


Haunted

by Jenniferladybug, Sweetestcondition



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Dark Rey (Star Wars), Eventual Smut, F/M, Fix-It, Force Bond (Star Wars), Graphic Novel, Happy Ending, Illustrations, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Movie: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, My boyfriend is dead how about yours?, Post-Canon, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Post-TRoS, Reincarnation, Reylo - Freeform, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, The Ghostest with the Mostest, force ghosts abound
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:29:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 106,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21870838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenniferladybug/pseuds/Jenniferladybug, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetestcondition/pseuds/Sweetestcondition
Summary: The kriffing idiot had vanished. Not even a body to mourn.And while Han Solo’s entire stash of Corellian whiskey couldn’t drown out the memories of that night on Exegol, perhaps it was the reason for the strange voices Rey was beginning to hear. Whispers of a promise she’d heard in a dream – or a nightmare – a long time ago."I’ll come back for you, sweetheart."Now, Rey must discover how far she is willing to go in pursuit of the power to bring back her soulmate from the World Between Worlds.Story bysweetestconditionFully illustrated byJenniferLadyBug
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 1242
Kudos: 1544
Collections: TROS Reylo Fix-it Fics, The Rise of Skywalker: Fix-It Fic Edition





	1. Whiskey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told myself I would absolutely not be doing this, I cannot start another Reylo fanfiction. But then, JJ went and did this to my babies and well... here we are. I simply must finish out their story until there is a happy ending. So, I hope you will join me on this adventure. I'm leaving the ending of TROS as canon and continuing from there. Let's get our happily ever after together! (But fair warning, a la Sweetestcondition style, lots of angst and drama along the way to that ending) I hope you enjoy it, and let me know what you think!

* * *

Sand pricked at Rey's calves as the wind whipped it past, whirling and spraying like a thousand tiny stinging insects. Then all at once the miniature sand spout seemed to tire of her and tore off in another direction.

She looked down at the little droid at her feet. Poor BB-8 was not particularly fond of sand.

Tatooine's second sun fell below the horizon before Rey turned reluctantly back into Master Luke's old homestead.

Three sunsets. Three days.

Rey had meant to be back with the Resistance by now. She'd wanted to go back to Ajan Kloss after paying her respects to her masters. But she hadn't left yet. The truth was, Rey was not ready to see her friends again. Not yet. Their smiling faces, their talk of plans, their selfless work to continue freeing each and every system of tyranny, of attempting to reinstate some kind of democratic government. It was too much. They were celebrating, they were doing good things, and she longed to feel a part of it. But something tore at her insides.

Rey sat heavily onto a stool at the filthy table. Everything was covered in thirty years of dirt but she couldn't bring herself to care.

BB-8 gave a low whine.

"I know."

The droid was right. She did have a lot to celebrate. She had done it, hadn't she? She was a Jedi. She'd stood with Ben and defeated the Sith.

With Ben. _Ben._

Her throat tightened and she forced a swallow.

There it was.

The gaping wound in her soul. The cause of the pain that would not let her sleep. Eat. _Live._

She was weak. And she gave in to the memory.

Again.

She wished her vision had been clearer then, that she had memorized his wondrous smile in more detail. Even so, the way his eyes shone with hope, with _love_ and the tender way he'd cradled her in his lap. She'd thrown herself into that kiss with everything she had.

And now, allowing herself to think of the way his lips had felt against hers was the most painful pleasure she could imagine. He was so soft, sweet as he'd responded to her and she wished she'd made it last longer. But they'd pulled away to simply stare at one another. If their kiss had been fuel for a lifetime of dreams, then the smile he offered her next had been torturous perfection. As wretched and colorless as Exegol was, Ben Solo's smile lit the entire space. It filled the empty hole in her heart she'd been trying to fill since Jakku.

And then, he'd just collapsed.

A sob came from nowhere to rack her body. Tears burned hotter than the desert sand as she grabbed the empty cup she'd brought in from the falcon, slammed it down on the table, and poured a glass of Corellian whiskey.

Damn it if that hadn't been Han Solo's bottle she'd found in the Falcon's galley and damned if she wasn't going to drink the whole thing to drown out the memory of Han Solo's son.

She relished the fire that flooded her throat as she took the first swig, eyes watering as it continued to burn all the way down to her stomach.

The kriffing idiot had vanished. Become one with the Force and completely disappeared.

Not even a body to mourn.

Rey downed the last few gulps of the whiskey and pushed herself away from the table, heading to the small pack she'd brought inside from the Falcon earlier and dropped onto a lounge chair. She pulled out the other bottle of whiskey, setting it aside for now and dug deeper into the pack.

She tugged slowly at the fabric she'd tucked carefully into the bottom of the bag, then unfolded it. The thing was huge. She could have fit two of herself in the enormous black shirt and she wondered what Ben would say if he could see her in it. Maybe he'd smile, laugh even. The image it brought to her mind tugged at one corner of her lip.

It was the first time she'd felt like smiling since coming to Tatooine.

Maybe the whiskey was helping after all.

She held the shirt up one more time, trying her best not to think about what had caused the massive hole in the garment's front, and slipped it on over her head. She swayed as a familiar scent wafted over her from the fabric. Something earthy, definitely sweaty, and laced with a delicate soapy smell. She couldn't liken the scent to anything but _him._ And the memory of their kiss threatened again.

Oh Force, how could she possibly live like this?

She gathered the excess material in her hands, sat down on a dusty old armchair, and cried into the only piece of Ben Solo she had.

She stayed in that chair, knees curled into her chest, clutching that sacred fabric until she felt as though she had no more tears left. BB-8 had long since rolled to the corner to power down when something familiar tugged at the edge of her consciousness.

She was standing straight in a heartbeat, still gripping Ben's shirt in her hand, listening for… something.

Another tug. She knew this feeling.

The Bond.

She spoke his name to the empty room. "Ben."

Her heart ached, a deep writhing pain when she was met with only silence.

She climbed the stairs to the outer atrium at the center of the homestead, then trudged up the hill to where the desert sand lay flat against the starry night sky. Rey looked out at those stars, tracing the swirling galaxies over and over again with her eyes.

The wind picked up, sending stray hairs tickling across her face with the breeze.

_Rey._

She wasn't even sure she'd heard anything, but could it be…

"Ben?" Her response was more of a croak thanks to all the crying she'd done.

_Rey._

"Ben!" This time her voice rang out strong, getting lost eventually in the expanse of the Tatooine night.

She waited.

She'd almost convinced herself she hadn't heard it when the voice came again.

_I'll come back for you, sweetheart._

"Ben! Where are you? Please, I – "

But the bond, that open wound that had been left so raw since Ben had disappeared, had been suddenly _right_ again. She'd felt connected once more, there was no mistaking that. And now, she was bleeding again from the emptiness of losing him.

What then had changed?

Rey collapsed onto her knees in the sand and looked up at the whirling patterns of stars far above. 

Nothing. Nothing had changed.

Nothing and _everything_.

* * *

I want to thank the amazing [JenniferLadyBug](https://jenniferladybug.tumblr.com) on Tumblr for these two beautiful illustrations! And surprise, each chapter is now illustrated!

Follow the author on Tumblr @ [erickawrites](https://erickawrites.tumblr.com)


	2. Dyad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I'm blown away by your wonderful comments! And I'm so excited there are others out there desperately wanting a happy ending for these two. I've outlined a full-size fic so I expect to be here a while with this one. Check me out on Tumblr under the tag Erickawrites and don't forget to comment. It is the fuel for my writing fire!

Rey cracked her eyes open tentatively, letting the morning light fill her vision gradually in a vain attempt to keep her throbbing headache at bay. At least she knew why Han had preferred the Corellian whiskey. What it lacked in flavor, it made up for in potency.

So potent in fact, it had caused her to experience auditory hallucinations after only one glass, and after three, well she could almost forget why she was still here on Tatooine. She could almost forget how her soul had been carved in two and one half ripped from her body.

And hadn't that been the point?

She rubbed her temples.

Through the fog of this horrific headache, it seemed like such a bad idea. But she knew that tonight, alone and with memories pounding at her consciousness, she would drink again. She would run out of whiskey far before she'd ever soothe the wound he'd left when he died.

And then what?

She couldn't think that far ahead.

Once Rey was sure she could tolerate the dim light of the homestead's bedroom, she rolled over and threw back the thin canvas blanket. BB-8 was already chittering to himself, rolling about, continuing the endless task of removing years of grime from the surfaces of the decrepit furniture. She watched his tiny arm extend and rotate, smearing the filth around with the remains of a towel.

He would be cleaning forever.

Why did he even try?

It took every ounce of effort for her to sit up and scoot to the edge of the bed. Her arms were weighted, her feet filled with lead.

But she couldn't find the energy to stand. Moving. Doing. Living. It was too much work.

She sighed deeply, falling heavily back onto the bed. Fresh tears clouded her eyes in an instant, yet another stinging welcome to a new day. She let them come, dabbing at them with the hem of Ben's shirt. She'd worn it all night again, despite her worry that it had already started losing his scent. Eventually, she would have to sleep alone again. More tears pricked behind her eyes with this new threatening revelation, another heart wrenching truth she wasn't yet ready to face.

_Rey, please, I didn't want this for you._

The tone was deep and resonant, and it kick started her broken heart into a steady drumming beat. She jerked her head up, toward where the owner of that voice should be standing. The room was empty. She continued scanning, searching.

_You can hear me?_

"Ben? Yes! I – " She stood too fast, swayed on her feet a bit, before she was able to catch herself with a hand against the end of the bed. Once she was sure she wasn't going to pass out, she continued her inspection, examining every inch of the room. Was she dreaming? Still drunk? Or could this really be him? She didn't want to hope. That would only rip open new wounds she was trying to heal if this turned out to be something else. "How are you doing this?"

He sighed, his breath echoing off the pourstone walls. _I don't know. I wasn't even sure you could hear me after last night._

"I thought," she shook her head, "I thought I was imagining you with me. She took a step forward, "Can you see me?"

 _Yes._ He seemed to choke on the word. _But I can't stand to watch you like this._

She looked down at herself. She'd been wearing his shirt for three days off and on. She hadn't washed her own clothes, hadn't bathed, she hadn't brushed her hair or teeth. And for the first time, she saw herself as he must see her. She wrapped her arms around her chest hoping she could shield herself from his view, keep him from seeing how pitifully low she had sunk.

"Ben, I – I can't believe you're really here, I thought I was going crazy last night."

 _No, not crazy. Just hopelessly intoxicated._ His tone wasn't degrading or derogatory in the least. It held absolutely no judgement. It was just… sad.

"Why can't I see you? When Master Luke appeared – "

This was obviously a sore spot and he cut her off immediately. _You can thank Luke for being such a horrible instructor in the ways of the spiritual Force. Without his incompetence, I could never have failed so completely at appearing to you as a Force Ghost._

Rey thought Master Luke had seemed pretty competent as a Force Ghost when he'd come to her on Ahch-To, but she didn't dare argue that point.

"Why now? Why didn't you come before?"

In an instant, all of the bitter humor had melted away and she could hear the raw emotion scraping the edge of his voice. _I've been trying. I'm sorry, Rey._ He was taking quick breaths between phrases now, as though he was running out of air. _And I wanted to tell you so many things, on Exegol, but all I could do was smile like a fool. I can't –_

He stopped mid-sentence to catch his breath.

"No, Ben. Don't say that. You gave me _everything._ "

She wanted to tell him more. She should confess how much their kiss had meant to her. How she'd finally felt whole for the first time in her life. How she missed him so much, despite having so little time together with him, with _Ben_.

But she couldn't form the words.

Ben's breathing was growing louder now, as though he'd just run to her from the other side of the Dune Sea.

 _I wish I knew more about this._ His voice came harsh, in struggling bursts. _I can feel them here in the Force, Luke and Mother, but I can't find them._ His voice was fading into the distance as he spoke the final time, like someone walking away, his words were gradually wrapped in silence. _There's something dark here. Finding you is easier, with the bond, but I don't…_

She felt the tether connecting them release, like a cord had snapped somewhere deep in her insides. "Ben!" Her pulse drummed unevenly in her ears as the emptiness crept back in.

She found the strength to breathe deeply, to center herself before her resolve had a chance to crumble under the weight of her grief. She held on to him. His memory, as she closed her eyes, and reached out through the Force for the first time since Exegol. The energy of life and death quivered in balance all around her and there, amidst it all, she sensed _him_. He was a part of it, the living Force. Did that mean he could appear to her as Master Luke and Leia had? Was he trying to say that there was a hope, a small shred of hope that she could see him again?

She was snapped back to the present, to where she stood leaning against the bed. BB-8 was worriedly tweeting, gears buzzing as he nervously rocked back and forth, questioning who she'd been talking to.

"Could you hear him?"

A negative buzz in response.

"He's one with the Force, BB-8."

A twittering question about who.

"A friend."

Another high rising squeal.

"No, not Leia… or Luke," she added. "But I think you'd like him, too. His name is Ben."

Of course, if BB-8 ever really found out who she was talking to, who Ben used to be, the droid would likely roll as fast as he could in the opposite direction. She hadn't gotten around to explaining all of the events leading to Palpatine's defeat, of Ben Solo's role in destroying the Sith to anyone. And now, that glaring hole in the story weighed heavy on her mind. Ben was a hero and the Resistance deserved to hear about his sacrifice. But instead, Rey had chosen to cloister herself aboard the Falcon, forge her new lightsaber, and head here to grieve.

She just hadn't expected to fall apart completely. For days.

But hearing his voice, just his voice was a medpac to her frayed soul, to that open wound that was left after he'd passed. She'd thought it was their Bond being ripped away. But could it be, that their connection remained? Despite the damage she felt to her heart, was it possible that the Bond was still there?

She thought back to something the Emperor had said. A frigid chill scuttled up her spine at the thought of him. She forced his image back, recalling instead, only the words he'd said. That she and Ben were a Force dyad, and within that dyad was "a power like life itself."

Ben thought it was the Bond that was letting him connect with her. That thought filled her with a hope that restored her energy, gave her the will to think again, to plan for tomorrow. If all they ever had was _this_ … a different sort of connection. Just the ability to talk to him. Not all the time, even just…

She looked down at herself, taking in Ben's shirt, still stained with tears, her filthy leggings and boots, unwashed for who knows how long. She ran a hand through her greasy hair and released a long, ragged sigh.

"You deserve better than this, Ben."

She didn't know if Ben could hear her, but it didn't matter. She would show him. If he was somehow out there, a part of the Force, he didn't deserve to see her miserable. He didn't want that for her. He'd saved her so she could _live,_ not so she could kill herself slowly like this.

BB-8 looked up, blipped an acknowledgment and went back to his cleaning.

Rey slipped Ben's shirt off, folded it neatly, and tucked it into her bag. She arranged her own clothing in proper order, gathered her hair into her signature buns and clipped her lightsaber to her belt, ignoring the blurred edges of her vision and the roiling nausea threatening to spoil her newfound motivation.

She forced down a packet of dried rations and a tall cup of water and headed to the Falcon. She was sure she'd have missed a hundred communications by now.

Her suspicions were verified by the blinking light at the comm station. She didn't bother to listen to any messages, but immediately patched a signal through to the Resistance, where Finn had asked her to contact him.

Finn's voice vibrated through the Falcon's cockpit, loud and breathless in answer to her call, "Rey!"

"Hey Finn."

His questions rushed out in one panicked stream. "What's wrong? Why haven't you responded? I couldn't feel - Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine, Finn," she assured, turning the volume down on the comm station to keep her head from exploding. "I just… needed some time."

"Are you ready to come home?" he asked, voice notably softer.

Home.

She still wasn't sure what that was. And couldn't really imagine it without…

"We need you," he continued. "There were some First Order ships not on Exegol, they are refusing to give up control of Corellia. Putting all of their existing resources into saving their shipyards there."

"You don't need me for that, you have the Free Worlds Fleet now. You and Poe – "

"Rey. Please. We need to talk. In person."

She inhaled deeply. She couldn't stay here forever, but something wouldn't let her leave. What if Ben couldn't find her on Ajan Kloss?

"I can't leave yet," she said, praying Finn wouldn't question further.

"Why?"

Rey sighed. "I just… I can't."

"Okay, then. I'll come there," he offered.

"No."

Something told her having Finn here, alone would be… awkward. And besides that, she wasn't sure the Resistance could spare him with everything going on in the aftermath of the battle of Exegol.

"Please Rey, there's more, I really need to talk to you."

Something desperate in her friend's voice pulled at her then.

And now, there were other things pulling her back to Ajan Kloss besides her friends. She needed to search for answers she could only discover in the sacred Jedi texts. She thought back to her year of training with Leia, flipping through the volumes late at night, trying to soak up as much wisdom as possible under her Master's tutelage. She was sure there were sections about Force Ghosts and resurrection, but it hadn't mattered to her then. She'd never thought… but maybe there was something she'd missed in those ancient pages that could be useful. And she'd left them at the Resistance Base.

And if a single piece of information from those texts could help Ben, then she would have to try.

The outline of a plan started to unfold in her mind. She would go to Ajan Kloss to talk to Finn, to tell the true story of what she and Ben had managed to accomplish against the Sith on Exegol, and look back at the sacred texts. But if she didn't hear Ben's voice after a few days, she would come up with another excuse to get back here to Tatooine.

"Rey?" Finn's worried voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"Okay," she finally said. "Okay Finn, I'll come."

"You will?" His voice had shot up so high in pitch, it cracked a bit at the end. "You will," he repeated. And the obvious relief she heard there brought a smile to her face.

"Yes. I'll head out soon."

"We'll be waiting. And Rey?" He paused and she could practically see his bright smile on the other side of his comm station. "Lando brought along this new cook, and oh man are you gonna love his deep fried nuna drumsticks."

Rey chuckled, a foreign sound in her throat. "I can't wait."

Rey switched off the comm and with new purpose, she packed up everything she'd brought into the homestead. Except for the bottles of whiskey. She eyed them on the table, and left them where they sat, hoping she didn't need those anymore, and readied the ship.

With the coordinates to Ajan Kloss programmed, Rey pressed the command to make the jump to lightspeed and sank back into the pilot's seat as the stars stretched into ribbons of light.

"Ben." She breathed his name into the quiet of space. "Thank you."

This time, the silent response she received wasn't one of desperate emptiness. Because if she really tried, really reached out through that interconnected web of Force that held the universe together, she could feel him somewhere. A spark, a presence, far away, but there all the same.

And she was going to do everything she could to build that twinge of a feeling into something more.

* * *

Everyone can thank the amazing [JenniferLadyBug](https://jenniferladybug.tumblr.com) on Tumblr for more beautiful illustrations!


	3. Hands

Rey dipped the Falcon into the atmosphere, toward the towering trees of Ajan Kloss. She loved the way the forest looked from above - nature's quilt, a patchwork of green in every shade. She was finally getting used to seeing so much of the color, but found that somehow, she still preferred the sand.

She wondered which Ben preferred.

Rey jerked her thoughts from that path immediately, before the tears had a chance to flow again. She would not break down today. There was no reason. She could just ask him next time they spoke. And there _would_ be a next time. She would not consider the alternative.

And that was that.

A hailing beep came through the comm and she patched it through. "Welcome back, Rey."

"Thanks Connix."

"Western clearing."

"Copy that."

She eased the controls of the Falcon to skirt the clearing, touching down gently at the far side. Rey gathered her bag and stood with her hand against the door lock, steeling herself for the inevitable barrage of questions that would soon come.

The ramp hissed open and BB-8 rolled down ahead of her, twittering excitedly. The humid air of the jungle clung to her skin like a damp cloth as she traversed the muddy path to the base. Moisture gathered in beads on the foliage lining the path. New puddles reflected the billowing white clouds above. It was clear that Ajan Kloss didn't get so green by chance.

She tramped over gnarled roots and around slick, rocky outcroppings, turning the last corner before the base. Finn stood between two hulking banyan trees, a huge grin on his face.

"Rey!"

He caught her in an embrace and towed her by the arm excitedly toward the large hangar at the center of their base. "Did you even listen to any of the messages I sent?"

Rey scrunched her mouth into an apologetic wince.

He shook his head. "I didn't think so."

They approached the yawning hangar door together. Open on the North side, the hangar was carved into the face of a cliff, covered by creeping vines and roots on all sides.

"I'll give you one thing, you have great timing," Finn said, "everyone's in the mess hall."

Rey saw only two or three familiar faces on the way to the hall, nodding in greeting at each of them as she passed. And the mess hall, normally packed with people at this time for midday meal, was eerily empty.

Finn glanced her way, reading her questioning look. "Most people went home to spend time with family and friends."

He caught her eyes, and she could see the unspoken words hidden in that gaze. _Then there's us. Those who don't have families to go home to._

Rey squeezed his arm and continued to follow him into the rear of the base.

She was glad to have found the family she had, this family here with the Resistance. And as they approached the scattered tables and spotted Poe and Rose rising from their meals to wave excitedly, she was convinced she'd made the right decision to come back.

"Damn it Rey, you really need to learn how to return a message." Poe's sarcastic greeting was at odds with the warmth of his embrace. The two had always butted heads, but they were like family now. And she thought, as he gave her an accusing look, that he was the obnoxious older brother she'd never had.

Rose was next, with a comforting hug in place of sarcasm. "Welcome home."

"I hope you saved some drumsticks for me," Rey said, smiling.

Poe raised an eyebrow in Finn's direction. "So, she wouldn't answer our communications for days, but promise a couple of drumsticks and she's here in a few hours?"

They all laughed and Finn grabbed a plate, stacking it heavily with nuna legs, spiced root vegetables, and some amazing looking sticky buns and handed it with a flourish to Rey. He then proceeded to do the same thing for himself before patting the bench next to him.

"The kitchen is still in celebration mode," Rose noted, twirling a vegetable in a pool of sauce on her plate.

Rey took a seat next to Finn and dug in. As promised, the nuna drumsticks were heavenly. A salty crunch on the outer skin paired perfectly with the juicy, savory meat inside and Rey was on her third leg before she'd raised her eyes from her plate.

"I take it you haven't been eating much?" Rose asked delicately.

Rey replied from around a mouthful. "Just dried rations."

"You also look like you haven't slept in a week," Poe said, never one to beat around the bush.

She kept chewing.

Finn looked up and down the table, making sure no one else was listening before leaning in closer to her. He looked down, gritted his teeth and took a deep breath, preparing to say whatever it was they wanted to tell her. "Look Rey, we're worried about you. You've been through a lot and we want you to know you can talk to us."

Rey stabbed at a purplish vegetable and shoveled it into her mouth. "So, ply me with food and then begin the interrogation, huh?"

"We just want to make sure you're okay," Rose said.

"I'm fine." She set her fork down and started in on a sticky bun. "There was just a lot to process."

Poe's eyes were sharp, he never let her get away with being vague. "You still haven't told us what exactly happened down there."

She hesitated, overstuffing her mouth with another bite of gooey sweetness.

"We can't help you unless you let us in, Rey." Finn's voice had assumed that infuriating tone he used when he treated her like she was something delicate, something that could break if mishandled.

"I said I'm fine." She finished chewing and straightened her shoulders, ready to tell them the story they needed to hear. "But you're right. There were some things about Exegol I think everyone should know." She spotted a pitcher of what she hoped was Jogan juice and poured a cupful. "But first, can you please pass me another bun?"

* * *

Rey was scraping the last morsels from her plate when Poe raised an eyebrow. "Alright, you've packed in enough food to feed a small herd of banthas, now… tell us."

Rey breathed deeply, leaned forward and started from the beginning. She'd mentioned the Emperor's plans before and that the Jedi who'd lived before had spoken to her, given her the power to defeat the Sith. But this time, she added in the details of the actual battle, the details she couldn't stand to describe the last time she's spoken of it. She explained how Kylo Ren turned away from the Dark Side and assumed his given name, Ben Solo. She explained how he'd faced down the Knights of Ren to get to her and in the end, how he'd sacrificed himself to save her.

It took everything she had to keep from faltering as she described how he faded away having used his life Force to resurrect her.

When she finished, Poe's mouth was hanging open, his brows at sharp angles low over his eyes.

"You want me to believe that Kylo Ren actually _helped_ you?"

Rey wanted to slap the disgusted expression from his face.

Instead, she shot him a dagger of a look that caused him to wither just slightly. "Weren't you listening?" she asked. "Ben Solo didn't just help me. Ben Solo _died_ to save me. To save the Resistance."

Poe looked ready to snap back with something, but Finn was leaning over the table at him with a glare that even Poe couldn't ignore.

"We're listening, Rey," Finn said. "It's just, you're right, it's like you said, it's hard to process." He nudged her gently, brows furrowed. "I saw you fighting him, though. On the Death Star wreckage."

Rey wasn't sure she could admit to everything that had happened in between. Her vision, the way she'd skirted dangerously close to the Dark Side, that she'd actually killed him and brought him back. Their connection, their kiss… She wasn't sure they would understand, even now.

"He got the upper hand in that battle, but he couldn't kill me. Then I… well, I couldn't kill him either."

"Why not?" Rose asked, voice quiet.

_Because I need him._

"Because I… we understood each other."

"How in the hell could you understand someone like that?" Poe snapped.

Rey stood up, a wave of Force crashing through her like a reflex, rocking the table and causing the bench they were sitting on to fall backwards. Finn tumbled backward and looked up confused.

"Finn." She wanted to explain, to fight for Ben's honor and explain it to them until they could understand, but the emotion was still so raw, right below the surface. She couldn't.

"I'm sorry," was all she could manage to Finn before turning to go. She headed to the small personal quarters she'd called home for the last year, trying to ignore the image of her friends' shocked expressions carved into her memory.

How could she call herself a Jedi? She still couldn't control her anger despite everything she'd been through.

She took the stairs to the upper level two at a time. Her room was set back into the cliff with one side open toward the jungle. She preferred it this way, many of the other rooms made her feel trapped, this was the only one she'd ever found any sleep in.

Closing the door behind her, she stood panting, looking out over the mist that was rising over the canopy. One deep breath and she called the Force to her, seeking balance, peace.

A rush of comfort filled her to overflowing, and with it, _his_ voice.

_Thank you, Rey._

Nothing else in the galaxy could have given her the instant surge of warmth straight into her veins that his voice gave her.

"Ben." His name came to her lips like a prayer.

_You were… you were defending me._

He sounded shocked, which hurt just a bit. "Of course I was. They need to know what happened."

He spoke the next words low, almost as if they were meant for himself. _No one's ever defended me._

"That's not true," she said.

There was a long silence, broken only by the clattering of tools in the hangar outside, and the chirping of birds in the jungle trees.

 _You're right._ She could hear his breathing as he paused, its steady rise and fall filling her small quarters. _Mother died defending me. From myself._

"Oh Ben," she said. "I'm so sorry." She looked out over the jungle, remembering Leia's training with a fondness that burned in that empty space inside of herself. "I miss her."

_Me, too._

They remained quiet together for a long moment as a mutual silence of love and loss for General Leia Organa passed between them. She waited for him to speak first. She'd almost begun to think he'd faded away by the time he responded again.

_I can't stand that pilot._

Rey was not surprised to hear that Ben Solo was capable of holding a grudge.

"He can be difficult."

Ben huffed in response. _Even so, I'm glad you're here. You can't close yourself off again like that._

She nodded. "I know." She searched the small room, hoping that he'd found a way to show himself to her. She craved to see his face, Ben Solo's face, as he spoke. She'd had so little time with him. "How much of that conversation did you see?"

 _Enough to know why you feel alone. And you still didn't tell them the whole story._ There was an edge to his tone this time, a vein of hurt running through his words. _About me. About us._

Rey sat down heavily on her bunk. "I'm not sure they could understand the Bond between us."

 _Then how can they ever understand_ you?

He had a point. He'd become so much of her and she so much of him. The Bond was part of who she was. Could she possibly explain such a thing? She could imagine the sarcastic reply Poe would give, but maybe Finn had a better chance of understanding.

Rey focused her attention on it then, on that connection between Ben and herself. With him so close in the Force, it was alive with life and energy. She'd been wanting to try something. She knew he'd used the Bond to communicate with her, and she wanted to do the same.

She reached out, feeling the Force of their link, and sent him an image. One of her most precious memories: the time she'd reached for his hand on Ahch-to.

She heard his sharp intake of breath as he experienced her own anticipation, her own desire to feel the touch of his skin, and Rey sensed his focus shift to their Bond.

The Force hummed through and around her and she directed it to her hand, lying palm up on the bed where she sat. She pulled as hard as she could at that thread connecting the two of them, willing him to come to her.

She was breathless with anticipation as long fingers, radiating a faint blue glow, laced slowly through her own, and she heard him gasp. His palm pressed fully against hers and came to rest there, warm and reassuring. She smiled, heart swelling, and when he cradled her whole hand in his, squeezing tight protectively, she melted a little around the edges.

A heady feeling, a tingly mixture of heart thudding expectation and pure joy at his contact threatened to overtake her completely. It reminded her a bit of the feeling she got after the first cup of Corellian whiskey, except this was multiplied tenfold.

_Rey._

His voice was lower, more fragile than she'd ever heard it.

She swallowed, not trusting her voice to work at just this moment. She couldn't believe he was here. And he was holding her hand. It was more than she could have ever wished for.

She glanced down again, studying the outline of his hand, along with a very faint contour of a sleeve, clear up to the elbow before it faded completely at the upper arm. As she worked to memorize the shape of him, she realized she wanted to know him, too, in a way she'd never been allowed when he was Kylo Ren. She wanted to have a normal conversation with Ben Solo. And she knew just where to start.

"Which do you prefer, the jungle or the desert?"

He chuckled at this, a wonderful rolling sound from deep in his chest and it brought a smile to her lips.

 _That is not a question I was expecting._ He paused to consider. _But if you must know, the jungle._

He lifted her hand then, testing his ability to manipulate their physical connection. _And you? Have you had enough of the desert?_

"Actually, no. I still prefer it."

 _Oh?_ He seemed to have moved closer now, his deep voice sending strange tingles down her arms and into her fingertips. _Once a scavenger always a scavenger._

She wanted to lean into him, tried to imagine it, to send the thought as an image through their connection as she had before, but was met with a fuzzy sort of resistance.

_I wish. I wish we had more time._

And something was already twisting at the Bond. They didn't have long.

"Are you afraid?"

There was a long silence as he weighed his answer. Rey wished she could look into those expressive eyes of his to see the truth.

_No._

"I want to know what it's like for you."

 _Most of the time it's peaceful, like floating in a calm lagoon. I don't feel much, really, until I feel_ you.

Rey wasn't sure what any of that would be like, but had the fleeting thought that she would love to find out. With him.

When he spoke again, she was relieved to find he hadn't sensed the direction of her thoughts. _So, I'm not afraid for myself, no._

"That's not a full answer."

He gave another low laugh. _You're right._

She heard him breathe deeply before continuing on. _There are moments when I sense something else, a different place._ He sucked in another draught of air. _I have this feeling, that if I could just get there and go down the right path, I could… well, maybe I could come back to you._

"What?" Rey honestly wasn't sure she could handle the amount of hope his words brought to her tattered emotions. "How do you know?"

_A feeling._

His words were coming in staccato now, just as they had before and she could feel he was fading. She squeezed his hand one last time, imprinting his touch to her memory, to re-live over and over until she could feel him again.

"You mentioned sensing something dark."

_Yes._

"I don't understand," she said.

But his presence had faded, leaving behind a stinging void in that familiar place in her chest, and she glanced down at her open hand lying useless and empty at her side.

Rey closed her eyes and rested her head in her hands.

A double knock at the door echoed through the space.

"Come in," she managed to croak, rising from the bed and pretending to be busy unpacking.

Poe stood in the doorway, looking slightly cowed, eyes on the floor. "Rey, I… look, I came to apologize. I shouldn't have – "

"It's alright, Poe."

He looked up, dark eyes taking in her features, likely noting her glossy eyes or stricken expression. She was never good at hiding the feelings on her face.

"Who –" he began, doing a quick scan of the room, "who were you talking to?"

* * *

Don't forget to thank the amazing [JenniferLadyBug](https://jenniferladybug.tumblr.com) on Tumblr for the illustrations! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! I hope this chapter makes a nice gift. Sending wishes for healing from my broken heart to yours.
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr at erickawrites


	4. Solid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll now, your enthusiasm and comments have really motivated me to crank these chapters out. That and I've been on vacation which allows me the time to write. Finally! Thank you for all of your Kudos. Each of your comments are pure gold!

Who was she talking to? Well, there was no way Rey could answer that one honestly, at least not yet, and especially not to Poe.

"No one," she sputtered, fumbling for some excuse. She gestured around the empty room. "No one here, just talking to myself."

"Well, I didn't hear anyone else." Poe's eyes narrowed as he craned his head to look around her empty bunk. "But it sure sounded like you were having a full-blown conversation to me."

Rey furrowed her brows. "Like I said before, I'm just trying to process all of this."

Poe heaved a breath and stepped forward. "If you need to talk, you don't have to use the wall," he said, gesturing to what he obviously thought she'd been communicating with. "Come back and talk to us. I shouldn't have snapped." He shook his head. "There's obviously a lot to the story I missed. I should have listened."

Rey nodded. "I promise I'll fill you in. But what I really need right now is some time to myself."

He dipped his chin in a tense nod. "Alright," he said, pressing his lips together and turning to leave.

"Poe," she said forcing a pained smile "Thank you."

He flashed a weak smile in return, but his eyes remained untouched. He was not buying what she was selling and would be back, and would likely bring Finn and Rose with him. He gave her one last concerned glance before heading back out the way he came.

The tension she'd been carrying drained from her as soon as the door clicked shut. She wasn't ready to explain Ben's predicament to anyone quite yet.

She could only imagine how that conversation might go.

But Ben was right, she should tell them at some point. It might help them understand where she was coming from and how she was feeling.

She thought back to something Poe had said that stuck out in her mind. Poe hadn't heard Ben's voice. Neither had BB-8, in fact. She thought she remembered reading that only those who were Force sensitive were able to commune with those in the realm of the Living Force. And she thought that's where Ben probably was.

But everything wasn't clicking into place. If he was truly there, one with the Force, then why did she still feel their connection? Why hadn't he been able to pass on immediately? She thought back to his description of another place, someplace that would lead back to her.

What was he talking about, and why was there a darkness there?

There were too many questions to try to consider. And Rey was starting to feel trapped, nerves causing her shoulders to tense up again, cold sweat breaking across her forehead.

She needed to _move._

* * *

Rey ran the training course twice before falling into a heap against the monstrous bigleaf maple, gulping air and shaking from exertion. The tree had become something akin to a friend over the last year, the beginning of its roots forming nature's perfect chaise lounge after such hard won tests of physical endurance.

As her shoulders pitched with heavy panting breaths, Rey felt both exhausted and rejuvenated as she always did after a physical trial. She reached out through the Force, in attempt to find a place of calm in all of the chaos of the past day.

She felt herself separate from the ground, rising as she became encapsulated in the embrace of the Force.

"Be with me," she whispered, falling deeper into the space where only the Force could exist. "Be with me."

And they were. As she continued to meditate, she could feel them as one with the Force. All of the Jedi who came before and she wondered how she had been so blind as to miss them before. They had always been there. She was not alone and would never be alone again. They were with her wherever she was if she would only listen.

A familiar tug at her core announced another appearance in the Force, and cracking open an eyelid, she sensed Ben, only a very faint cross-legged outline of him, meditating alongside her.

She wanted to scream from relief, to study his face, to assault him with more questions. but she knew the only thing keeping him here was their powerful connection. A bond that was fueled by the Force and she would not lose focus on it, instead letting it expand and contract with the energy of interconnected life surrounding them.

Clearing her mind of questions, she tried to just _be._

Minutes or hours passed, it didn't matter. The Force was both instant and eternal all at once.

Then… darkness. Her stomach twisted and she was dropped into a battle. Bare trees backlit by an eerie red haze, glowing embers falling like snow over the planet's colonists. They all wore flattened dome-shaped helmets and goggles and looked like ghosts with their protective cloaks skimming the ground of the boggy landscape.

 _Not ghosts, but soon to be_ , she thought, as she recognized the approach of a vicious red saber and the haunting apparition wielding it.

Ben.

No, not Ben. This was pure Kylo Ren, using all of his hulking frame to slash, kick, and slam each of his enemies into the ground. The look on his face was pure, unadulterated rage. The power of each lightsaber stroke reminded her of what it felt like to face him in combat. She'd sensed, all along that he'd held back with her, and she was glad she'd never have to face his full fury. Two dozen enemies fell in under a minute, along with the occasional tree that got in the way.

Suddenly, Rey was overcome with the feeling that time had unfolded in an instant and these colonists, much fewer in number now, stood elsewhere, huddled around a table, speaking to a holo-projection of a hooded figure. The figure's robes were tattered and frayed at the ends and its hood hung so low, there was no way to see the features lurking underneath.

In a flash of dizziness, Rey was somewhere else.

Drifting above a blue planet, slashed across with streams of white clouds, cities glittering far below. A Corellian ship waited far above the atmosphere. Rey drifted closer, passing through the hull of the vessel, reaching the control room where four hooded figures stood with arms crossed talking in hushed whispers.

She wandered closer, trying to pick up their words.

"We are close," one hissed. "They are _there_ if they could only find a way to pass through."

"We need the dyad."

"It is destroyed."

"No," came a reply. "It hangs on." It was the same hooded figure from before, robes in shreds, features unrecognizable. "By a thread." All four figures snapped their heads in her direction, all four sets of eyes locked onto hers and she was pushed back. Hard.

She landed, the sickening thump of her own flesh and bones crashing against the jungle floor was the only thing she heard for a long moment.

What in the kriffing hell was that?

A squawking buntu bird was her mocking response as she scanned the jungle nervously. It was later than she thought, the light was turning thick and orange, as it always did close to twilight in the jungle.

"Ben," she said, her voice catching in her throat. "Who were those people?"

She took one more breath to steady herself, rose to dust herself off, and began the long walk back to the base. She had a lot of reading to do.

* * *

The texts were where she left them, in an alcove, stuffed into a drawer on the west side of the hangar. She found a lantern that still shone weakly and got to work, trying to ignore echoes of the visions the Force had offered her.

It was a half hour or so until she found anything of interest – a thick tome, full to bursting with theories about the living Force. The writer had translated the volume with perfect, fine strokes of the pen, speculating that in order to fully pass through into the Living Force, one must be completely willing.

" _Once willing, the Jedi is able to sublimate their organic cells into a state of pure energy that they can choose to manipulate. In this state of being, they may appear to other Force sensitive listeners, even going so far as interacting with the listener or the listener's environment."_ – Master San Li'Kwa

Rey read on, learning of the limitations of this type of power after death.

If Ben had begun to appear to her, he must have passed on into death. He must have been willing to die for her.

She'd known this, but reading it pushed her to pay attention to it again. Acknowledging just how much he had sacrificed.

She wiped the back of her hand across her cheek, not allowing her search to falter. She would help him. There must be a way. The same book, full of spiritual guidance for the Jedi, held several passages on the mythos of the Force Dyad. She'd read these pages with interest before, suspecting that this could explain how she'd been drawn to him over and over during her time on Ahch-To, but now the Bond had been all but confirmed and she read the passages again with a new vigor.

" _A bond between two living beings is not something easily broken. It is not a choice… it is like breaking a feeling. Like turning away from the Force. To break a bond, your feelings would have to change, or one of you would have to die—but even then, the bond wouldn't go away, it would simply… it would simply be empty, a wound._ "―Master Zez-Kai Ell

And that's exactly what it was. When he wasn't there, it ached raw like an open wound. But Rey knew that the bond remained in some capacity, because when Ben appeared to her she felt its pull. She sensed his presence. She could still draw on him, as she'd done today while meditating, they were still connected. Even in death.

She continued her search, poring over pages, re-reading passages hoping to memorize them, to share with Ben later. Her neck was aching from stooping low over the books, her eyes growing fuzzy with focusing, when someone cleared their throat nearby.

Rose stood smiling, a pile of folded clothes in her outstretched arms. "Hey."

"Hey," she answered, her voice feeling creaky from disuse.

"It's almost two in the morning," Rose said. "I wanted to see if you were hungry and bring you this."

"What's that?" Rey asked.

"You dropped your pack in the mess hall, so I gathered up the stuff that spilled and took it to wash. They're all clean and folded now."

It was such a Rose thing to do. To look out for her like that.

Rey stood, stretching frozen joints and laid a hand on her friend's arm. "Thank you, Rose. That was so sweet of you."

Rey looked down at the pile of clothes, her favorite white cropped leggings and tunic and draped fabric she wore for protection from the sand, though she really didn't need that part anymore. It was more habitual than anything else. But without the flowing fabric and arm wrappings, she felt… exposed.

Rose smiled up at her. "It was no problem, I was washing mine anyway."

"I'm sorry I've been, you know. I've been different."

But Rose shook away the apology. "We're just glad you're here."

Rose held the pile out for her and that's when Rey saw it. Folded and stuffed in between her signature white and cream - a corner of black fabric peeking from underneath her own garments.

 _His_ shirt.

Rey's mouth went dry and she reached for the clothes with her hands shaking.

Rose tugged at the dark fabric. "This was with your things, too. But I didn't recognize it. Is it yours?"

"Yes," she croaked. "Yes." She repeated, attempting to steady her voice.

"It looked pretty big, are you sure?" Rose asked, finally meeting her eyes.

Rey attempted non-chalance but was sure she was failing miserably. She nodded and Rose cocked her head, studying her face.

"Oh Rey," Her friend's brows came together in an expression of complete sympathy. "It's his isn't it?"

And she was running again. Pushing past Rose, she was running into the misty dark of the jungle until she was alone, lost amidst the hanging vines and towering trunks. Alone where she could breathe, where she could think. Where she could remember him. Her ragged breath was loud in her ears, the usual vitality of life in the jungle silenced by the night. And finally far from the base, she stopped and unclipped her saber to light her path. The trees around her glowed gold as the warm radiance of her weapon filled the darkness around her.

_Your saber is magnificent._

Her stomach clenched, a reflexive reaction to the timbre of his voice.

"Ben, I need you here. I can't do this."

_I am here._

"I still don't understand how? The texts…"

_The texts were written to guide a single Jedi, not a dyad. I wanted to pass on, I knew I had to according to Luke's teaching. But the texts, Luke's lessons, they never mentioned a Force Bond. I couldn't imagine leaving you alone._

"Then how are you appearing to me?"

_This is something different._

Rey felt the tug of his spirit in that moment, a silent request to echo his focus. He was remembering his body, imagining looking into a mirror and willing his energy to manifest into that familiar physical form. Rey's heart beat faster as she realized what he was attempting. She drew from the vast expanse of Force she had access to here in the physical world and felt him draw from another place.

And they met somewhere in the middle.

Slowly, he began to take shape before her - his deep sensitive eyes, his strong nose, soft lips framed by waves of raven hair. Below that, broad shoulders materialized followed by the rest of his sturdy form. The only differences between this Ben and the memory she held of him, were the bluish glow radiating from his outline and the surprising change in clothing. He was wearing a cream-colored tunic with a V-shaped neckline set low enough to reveal a hint of his muscular chest. Draped over this, he wore the hooded robe of a Jedi. She drank deeply of the misty night air as her pulse hammered loudly in her ears. Force, he was beautiful. Even in death, Ben Solo, Prince of Alderaan, had taken her breath away.

[ ](https://imgur.com/GIYa24g)

She swallowed hard, eyes locked onto his.

_You look like you've seen a ghost._

And with that, she was laughing. A gut-busting, snort-inducing laugh that warmed her blood and brought her back to life.

When she'd finally caught her breath, she looked up at him. "Ben Solo, did you just tell a joke?"

He winked as a half-smile curled one lip, an expression that instantly reminded her of Han.

_I'll tell more if you promise to snort like that again._

He held out his arms to her and she looked up at him, questioning. She didn't want to push this too far. What if she lost him? But the temptation of his touch was too much to deny.

She let her concentration deepen, wrapping herself in the Force and supporting Ben's unwavering focus, willing his form to be firm under her hands before she stepped into his arms. To her shock, at first touch he was solid. She circled her arms around his shoulders, feeling the outline of him under her fingertips. Tracing the hard lines of muscle she found there, she relished the rush of blood that followed, making her dizzy, sending her world spinning.

She laid her head against his shoulder and felt him pull her closer against his chest.

The soft sound he made, somewhere between a hum and a moan, sent her reeling again, stomach flipping more violently than it did when she was running the training course. She inhaled, blessed with that heady scent of him, both earthy and delicate. She was swimming in him now and if she could choose to drown there, she would.

It was in his arms that she found the strength to realize she'd been wrong to run. Her friends deserved to know about not just what Ben had sacrificed, but what he meant to her.

* * *

Don't forget to thank the amazing [JenniferLadyBug](https://jenniferladybug.tumblr.com) on Tumblr for these beautiful illustrations!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr at [erickawrites](https://erickawrites.tumblr.com)


	5. Saber

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank you all enough for your amazing comments. I love hearing what you think. I'm truly surviving on comments and Baby Yoda right now. How amazing was that last episode of Mandalorian though?!

Rey grudgingly lifted her head from Ben's shoulder, giving in to her desire to see his face again before he faded away. She longed to see him smile like he had on Exegol. A rare, beautiful expression she felt was just for her. But when something tugged gently at their Bond, she knew she wouldn't see it tonight.

They didn't have long.

Instead, she reached her hand up to stroke the side of his face, running her fingers over the place on his cheek that would dimple if he smiled. She studied the line of his jaw, the angle of his lips, thinking of how they would feel against hers again.

He sighed, his warm breath tickling the back of her hand and she raised her gaze to meet his.

He was watching her intently. Searching her face, reaching for her emotions through the Bond. As his eyes burned into hers, she gathered the courage to draw her thumb along his bottom lip, wanting so much to memorize every curve, every feature.

But her fingers passed right through him, as if he were just a holo image. He was fading.

She tried so hard to keep the terror from her face, but when his frown lines deepened, she knew she hadn't been successful.

"We really need to work on making whatever this is last longer."

 _Trust me, that's the_ only _thing I've been thinking about._

"If you aren't completely part of the living Force, then where are you?"

Her heart sank when his words started coming in short bursts. _I'm not sure. I use the Living Force to reach you, but there's something else. Luke mentioned an in between, but I don't think I'm there either._

"That vision earlier, you were with me. What was that?"

_There's something wrong, those were Sith cultists. They must –_

His words faded into the misty night along with his outline and she was left standing alone.

Rey's lip trembled and she fought against the prickling heat behind her eyes. This back and forth, having him for five minutes and losing him again. It was emotionally exhausting to say the least.

But she gathered herself, flicked on her saber to light her way, and followed the winding path back toward the base.

She was completely lost in thought, until something snapped in the distance. In a split second, she was on high alert, scanning the distance for the source of the noise. She spotted Rose about thirty meters down the path, lantern in hand, brows knitted in concern.

Rey only briefly considered making an excuse as to why she couldn't talk, before remembering the newfound resolve she'd found in Ben's protective arms. Besides that, there was something in Rose's earnest expression that kept her feet planted firm. Rose knew all about loss, having lost her whole family and the thing most precious to her because of this war. She knew all about how it felt when a bond was broken. Rey could talk about this with her, she could share this part of herself.

Rose closed the space between them, speaking in a tone that was kind, but firm. "I have no idea what you're going through, and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But I knew you'd still want this." She hung the lantern on her forearm, freeing both hands to present Ben's black shirt to her, handling it like one would hold a priceless, fragile relic. "And there was no way I was letting you run off at this time of night."

Rey took the fabric in her fist and pressed it against her chest, nodding. "Thank you."

Rey captured her friend in a hug with one hand, while still gripping Ben's shirt with the other. Images of everyone she'd lost flashed through her mind, and that ache was back again, that yearning to have _him_ back coupled with a crippling grief for Leia, for her parents, and everyone else they'd lost. She and Rose had both paid a terrible price for this war and Rey could sense that they would both know healing, too. Someday. It wasn't a hopeless grief they shared, but one of rebuilding.

Rey pulled away, looking down at her friend, her heart heavy with regret for how she'd behaved. "I really don't deserve you."

"Don't be ridiculous. This is what friends do."

Rey glanced back down the path toward the base. "I guess we should get back."

But Rose was towing her by the hand, guiding her to sit on a flat boulder near the path.

"Oh no," Rose said. "You aren't getting away again that easily."

Rey realized, self-consciously, that she was still desperately clutching Ben's shirt, holding it tightly to her chest.

Rose noticed her expression and smiled sadly, wrapping her own fist around the medallion she always wore around her neck. "Don't ever be embarrassed for what you do to heal. I get it, Rey."

She needed no more convincing, settling herself onto the boulder.

They shared a long, silent moment watching the mists part to reveal the moons of Ajan Kloss, one pale red, one pale blue, engaged in an eternal chase across the darkened sky.

"Will you tell me?" Rose asked.

When Rey didn't respond immediately, Rose gestured to Ben's shirt. "You wouldn't have kept that, you wouldn't be holding it like you are, if he didn't mean something to you."

Rey swallowed. "I do care – I care about him."

Rose only nodded, taking a seat on an exposed root and setting her lantern at her feet. She leaned forward and rested her chin on her hands, waiting.

"Ben Solo of course, not Kylo Ren. I know it sounds crazy, but they really were two different people."

"How so?"

"Emperor Palpatine had found a way into Ben's mind from the time he was a boy. I saw it in flashes, in memories." Rey shook her head, trying to find the words to describe their inexplicable bond. "Ben and I are connected in the Force somehow."

Rose was nodding, eyes wide as she tried to understand.

"Palpatine manipulated him, groomed him for the Dark Side through Snoke who was just another one of Palpatine's creations. Then one night at the Jedi training temple, Master Skywalker saw that darkness in Ben's mind, saw Palpatine's influence and thought about killing Ben. Ben reacted in self-defense. He felt betrayed and thought he had nowhere else to go, so he sought shelter with Snoke. That's why he became Kylo Ren."

Rose's brows knitted together. "That's definitely not what I expected."

"Me neither," she admitted.

Rey's thoughts drifted back to a moment ago, how incredibly _right_ it had felt for Ben to hold her. To lean against him and feel him so close, to remain in peace, feeling nothing but their bodies and their Bond humming with life between them. And the truth was she needed someone to know. After the way Ben made her feel, she needed to make sure everyone knew. Starting with Rose.

"I can still see him," Rey said.

Rose fingered her medallion, voice growing distant. "I still talk to Paige sometimes. I think that's normal."

Rey rubbed at her forehead, searching for words for all of this. "Not like that Rose. I mean, I can _really_ still see him. Touch him, even." Oh kriff, this sounded insane but she was in too far to stop now. "Before you got here, we… I mean, we hugged. Through the Force."

Even by the dim light of the lantern, Rey could clearly see Rose's eyebrows jump.

"Is that, I mean, is that normal? I mean with the Force, can that happen?"

Rey pressed her lips together and nodded. "It can happen. Master Skywalker appeared to me before, even Leia, but I don't know if what Ben and I have is normal."

Rose's brows knitted together and Rey could practically see the thoughts chasing each other across her face. Shock, confusion, and was that disgust? But it was gone in an instant, at least Rose was _trying_ to understand. Her features finally settled, and she spoke. "Wow, no wonder you're confused."

Rey blew out her lips. "At first, I tried to mourn. But now, I wonder if I need to be searching for something to bring him back."

Rose leaned in, lantern light casting shadows over half of her face. "You think that's possible?"

"I have to hope."

Rose smiled then, highlighting the warmth in her cheeks, the kindness in her eyes. "Good thing we've got experience building things on hope."

* * *

When Rey climbed into her bunk in the early hours of the morning, she felt comfortable for the first time in a more than a week. Those first days spent building her lightsaber had blurred together completely into a hazy fog of shock. The days on Tatooine had been twenty-four hour marathons of pure grief. But here, among friends and with Ben's short visits, she was actually living again.

She fell asleep quickly and slept late, rising as the sun's rays shone brightly onto the plant life beyond the hangar. She stood and folded Ben's shirt, trying to ignore the scent of detergent that had replaced _him,_ and rested it delicately onto her pillow. She found the fresher, tied up her hair, and dressed in white.

Rey descended the stairs down to the main level of the base feeling nearly human again, following the smells of breakfast from the mess hall.

Poe and Finn sat on one side of the table, heads together, talking and laughing over their plates. Chewie sat on the other side, looking very involved in breakfast. Finn looked up and spotted her immediately, waving her over.

This was home.

The familiar sound of gears whirring announced C3P0's arrival before his sunny voice could greet her. "Oh. There you are. Mistress Rey! Poe and Finn have invited you to breakfast!"

"Thanks, 3P0," she said, laying a hand on his shoulder joint. "I seem to have found them."

"So good to have everyone here," he twittered to himself, heading off in another direction. Rey figured he was probably heading to the hangar to fill in R2 or BB-8 about whatever news there was to be shared.

"Rey, how are you feeling?" Finn poured a cup of steaming caf and pushed it across the table to her. She inhaled the nutty aroma, an instant comfort, and sipped as Finn insisted on making a plate for her.

"Much better," she said, nodding thanks as he passed the breakfast over.

Chewie growled a comment about the incredible breakfast.

"You would not believe these cholla sausages," Finn said.

He made a show of spearing one on his fork, bringing it slowly in for a bite, and chewing with his eyes closed for full dramatic effect.

"Where's Rose?" she asked, slicing her sausages.

"Working on the X-wings in the central landing area."

Rey nodded, placing a bite of sausage on her tongue. She took her time to appreciate the spicy flavor and the way the meat released a burst of savory juice with each slow chew.

She really needed to meet this new cook.

They filled the breakfast table with conversation, talking of their friends' paths before the conversation eventually turned to Lando Calrissian and Maz Kanata's political futures.

"I'm surprised she agreed to oversee things," Poe said. "She never seemed like one to get involved with politics."

"Desperate times," Finn said. "Besides, it's only for a little while, until the Free Worlds Alliance has a backbone. Then she'll be back doing… well doing whatever it is she does.

"Tell me about what's happening on Corellia," Rey said.

Poe and Finn shared a mutual glance, likely wondering where this new interest was coming from.

"Seems some Imperial loyalists are trying to unify the remaining vessels in the First Order fleet," Poe said.

"Imperial?" Rey asked, gesturing for the sugar.

He handed her the sugar tin. "Lando has a lead on someone from Bestoon. A Sith Loyalist with ties to the old Empire."

Rey stirred a spoonful of sugar into her caf as she put the pieces together. She knew of only one Sith Loyalist from Bestoon. "But Ochi is dead."

"He is," Poe confirmed. "But he may have had a family. Or friends. Who knows."

Finn leaned over the table, tension visible in the set of his jaw as he chewed with more intensity than was truly necessary for the consumption of breakfast sausage. "That's what we need to figure out. Problem is the Free Worlds Fleet was deployed all over the galaxy after the battle of Exegol, those who were willing were sent to defend the systems most impacted by the First Order. We are spread too thin and these loyalists know it."

Rey felt something cold gnawing at the pit of her stomach despite the warmth of the caf. "What do they want?"

"I don't know exactly, but I have a bad feeling, you know?" Finn said.

"I saw something," Rey said quietly. "A vision of these Sith Loyalists."

"I think," she paused to make certain this was how she really felt. But there was no denying that vision. "I think they are looking for me."

Poe was shaking his head before Rey ever finished her sentence. "There's no way. What would they want from you?"

"Power," she said, a shiver snaking up her back. She'd heard the cloaked figures mention the Dyad, the same power that had restored Palpatine's body. And if there was any of that Bond left, these Sith Loyalists would come looking for it. "I shouldn't have come back. If I'm here, you all are in danger."

Finn was standing in a heartbeat. "No. No, Rey. You don't' get to run off again." His eyes shone with a ferocity that pushed back any arguments she could think of. Then, realizing everyone in the mess hall had turned to stare at him, he sat slowly back down. "No. We are in this together, remember?"

"He's right," Poe said. "We've already established that fact, so you can just stop this self-sacrificing bantha shit."

She divided a stony glare between her two friends, until gradually, she was able to reign in her fear and see the concern on their faces. She let her gaze soften, feeling her expression melt from icy into something more like affection. She relaxed when she saw the same feeling mirrored on their faces.

She breathed deeply, shoulders relaxing. "Alright. I need to find out why they want me, first. Which means more reading and meditating. Maybe the Force will show me more."

Finn nodded. "And we should get this information to Lando and Maz, so they can put their ears out."

"If you find out anything, you tell us." Poe's eyes were locked onto hers.

She nodded, noting that this probably would be a good time to tell them about the Dyad. But they were already pushing the bench out, standing to clear their breakfast plates.

Later.

* * *

Rey lay gasping in the dappled sunlight against her favorite tree, having just run the training course in record time, all while carrying four of the sacred texts in a pack on her back.

She pulled out her canteen, pouring a stream of cool water into her open mouth, relishing the way it soothed her dry, burning throat on the way down. She was present in this moment, not looking back or forward, as Leia had taught. Only here. Now.

As her breath slowly evened out, she found her way easily into the interconnected web of energy that was the Force.

Master Luke was there with her a moment later. His untidy hair and beard were starkly at odds with the full Jedi regalia he was wearing.

"You've learned control," he noted, stepping forward. "Maybe you can help my hopeless nephew with that. Force knows I tried for years."

Rey smiled. "I had some good teachers."

Rey felt a ripple of thanks from another warm place in the Force.

"Where is she?" Rey asked, wondering why she hadn't seen Leia since that first day on Tatooine.

"She's new to all of this," he said, gesturing to his own bluish outline, "she also pushed herself very hard to save her son, but she'll perfect it in time."

Master Luke looked up into the canopy, as though he could catch a glimpse of his sister there. When he seemed to come back to himself, he crossed the uneven ground with careful steps before locking eyes with Rey. When he was an arm's length away, he reached a hand into his robes, retrieving something she never thought she would see again.

It looked so much bigger in Master Luke's grasp than it ever had in Ben's. But then again, Luke's hands weren't nearly as large. The black hilt was a good foot long, exposed red wiring running the entire length, crossguard vents creating a fierce angle…

"Kylo Ren's lightsaber?"

Luke offered it to her, but she only stared at it.

"What would I want with that?" she asked.

His voice took on an edge of impatience. "If you're planning to fight _together_ to free him, he will need a weapon, too."

"I don't even know what we're fighting."

He narrowed his eyes, presenting the saber again.

She crossed her arms in protest. "But it's… dark. Unstable. He's not – "

Luke clicked his tongue. "Bodies aren't the only things that can be healed."

[ ](https://imgur.com/XKokBVz)

"I can't heal that crystal. I won't do it."

"You're right," he said, blue eyes blazing through the Force. "Only he can."

"From - from wherever he is? How is that possible?"

Master Luke shook his head, shaggy hair waving back and forth. "Rey, if you two can, well…" He made a humiliating mime of two index fingers coming together and touching in front of his face. "If he can _interact_ with you," he said, twisting the word, making her cheeks flush with embarrassment, "then he can focus on this."

"Where is he?" she asked, trying to deflect her embarrassment.

"I thought he'd traveled to the World Between Worlds, that's where Leia had tried to guide him in her last moments, but it seems he is still tethered by your Bond."

"What do we do?" She asked, feeling a thousand more questions bubbling up inside of her, but managing to put voice to only one.

He stared at her for long moment, expression frustratingly stoic.

"This is your journey, Rey."

She lowered her brows, glaring at the ghost of her former master. "How did I know you were going to say that?"

He offered only a wry smile in response before fading away into the Force.

Thank you to the amazing JenniferLadybug for the art!


	6. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it would take me until at least Monday or Tuesday to get this written, but I have been so motivated by your comments! I've spent my whole vacation writing! Back to work tomorrow unfortunately, but I wanted to leave you with another chapter first. Then, depending on work, expect the next update by Thursday. Thank you all for your amazing support!

As soon as Rey was sure she was alone again, she settled back against her tree and cracked open one of the texts. The pages of this tome were filled to bursting with diagrams, most of which had completely gone over her head during her first read. But she had a faint recollection, triggered by something Master Luke had said.

A World Between Worlds.

She flipped through the worn pages, searching for the diagram she remembered, studying page after page as the sun moved between the trees overhead. She pulled a packet of mealbread from her bag to quiet her growling stomach and chewed as she continued her search. She dusted crumbs from the pages, glad Master Luke wasn't there to chastise her for disrespecting these priceless artifacts of Jedi history.

Pages and pages more, until…

There.

Rey ran her fingers over the aged paper, tracing lines and angles connecting points in a sort of organized geometrical array. She read several lines of text until she found something that made sense.

_"Chain Worlds Theorum."_

"This is it, Ben. The World Between Worlds," she breathed.

His only reply was the buzzing chorus of insects and birds, going about their daily battles to survive.

"But how do we get there?"

She flipped another page. It detailed theories of the Vergence Scatter, another name for this interconnected world beyond. It seemed these Jedi of long ago had postulated that if one could access this world, they would have complete control over space and time, choosing to follow paths to alter history or travel to another dimension in time.

Something shifted at the core of her spirit. A tingling awareness of belonging and connection, like two pieces of a puzzle fitting perfectly together again.

And with that feeling came his voice, _That's it._

Ben's breath was warm on her neck as he spoke. The sensation caused a shiver of pleasure to ripple through her which she tried to hide. Why did her traitorous body have to react so strongly to him? They really just needed to _talk._

_But I can't get through. There's something else there, blocking my path._

"The darkness you sensed."

He grunted his assent.

She flipped through more indecipherable explanations, until she reached a sprawling two-page diagram detailing a gnarled, twisting tree, its branches spreading across both pages. The Great Tree, whose roots are said to peer into the World Between Worlds.

But she didn't need to peer into it, she wanted to _go_ there, to help Ben get there, or _something_. Kriff, she didn't even know what she was looking for. She continued skimming, noticing connections between several worlds, Lothal, Ahch-To, even Exegol. But there was no information about how to gain access to this space between worlds.

"Has anyone been there?" she asked.

_Luke mentioned several Jedi who have travelled there._

"Any names?"

 _Luke give helpful information?_ He huffed. _He only said that few had managed it._

Rey pulled out the next to continue their search. Just a clue about where to begin.

As they studied, she remained keenly aware of Ben's presence. He was so close she could hear the steady whisper of his breath. She could sometimes sense his gaze falling upon her. And though his outline was very faint, she occasionally felt the brush of an arm or sleeve against her own as he leaned forward to study something on a page.

  


The sun was falling lower still, when, now on the third book, she came upon something more useful. She read out loud for both of them to hear:

_"Another early example of a Force Bond was one forged between Jedi Bastila Shan and the Sith Lord Darth Revan. The Jedi council sent Shan to capture the Sith Lord, but during the battle Revan was betrayed by Darth Malak and left on the verge of death. Remembering the Jedi way, to preserve life wherever possible, Shan saved Revan and a powerful Force Bond was forged."_

Rey studied the simple illustration of the pair, light and dark colors exemplifying their opposite natures, though they were pictured hand in hand. Nothing more was written on this page about this early Force Bond, but Rey was still curious.

Ben's voice rumbled low in her ear, answering her unspoken question. _I've heard this legend,_ he said, assuming the dramatic voice of a storyteller. _Bastila Shan healed Revan and brought him back to the Light, but was eventually seduced by the Dark Side herself. When Shan and Revan finally faced each other in battle, it was Revan who brought Shan back in the end, by showing her that he trusted her completely. He left himself open to her attack, confessing his love for her._

Rey turned away from the drawing, focusing on their Bond, willing Ben's form to appear. Ben joined her focus, reciprocating through the Force. She wanted to look on his face as he told the end of the story.

His outline sharpened and she could see he was completely focused on her, the intensity of his gaze bringing immediate heat to her cheeks, as he continued on. _Shan realized she could never do Revan harm, and she confessed her feelings for him._

Rey tried to control her breathing as she stared into his eyes. "What happened to them?"

His lip twitched into that little half-smile of his. _Together they turned the tide of the battle._ Then, as though an afterthought, he added, _And they lived happily ever after of course._

Ben turned his body face to her, his dark eyes reflecting the mottled sunset as it filtered through the leaves. He leaned in closer, looking like he would say more and Rey felt her breath hitch. She was unable to move, unable to look anywhere but his eyes, his lips. Here was her chance to show him what he meant to her and not just because he had saved her, but because she truly cared for him. She wanted to feel his lips against hers. She wanted to _taste_ him.

Her entire body was screaming for him to touch her.

He scooped up her hand and placed it in his lap intertwining his fingers with hers. Some of the tension bled into their touch, but she could still hear her pulse thundering in her ears, her body announcing that it wanted more than just his hands. And when he began tracing gentle lines on her palms, her fingers, the back of her hand, she wasn't sure how much more she could take. Her chest was contracting, filling with what felt like fire and she just needed to…

His lips found hers in a desperate, crushing kiss that spoke plainly of his pent-up desire. His need, a wild urgency, surged from him down the Bond and she was overcome by the intensity of it. Like Revan, this was _his_ confession and he was kissing her again, harder and deeper, with a fanatical type of want that she'd never known was possible. And she wanted more.

She knotted her fists in his robes and drew him closer, kissing him harder still, leaving no questions about the confession she was making in return. His insistent mouth parted her lips, leaving her lost in the sensation of him. She tried to breathe, but found that tasting him again, just one more time was much more important than air.

A low groan came from the back of his throat, announcing what she couldn't speak. More. Closer.

And he was pulling her onto his lap, cradling her against his arm so they fit together perfectly. The Bond was singing with their contact, emotions coursing between them, and she wasn't sure which ones he was feeling and which were hers.

It didn't matter. They were one and the same.

Ben pulled back, leaving his hand to cup her cheek as he studied her from inches away. His lips were reddened, cheeks flushed with their kiss, and those adorable smile lines were etched at the corners of his eyes.

_If this is all we ever get, it will have been worth it._

She reached up to his face, running her thumb over his bottom lip like she'd wanted to yesterday. His shoulders dipped and tightened as a shiver ran through him. She saw his body's reaction at the same time she felt it through their Bond.

She didn't want to ruin this moment with words, so she let the intensity of her gaze be her response to his tender profession, taking a handful of his hair and pulling him back into her.

Leaning in, she captured his mouth gently this time, showing him the soft, unrelenting affection she thought would give voice to the feelings crowding her heart. If their first kiss was demanding, this one was effortless. Each caress of his lips was an unspoken lesson, teaching her just how thoroughly he ruled her heart. Each taste of him lured her deeper into a closeness she couldn't understand and could never explain.

  


She was breathless when their lips parted again, and keenly aware of a tightening pressure at the core of her that begged for more of his skin against hers. It gave her a thrill to see him flushed and panting for her, too.

Feelings screamed down their Bond now, louder than they'd ever been. A chorus of desire that only they could hear and that was very hard to ignore. Difficult as it was, she attempted to put some space between them, pulling herself from his lap and sitting cross-legged opposite him. They needed to talk and with her heart hammering to the rhythm of his body, that was proving to be impossible.

 _Rey._ His voice was low, husky, and a new shock of need blossomed inside of her. She sensed he would say more if he could, but his voice wasn't working properly. Instead, he leaned in a bit, tucking a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. His fingers left tingles on her skin, her body begging him for more.

"I feel it, too," she admitted, her own voice coming hoarse.

_Do you remember the first time you felt it?_

She would never forget. "You had me strapped to an interrogation chair."

 _What I wouldn't give to have you there again._ And there was that adorably crooked smirk again.

She squirmed uncomfortably, trying to ignore the persistent heat he'd ignited inside of her that would not be extinguished.

_It was like seeing into this moment for a millisecond. A shock of this feeling, but all at once._

Rey remembered. And now, hearing him talk to her like this. Talking about his feelings for her, showing her his emotions when for so long they had both tried to hold it all back. She would not lose this. It was not an option. It gave her a newfound sense of urgency, and she stood, crossing to her bag where she'd stowed his lightsaber.

"We are going to fight for this," she said, "for us." She slid the weapon from her bag and held it out to Ben.

She could have been holding a venomous snake for the way he startled when he saw it.

His throat bobbed with a hard swallow. _I threw that into the sea._

"Master Luke wants you to have it."

He scowled as she extended the hilt toward him, shadows of the faltering evening sunlight accentuating his dark, angular features as he studied it. He had such an uncommon handsomeness to him, an attractive uniqueness that forced her to look when he spoke, when he moved. Another shock of desire tore through her veins again and she wondered if she would ever stop wanting to kiss him now that she'd had a taste.

He rose to face her, brows twisted in confusion, staring at the saber, then back at her. Then, a dawning expression of understanding relaxed his features. _I have to start again, heal the crystal and rebuild it._

She nodded and he took it, turning it over and over in his hands.

 _Will you hold it for me?_ He asked, offering it back to her again. _I'm not sure I can keep it with me._

"Of course," she said, letting her hand linger on his as she took the saber. "I think we are getting better at this, look how long you've stayed with me." She cleared her throat, trying to sound more in control. "Next time, I'll have the materials and tools set out for you. And you can start working on the crystal."

_Thank you._

Her heart thudded in her chest as the jungle birds cried their final calls into the twilight.

"What's our next step?" she asked.

He raised his eyebrows before closing the space between them. _I can think of a few steps I'd like to take._

He kissed her again, this time not lingering long at her mouth, but instead grazing his lips across her cheek and coming to rest against her neck, breathing heavily into her ear. Her skin erupted in gooseflesh, and in an instant, that heat was back in her belly.

Oh stars, he was getting better at this. And bolder.

"I meant about the World Between Worlds," she said, voice strangled between gasps.

He hummed against her skin, sending new tingles coursing down to her toes.

"You are impossible, Ben Solo."

A deep chuckle resonated in his chest and now, his hands were joined in the assault, perching on her hips first, then exploring the small of her back as his lips worked at her collar bone.

"Ben," she breathed, trying to infuse her voice with an edge of seriousness.

He sighed. _The book mentioned the Great Tree._ His hot breath ignited the skin at her neck as he spoke. _If anything, it's a lead. Or go ask Maz, that woman is a thousand years old. She'll know something about it._

Rey ran her hands over his robed forearms and up to his shoulders. "This suits you," she admitted, fingering the edge of his hood. "You look so, official."

His lip twitched. _At least I got something out of this deal._ And there it was, the full, toothy grin she'd longed for. It wrinkled the corners of his eyes and his dimples were just where she'd remembered them. _But I am sorry to announce that it seems you were not the Last Jedi after all._

"For about 30 seconds," she said, trying her best at a deadpan delivery.

She cracked a smile when he shoved her playfully. And Rey realized, this was what she'd been grieving for. She'd been mourning the loss of moments like this, getting to know the Ben Solo she'd seen and felt through the Bond. And now, the Force had given them a second chance.

"Rey!"

She tensed, snatching her hands back from Ben's as her name came floating over the treetops.

It was Rose's voice first, then Finn's "Where are you?"

"Ben, you have to go, they're coming," she said in a tense whisper.

He gave her an injured look. _Let them come. They can't see me anyway._

And the arrogant son of Han Solo trapped her in another kiss, just to prove a point. With her raw desire for him still so close to the surface, Rey didn't have the self-control to deny him.

A rush of alarm echoed somewhere nearby in the Force, and she turned to see her friends standing not too far down the path. Rose and Poe were smiling, glad to see her.

But Finn.

Finn's eyes were wide with shock. Like he'd seen…

A ghost.

And then Finn was sprinting towards them, pulling his blaster free from its holster, pointing it at Ben's outline.

Ben put his hands up in a gesture of surrender, before awkwardly realizing a blaster bolt couldn't make him any more dead, and lowered them. He glanced back and forth between Rey and Finn as realization dawned on his face. _Oh Force, you've got to be kidding._ He _can see me?_

"Yes, I can see you!" Finn was yelling, hand shaking as he gripped the blaster, searching Rey's face for a sign of what to do.

"Finn," she said. "Put that thing away."

"What the hell are you doing, Finn?" Poe caught up to him, prying the blaster out of his friend's hand.

Rey imagined what it must look like to Poe and Rose, who couldn't see Ben at all.

As Poe continued to hold him back, Finn divided a hard stare between Rey and Ben, trying to understand what he was seeing.

"What the hell were you doing, Rey?" Finn asked, incredulously. "You said you understood him. Not that you, that you… What the hell Rey? You were kissing a dead guy!"

Poe and Rose froze into the same stance. A perfect parody of shock on each of their faces. "Wait, what?" Poe asked.

"Not just any dead guy," Finn answered, pointing to the space Ben was occupying. "That's _Kylo Ren."_

* * *

Thank you [JenniferLadyBug](https://jenniferladybug.tumblr.com) for the art!


	7. Raava

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year Reylo family! I'm a day early with the update. Yay! You guys are seriously amazing. Thank you again for each and every comment, they put a smile on my face and keep me plugging away. Writing is so much a battle for finding and keeping the motivation flowing, and you are all seriously helping with that.
> 
> The heat is dialed back a little here to allow us to fan ourselves a bit, but don't worry… more to come 😉 Next update by Sunday.

Rey was thankful for Ben's silence as she tried to find the best way to diffuse the situation.

"The last time I saw you," Finn said, now settling for pointing his finger at Ben, since Poe had snatched away his blaster, "You were trying to kill her!"

_I was never trying to kill her._

"Like hell you weren't! You were swinging a damned lightsaber at her!"

Rey put a hand up, trying to stop the argument while struggling to keep her own voice calm. "Ben had me beaten on Kef Bir but didn't strike me down. I was the aggressor. And I regret it."

She couldn't look at Ben as she spoke those words. She was not ready to face the shame of that moment quite yet and was glad when Finn moved on quickly.

"Okay, that's all well and good," Finn said, gesticulating wildly. "But he's still Kylo Ren. Supreme Leader of the First Order, Rey!"

She rubbed her temples in frustration. "Were you even listening when I told you what really happened on Exegol? This is _not_ Kylo Ren. This is Ben Solo!"

Poe stepped into the fray with an expression of utter exasperation. "Excuse me, sorry to interrupt here… but I still can't see anyone except two of my friends who have completely lost their minds."

Finn ignored the comment. He was standing eerily still, fists clenched, glaring at Ben's ghostly blue outline. "What are you doing here?"

 _I'm not doing anything, I'm –_ Rey cut him off quickly, not trusting him to carry this conversation to a calm destination.

"Ben hasn't done anything that I haven't asked him to do," she said.

Poe and Rose shared confused looks, with Rose finally speaking up. "Wait, Kylo … err, Ben Solo is here?" she asked, then turned to Finn to answer her second question. "And you can see him?"

Finn nodded tensely, his icy stare thawing a bit under their questioning gaze. "I've been trying to tell you for days, Rey," he said. "I feel, I can feel things. I think I've been feeling the Force."

"Perfect," Rey said with a desperate sigh. "This is not how I wanted this to go."

"What did you expect, a welcome party for him?" Finn had his arms crossed now, still glaring.

"Can someone _please_ explain what the hell is going on here?" Poe looked to the empty space that Finn seemed to be glaring at. "Let me rephrase that, can someone I can see please explain?"

Rey sucked in a deep breath, grabbing for Ben's hand for support and started in on the explanation she should have given them all from the beginning. Ben Solo had sacrificed himself to save her. They were two halves of one whole, a Dyad in the Force. And after Ben's death, it became clear that he wasn't really gone. He was stuck somewhere, in a place between life and death, but their Bond anchored him nearby, allowing him short visits as a Force Ghost. He is physically able to interact with her and the world for short periods of time and since it seems Finn is Force sensitive, he is able to see Ben, too.

"I think these remaining Sith Loyalists may be after the power our Dyad can bring. I just have no idea what they want it for."

When she finished the explanation, she was out of breath, leaving her three friends staring open-mouthed, a tight-lipped Ben still gripping her hand.

  


"Okay, but that doesn't explain why you were _kissing_ him!" Finn snapped.

"Come on, Finn," Rose said, laying a hand on his arm.

He ripped out of her grasp. "No, I want to hear what she has to say!"

But Rey was livid now. Ben Solo had died for her and Finn refused to even _respect_ his sacrifice. "I don't need to explain myself to you!" Her voice echoed off the enormous tree trunks surrounding them, causing a few roosting birds to burst from the nearby foliage in search of a calmer perch.

She recognized the rage coursing through her and a cold chill crawled across her skin. It caused her to step back, away from everyone to collect herself. Before… well, before something happened.

She felt a tiny soothing ripple of Force from the Bond, a warmth to thaw the chill of the dark side. She didn't need to be reminded of how close it lingered to the surface of her emotions. But Ben was there, with her now, continuing to send comfort. He understood. He had _always_ understood.

After a few calming breaths she returned, clasping Ben's hand again and looking out at her friend's questioning faces.

She didn't have to explain herself to Finn, no, but Ben deserved to be spoken for. She cleared her throat, found some control over her voice, and offered the explanation Ben deserved. "I care about him." She was going to stop there, but when she stole a sidelong glance at Ben and saw the way his eyes had softened, she kept going. "And yes, I was kissing him. If that is a problem, let's talk about it now."

She felt a swell of pride crash through the Force and she didn't miss the self-satisfied expression on Ben's face.

Poe, Rose, and Finn stood completely still for a moment.

It was Rose who finally broke the tense silence. "Where is he?" she asked.

Rey pointed to where Ben stood at her side, clutching her hand. Rose approached and straightened her shoulders before speaking into the space she thought he was occupying. "Thank you for bringing our friend back to us."

A peace offering.

Ben smiled faintly. _I couldn't image living with half of a soul._ He looked down at Rey with such an expression of longing, she had to swallow against the emotion clamping down on her throat.

"He said – "

Rey began to translate, but Finn cut in, "He said, 'I couldn't imagine living with half of a soul.'" Finn's scowl had tempered noticeably by the time he'd finished repeating Ben's words.

"I'm not sure this could get any more awkward," Poe said.

"You're the ones making this awkward," Rose said with a fire in her tone. "Rey wants us to trust Ben. And I trust Rey. End of story."

"Okay, but you weren't tortured by the guy," Poe said, crossing his arms.

"And almost killed by him," Finn added under his breath.

Rey shot the two of them a look as sharp as a Sith dagger. "Leia's final act was to appear to Ben, to help him find this World Between Worlds, so he could have a hope of coming back. _She_ never gave up on him."

A low blow to bring up Leia, but it deflated their tempers, the anger and disgust melting away from their expressions.

But Rey wasn't finished yet. She shared what she'd told Rose last night, of Palpatine's manipulation since Ben was a child. Of the unfortunate events of Luke's temple, of how Ben felt he had nowhere to go but to Snoke, and she repeated the details of Leia's last attempt to reach her son, and how Ben had listened. Without him, they would all have been destroyed by Palpatine.

It was completely dark now and Rey flicked on her lightsaber to see her friend's reactions.

"I'm still not sure someone like him deserves a second chance, no matter what Leia thought." Poe's voice was hopelessly unforgiving as he pulled his flashlight from his belt.

A vibration, like a plucked string pulled at their Bond and Rey knew what that meant.

Finn stepped closer to Ben, standing face to face now. Rey felt herself tense as she watched him eye Ben up and down. Ben stood tall, but kept his face neutral as he stared back. Finally, Finn spoke. "If the Force has chosen him to carry out its plan, then maybe we should see how this plays out."

Rey let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She offered Poe an expectant look, wanting see how this proclamation had affected him, but she was distracted by the sudden loss of Ben's warmth. When she looked down at her hand, it was empty and Ben was gone.

She should be happy he'd been with her for so long. Hours this time, but still, the feeling of the Bond being torn apart was hard to bear. It was the lack of control that was the most difficult in all of this.

Finn's expression changed from grudging acceptance to confusion in seconds. "Where did he go?"

Rey twisted at the fabric of her armbands, trying not to think too hard about how long it might be until she saw him again. "This is how it's been. We get only moments together, before the Force rips him away again."

Finn chewed the inside of his lip as he studied her deflated expression. "Rey," he said, shoulders heaving in a sigh, "I'm sorry. I do trust you, I really do. And if you care about… about Ben. Then we'll figure out how to help you." His voice still carried an edge of reluctance, but it was a start.

He glanced at Rose, who was nodding eagerly, and Poe, who looked slightly less enthused, but possibly willing to be dragged along into this.

"We do this together," Finn said, echoing a promise from days ago when they'd embarked on a different adventure.

Finn extended his arms, and she walked into them easily. Of course, she would forgive him, they'd come so far and at least he was trying to understand.

As the three walked back toward the hangar, she elbowed Finn in the side, trying to change the subject away from Ben. "So when were you planning on telling me about, you know?"

"I tried, it just never seemed like the right time."

Poe stopped in front of them on the path, slapping his hands against his knees. "Is _that_ what you were going to tell her when we were in the sinking sands? Damn, that's been bothering me for a week."

A collective laugh rippled through the group, putting them at ease as they finished the walk back to the base.

* * *

Rey had finished dinner and helped her friends wrap up the day's duties. It was late by the time she moved to the main hangar where Chewie was tinkering around the underbelly of a particularly testy A-wing. The Wookiee had been quiet since Leia had passed, and was grieving the only way he knew how, by falling into his work.

Rey, Finn, Rose, and Poe were gathered around, lounging on crates and overturned buckets, sharing a bottle of Chandrilan Raava that one of the Free Worlds had sent as a thank you. Rey had hoped to avoid any more talk of Ben for the rest of the night, allowing them to settle into a comfortable acceptance before she broached the subject again. So far, she'd been successful, with the conversation now turning back to Finn's revelation about being able to sense the Force.

"I thought it was just you, I was sensing. You know, a best friend thing," he said, smiling and holding up his cup in salute. "But when I could feel Ren coming for you on Pasaana, I knew there was more to it."

Poe nodded, taking another sip from his own cup. "I wonder sometimes if the Force has guided me, too. It always feels like so much of what I do in the cockpit is instinct, but maybe there's more to it than that."

This was the first time she'd ever heard Poe Dameron acknowledge something abstract, something beyond his own skill as a pilot.

Rose was nodding along. "I've always felt like there was some kind of plan to all this." And Rey didn't miss the way she ran her fingers along the edge of her medallion.

They were enjoying each other's company, each other's friendship, and it felt _good_. She only wished Ben could be here, too. And she couldn't help but wonder if, over time, he would build friendships too.

Her chest tightened with longing, not realizing how important it was to her that he had that chance.

She took another swig of the Raava. It was sweet and hot going down, warming her insides and loosening her tongue.

"Have you guys ever heard of the Great Tree?" she asked, not bothering to segue smoothly into the new topic.

Chewie growled a response from below the ship's belly, rolling out from under the A-wing to join the conversation. "Large tree near Kerritamba Village. Sacred."

"No, I don't think it's the one on Kashyyyk," Rey said. "The text mentioned a Force-sensitive tree, whose roots could peer into the World Between Worlds."

Poe perked up suddenly, eyes wide. "The Great Tree huh?" he said, "You know, that damned tree's caused me a scat-load of trouble, if we're being completely honest."

A mischievous smile spread across his face as he basked in their obvious shock. Rey had to admit, she wasn't actually expecting anyone to knowabout the tree.

Poe took a sip of Raava through smug lips and started in on his story. "They're also called Uneti trees. One used to grow on Coruscant, at the center of the Jedi Temple before it was destroyed. Luke Skywalker managed to find a fragment of the tree that the Empire had kept hidden. He and my mom retrieved the cutting and planted it in our front yard. It's probably still there on Yavin IV."

Finn's disbelieving look made Rey laugh at loud.

"I'm not kidding. I had to nurse that thing back to health when I was a kid after an unfortunate accident with a couple of jury-rigged pod-racing engines."

Rose leaned forward with the raise of an eyebrow. "Nearly burning down an ancient, Force-sensitive tree after enacting some dangerously hare-brained plan?" She shook her head in mock disbelief. "Doesn't sound like you at all."

This time they all laughed and Poe raised his glass in a silent request for a toast. "To more hare-brained schemes."

Chewie growled his agreement.

"Many more," Rey said, raising her own glass as the other's echoed the toast.

After they drank to Poe's toast and their laughs had settled down a bit, Finn asked the question they were probably all thinking. "What do we need this Great Tree for?"

"In one of the Jedi texts, there are some passages about the tree being a way to peer into the World Between Worlds," she said. "There may be a way to get Ben back. But it's not just that. Ben senses something dark and Master Luke had a feeling a fight was coming. Something is wrong and it might all be related."

The drink seemed to be hitting Finn as his voice had shot up a few volume levels. "And today you just happened to read a passage about how the Great Tree could be of some help, and Poe just happened to have this same tree planted in his front yard?" Finn looked up, as if speaking to the universe. "Tell me the Force isn't real!"

Rose nodded in agreement, but Poe seemed especially interested in the bottom of his drink, swirling it around and staring at the contents. He repeated this process, alternating swirling and staring, swirling and staring until suddenly, he slammed the cup down on a nearby toolbox and leaned forward. "I can't believe I'm going to do this. But, I owe this to Leia. If the Force wants us to help her son, maybe we should."

Better late than never, Rey thought. Instead, she bit back the comment and thanked him gracefully.

He mumbled into his cup and downed the last of his Raava. "I guess it helps that I won't be able to see him."

"I wish I had that luxury," Finn muttered, taking another long draught.

Rey shifted uncomfortably. So much for avoiding the Ben subject for the night.

"You guys, come on. Can't you see how awkward this is for Rey?" Rose said. "You're talking about him like she's not even here."

Rey waved the comments away. "It's okay, Rose. I get it. He's done some terrible things."

"Yes, but you said it was Palpatine in his head the whole time." She shot the two men a disappointed look. "At least you two could give him a chance to prove himself. You of all people should understand second chances. And it's obvious she cares about him."

They both softened under Rose's hard gaze and the truth of what she was saying.

"I just don't get it, Rey," Finn said, looking genuinely confused. "Why him?"

She took several seconds to choose the words, recognizing that this would be important. If she wanted them to understand how she felt about Ben, she had to get this right.

"You know that feeling you get, Finn?" she began. "That little tingle inside when you can sense you are on the right path?"

He nodded. "Yeah?"

"Imagine if that feeling was bigger, more demanding. Imagine if the feeling was intensely magnetic, and you knew the Force itself was pulling you toward a particular person. Showing you flashes of this person's memories, their feelings, desires. Creating an insatiable need to be _close_ to this person in every way."

Finn swallowed hard. His frown lines had begun to smooth, and his eyes had grown pensive. Finally, he was starting to understand.

" _That_ is what it's like to be one half of a Dyad," she said. "To be bonded to someone in the Force. And that is why I need to get him back."

Finn's frustration had now dissolved completely into an expression of muted awe. "Woah, Rey. That's heavy stuff."

Rose shook her head slowly in reverential disbelief. "Like Force soulmates or something?"

It seemed they were all lost in thought, gazing out over the empty hangar into the jungle night. It was Poe who broke the spell, raising his eyebrow and offering a wicked-looking grin. "Woah, so have you guys, ummm…"

Rey rubbed the side of her face, trying and failing to hide her burning cheeks.

"Oh for gravity's sake, Poe. Give it a rest," Rose snapped.

"I haven't had nearly enough Raava to have this conversation," Finn said.

But they were all peering at her over the rims of their cups. Did they actually want her to answer?

"No," she said, but when they continued to stare, she repeated herself again with more force, closing the discussion. "No!"

Rose shook her head, a small smile pulling at one lip, and Poe was chuckling to himself.

"Well, we should figure out our next move, anyway," Finn said, gracefully attempting to change the subject.

Rey was happy to oblige. "My other thought was to talk to Maz," she said, feeling the warmth in her face gradually fade as she spoke. "Maybe she knows something more about the World Between Worlds."

Poe drummed his fingers against his empty cup. "I think she's staying close to Corellia at the moment, trying whatever she can to avoid an all-out war in the system."

"Does this mean we have a new mission?" Finn said, mouth upturned into a hopeful smile.

"Investigate this Great Tree and if we've got no leads there, get to Maz," Poe confirmed.

Rose stood, placing her hands on her hips as though they were leaving right this second. "And this time I'm going with you guys."

Rey smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

* * *

Thank you again to [JenniferLadyBug](https://jenniferladybug.tumblr.com) for the art. I cannot stop staring.


	8. Ghost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your encouraging comments and reactions to this story have been amazing and I've been so motivated to keep cranking out chapters for you all. Bonus chapter today, yay! I'm hoping to still have the next one by Sunday. Thank you so much for every comment and especially for those of you spreading the word about this fic. I am honored to be part of this wonderful fandom 😊
> 
> I planned this chapter in my head as I left the movie theater on December 18th. I told my husband I wanted to write the Reylo version of the pottery scene from the movie Ghost. Which is so funny because I've had a few comments related to that already, so other people must be feeling those vibes, too. If you want the full Ghost experience, wait until you read Ben's line "Don't let me interrupt what you were doing," put on the song "Unchained Melody," and crank up the volume.

Rey woke early to begin preparations for their trip to Yavin IV. Unfortunately, the Falcon was not in flying shape and needed some work before they'd be ready to travel. Poe also had some things to attend to today, namely organizing a small crew for Maz who needed some back-up on Corellia.

Chewie kept Rey company as they worked on the Falcon's hyperdrive. Poe had done a serious number on the poor ship with his lightspeed skipping, and though they'd made some hasty repairs a few days ago, the ship was in need of some real attention.

The Wookiee rumbled a curse at the fried wiring harness.

"I know, it's a mess," she agreed.

She sighed, wishing to be on with this mission already. If she had something to do, a goal in mind, she could stop thinking about _him._ She felt foolish for letting him consume her thoughts, but she'd never kissed anyone before, never wanted to, really. Until now. Now she couldn't stop daydreaming about him, his voice in her ear, his hands on her hips as he held her close, his lips, his smell, his taste. Oh kriff, she was staring at the wall again, not sure how much time had passed.

When she looked back up at Chewie, he was studying her. "You think more of Solo Pup than fixing Falcon."

She'd never heard Chewbacca talk of Ben, only seen his anger as it was directed at Kylo Ren. She was amused to hear the name he had for him in Shriiwook. Sometimes translating from the Wookiee language to Galactic Basic was problematic, but this time, it was kind of adorable.

"Maybe," she admitted, shifting uncomfortably and feigning interest in a charred pair of capacitors.

His perceptiveness had always been unsettling. He could read humans very well for someone of a different species. She figured it was because he had so many years of experience. And lying to him was pointless, he would see right through her.

Chewie growled another, even more jarring question. "You love Solo Pup?"

She dropped her hydrospanner.

Chewie cocked his head in an expression of amusement.

"I…" she started speaking with no idea where her words would take her. "I… no… our, what we have, its way more complicated than that. I mean, we were enemies for over a year and this is… it's too new."

She was babbling now and Chewie's shrewd gaze was not helping.

"Humans overthink." He growled deeply to add an edge of impatience and pointed his strap wrench at her in accusation. "You defend Solo Pup. You understand Solo Pup. You desire Solo Pup." He shrugged. "You love Solo Pup."

Wookiees were so forward with things like this and she… well she wasn't. She could argue the point further, but it seemed safer to feign interest in something else. Lowering her head to peer around a loose panel, she reached in to peel away a melted casing.

"Solo Pup was funny. Brave," his growl was muted, almost whimsical. "Curious about every small thing."

Chewie's memories of a young Ben brought a smile to her lips.

Then, an angrier howl reverberated in the small space. "Killing father. Hard to forgive."

Chewie was being honest with her and his conflict about Ben was undertstandable. They'd never really talked about what had happened to Han, but she was sure the wound he'd left behind would never fully heal.

"You're right. It was horrible," she said. "Palpatine had Ben so twisted in the Dark Side he didn't even resemble that brave, curious boy you remember. But you'd be proud, Chewie, of the way he fought for what was right at the end."

A triple barking reply indicated a feeling of hope for the future for which there were no words in Galactic Basic.

"I hope you're right," she said.

* * *

They worked through the day, with Rose bringing them lunch and then staying to help with the hyperdrive. But as the sun began to set behind the base, it was clear that they wouldn't be leaving for Yavin IV until at least tomorrow.

Rey was prying a particularly rough looking heat diverter from the scorched remains of its rigging when she felt that familiar tug at her core.

A smile pulled at her lips and she stood scanning the hall, waiting quietly, not wanting to miss his greeting, or the first touch of his hand on hers when he appeared.

A bolt of frozen lightning cinched around that sacred thread connecting her to Ben and she was thrown to her knees. The icy punch of it sucked the air from her lungs as she landed hard against the floor of the Falcon. She gripped her chest with one hand, trying to breathe, trying to slow the dizzying spin of the world around her as she was drawn into a pitch black infinite space, cut through with white, geometric paths spanning out into oblivion.

She reached out through the Force, calling for Ben to help, trying to follow the Bond to whatever was holding her here, struggling to free herself from the claws digging deep into her chest.

A face. A human face that wasn't whole narrowed his eyes at her as he emerged from nothing, his prosthetic jaw limited the extent of his emotional expression to a single feeling – anger. Blue-black tattoos ran vertically along his scalp and his eyes were hard and cold. And he wasn't alone.

Farther down the path, Rey saw glimpses of several shadowy forms, spectral fingers all pulling at the Bond and she could feel the strength of that golden thread fraying now, feel the veins of darkness weaken the tether as these… _things_ ripped into it. Another hooded figure, this one with a skeletal white half-mask with open eye sockets, turned to stare as he ignited a red lightsaber and began his slow approach. And she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt, they were Sith.

Suddenly, her vision tunneled, and she was lying flat on the Falcon's steel floor, chest heaving with panicked breaths, sweat beading on her forehead.

Rose was kneeling over her, pale with worry, shaking her from her stupor. "Rey? What happened?"

She choked out a response, "A vision."

Chewie held a furry arm out to help her up, barking a request to tell them what happened.

"Sith… I thought they died with Palpatine," Rey was shaking her head, rubbing her forehead with trembling fingers, trying to get this to make sense. "But they were there, in my vision."

"Are you sure? Could you have seen something from the past?"

"I don't know."

Rose laid a comforting hand on her shoulder and stayed with her until Rey assured her she was fine. They both went back to finishing the repairs, but there was a tension in her shoulders that wasn't there before. She'd thought once they'd destroyed Palpatine that the Sith would be gone. And as much as she'd love to think that vision was from the past, she wasn't so sure. Not with everything else going on. Rey was glad for something to do, something to repair, as it helped keep her from falling into her own mind too much.

It was getting late when she and Rose started cleaning up and gathering their tools to meet Chewie at the front of the ship.

"Have you seen _him_ today?" Rose asked, trying to be casual as she sealed a control panel and collected a few fallen screws from their work area.

Rey shook her head, trying, and failing to appear optimistic.

"I don't blame him," she said, trying to add some levity to the situation. "After the reception he got last night."

Rey forced a smile for Rose's sake.

"And no more weird visions?" Rose asked.

She shook her head. "Thank goodness. I'm going to go get cleaned up," Rey said, looking down at her greasy hands.

"See you at dinner?"

"I'm not too hungry," she said. "I'll probably just have a quick ration packet in my room and go to bed."

"Alright Rey," she said, unable to keep the worry from her eyes. "Let me know if you need anything."

* * *

Rey made a visit to the fresher before heading back to her room. Once there, she realized she still wasn't all that hungry yet. And she wasn't tired. She was feeling… off.

And she couldn't stop thinking about _him_. About her conversation with Chewie. About how cruel it was that the dark side of the Force could pull on the Bond, that private connection that was supposed to be between her and Ben only. The fact that it had led to visions of the Sith made her feel sick.

She sank down on the bed and lifted Ben's shirt from the pillow. Gripping the fabric in one hand, she focused on that connection, trying to will him to come to her. But it was as though the Bond had never existed. It was completely cut off as it had been on Tatooine.

She pressed her lips tight together and threw the shirt on over her head. It was big enough to be a dress on her, so she wore it that way. She was tempted to crawl in bed and just lie there but remembered her promise to help Ben. She would not stop trying until she had him back.

If he wasn't able to come to her today, then she would do something thoughtful for him. She crossed from the bed to the table in the corner where she'd collected an array of materials for rebuilding Ben's lightsaber, pliers and wire strippers, diatum power cells, energy modulators, and other odds and ends. She was just waiting on Ben to appear to get to work. Only he hadn't come today.

She took a breath, banishing the prickling heat of tears, and strode across the room, sitting down on one the stools she'd arranged around the table. Kylo Ren's weapon lay untouched at the center of the workstation, gleaming under the bright work lights. She could at least get started dismantling it for him. It would give her something to do anyway.

She lifted the saber from the table, revealing a puddle where it had lain. The whole weapon was waterlogged. She'd have to disassemble it and dry out the parts before he'd be able to put it back together. Turning the weapon over in her hands, she stared at the build in disbelief. Why he'd decided to haphazardly add wiring to the outside of the hilt was beyond her. The whole assembly seemed unstable, just as liable to explode in the wielder's hand than cut down an enemy. It was the product of a man so conflicted, he didn't care much about self-preservation, so she guessed symmetry was the least of his worries.

She twisted the hand grip, dismantling the hilt to discover that the inner casing was tarnished with a layer of muck. She shouldn't be surprised since the thing was sitting at the bottom of an ocean for a few days. But she'd need some de-greasing soap and a brush if she had any chance of cleaning up these parts to reuse.

With her mind on a project, she was already feeling more energetic. She ran downstairs, grabbed the degreaser, a brush, and a basin full of water and returned to her room to finish the cleaning.

She squeezed a glob of sticky bluish soap between two hands and used the small brush to de-muck the casing. She wasn't sure if the electronics were all fried from being underwater, but she separated them from the outer shell of the saber and set them aside to dry. She would find out soon enough.

_You were supposed to wait for me._

The moment he spoke, it was as if her body _had_ been waiting for him, building up to this moment all day. His voice was soft against her ear and in an instant, her skin was alive with electricity.

"It's," she swallowed against the thickness in her throat, "it's so late, I didn't think you'd be able to make it today."

"The darkness is growing, making it harder to find you," he admitted.

"I know. I had a vision."

_Me too._

"We'll find out more tomorrow, we're going to the Great Tree."

_Your friends agreed to help?_

"They did."

He hummed acknowledgement and she could sense him leaning closer.

 _Don't let me interrupt what you were doing._ His breath was warm, tickling the hairs at the back of her neck.

Wanting to feel more of him than just his breath, she closed her eyes and willed his Force to take shape. She felt him reach out at the other end of the Bond and his outline took on a more solid form behind her.

She tried to turn to face him, but he held her gently by the shoulders, settling her neatly in his embrace with her back to his chest.

He Force-pulled a stool for himself and settled onto it. As she leaned back, nested safely against his body, she was overcome with his size, his complete domination over the physical space around him. She shouldn't feel so safe, so protected, not with everything threatening to steal him from her. But his influence on her body and on the Force was commanding and she felt the stress of the day drain from her aching muscles as she relaxed into him.

He rolled up his sleeves and leaned forward, arms outstretched next to hers, and offered his hands to her, palms up.

She stiffened, "My hands are dirty," she protested.

_Mmm hmm. Mine will be, too._

She couldn't see his face, but she didn't need to. His hands, those hands she had dreamed about so many nights after they'd touched on Ahch-To, were open to her again. Large hands with strong lines, a graceful curve to each finger. Those hands he had extended to her again and again, but she'd always had to deny. It hadn't been right to take them before. But now, here…

These were Ben Solo's hands.

She reached for them, soapy and wet and with muck under her nails, and when their skin touched, she could forget all of what had come before.

The current she felt rippling between them, through the Bond, was powerful enough to leave her winded. She heard his breath hitch, too, but he pressed his body closer, wrapping around her shoulders completely.

_I want to help you with this._

A gasp caught in her throat as his fingers laced through hers, soap squelching between them, skin sliding together easily.

He dipped his hands into the basin, waiting for her to mirror his motions before knitting his long fingers between hers again, and guiding her to the scouring brush. He cradled her hands and she melted into his gentle touch, closing her eyes and giving in to the sensation of him completely. The cool water, the soapy slickness, his warm grip on her hands. She was floating, heat prickling her skin, breaths coming short and fast, aching with want for more of _him_. Water dripped down her arms, spilling onto her bare legs, dousing the fire that seemed to burn across every inch of her skin.

He reached for the last section of dirty casing, his inner thighs pressing against her hips as he leaned forward. Warm lips grazed her neck as he dropped the filthy part into the basin. A shiver erupted across her shoulders from the contact as he squeezed more soap into her hand. His thumbs kneaded the thick paste into her palm, building a generous lather, and he was controlling her movements with the brush now, rocking her hands back and forth, again and again, her skin gliding against his as they scoured the casings to a shine.

With the parts clean, he drew his wet fingertips up her arms and back down one more time, leaving trails of heat in their wake. Then he gathered her close, nuzzling his mouth and nose against her neck as he held her, arms crossed, against his chest.

She sighed, a low whimper escaping her throat and his arms tightened around her. She felt an immediate surge of desire through the Bond and his mouth was moving against her skin again.

The light brush of his lips against her collarbone felt more like the caress of a breeze than a man. And Rey realized with a devastating pang of sorrow, that it was neither.

It was the kiss of a ghost.

_I would wait in the In Between forever, Rey. Just for this._

The Bond was open wide, thrumming in time to her beating heart, and she marveled at the beauty of it.

He held her close, pressing those small, ghosting kisses against her neck, until she couldn't contain the rising tightness in her chest, need spurring her to seek more of him, and she turned to find his lips.

She willed him to be real, solid and true, with everything she had as she kissed him, drawing from the expanse of Force so strongly it brought tears to her eyes. But when she pulled away finally, with the taste of him thick on her lips, he was still framed in that blue-green aura of the dead.

_Don't look at me like that._

"I'm sorry," she said. "I just… want you. Here."

Flushed and open-mouthed, he gave his husky reply, _Then have me._

The words twisted at a visceral place inside of herself and she threw herself back into him, this time trying to lose herself completely in his touch, his taste. They molded together, as if sculpted from the beginning to fit this way. His mouth opened to hers and their tongues touched for a heartbeat before that wretched heaving pressure down the Bond announced their time was short.

In a frenzy, she pulled Ben to stand, pressing herself flush against him, feeling the shallow rise and fall of his chest and the thundering of his heart against hers, and feeling _him._ Oh stars, the hardness of his need against her belly was… she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out. Instead, she captured him in another kiss, using her lips to tell him what he was doing to her, a silent request to take her deeper. He obeyed, daring to rove his hands under the fabric of her shirt, up her sides, wrapping around her waist. His fingers kneading circles against her back stoked a fire with each motion, building a coiling heat in her belly, ramping up a need for him that she could no longer ignore.

Then she was pushing him, pushing him back against her bed as she tangled her fingers in his hair and framed his face with her hands, demanding another taste of him. He fell heavy onto the mattress, and she lowered herself next to him, straddling his leg as she continued to feelhim _everywhere_. She whined as the pressure building between her legs found the slightest bit of friction from his thigh as she lay tangled with him on the bed.

He reached out a hand to cup her cheek, eyes blazing with the same need that raged inside of her.

But his fingers never found purchase, slipping through her as his physical body slowly melted away into the Force and a lonely silence took his place.

Her own shallow panting breaths filled her ears and Rey was left alone and aching in more ways than one.

* * *

Could these illustrations be any more perfect?! *le sigh* Thank you again for your talent, [JenniferLadyBug](https://jenniferladybug.tumblr.com)


	9. Tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the Great Tree is an actual thing in canon and it does really exist in Poe's yard (cited in Shattered Empire #4). Of course, I've taken liberties to add on to the tree's Force connection here, but that's okay. I have a feeling you all can allow me a few artistic liberties.
> 
> Thank you again for your comments, follows, favorites, and every share and recommendation that have helped spread this story to new readers. You guys are awesome. Next update by Thursday 😊

Rey's eyes burned as she tried and failed to keep the tears back. She ached for him still, hours after he'd gone.

But as she sat alone, thinking of his death on Exegol, her parents' murders, the reason for her miserable life on Jakku, the ache was replaced with anger. A white-hot fury in the pit of her stomach feeding on her fear and loneliness. Why was the Force doing this to her? Over and over again, people were taken from her.

"Why?!" The word tore from her throat and she was standing, fists clenched tight with her nails digging into her palms, pulse pounding in her ears.

A wave of Force streaked from her hands, overturning the stools, the table, the carefully cleaned saber parts. Water from the basin sloshed across the floor, dripping down the table legs as she stared, shoulders heaving. It took every ounce of strength she had to keep from unleashing another wave of rage.

Instead, she bit her lip hard enough to distract her from this tidal wave of _feeling_. Find balance, she needed to find balance. She would not let this happen. _She_ was in control. She closed her eyes, focusing on nothing but the air entering and leaving her lungs, the rise and fall of her chest, until finally, the fury ebbed and she was left with the shame of her outburst on top of the frustration of the situation.

She swallowed hard, ignoring the mess, and sank down on the mattress, staring at the ceiling until the task of keeping her eyes open became too much and she slept.

* * *

Far away, the clink of metal and harsh snipping roused her from her dreams.

Rey rubbed the sleep from her eyes, trying to decide whether it was really Ben sitting with his back to her at the worktable or if he was just a vestige of the dream she'd been having. His outline was much fainter compared with how he normally appeared.

_Good morning._

His voice jolted her head from the pillow.

"Why'd you let me sleep? We could have had more time…" She hastily smoothed her hair; it had fallen free of its ties in the night and was likely sticking out every which way. "You should have woken me."

He was still bent over the project at the table. _You were snoring and having a good dream by the sound of it._

Heat rose up the back of her neck. "Well, with the way things ended last night…"

 _I'm sorry._ He turned from the worktable to gaze at her. _Force, you don't know how sorry I am, how much I wanted to stay._

His dark hair was tousled and falling into his eyes, lending him a boyish charm that was undeniable. He brushed it away with the back of his hand and gave her his heart-stopping Solo smirk. A slight blush came to his cheeks as he spoke again, visible to her despite his ghost-blue pallor. _Well, maybe you_ do _know how much I wanted that._

Oh, she knew all right. She wasn't sure she could ever forget how his body had felt pressed against her. How it felt to be _wanted_ by him. She pushed the blankets off and stood to join him at the table before she let her imagination take her any further.

"Don't you dare apologize for that. This is not your fault," she said. "None of this."

He pressed his lips together, eyes darting to where the entire basin of water and all of the saber parts had been scattered last night. _Are you, I mean… Are you okay? I saw…_

She picked up a diatum power cell he'd managed to salvage, turning it over and over in her hands to avoid looking at him. "I was upset."

His perceptive gaze traveled over her, scrutinizing her head to toe, but he didn’t say more about it. Instead, he let his eyes linger on the oversize shirt she still wore. _His_ shirt.

 _T_ _hat looks much better on you._

She felt her face redden again and she was back to studying the power cell.

_Don’t do that. Don’t look away._

His voice was a low purr in her ears. That deep timbre had always excited her and the richness of it stirred something primal at her core. He was commanding and she wanted to obey.

So she did, meeting his gaze and locking onto his eyes. Those expressive dark eyes had always spoken to her in a way no one else’s could, and now they joined with his voice to orchestrate her complete domination. Stars, what was happening to her? He’d only spoken, _looked_ at her for Force’s sake and she was unravelling at the edges. Was this what it was like to be falling for someone? 

_You have no idea what it did to me, to see you clinging to that shirt on Tatooine, the only piece of me you had._ His fingers clenched into fists and his lip wobbled, barely perceptibly. _Don't doubt for one minute, that if I could have retained a scrap of anything from you, I would have done the same._

She smiled shyly, pulling the collar of the shirt up so she could breathe in the scent of the fabric. To her surprise it held a trace of him.

"It smells like you again," she admitted, voice still small. Talking of her feelings, urges and desires she'd hidden for so long, it was still… strange.

 _Well, you were all over me last night._ His cheek dimpled with a sly smile and she couldn't help but smile back.

He turned his attention back to the saber parts set out on the table. He'd picked up all the fallen pieces, arranged the parts that were usable on one side and gathered the broken scraps in a bucket, and had already begun adjusting the mounts for the primary crystal.

  


_I was worried I wouldn't be able to heal the crystal at all,_ he said. _I should have been more worried about how to put this wreck back together._

"You did it?" she said, eyes going wide. "You already healed it?"

_It didn't take long, almost like the crystal itself appreciated being put back together._

"Will it be blue again?" She'd seen his lightsaber in flashes in his memories and wondered if healing it would restore the kyber crystal to its original color.

 _You'll have to wait and see._ But the glint in his eye promised something unexpected.

Rey glanced at the pile of ruined scrap, pinching a long red wire between two fingers and holding it out in front of her like a dead worm. "I have to admit, I was unimpressed with your previous craftsmanship."

He huffed. _Well, we can't all be good at everything, sweetheart._ A playful expression danced across his face before he turned his attention back to his task. _The modulating circuits are ruined. And for time's sake, I'll have to keep the lateral vents._

Rey reached over to the bin she'd stowed under the table, filled with spare parts from her own lightsaber build. She rifled around, plucked out a few circuits that might be usable, and held them out for Ben.

_You've thought of everything._

His form had become more solid now and when he reached to take the parts, he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her close.

She sucked in a quick breath, filling her lungs with his scent, and leaned into his embrace. He ran his hands up the back of her neck, raking fingers through her hair, and pressed a tender kiss to her lips.

He pulled away, giving her a look that sent her pulse racing.

"You are getting very good at that, Ben Solo."

_Practice makes perfect._

Rey's curiosity got the better of her as she wondered how much practice he'd had. Surely Kylo Ren could have had any woman in the First Order. Even Ben Solo likely had some prospects at the Jedi academy. Either way, it was obvious he'd had more practice than she had.

He was studying her face, one eyebrow raised quizzically. _What was that look?_

"Nothing," she said, squirming from his arms and scooting her stool next to his.

_That wasn't nothing._

When she didn't respond, he focused a reprimanding glare in her felt the brush of his mind against hers, not really trying to get in, mostly testing her reaction. She Force-slammed that door in an instant.

"Don't even think about it," she warned.

He sighed and pouted a little, actually going as far as to stick out his bottom lip.

So far, Ben Solo had maintained one key characteristic from the persona of Kylo Ren – persistence. He did not know how to let something go. Then again, both Han and Leia were incredibly stubborn, so maybe it was genetic.

She dared another glance at him and… oh kriff, he had no right to be so adorable.

It was her turn to sigh. "I was just wondering how many girls you'd kissed before me. Not that it matters, I was just curious." She had to stop herself short to keep from babbling inanely.

 _One,_ he said. _Just once. It was stupid really, I was fourteen and we were playing this game, and it was more of a dare really._

"A game?" The idea of a young Ben Solo playing a kissing game had her immediate interest.

 _Spin the lightsaber._ He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it there to scratch nervously at the back of his head as his ears went as pink as a Zeltron's. _You spin it and whoever it points to you have to kiss._

She covered a laugh with her hand. She'd never seen him embarrassed. It pulled at a place in her heart she didn't know existed, and a pleasant warmth spread through her.

_I told you it was stupid._

"I think it's cute."

He tried to scowl, daring her to keep teasing him, but the crooked expression he wore instead struck her as the funniest thing she'd seen in a long while, and she was laughing, a full, loud belly-aching laugh that seemed to last forever. Not long ago, he'd been the master of the scowl, the very epitome of rage and now, here, Ben Solo couldn't even manage a proper frown. Just when she'd nearly composed herself, the thought doubled her over a second time, peals of laughter ringing against the walls.

His face strained comically as he tried to remain serious. Then, all at once, his laugh joined hers. It was a surprisingly musical thing, an unexpected sound that only served to enhance her own joy.

When they finally quieted, muscles aching with effort, breaths coming in little gasping hiccups, she leaned in close to him. "You can't even scowl at me properly anymore," she teased.

He put a sturdy arm around her and she was sure this was what she'd been fighting for her whole life. All traces of rage and loneliness were washed away in his company.

The protection of his touch gave her the courage to talk about things she never thought she could. "At least you've had more experience than I have. I'd never kissed anyone before you," she said. "I'm not really sure what I'm doing."

 _I don't believe that for a second. You know_ exactly _what you are doing to me._

In that moment, she nearly admitted just how much she wanted to know him. In _that_ way. In _every_ way, but this honesty between them was so new. This intimacy with another human being was so unfamiliar, that the thought stayed just that, a thought.

He pulled her in closer, burrowing his nose in the crook of her neck and humming contentedly against her skin.

He jerked away quickly as though he'd been stung by a sand bee. Lifting his head to listen, he stared into nothing.

She felt it too, the Bond contracting into something strained. Even with all of the honesty and laughter of their conversation, it seemed in the light of a new day something was close, threatening to take it all away. It was as though the Force itself was anxious and it bled through into their touch.

An unsettling prickling sensation climbed up the back of her neck, giving her the feeling someone was watching them, and she shifted uncomfortably.

Ben felt it, too, straightening awkwardly before bending to inspect the work at the table. _I have a feeling I'm going to need this. Soon._

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in!"

Finn poked his head in, saw Ben working at the table and turned back to Rey. "Uh… sorry. Just wanted to let you know there's breakfast, and Poe says we can get an early start. Everyone's all packed."

"Thanks," she said. "I'll be down in a bit."

Finn nodded, darting one last glance between the two of them and ducked out of the room.

_Go ahead and eat, I'll stay and see what I can do about this._

"Come with me," she said.

_I can't. I… I don't think I'm ready for that._

She appreciated his honesty, but the naive image of him becoming friendly with Finn, Poe, and Rose came crumbling down completely. Her friends were not the only ones hesitant about working together.

"It will just take time," she said, unsure of what else to give in terms of encouragement.

When he didn't respond, Rey was tempted to reach out through the Force to get a hint of how he was feeling. He was keeping his expression frustratingly guarded as he continued to shape his coupler.

 _I'm not used to this._ He slipped the finished coupling over the mount he was working to stabilize and turned it toward the light to inspect his work. _I never was that great with people, but now…_

He trailed off, not finishing his thought, instead, becoming lost in the work of his hands.

"Do you want me to bring you something from the mess hall? I mean, can you eat?"

 _I don't think so._ And he gave her a sad smile. _But you better enjoy your breakfast, last chance for something besides ration packets for a while._

"I don't know," she said, "maybe I can sneak some leftovers into the Falcon's galley, keep it in the conservator for later."

Her thoughts drifted to those drumsticks again.

 _A worthy use of your scavenging skills._ He gifted her a worshipful glance, eyes gleaming as the lights from the workstation reflected in them, revealing flecks of golden brown than she'd never seen before. Then he was hunched over again, turning his attention to the housing brackets.

She grabbed her normal clothes to change into downstairs and walked to breakfast alone. Alone, but warm all over.

* * *

The jungle sang with life from either side of the path to the Falcon. Rainwater glistened on the foliage, reflecting the morning light in countless rainbow puddles and prismatic droplets.

"Your throne awaits," Poe said, elbowing her in the side as he passed her along the path to the ship.

She smiled broadly at him. They always fought over the pilot's seat and the fact that he was ready to hand it over just like that… "You go ahead, I want to work on something."

He craned his neck to see what was inside the box she held at her hip. "Working on another lightsaber?"

"For Ben."

To his credit, he kept the disgust from his face, nodding and holding out his hands, offering to carry the box the rest of the way to the Falcon. She was already loaded down with her pack full of belongings, so she graciously took the help.

"How are you feeling about this?" she asked as they walked.

"It'll be strange to see home again, with Mom and Dad gone," his voice had taken on an uncharacteristic softness. "I haven't seen the old place in years."

Rey squeezed his shoulder before they parted ways. He returned the box and headed to the cockpit and she moved toward the main cabin.

Rose, Finn, and Chewie were already inside the Falcon with Chewie goading them into another game of Dejarik. Rey wondered fleetingly if Ben and Chewie used to play together. She added that to the ever-growing list of things she wanted to do with him, cheeks warming as she thought about the _other_ thing that was now number one on that list.

Every touch, every conversation, every moment they could spend together, these were what she was fighting for. Rey wouldn't let herself forget that as she strapped herself in for the jump to lightspeed.

* * *

She'd moved to the co-pilot's seat to watch their approach and now sat mesmerized by the endless expanse of green treetops spread out before them. This was not the fresh, sprightly jungle of Ajan Kloss. This forest was aged, imbued with an ancient wisdom, like the trees here seemed to possess the knowledge of nature itself. The Force was alive with this heavy awareness. They'd moved from one jungle to another, but this one couldn't be more different.

Poe was leaning forward slightly in his seat, scanning the horizon eagerly. She felt the pulse of Finn in the Force now, excitement for a new journey, content surrounded by friends. Chewie and Rose leaned in the doorway of the cockpit to look out, too.

And a tug on the Force introduced the missing member of their party.

"Hello, Ben," she said. Announcing him to the rest of the team.

Finn, who was sitting behind Poe, had already turned to lock eyes on him, as Ben had slowly appeared behind where Rey sat.

All four of her friends gave polite, if not tense, greetings as their eyes darted around the cabin uneasily.

Ben's reply was no less stiff, uttering a very forced, _hello._

For her though, his greeting was much the opposite. He gently rested his hands on her shoulders, running them over her taut muscles in a gesture of intimate acknowledgement, as he simultaneously sent a wave of relief down the Bond. She reached up, placing her palms on his hands and squeezed gently.

_Your pull on me was much stronger when you arrived here. It didn't take me long to find you._

"Maybe there's something to this Uneti Tree after all," she said, trying to hope, despite the unsettled feeling they'd shared this morning.

Poe maneuvered toward an area where the forest had been cleared. A small expanse of open fields, dotted with animal pens and modest stone dwellings – a village by the looks of it. Poe looked wistful as he pulled the controls, urging the Falcon toward the far side of the village.

"I'm sure there's another family here by now, and I don't want to cause a scene. I'm going to set her down in the clearing way out back, then we can walk to the Tree."

They touched down without incident, and Rey stood, lacing her fingers with Ben's.

She didn't miss the way his eyes lingered on every panel as they passed, every closet and hidden compartment. She half expected him to start rifling through a drawer to find something he'd stowed away.

"It should be yours," she said, whispering so the others wouldn't hear.

He actually winced in response to her observation. _I don't deserve it. The pilot seems to be handling it just fine._

Rey thought of the lightspeed skipping and decided not to tell Ben. He didn't need another reason to avoid talking to Poe.

"You know, if you called them by their names, it might help break the ice a bit," she teased, elbowing him playfully.

A grunt was his only reply as they followed behind the group.

They approached a small clearing, which was surrounded by the towering jungle canopy on all sides. These trees framing the space seemed to lean in, their branches reaching to shield the precious treasure at the center of the open field. The Great Tree. But the Uneti tree, with its twisting bark, ribbons of browns and golds coiling the length of its trunk, and large, fan-shaped leaves seemed less a tree and more… well, Rey wasn't sure. But if a tree could appear at once regal and sensible, this tree did.

The Force hummed loud in her ears, buzzing along her skin, and she saw Finn snatch a glance in their direction. He felt it too. This tree was _alive._

More wonderful art provided by the incredible jenniferladybug


	10. Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I can't thank you enough for your enthusiasm for this story. You all are so awesome, so here's a humpday update for you, a day early. Yay! :) Next one by Sunday I hope. Follow me on Tumblr @ erickawrites and don't forget to drop a comment if you are enjoying this!

The leaves of the Great Tree hissed in the breeze, seeming to shiver with anticipation as the group approached. Poe, Rose, Finn, and Chewie stopped short of the massive trunk, staring reverently at the sprawling branches overhead, allowing Rey and Ben to lead the way.

Something was happening with the Bond now, it was expanding and contracting, keeping a steady rhythm as though it had developed a pulse. The throbbing beat pounded loud in Rey's ears, strengthened as they neared the base of the tree, blocking out the twittering forest creatures and the soft swish of her friends' feet through the grass. Ben swallowed, squeezing her hand protectively as he approached the trunk with his free hand extended, palm out.

Rey echoed Ben's gesture, reminded so much of her experience in the cave at the heart of Ahch-To, when she'd reached out to touch the mirror.

As soon as her hand rested on the sacred bark, she was falling. The vision pulled her down, leaving her stomach behind in a dizzying lurch of gravity.

"Rey!" The terror in Ben's voice gripped her wholly, like a set of binders clasped around her heart.

"Ben!"

She couldn't see him, she couldn't see anything. It was dark here, completely black like the vacuum of space, but she could sense him.

Barely.

Only a thread of the Bond remained. The realization of the sheer weakness of their connection sent her crashing to her knees. With the crushing weight of absolute emptiness stooping her back and shoulders, she searched for him, feeling in the dark on hands and knees, calling for him until her voice was raw with the effort for what felt like hours. Days.

There was no time in this place.

Then, with a bone-jarring snap, the last thread connecting her to Ben Solo was ripped away and she was falling again. Falling forever into a void of grief. The nothingness of it was indescribable, the pressure of it against her consciousness was too much to fight, like the gravity of a black hole. She lay there, immersed in a silent ocean of nonexistence wishing for something, for anything. Wishing for it to end. Wishing to _die._

Then a voice she didn't recognize, cool and robotic, broke through the void and she clung to it the way someone would cling to a hand if they were drowning. _You can still save him. Meet me here and I will show you._

A face emerged from the shadows, the man with the prosthetic jaw and the facial tattoos, the one from her vision. "Where?" she demanded. "Meet you where?"

_You will know, Rey Palpatine, when the time comes._

[ ](https://imgur.com/EwkKM4B)

And she was falling now, through oblivion, barreling through the universe, flailing for purchase against something to slow her fall. She slid through empty space until her body struck the cool earth with a thud, eyes jarred open by the fall, staring up at the tangled branches of the Great Tree.

She struggled to regain her breath after it had been pounded from her lungs.

Rose, Finn, Poe and Chewie were standing above her, repeating her name over and over, their voices colored in varying shades of panic.

Rose helped her up by an elbow and when the world spun, Rey steadied herself with a palm on the grass and surveyed their concerned faces.

"Where's Ben?" she asked.

A muscle in Finn's jaw twitched. "He disappeared as soon as you touched the tree."

"How long was I… uh, gone?"

"You passed out at least two hours ago, Rey." Rose rubbed nervously at an eyebrow. "We were so worried."

Two hours. It took her several seconds to process how long that was through the fog clouding her thoughts.

Two hours? Maybe they were right, the sun was hanging very low on the horizon now. But Two hours?

"I have to try to find him," Rey said, pushing herself to stand.

She managed only a few steps before stumbling, unsure why she kept falling, only that her knees didn't seem to be working properly.

Poe was there, slinging her arm over his shoulder and steadying her at the waist. "Easy, Rey."

Chewie growled a simultaneous admonishment.

Finn spoke next, his voice muted. "There's something dark in there Rey. It showed me a place." He swallowed, darting glances anywhere but at her. "You were there, you looked… different."

"I saw something, too," she said, voice trembling, "that's why we have to find him."

"You can't help him like this," Finn said, gesturing to her weakened body. "I say we go back to the Falcon and rest a bit. We can try again tomorrow. The sun is setting."

"No," she said shaking her head.

"We are not risking our necks to do something stupid," Poe said. "Now, lets get back –"

"No!" she said, pushing Poe's help away. "I am going to _find_ him!"

She staggered again, this time the world spun so violently she ended up on her knees. What was going on?

She closed her eyes, reaching deeply for the Bond, that golden light of their connection. It was there, maimed perhaps by the intensity of that vision, but she could still feel that he was… somewhere.

It was only a small relief though, after what she had just seen. The Sith had taunted her with the need to save Ben and he'd asked her to meet him there. Did he mean the World Between Worlds?

Ben had said their connection was stronger here on Yavin IV. Maybe it would be easier to see _him_ here? Maybe if she focused on the Bond instead of what the Tree wanted to show her, she could see him in the In-Between.

So she did, concentrating with everything she had on pulling Ben to her. Again and again she reached out through the Force until sweat beaded on her forehead. Why wasn't it working?

"What are you doing, Rey?" Finn warned. "Just relax."

It wasn't enough to focus on the Bond alone, then.

That was stupid.

If Ben's connection to her was stronger here, then it was The Great Tree's link to the World Between Worlds that would help her see Ben. She had to focus on Ben and the Tree. She had to focus on _both_. Rey was standing on wobbly legs in an instant, pressing her palm against the bark again, this time grasping with all of her strength onto Ben Solo's Force signature.

"Rey stop!"

Down the endless black tunnel again, but this time she didn't fall long. An instant later, she was standing in that place of geometric lines and crossing paths, watching the solid outline of Ben Solo as he approached a shadowy figure. The reality of what she was seeing struck her a moment later. No ghostly blue outline, Ben was _solid_ in this place.

"Let me pass," Ben said, voice as threatening as she'd ever heard it.

The laugh that came in response sent gooseflesh spreading across her skin. It was that same metallic voice coming through that prosthetic jaw's voice modulator.

The owner of the voice stepped forward, his muscular build visible through a red suit of ribbed fabric. A black cloak clung to his shoulders and his cape fluttered behind him in an eerie breeze that she couldn't feel on her skin. He was not as tall as Ben, but close to it, and he stared with shrewd grey eyes at Ben.

"Kylo Ren," the man said.

"Kylo Ren is dead," Ben responded flatly.

"Hmmm, so he is. Too bad. He could have been unstoppable." The man squinted his eyes and looked Ben up and down. "And you, Solo?" He snorted derisively. "Well, it's a good thing you brought your other half. _She_ at least, has some potential."

Rey stepped forward from the shadows, toward the unknown Sith, taking her place at Ben's side.

"Speak of the devil," the man said, voice a musical drone.

"Who are you?" Rey demanded.

He ignored the question, igniting his lightsaber with a flick of his thumb and stepped forward into an aggressive stance.

"The Force has chosen _you_ then. I recognize that little _connection_ between you," he twisted the word in revulsion. "And I will break it." Then, he turned his gaze to Rey. "I will break you just as I broke Bastila Shan and you will offer the power of your Dyad to the Sith."

"Darth Malak," Ben breathed, and suddenly, Rey was very aware of the blood pounding in her ears. This was same Darth Malak from the legend Ben had told her of Bastila and Revan? How was this possible?

"You failed," Ben continued. "You failed almost four thousand years ago. Bastila went back to the light and you were killed."

"And I've had almost four thousand years to think about how to remedy my shortcomings," his eyes were a predator's locked on its prey.

"If you're here, you're trapped," Ben said. "We can just let you rot here."

"You mistake this place," he spat. "The World Between Worlds is simply another plane of existence. I am as alive as you. Trapped, yes. But alive."

"That's impossible. The Sith were destroyed," Rey said.

Malak's lip twitched in morbid excitement. "When Shreev Palpatine drained some of the power of your Dyad and was destroyed, the spirits of the Sith were finally released into this plane. We grow stronger every day, ever closer to breaking through into the physical realm. Even now what remains of the Sith Eternal are working to restore our former glory. The fact that you are here, Solo was a pleasant turn of events. You are trapped with us, too it seems."

"No," Rey said, flicking on her own lightsaber and taking a step forward.

He leveled his gaze at her. "Palpatine's bloodline lives. Therefore, you will complete the cycle, fulfill the prophesy of your Dyad and restore power to the Sith." He said it as though he were stating a simple fact.

It was Rey's turn to laugh. Nothing sounded more preposterous than the idea of her giving up her connection to Ben to turn to the dark side.

"You think yourself above me? Such arrogance." Malak turned to look behind him where a dozen shadows played eerily in the darkness. "What then… would you say to all of them?"

A line of shrouded faces was revealed one by one. She recognized the ghostly figure with the half-mask from her vision, next to him a bald, muscular human with Sith eye tattoos, a Zabrak with vicious rows of horns and piercing yellow eyes, a Twi'lek woman with red and black patterned lekku, and several more lurking further in shadows. As one, the Sith ignited their sabers, casting a red glow over their faces, illuminating a dozen twisted smiles dripping with darkness.

Malak twirled his own crimson saber with a threatening flourish, eyes flashing to Ben. She felt Ben's pull on the Force, a powerful, jarring rip of energy, both dark and light, that he sent crashing into the Sith. The wave of energy was so all-consuming, she was pulled forward by the aftershock.

But Malak only smiled as all of the Sith raised their palms as one to deflect the blow.

"Is that all you have? And not even a lightsaber?" he teased. "You've become more impotent than I thought."

Blaster fire issued from somewhere behind her and Malak watched, unconcerned as the bolt passed right through his body. Rey turned in time to see Finn's blaster clatter uselessly to the ground. She never realized he was there.

Rey was running at Malak before she had a chance to think, charging with everything she had to keep his attention away from Finn, away from Ben. She leaped, pulling at the Force to propel the swing of her lightsaber, slicing vertically in a vicious downward arc.

The saber passed right through him and she landed awkwardly, rolling her ankle, seeing a bright flash all across her vision as fire tore up her leg. She stumbled, attempting to correct her balance and, favoring her injured leg, she stood to face him again.

That laugh rang out, everywhere in her mind and in this strange half-place.

"I told you, Rey Palpatine, weren't you listening? You must meet me here. Pass through completely into the World Between Worlds. The Tree is only a looking glass. _You_ are unreachable to me, and I to you… for now."

Dread had already begun gnawing at her insides, but when Malak turned a threatening eye on Ben, terror swallowed her whole. "But for your other half, I'm sorry to say, we can destroy _him_ without a second thought."

Malak took several slow, menacing steps toward Ben, lightsaber buzzing ominously in his hand. The dark figures lurking behind did the same.

Then, moving as one, the Sith raised collective hands, lifting Ben by the throat and leaving his feet dangling grotesquely a foot from the floor. Ben groped for the invisible hand at his neck, but there was nothing to grip. She watched him close his eyes, sensed his focus on the Force, and she tried something. She sent a surge of energy straight down the Bond and a second later, he unleashed a Force push so fierce, Malak and three of the Sith in its path were swept away like scrap in a sandstorm.

Unfortunately, the countless remaining Sith maintained their holds.

Rey was already leaping toward them when she heard Finn scream her name. "Rey no!"

She propelled herself skyward in a Force-fueled push, this time slashing recklessly at the line of Sith as she landed. Her saber passed through their bodies, unable to reach any of them physically in this place. She gritted her teeth, anticipating an excruciating landing. She'd tried to come down with most of her weight on her good leg, but even so, an electric shock of pain ripped through her. Tears burned behind her eyes, and as she watched Ben's lips turn a sickening blue, it was as though Malak had taken her heart in his fist and twisted.

Ben was mere steps away from her, but they were separated by an entire dimension of existence. Panic morphed into that familiar white-hot rage, clouding her vision as heat and energy swelled in her fingertips.

"So close to your edge, Rey Palpatine," Malak crooned, having found his feet again after Ben's attack. "Perhaps this was why the Jedi forbade attachments."

Just as she felt Ben's grip on consciousness slipping, Malak flicked his wrist and the line of Sith followed suit, releasing their hold and sending Ben's body crumpling to the ground.

"Don't worry, it's not his life we want. It's the power of your Dyad. Give it to us and you may both live. I may even let him pass through this plane to join you again."

The Bond surged with pain, fear, desperation – whose she couldn't tell, but his gasping breaths at least told her he was alive.

Knowing that Ben was sorely outmatched and out of options, Rey closed her eyes, focusing on their link and attempted to pass her lightsaber to him as she had on Exegol. He responded, their thoughts melding as one, focused on the weapon. But it didn't move, as though mired in invisible quicksand, she felt him pulling but it wouldn't budge. This wasn't working, she was not able to interact at all in this In Between, not even through the Bond.

Ben was stuck in this World Between Worlds.

He had no weapon and no way to fight through to escape the In-Between, not with these Sith blocking his path. But she knew what the Sith wanted now. They wanted the power of the Dyad and could only have it if she and Ben were both in the World Between Worlds together.

Their only choice was to run. And their only advantage was their Bond.

 _Focus back on the tree._ It was as if they'd both had the same thought at the same time and shecentered her concentration on the physical world. She imagined their palms against the bark of the tree, feeling the tether between herself and Ben, imagining his solid form, his hand in hers. And as she felt herself pull away, she yelled a warning for Finn.

"Focus on the tree, Finn."

Blackness wound around her, ripping at her clothes, twisting at her hair until she stood panting with her palm pressed to the Great Tree. Her vision swam, but through the rocking of the earth under her feet she saw Finn appear nearby, moonlight illuminating his silhouette.

Ben's hand materialized solid in hers and she collapsed to her knees.

One great sob came out in a hiccup and she clutched Ben's robes in her free hand as he stood before her. She didn't miss how he clung to her other hand as though it was his anchor to this place. She wasn't sure she could stand, her ankle throbbed with agonizing heat, but Ben steadied her, helping her find her balance. She wasn't sure she could put any weight on her foot, but she didn't need to worry. Ben's arm was wrapped tight around her waist now, keeping her upright.

She placed a shaking hand against his chest, convincing herself that he was solid, that he was really there under her fingertips. Ben didn't take his eyes off her as he brushed his thumb across her cheek to dry a streaking tear.

"This can't be happening," Finn was saying from behind her, "How can we fight all of _that?_ "

Somewhere in the background of her screaming emotions, she heard Finn explaining to the others what had happened, her friends' eager questions coming in rapid fire.

But the Bond was demanding her attention at the moment, and she found herself unable to focus on anything but Ben. Angry red streaks that would most certainly be bruises cut across his neck. She extended a trembling hand, running her fingers through the hair around his ear, tracing gently down his jaw and to his lips. Memories of those lips, twisted into a grimace and lined in the blue shades of suffocation, pounded at her emotional walls. Something wrenched out of place inside of her when he'd been dangled like that before her. A realization of just how far she might go to keep from seeing him hurt.

Her first vision given to her by the Great Tree was put into stark focus. The blackness, the void… that was how she imagined her world without Ben. Malak's words from that first vision twisted through her thoughts. _You can still save him. Meet me here and I will show you._

And she knew she would. She would travel to the World Between Worlds to meet the Sith. She would find a way. Not to join them, but to destroy them.

_Rey._

Ben was gazing at her. Yavin's moons reflected in his eyes, highlighting the welling tears glistening at their corners. Worry creased his brow as he leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers.

"Ben."

With their names, they spoke a thousand words. The Bond had pulled him out of that place and now it sang in victory. The Bond was alive. That golden thread connecting them was vibrating with energy and relief, chanting a chorus of need and belonging that she'd only ever felt with him.

He nudged her chin up with his thumb, his gaze gentling as his eyes roamed over her face, settling at her mouth. His fingers laced into her hair and her lips parted with a sharp intake of breath as he pulled her into his kiss. She felt her walls shatter completely in that moment. Those mental shields she'd tried so hard to maintain, crumbled under the weight of her feelings for Ben. With every movement of his lips, every caress of his fingers against her skin, he stripped away her defenses until she shared everything.

With their bodies molded in a perfect embrace it became clear that she was in much deeper than she ever thought she could be. And she didn't care if he knew.

He gasped, pulling away just long enough to give her a look of complete disbelief before his arms encircled her fully and he buried himself in their kiss again. In that moment, she felt him slowly draw back the veil he'd used to shroud his own innermost thoughts. She shuddered at the complete coupling of their minds, realizing with awe just how wholly she was bound to this man.

She didn't realize how much effort it had taken to keep him at a distance until she was completely open to him. She never knew how much more the Bond could give them if they surrendered wholly to it. But now their connection hummed a chorus of feelings, pure power radiating all around them, as though the Force itself agreed with this new level of intimacy between them and had granted them a gift. She felt his emotions, his desires now as her own. His fear was hers, his pain, his regret. And when he groaned softly against her mouth, causing immediate heat to bloom at the very core of her, she knew, her body was his, too.

This was the strength of their Bond. The potential of a Dyad in the Force.

And she would _never_ let that Bond be broken.

* * *

Go give the amazing [JenniferLadyBug](https://jenniferladybug.tumblr.com) a follow on Tumblr and thank her for these wonderful illustrations!


	11. Fingers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A day early again! Yay! There was no way I could wait until tomorrow to post… this chapter is not a Sunday morning coffee type of read, it's much more of a Saturday night cocktail type of update 😉
> 
> I had other plans for this chapter, but when I tried to send our favorite space pair toward the next plot point, the characters refused to budge. They were not finished having their moment from the last chapter. This is the fun of writing, when the characters begin to feel so real that they make their own decisions. So, you can blame this Force-rollick on Ben and Rey. 
> 
> You guys are amazing, thank you for all of the feedback, really your comments are the reason I'm writing so fast. It's a huge help to me, so if you are liking my work… please let me know!

Rey had almost forgotten the others were there, she was so wrapped up in Ben's kiss and the power of their entwined Force buzzing in the night air.

But when Poe raised his voice from the far side of the tree, his tone thick with sarcasm, she realized her friends were all gaping at her with varying levels of disgust and fascination on their faces. "So, uh… either Rey is suddenly the most inappropriate mime in the galaxy, or I take it she found Ben."

"Mime? What?" Finn wrinkled his brows, his expression just visible under the light of Yavin's moons. "Wait, you still can't see him?"

Rey pulled away from Ben's embrace, breathless and warm everywhere. She hungered for more of him, but a sinking feeling had settled into the pit of her stomach with her friends' words.

"Should I be able to?" Poe asked.

"He looks completely solid to me now," Finn said, shaking his head in confusion. "I thought he was actually here."

"I still can't see him, either," said Rose.

Chewie growled his agreement.

Rey reached up, brushing her fingertips along Ben's jaw. "But, I see you as solid as I see them," she whispered, her elation dampening into cold dread.

Fear threatened now, like the point of that Sith dagger pressed against the skin of her breastbone.

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. _The Bond is stronger._

"Then why can't they see you?"

 _What you see is still a projection. I'm still…_ there _. In the In-Between._

His words plunged the dagger into her heart and twisted.

He reacted immediately to her emotions, sending soothing warmth down the Bond. _Rey. Nothing has changed. I still want… I still feel…_ He grunted in frustration as he grappled for words. _The Force has given us this gift. At least I can move around in the World Between Worlds, and we're away from_ them.

"But for how long?" She didn't want to be yelling at him, but the fear was gripping her completely, squeezing the words out at twice her intended volume.

Ben didn't flinch. He was running comforting fingers along her arm.

But Rey's heart was thrashing an angry rhythm against her ribcage now. Her fingers tingled with it, the power of her rage, and with the rushing torrent of her fury beginning to carry her away, she pounded a fist against his chest and screamed. "You heard Malak! They won't let you leave!"

Waves of comfort lapped against her chaotic thoughts as his Force, his energy, cradled her protectively. He was trying to help her control her fear. _We'll find a way._

And before she could argue back, his strong arms were wrapped around her, holding her to his chest.

"You feel so real," she said, voice choked with emotion.

 _If our Bond can do this, can make me so solid here, then who knows what else we are capable of?_ He took her face between his hands, and the hope she saw in his eyes burned away the icy fear in her veins.

  


_Force Rey, when you sent that energy to me through the Bond, and I could wield it,_ he shook his head in disbelief. _There's still so much we don't know about the power of our connection._

 _"_ But if you're still in the World Between Worlds, won't they find you?"

 _We know if they do, they won't hurt me. They don't want me. They want_ us _. They need the power of the Dyad._

She wanted to hope, but with the disappointment and fading adrenaline, came the return of the throbbing pain of her ankle. Stars, she needed some pain meds, maybe there was some numbspray back on the Falcon.

"I just thought…" she sighed. "It felt so good to think we'd actually had a victory."

 _I'd say this is a victory, wouldn't you?_ And after seeing the life drain from him at the hands of the Sith, maybe he was right. Even if this was just a projection, it was a kriffing beautiful one. Solid, just as she remembered him from Exegol.

He didn't give her a chance to answer before he captured her mouth again and she softened, instinctively drawing closer. When he deepened the kiss, demanding more, she yielded to him, willingly helpless in his arms. She was surprised by her desire to surrender everything to him, to let him control her. Had she ever dreamed she would trust anyone enough to make her feel this way?

She heard Rose's voice from the other side of the tree. "Do you guys think there's a tavern or something at that little colony we passed? Want to go get something warm to eat?" Rey didn't miss the commanding tone in her voice. Bless her, Rose was trying to give them some privacy.

"Yeah, there is. We'll just… uh. See you back at the Falcon."

"Yeah," Finn agreed.

"This is not getting any less weird," she heard Poe mumble as their footsteps receded into the night.

The stars peaked through the Great Tree's canopy and she gazed up at them. Ben's eyes followed hers and he held her close, silently watching the galaxy move around them, feeling the Force between them, reveling in the deep connection to each other and the overwhelming life all around.

_Where would you want to go? When this is over._

"I don't care where I go, just who I'm with."

His eyes found hers and they were wrapped in each other all over again. His hands found their way under her tunic, exploring the curve of her hips. His touch was the only thing that could make her forget what she'd seen today, and Maker did she want to forget. Around her waist, up her sides, her back, his warm fingers kneaded her bare flesh. A half-strangled moan escaped her lips as she realized what a strange feeling this was, to have Ben so close, but to still be _longing_ for him.

 _I…_ Ben's voice was obviously strained, but evened out a bit as he spoke. _I want to be with you, Rey. But I've never, I mean… I don't want it to be while I'm still there._

She growled her frustration at that. "Then just touch me." She shifted her weight to be closer to him, forgetting about her ankle. She sucked a breath through clenched teeth as a shock of pain up screamed up her leg.

Without a word, Ben whisked her off her feet, holding her to his chest and carried her away.

She squeaked. "What are you doing?"

He didn't slow down. In fact, he was picking up speed. With his long strides, they'd be back to the Falcon in minutes. _Well, you need something for that foot. And we can't exactly do, well do_ this _properly out here._

"Why not?"

_I don't know. I just thought…_

He held her close to his chest, and she felt overwhelmingly protected. In her years on Jakku, she'd never needed protecting, having earned her survival minute by minute with her own two hands. But she found that she didn't mind letting Ben care for her. It felt good.

She looked up at him, and her breath caught. The slightest blue-green glow framed his face. "Ben. You're fading."

His brows furrowed in thought and he looked down at her and back at the Tree. His expression slackened with the same dawning realization she was having.

"The Tree," she whispered.

_Let's do a little experiment._

He corrected his course, turning back toward the Tree again.

Several paces later, there was a notable difference. "It's working," she said, noticing the glow beginning to disappear as he slowly became more solid.

 _I suppose it makes sense._ He had the look of a scientist now, puzzling out a problem with her. _The Tree serves as a way to view the World Between Worlds. And when you're near it, it strengthens your connection to me in the In-Between._

 _"_ So… we'll just never leave this spot."

The roguish half-smile he gifted her in that moment was the most sensual thing she'd ever seen in her life, though she supposed she didn't have much in the way of that kind of experience. Still, it heated her instantly and she was ready to have him wherever.

_You need to stop looking at me like that._

"Or what."

_Or I'll never be able to stop touching you._

"Would that be so bad?"

His need rippled across the Bond, and she shivered as she let the sensation wash over her.

 _I wanted to get you something for your ankle,_ he insisted, now gritting his teeth as he tried to focus.

"It's fine. Just, lay me down at the base of the tree over there."

Oh stars. Lay her down. What was she asking? Were they really going to…

 _Rey,_ he said. _I, this. I mean…_ He swallowed hard and was looking anywhere but at her.

Even with the Bond still completely open, practically screaming how much he wanted her, he was still adorably shy about speaking these innermost thoughts.

"Ben. I _want_ to. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but right now, you are solid and I want to touch you."

He did as she asked, laying her down gently in the soft grass at the base of the tree.

_It's just, I can't believe you feel the same way._

"Please, you can sense my every desire," she said, feeling her lips turn up into a smile.

He sat down in the grass beside her, eyes turned up to the stars in thought. _I almost kissed you in that elevator._ He brought his gaze back down to her to study her reaction _._

"I know," she said.

_I would have, if I knew I could have hidden those feelings from Snoke._

"I wonder if it would have changed things." She remembered the electricity she'd felt in that moment, and every moment they'd been together since then.

 _Please,_ he said, eyebrow raised. _One kiss and you would have been begging to join the First Order._

She laughed and pulled herself closer, resting her head in his lap. So much had changed so quickly. From enemies, to _this._ Either way, the connection had been there, but she much preferred this to fighting.

Rey looked out at the edge of the forest. The leaves were tipped in moonlight, swishing in the breeze and she had to admit, there was something magical about green places. There was just so much life _._

_You were so infernally stubborn. A year of Force connections and a year of you ignoring me completely. It killed me a little more every day._

"You know why I couldn't talk to you."

He was silent for a moment, thinking, his lips pressing together as his thoughts churned in his mind, feelings bleeding down the Bond. _So many times I wanted to walk away from it. To come find you. But I always told myself it was too late. I'd done too many wrongs for too long. Then when I felt mother…_ The rest of his sentence was lost in the swirling torrent of his emotions. She felt them like a rushing river down their connection as he confided in her. _I saw my dad. Just a memory, but he looked so solid._

"He would be proud of what you've done, what you are going to do," she said.

 _I don't deserve this. You. Any of it._ The sharp edge to his voice wrenched a bit at her heart. He was still so broken.

"You get a lifetime to prove that you do."

He gave a sad smile, taking a lock of her hair that had fallen from its tie and twisting it around his finger.

_You are the only reason I'm still here._

"And _you_ are the only reason I'm still here. I nearly fell… to the Emperor," she said, wanting him to see that even the pull to the darkness was something she could understand. "That loneliness, that fear was so overpowering, the idea that I could strike him down was…"

_You had no other choice._

"Until you gave me one," she said, reaching for his hand and lacing her fingers through his.

She would never forget that moment. The relief, the pure joy of seeing Ben Solo through the Force Bond for the first time. That precious instant when she realized Kylo Ren was gone and it was Ben who had appeared to show her another way.

"And _you_ had no other choice," she said. "Until you found another way."

Ben lay back then, gathering her in his arms to lie side by side, pulling her head onto his chest to gaze up through the canopy together. Insects buzzed and glowflies hovered overhead, blinking their conversations to each other in the night.

With Rey's body curled comfortably next to his, it was easy to imagine a life after this. A life where she wasn't alone.

_You'll never be alone again. I promise._

  


And they were kissing. Tangled in each other, the tangy scent of grass mingling with the intoxicating smell of _him._ The sounds of the night melded with his breathy gasps as, all the while, the Bond lay open, their souls bared for one another.

He rolled her over onto her back, cradling her head in his hand and kissed her fiercely. His need was obvious, pressing against her hip now as he grazed kisses down her neck. She fisted her hands in his hair as his mouth found the tender skin of her collarbone.

His hand pulled at her belt, finding its way under her tunic, caressing her exposed navel, her hips, her waist. He stilled, and she sensed his hesitation. She helped him along, pulling her tunic over her head and freeing herself from the layers of fabric.

In the moonlight, his gaze seemed reverent, his eyes paying homage to every inch of her exposed skin. Oh, but this wasn't fair. He had so many layers on and she was bare besides her breastband and pants.

She gave him a look from underneath her lashes that she suspected might ease his nerves before reaching to help pull off his outer robe. He shrugged it off, tossing it aside in a gesture that made her toes curl. Oh stars, this was taking too long.

His fingers worked at his belt and he slid it off as she fumbled for his overtunic. He pulled this off revealing one more frustrating layer which she helped him shed, and finally Rey found herself marveling at the perfection that was Ben's muscular body. She remembered the first time she'd seen him bare chested, feeling instant attraction despite wishing he would just cover himself up. She flushed at the memory and the realness of him before her now.

She was biting her lip as he lowered himself down to her.

He hummed a contented sound in her ear as their skin finally pressed together, warm and smooth. Her hands worked of their own accord, stroking his shoulders, his back, and fueled by his raw desire practically screaming down the bond, she moved them lower.

He sucked in a breath as her hands found the perfectly sculpted muscles at his rear and she pulled him onto her, centering him to gather his delicious weight on top of her, just _there_ where she needed him.

The guttural sound he made in response turned her insides into a quivering mess of need and he kissed her again. Only, this kiss was different. This kiss was a year's worth of desire unleashed. This kiss was his tongue showing her just what it could do to her body.

Her heart was a fluttering thing in her chest now as tingles erupted across her skin. She needed him to touch her. Everywhere.

His tentative fingers reached for the edge of her breastband, searching, fumbling. Rey found the corner of the wrap, pulling it free and placing it in his trembling hand. His breath was shallow now as he unwrapped the band of cloth with agonizing caution. Finally, unbound and exposed to the cool night air she ached for him to touch her. She saw his lips press together, worrying the way they did when he was contemplating a problem.

His tentative care as a lover would have been endearing, had it not been for the fire now raging fully between her legs.

She grabbed his hands and pulled them to her, hissing a breath through clenched teeth as his hands cupped her breasts and started moving, rubbing, caressing. Oh Maker, his fingers grazed the curve of her breast and she was melting.

Rey didn't know the details of how everything worked, but what she did know was that she needed his hands _everywhere_.

"Ben." She hardly recognized her voice it was so rough with need. "Touch me."

She saw his unspoken confusion in the knit of his brows.

_I am -_

She reached for his hand, abruptly cutting him off, and guided it under the waistband of her pants.

Ben, Maker bless him, didn't hesitate much longer despite his wide-eyed expression. He shifted some of his weight to his elbow and pushed his hand to that raging center of her heat. She felt him harden against her leg, pressing himself closer.

His breath was hot in her ear, voice ragged. _Rey, are you sure this –_

"Yes," she hissed. "Please."

He exhaled softly, pressing kisses to the shell of her ear, sending a shiver through her and his hand was so close. So excruciatingly close and she could feel how wet she was for him. Kriff.

He drifted closer, feeling, stroking, but he wasn't there yet. She took his hand, guiding his fingers to part her folds and showed him just where to touch her. When his fingers grazed perfectly against the center of her, she couldn't help but rock her hips to meet his hand as he worked up a delicious rhythm.

Ben was propped on an elbow now, kissing at her neck, and his fingers, slick with her desire, were now getting bolder. When he slowly slipped one finger inside of her, she nearly came undone, bucking and pressing herself harder against his hand.

She felt a deep rumbling in his chest. He'd actually chuckled a little at that.

"Alright hotshot…" She intended it to be a rebuke, but was undermined by the breathiness in her voice.

There was no way she was going to let him give her all the pleasure. She would find a way to make him beg for _her._ She had no idea how he liked to be touched, but the Bond itself was crying out with his desire and she was sure when she had it right, she'd know.

So she adjusted her position just enough to reach him, gathered her courage, and slipped her own hand underneath his waistband and around his length. She swallowed hard, trying to focus on him despite the waves of pleasure threatening to drown her.

His skin was impossibly smooth, silken in her calloused hands. She caressed him, moved her hand against him, trying to find what he liked best, and when he groaned, she didn't need the Bond to tell her that he liked it _this_ way.

Then, as if moving to some ancient instinctual dance, they fell into the rhythm of their hands. Eyes closed, she focused on just _feeling_. The brush of his lips, the heat of his skin, the stroke of his fingers.

He was thrusting into her hand now, his own ministrations becoming more clumsy between her legs, and she knew he must be close. She found his mouth again, biting his lip and teasing it with her tongue. As she felt his rhythm quicken, she tried to match him, kissing him hard as he began to tense. He moaned into her mouth as his release came hot against her palm.

His heart pounded so hard in his chest, she felt it against hers as he nuzzled closer to her, his panting breaths tickling her neck. As he came back to himself, his hand's exploration resumed with dizzying intensity. Now he'd found where to put the heel of his palm to deliver a light pressure she could rock against. Oh stars, she was close. Her body was meeting the glide of his finger and he got the beautiful idea to add a second digit. She whimpered as he took her closer to that edge. He was watching her writhe and moan underneath him as each caress of his hand wound that sweltering knot inside of her tighter and tighter.

Her entire _being_ became the rhythm of his fingers.

 _More_ her body begged. _More, more, more_ and with one last stroke of his fingers, the knot in the core of herself dissolved into liquid fire, melting into a puddle of blissful sensation and she rode those waves for what felt like eternity, trembling as she clutched his muscular arms.

When she stopped shaking, he slowly extricated himself from her underclothes and sank heavily down upon her.

She relished his crushing weight as they lay there in the grass, hearts pressed together, panting and bare from the waist up.

Stars, he was _heavy._ But she felt so safe, sheltered there underneath him, she didn't dare to move. Even when her arm went numb, she tried to ignore it. Finally, he must have felt her squirm a bit below him, because he sighed dreamily, rolling over onto his back. He gathered her into his arms and pressed a tender kiss to the top of her head.

 _That was not exactly how I imagined that would go._ A flash of embarrassment down the Bond came with his next words. _I've just wanted you for so long._

She pressed a finger to his lips. "It was perfect," she said, smiling. "Though I imagined less laughing," she said with a smirk.

 _I'm sorry -_ he began, but she shushed him before he could finish.

"I said, you were perfect," she assured him. Then, stretching languorously in his arms, she realized she hadn't even thought of the pain in her ankle. "Way better than pain meds or numbspray."

He rumbled another low chuckle. _That's not very reassuring._

But she didn't need to use reassuring words to tell him how she felt. The poignant truth of it was already flowing between them through their connection. She burrowed into that soft space between his neck and shoulder and inhaled deeply, letting his scent wash over her, relaxing into his tender touch as he ran his fingers through her hair.

With the Bond blindingly bright and the intensity of his Force wrapped around her, there was no denying what she felt. Their bodies were built for each other and Rey would ensure that she had many more chances to explore how they fit together.


	12. Code

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember... your comments are the light to my saber, the Baby Yoda to my Mando, the Ben to my Rey, so please make my heart happy and leave one if you are enjoying this. Otherwise it gets a little lonely out here in Writer Land.
> 
> * * *

Rey lay cradled in Ben's arms talking late into the night. They gazed together at Yavin's moons, one pale pink, one pale blue, mesmerized by the slow arc of their orbits overhead. She wondered how many millions of years they'd been chasing each other through the sky. How many lovers through the ages had fixed their eyes on these moons as they had done tonight?

As the glowing spheres traversed the skies, she learned of Ben's favorite foods, his hobbies before the First Order, and his adventures at Luke's academy, all of which he conveyed with the dramatic zest of a true storyteller.

She would rather have just listened to him, but he insisted she tell about her days on Jakku, about the first time she could remember using the Force, and about the year spent training with his mother. Rey would have stayed with him all night, and it seemed the Force would allow them this gift, until she started to shiver. Mist was beading on the grass, and her clothes were damp with it now. Gooseflesh prickled on her arms and Ben ran gentle fingers over the raised bumps.

 _How's your ankle?_ he asked.

"About the same," she admitted.

_I may have to carry you back._

_Unless…_ he said, sitting up and knitting his brows as he regarded her injured foot. Then, his contemplative look broke into a thin smile and kneeling beside her, he placed his hand on her ankle and closed his eyes. His chest expanded with a deep breath and the dull ache in her foot slowly drained away into nothing, the balm of his Force knitting her torn muscles back together.

He exhaled, lifting his eyes to hers. _I don't know why I didn't think to try that hours ago._

She wiggled her ankle , finding that it complied easily.

 _On second thought,_ he offered her that lopsided smirk that turned her insides to jelly. _Maybe I wasn't thinking quite as clearly a few hours ago._

"That makes two of us," she said.

 _Let's get back to the Falcon,_ he said, his voice a command not a suggestion.

"And what if I said I wasn't ready yet?" she said, raising her eyebrows in mock-indignation.

Shadows played across his face as moonlight shone down between the fluttering leaves overhead. _Then I might say I don't care if you're ready or not._

"It seems that our Supreme Leader got a little too used to getting his way all the time."

His brows hardened, dark eyes carved in a stony glare. _I have ways of making you obey,_ he said, and before she knew what he'd done, her wrists were pinned into the grass over her head, Force flowing around him, dark and passionate. Was he using the Dark Side? Oh stars, her heart was already hammering in anticipation as he straddled her, easily overpowering her halfhearted attempts to escape him.

She closed her eyes, letting the cool caress of his Darkness trail across her skin, vibrating through the Force in a way she didn't realize was physically possible. He bent to trail hot kisses from her collarbone up her neck, sighing against her ear as he bit down gently on her earlobe and grazed his tongue along the curve of her ear.

The shiver that tore through her then had nothing to do with the cold. The steely energy of his Force binding her wrists, the size of him as he knelt over her, the playful expression he wore as he raised his eyes to hers. Kriff, she was ready for him all over again.

Then, all at once Ben Solo released his Force hold on her and winked. He actually _winked_ at her, and if her insides were jelly already, this was enough to make her want to push him back down into the grass and absolutely ravage him, freezing cold or not.

He sucked in a breath and his eyes went wide as he felt her desire through the Bond. Then a slow, satisfied smile unfurled across his lips.

"Don't you get cocky now, Ben Solo, or Maker help me, I will find a way to block you out of my thoughts," she said.

But they both knew that was an empty threat and he attempted to stifle a laugh with the back of his hand.

"Besides," she began, trying to sound convincing. "I'm not sure the Jedi would condone such uses of the Force." But her thundering pulse was a dead giveaway that she didn't really care too much for what the ancient Jedi thought.

 _Good thing they're not here to give their opinions._ He pressed a warm kiss to the back of her hand, letting his lips linger against her knuckles as he sent a light touch of Force up her arm.

She couldn't hide the tremor it sent through her body.

 _As much as I'd like to finish this,_ _your skin is like ice and… if you please,_ he pulled away now, and by his tone, it was obvious he was trying really hard to behave, _if you please, would you accompany me back to the Falcon?_

Then he stood and offered a chivalrous bow along with his outstretched hand. She gave him an unsightly pout before reluctantly taking his hand and letting him help her to her feet.

"I suppose that would be acceptable. Thank you for _asking_ ," she added with a barbed tone on the last word.

What she didn't say was that she'd much rather freeze to death if that meant he would just wrap her in that tight grip of passionate Force and do whatever it seemed like he was about to do to her. The thought warmed her from the inside out and she found that her shivers were gone. She could only hope he hadn't been listening too close to her thoughts as she found her discarded lightsaber in the grass and clipped it back to her belt.

Ben shrugged off his outer cloak as they began to walk and wrapped it tenderly around her shoulders. It was way too large and the hem dragged behind her, catching on the patches of longer grass and shrubs in the clearing. She hardly noticed, far too busy marveling at the way his arm fit so well around her shoulders as they walked together through the misty night back to the ship.

* * *

They returned to find the others were already asleep. Poe, Finn, and Chewie had taken one triple bunk, and Rose was in the other cabin in the top bunk lightly snoring.

As Rey stood staring at the empty bunks below Rose, contemplating her next move, she realized perhaps she should have thought this out better beforehand. It would be awkward to lie with Ben in the same room as her friend. That was if Ben even wanted to share a bed. Maybe she presumed too much. Maybe he preferred to sleep alone. Maybe he was forced to sleep in the World Between Worlds. Did he even need to sleep at all?

She avoided his gaze as she chewed her lip.

_Let's go to the bunk behind the lounge seat._

Relieved, she grabbed the backpack she'd stowed in the bottom bunk and followed Ben to the Dejarik table in the main living space. He looked down at her, reading her expression and drew back a bit, pressing his lips together. _Unless, I mean…_ He raked a nervous hand through his hair. _If you prefer to sleep alone._

Oh stars, now she'd made _him_ nervous. "No!, No, I don't want to." Her voice came out a bit louder than she'd intended, she adjusted her volume and continued. "I don't want to sleep alone, I mean. I just didn't want to assume this is what you wanted."

His shoulders relaxed and that twinkling mischief had returned to his eyes. _There will never be a time I'd choose to be away from you. You're stuck with me now, sweetheart._

He reached a hand to her face, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. Peace and contentment were the chorus down the Bond and she couldn't help but smile against his lips. She felt him smiling too, before he drew back from their kiss, and pressed his forehead against hers.

He gazed at her, his eyes filled with a boyish eagerness that was beyond endearing. _This still doesn't feel real. I can't believe this is us._

"Us," she repeated. "I like the sound of that."

She offered her most heartfelt smile, before she turned to rifle through her backpack, pulling out the only shirt she'd brought to sleep in.

His eyes shone with such adoration, that any embarrassment about what she'd thought was a childish attachment to his shirt vanished.

However, that embarrassing problem was quickly replaced with a new one. Where to change. Should she just change in front of him? He'd already seen and touched every part of her. Did that mean she should just go ahead and strip down? Oh stars, now her cheeks were hot, and she was probably redder than a salakberry.

Without saying a word, Ben turned away from her modestly, allowing her to strip off her damp clothes in privacy. She slipped his oversized shirt on, along with a fresh set of underthings and clambered over the lounge seat and into the bunk.

Ben followed, climbing in clumsily behind her. He was so comically large for the space, he had to fold himself against her to fit all the way.

Rey had never slept in this bunk before, preferring the privacy of the actual crew quarters.

 _This used to be my favorite place to sleep,_ he said.

Rey closed her eyes, focusing on the overwhelming comfort of that moment, nestled against his chest, finally warm, feeling his voice reverberate against her body as much as hearing it in her ears. _They couldn't close the door on me here, so I could listen to everything going on._

She felt him shift slightly under her and she opened her heavy eyes to investigate. He'd raised a hand, tracing something along the low ceiling of the bunk.

Lettering.

Sweeping black strokes of a pen against the yellowing cast-plast ceiling. It was a beautiful composition of symmetry and grace, lines of perfect parallel construction, flaring tails and runaway curls adding a dramatic elegance to each word.

" _There is no emotion, there is peace._

_There is no ignorance, there is knowledge._

_There is no passion, there is serenity._

_There is no chaos, there is harmony._

_There is no death, there is the Force."_

The Bond writhed uncomfortably, twisting with a guilty ache. And she understood.

"The Jedi code," she whispered. "Ben, did you do this?"

_Yes._

When he didn't offer more, she urged him with a gentle voice. "Tell me about it?"

Their connection stirred in an eddying stream of emotion and he took his time to answer. _I was fifteen. I'd already been training with Luke for several years and… Dad,_ he said, his voice catching on the word, _had picked me up to visit with my mother._

The mention of his parents amplified the ache of shame twining across their connection. She felt him reach for calm, pulling a bit of her warm energy to help him balance the dark feelings creeping into his Force.

He glanced at her briefly, to ensure this wasn't a violation of some sort. But Rey was happy to give Ben anything, so long as he just kept talking to her. She lifted her head from his chest long enough to let him see her smile and clutched him tighter to encourage him to continue.

_Even then, I knew I would fail to be the Jedi they all wanted me to be._

Rey could imagine a young Ben, trying so hard to live up to impossible expectations, lying alone and scared in this very bunk. The image tore at her heart and she reached out to run her fingers through his hair. She willed her hands to communicate the depth of her growing affection for him as she knew her words would never manage.

He squeezed her a little tighter.

When Ben finally spoke again, his voice was brittle, on the verge of shattering. _Now I realize, I hardly had a chance. Palpatine had been whispering thoughts into my mind since I can remember._

"I'm so sorry." And she didn't know what else to say. A deep, black sorrow had entrenched itself across their Bond and she willingly shared the burden. Ben's chest heaved a little underneath her head and she thought he might be crying. She felt the pinpricks of tears beginning behind her own eyes as she imagined Ben as a child, hearing _that_ voice as he tried to play ball with his Uncle Chewie or blocking out dark, twisted images as he sat on his Dad's lap to steer the Falcon.

His breathing was uneven now and she turned to look at him then. In the dim light, she could see the tears glistening in his eyes. His lips were drawn up into a tight, trembling frown and she could see his body was fighting the tears, as they probably had for so many years.

Ben Solo had never even learned to cry properly.

She wanted to tell him it was okay. That she understood. She wanted to hold him as he broke, crying the tears that he couldn't for so long. She wanted him to know that he could tell her anything. But as the silence stretched on, she just waited. Eventually, the rise and fall of his chest became more regular and he spoke again.

_I took up calligraphy. It gave me an outlet, and a way to make solid, the teachings of the Jedi. I hoped if I just repeated the words enough that I could rid myself of the passion, the chaos, the Darkness._

"An impossible standard," she said, thinking back to some of her most private fears while training with Leia. Rey had tried to rid herself of those same feelings, but they were always there, lurking like a loth-cat ready to pounce. "What if the Jedi had it wrong? What if passion and emotion can coexist with peace and harmony?"

_Luke would have said 'that's the Dark Side talking.'_

"Master Luke himself admitted he was wrong about a few things," she said.

_Yes, he was._

Another surge of indescribable heartbreak shot straight down the Bond and she felt it as if it were her own. Betrayal.

"Oh Ben," she said, reaching a finger to trace the letters spelling out the impossible ideals hanging over both of their heads.

They stared up at the words on the ceiling, and Rey tried to focus on the beauty of the script, appreciating the graceful hands of their creator as she laced her own fingers through his.

"I read something in one of the texts that struck me. Did you ever read the Grey Jedi Code?"

_Yes._

And Ben went on to recite the code as easily as one would recite the galactic alphabet.

" _Flowing through all, there is balance._

_There is no peace without a passion to create._

_There is no passion without peace to guide._

_Knowledge blinds without the strength to act._

_Power blinds without the serenity to see._

_There is freedom in life._

_There is purpose in death._

_The Force is all things and I am the Force."_

The dark and light. Balance. It made her think of the mosaic in the pool on Ahch-To. The image of a Jedi in meditation, created from tilework of white and black, juxtaposed in harmonious balance. Why then, were the Jedi so afraid of emotion and attachment, of passion and power?

 _It made so much sense to me,_ Ben said. _But Luke became upset that I'd taken the time to memorize such a thing. These ideas were dangerous, and he forbade me to speak of them again._

"If the Force is in constant balance, why shouldn't the Jedi be?"

Ben positioned her hand over his heart and covered it with his. And though he didn't speak the words, she understood his meaning _._ He was thanking her for understanding him, for accepting him as the Bond between them shone as bright and warm as Jakku's midday sun. She sighed contentedly, finding a way to burrow even closer against him.

"Goodnight Ben," she said.

_Goodnight._

And with their thoughts and bodies fully intertwined, she relaxed into his arms, listening to his steady breathing, letting it lull her into a place of complete tranquility. Her eyes eventually fell closed and she drifted off, safer and more at peace than she'd ever slept before.

* * *

Rey woke to the sound of muffled talking from down the corridor. She could have sworn Ben's voice was one of them.

She crawled out of the bunk, noting the lightsaber parts scattered across the Dejarik table, before she hastily dressed for the day. She followed the corridor, past the crew quarters and down the hallway. It was here in the open passageway that she found Ben standing squarely across from Finn.

Finn's knuckles were white, wrapped tight around Rey's lightsaber which was raised in a defensive position over one shoulder. The plasma blade's buzz echoed loudly in passageway as he stared hard at Ben.

Rey's heart lodged in her throat as her mind, still foggy from sleep, started to piece the scene together.

 _You're clumsier than a Bantha in a china shop,_ Ben said, laughing smugly.

Finn readjusted his grip on the saber. "Shut-up."

Rey rushed past Ben and put her hand out. "Finn, stop!" she yelled.

He froze, brows wrinkled in confusion. Ben shared the same look, then glancing back and forth between the two of them, he quirked a half-smile.

"Good morning," Ben said, his easy expression at odds with the situation he found himself in.

She divided a look between the two of them and Finn flicked the saber off.

"Rey, it's okay," Finn explained. "This arrogant Hutt-spawn was just showing me a few things."

All at once, she felt it. A third Force signature in the room. One that she'd only ever felt as a tiny glimmer, never like _this_ before. Realization was slow to dawn on her, but when it did, she still wasn't quite ready to believe it. "Wait," she said, leveling her gaze at Ben. "You were _training_ him?"

Finn responded through clenched teeth. "I saw him working on his lightsaber this morning, and he couldn't help but run his mouth."

Okay, so Finn wasn't exactly happy about this. But either way, this was happening. She continued to stare open-mouthed as Finn pushed down the blast-shield on his helmet, completely blocking his vision, and reignited her lightsaber. This _was_ a training exercise, she realized. He was talking tough, but the truth of it was, Finn was letting Ben _teach_ him.

Ben gave a three count before he resumed hurling small pieces of scrap from Rey's bucket of ruined saber parts at Finn for him to try to block with the saber.

An old powercell made its way through Finn's defense and struck him squarely on the shoulder.

"Ow, kriffing sithspit!" Finn rubbed his shoulder with his free hand, continuing the string of expletives under his breath. "This is pointless." He reached to pull the helmet off, but Ben stepped forward to catch his hand.

Rey tensed, expecting this to escalate to the place she'd been dreading, but Ben's voice was actually calm, encouraging even.

 _One more time,_ he said. _Shut down your conscious senses. Use your instincts._

Finn took a deep breath, and this time, she felt his energy brush against hers as he reached out through the Force, saber at the ready. Ben pulled another scrap from his bucket and threw it squarely at Finn, except this time, he cut through it, sending the two halves clattering against the durasteel compartment doors below him.

Finn pulled the helmet off in one smooth motion, his smile shining even brighter than her saber.

"That was amazing, I could really see the path of your throw," Finn said.

_Maybe you're not so hopeless after all._

Finn gave a narrow-eyed look of irritation at Ben, before softening as he turned to smile at Rey. "Everyone else is in the cockpit."

Rey nodded and started in that direction, elbowing Ben in the side as she passed, whispering into his ear. "You are going to have to tell me how that all got started."

He gave an innocent shrug before clasping her hand and following Finn.

In the cockpit, they came upon a heated conversation already in progress. Chewie was standing, rumbling a forceful suggestion to Poe. "Maz needs reinforcements? Then we go to her!"

"It's not that easy," Poe was arguing. "She's sent word of a Star Destroyer hanging around nearby. The one confirmed from the Sith Fleet."

"The Derriphan?" Rose asked, eyes going wide. "Near here?"

"She thinks so," Poe said. "Which means -"

"That ship has death star tech," Rey interrupted.

Dread hung heavy in the air and Finn's voice was dull and toneless under the weight of it. "That's the ship that destroyed Kijimi."

An alarm blared loudly over the Falcon's comm. In seconds, Rose was bent over the panel, stabbing at the communication controls. She pulled a headset over her ear and the expression that crossed her face was darker than the shadow of the Derriphan itself.

"We've got company," she said.


	13. Birthright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The incredible [JenniferLadyBug](https://jenniferladybug.tumblr.com) strikes again, and chapters 1-11 are now illustrated! Go check them out!
> 
> I've settled into a rhythm on this story and seem to update once midweek and once on the weekend. So next update on or before Thursday. This should be the regular schedule for a while.
> 
> I hope you're enjoying reading this as much as I am writing it! Will work for comments 😊 Talk Reylo to me!

"Stupid." Poe was mumbling to himself as he toggled a switch to illuminate the main sensor array and began the progression to fire up the engines. "So Maker-damned stupid. I should have realized they'd be watching this ship."

 _Or watching me_ , Rey thought. A cold chill scuttled down her spine as she recalled the feeling of dark eyes following her, stalking her across the galaxy from the In-Between. The Sith. _You can still save him. Meet me here and I will show you,_ Malak had said. It had been so easy to fall into Ben's arms and forget, but life had always been a cruel teacher and now she was paying for her complacency.

Rey took the co-pilot's chair, punching in the launch sequences to speed up their take-off as Chewie growled a question from behind her.

"No," Rose answered, hands balled into nervous fists, "the grids are still misaligned." She fished into one deep pocket, coming up with a spanner she'd obviously been keeping handy for the job, and scrambled toward the maintenance crawlway to finish her tweaks on the fore deflector shields.

"Ben's here too," Rey said, making the announcement in case she had to translate for her friends who couldn't hear him.

"Great, what a wonderful opportunity for him," Poe said, engaging the repulsorlift drive. "Not everyone gets a chance to die twice."

The ship shuddered to life, sending Chewie, Finn, and Ben who weren't seated, sidestepping to starboard as the Falcon listed uncontrollably.

 _That's why you give the repulsorlift drive at least twenty seconds to warm up!_ Ben was leaning over the back of the pilot's seat, complaining at full volume despite the pilot's inability to hear him.

"I don't think we have twenty seconds," Rey answered.

Chewie growled something about having tried to warn Poe a thousand times before.

"What?" Poe yelled. "I'm getting half a conversation here. I don't speak ghost, remember?" But he was distracted by another alert coming through the comm.

 _She doesn't handle as well if you don't give her the twenty count,_ Ben said, holding tight to the back of the captain's chair. _Those drives need time, otherwise she'll handle like a wet noodle._

"You aren't missing much," Finn said, cupping his hand to direct his speech to Poe, "Flyboy here is delusional, trying to give the best pilot in the galaxy advice about flying."

 _Best pilot in the galaxy?_ Ben gave Finn a sharp sidelong glance before grudgingly settling into the seat behind Poe with a huff.

"Get to the gun well." Poe gestured to Finn with one hand, and pulled at the control yoke with the other, maneuvering through the trees to stay low, glancing nervously at the sky. As if on cue, the unmistakable whine of a TIE's twin ion engine announced what they'd been dreading. "Hurry!" he added, though he didn't need to. Finn's boots were already pounding hard as he sprinted to the gunner's position.

Chewie strapped in behind Rey and Ben did the same behind Poe. The ship teetered to starboard again before Poe was able to correct, evening out over the canopy.

 _I told you,_ Ben mumbled under his breath.

The jungle was veiled in a thick morning mist as if the trees themselves clung to it for protection. Poe slid the Falcon into a wide arc to cut right through it, seeking cover from the heavy enemy presence to the west displayed on the sensor array. Unfortunately, as they cleared the edge of a vine-covered cliff, and Poe eased off the grips to even them out, three TIEs they hadn't detected streamed in from the east.

A red-orange indicator blinked to life on the console in front of Rey, alerting her that Finn had activated the ventral cannon. She slipped on a headset to communicate with him, just as a fourth ship roared by.

Poe snapped an order through his headset, "Tell Rose to get on the other gun!"

She could just hear Finn's voice over the engines, echoing down the hall as he yelled for Rose to take up the dorsal cannon.

Rey reached out with her feelings, trying to get a sense for how many ships there were.

"There, at ten o'clock." Rey jabbed a finger toward two more ships coming in.

Poe rotated the control grips and pitched the Falcon's nose upward into a backwards roll, leaving her stomach behind. This put Finn's gun in range and he fired, missing by a hair's breadth.

Ben jammed on his headset. _I take back what I said earlier. You_ are _hopeless._

"Who asked you?" Finn snapped. But Rey didn't miss the gentle ripple in the Force as Finn stretched out with his feelings before he sent another round of fire at an incoming TIE. This time, red bolts cut across the ship's wing, sending it careening into the trees before it erupted into a fiery mass.

Rey gripped the edge of her seat to keep from sliding out, as Poe maneuvered low, circling back to keep away from the village and setting them up for another shot.

A hollow fear settled in her chest as she sensed the approach of more ships.

 _There's too many of them,_ Ben said flatly.

"We need to get out of here, Poe," Rey said, "There are more incoming."

"Gladly," Poe adjusted his grip on the controls and the Falcon bucked like an angry Fathier, as he pushed hard on the throttle.

Rey aimed a blistering glare in his direction. "And _no_ lightspeed skipping this time."

"No promises," he said, white-knuckling the controls, barely dodging a mossy grove of thick-trunked ironwood trees.

 _What? He was_ skipping _?_ Ben looked absolutely scandalized by this exchange, running agitated hands through his hair as he forced himself back into his seat.

Unfortunately, their quick escape path was already blocked by more incoming fighters, including some approaching overhead which had already begun laying a blanket of laser fire in their direction. The ship lurched as it was struck along the dorsal shields.

 _Why aren't you using the SubLight Acceleration Motor?_ Ben was practically screaming at Poe now, desperately looking at Rey to translate.

"He's asking why you don't use the SubLight Acceleration Motor?" Rey repeated.

"The what?" Poe asked, slamming forward on the throttle to avoid hitting another TIE that had somehow entered their airspace not a hundred meters ahead.

Canon fire thundered against the ship's shields and Ben raised his voice even louder to be heard over the roar of engines and weapons. _To draw backup power from the systems we're not using!_

Rey hammered the controls to bolster the Falcon's aft shields as the TIEs passed, raining more fire from overhead.

Ben was standing now, leaning around the pilot's seat, stretching a long arm toward the instrument panel. He pulled on several levers, deactivating the lighting, circulation, and hyperdrive systems before pressing another unrecognizable sequence. This last adjustment sent a staggering surge of power through the thrust pressure manifold and they barreled ahead at a speed she was sure the Falcon hadn't seen for a long while.

At that moment, Ben grabbed one side of the control yoke, seemingly out of pure instinct, using all the extra thrust to steer around the web of TIEs who hadn't expected the sudden acceleration.

"What the hell?" Poe yelled, taking the controls back and elbowing the air, trying to move an invisible body out of his sacred piloting zone. "You are _not_ the captain here!"

Ben gritted his teeth in frustration but was still working at the controls. As he bent over the console again, it became clear that he was occupying some of the same space as Poe. Rey was finding it difficult to grasp the physics of this interaction, but she didn't have time to puzzle it out now. Alerts screamed from every panel in discordant wails, competing for which one could be the most obnoxious. She wished for BB-8's built-in fire extinguishers as she saw smoke alarms triggered near the ion flux stabilizer.

Before she even had to ask, Chewie was unstrapping himself and headed down the corridor.

Checking the viewport, she saw that Ben had managed to lose the half-dozen or so ships that had cut them off. She watched Poe from the corner of her eye as he exhaled, eyes narrowed at the controls in reluctant deliberation.

The calm didn't last long. Two new TIEs circled in tight formation ahead, engines howling and cannons already unleashing their full fire power directly at the front of the ship. She could only hope that Rose was finished with those last tweaks on the fore deflector shields, as she flicked a switch to divert more of their defenses up front.

Red bolts from the ventral cannon managed to clip one fighter, but it continued on course along with its partner in formation.

Back in the pilot's chair, there was a different battle being waged. A battle of wills. And Ben was not relenting. Poe could only watch, exasperated as switches were activated and controls were tweaked right under his nose. As the TIEs came around for a second pass, Ben pulled back hard on the throttle, flipping an auxiliary switch to funnel power to the sublight drive, and the Falcon spun with gut-wrenching finesse, putting them at a better angle to pursue the fighters.

Poe leaned back off the controls, mouth hanging slightly open. The Falcon had gone from prey to predator in a single fluid motion.

Rey smiled to herself as they screamed past the stunned fighters and slipped through a narrow opening in the forest before lining up a shot for Rose, who had finally activated the dorsal gun.

Rey couldn't see the shot, but she heard Rose's whoop of victory through her earpiece.

Finn's voice confirmed the hit. "Nice one."

With this last maneuver, Poe had now slid out of the pilot's seat completely, his hard stare thawing into an almost reverent gaze as he appreciated Ben's ease with the Falcon's touchy controls. Ben didn't hesitate to take his chance, stretching out to claim the captain's chair like the birthright it was. With eyes sharp and hands drifting deftly from yoke to grip to throttle, he worked the Falcon like an artist works clay. He was sculpting something beautiful, creating a synergy with the machine that she'd never seen, not since Han himself had been at the controls, and even then, she wasn't sure the famed Han Solo could have pulled off a maneuver like that.

She watched in silent admiration as Ben effortlessly bypassed systems to fuel extra thrusts of the engines when needed. She felt the Falcon's easy roll as he coordinated perfectly timed pushes of the foot pedals to control the yaw. She was overwhelmed by his pull on the Force, wave after wave of powerful sensation buzzed through her, as he used everything he had to feel for the best openings, to time his movements.

TIE pilots who dared to match his speed slammed into tree trunks, cliffsides, and each other. Those that didn't wreck were baited into the perfect position for Finn and Rose. And in the span of a few minutes, Ben had somehow managed to either lose or destroy an entire squadron of fighters.

Rey's adrenaline began to subside, replaced by a liquid warmth bubbling up inside of her as she gazed at Ben. She became suspended in the gravity of this moment, the weight of a dawning awareness as she realized...

Ben Solo was made for that captain's chair.

With his eyes focused out the viewport, his hands gripping the controls, and his heart fighting for something he truly believed in, he was home. He'd been lost for so long, but here… this was where he was always meant to be, at the helm of his father's ship.

And she could watch him like this forever.

He was a beautiful sight, and lost so deep in concentration, he didn't notice her eyes drinking him in. Brows furrowed, jaw clenched, and muscles taut with the exhilaration of flight, the intensity of his physical presence so close had her thinking of _other_ things. Her chest tightened, breathless, her stomach lurched and not from the barrel rolls, as she studiously followed his every motion - his hands fisting tight on the throttle, palms curling around the handgrips, lithe fingers sliding deftly over the switches and levers.

Stars, he could have been touching _her_ with the way she burned for him now. Swallowing hard, she adjusted herself awkwardly in her seat in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure building _there_. How he managed this without even looking at her...

She wasn't sure how long Poe had been yelling at her when she finally registered his voice nearby. "Rey!" he repeated, growing louder now. "Rey! Oh for Kriff's sake, Rey!"

She shook herself from her stupor, cheeks blazing with heat as she tried to attend to the new alarms buzzing all over the console.

"Sorry, sorry," she mumbled, avoiding Poe's questioning gaze at all costs. She buried herself in the action of flipping switches to quiet the alarms and patched through a waiting communication from the Free Worlds Fleet.

"Get out of there!" It was Maz Kanata's voice and it carried an urgency it rarely held.

 _Working on it,_ Ben responded, half under his breath as they barreled toward freedom with not a TIE in sight.

"Was that - ?" And Rey could hear the smile in Maz's voice, even from behind the staticky Falcon's comm system.

"Don't tell me," Poe said, shaking his head. "You can hear him, too?"

"As clearly as I hear you, General," Maz answered. "And you'll need all the help you can get if you're to meet us on Corellia. And hurry up about it, BB-8 has been a pain, I think he misses you already."

"You sure that's wise? Meeting on Corellia?" Poe asked, "We'd definitely be coming in hot."

"We need you here, the crew you sent uncovered a splinter group of Sith Loyalists. The Acolytes of the Beyond, Vader supporters since the Battle of Endor," she said. "We think they've got something to do with this re-organization of the remaining Sith and First Order fleets."

"They're there?!" Rey's adrenaline was back in an instant. Could these Acolytes be the remnant of the Sith Eternal that Malak had warned about? She wondered if freeing Ben from the World Between Worlds could be as simple as destroying these Sith Loyalists. "You found them?"

"Just a small subset of their operation, but it's a start," Maz said. "Now get out of there. There may be more than one Star Destroyer headed your way."

"Wonderful," Poe said.

"Just get clear and I'll send you coordinates. And Ben Solo?" Maz asked, pausing long enough for Rey to wonder if her signal had been lost.

 _Yes?_ Ben finally responded and Rey had to wonder if Maz was just testing his reaction to his given name.

"I believe that ship belongs to you, now. Your father would have wanted you to have it."

Rey watched as a dozen expressions seemed to chase across Ben's face and she felt each one directly through the Bond. A wince - shock, then he was chewing his lip - guilt, after a moment, his brows finally relaxed and he was able to respond.

 _Thank you,_ he said _. But I don't think I've earned it yet._

"You'd better get to work then, Solo," she responded, followed by dead air indicating she'd cut the connection.

Ben's throat bobbed in a hard swallow and he was leaning forward, checking the scanners, and plotting the best course away from Yavin IV.

Rey had no doubt that Ben would work for the rest of his days trying to convince himself he deserved his parents' legacy. The thought was both heart wrenching and heart warming all at once.

"TIEs coming in again," Poe warned, pointing to the sensor array.

_I see them._

"Does he see them?" Poe asked Rey. She'd almost forgotten he couldn't hear Ben. A pilot who couldn't communicate with his crew. This was going to be a problem.

Ben circled back toward the village which the scanners indicated was still clear of enemy ships. And as the Falcon dipped low to circle around, Rey took one last look at the sprawling branches of the Great Tree below before Ben lifted the Falcon's nose toward what was clear sky a moment ago.

But now, the shadow of a second Star Destroyer hung menacingly in the blue sky.

Poe slammed a hand against the back of the pilot's seat in frustration. "Where the hell did _that_ come from?!"

_Just came out of hyperspace._

Rey translated.

Ben pulled on the controls yet again, adjusting his path out of the atmosphere.

An impossible crash, like a thousand thunderclaps all at once erupted from the surface of Yavin IV. Rey peered through the viewport, eyes widening to take in the pillar of smoke and flame boiling up from the grassy clearing where the Great Tree had been. A geyser of red and orange spouted up from the earth, cycling through the colors again and again, red, orange, red, orange, as the cloud of flame grew. Then, finally reaching its apex, the color gave way to the dull hues of smoke and ash.

The aftershock of the explosion reached the Falcon a moment later, punishing the ship with shuddering heat and Ben…

Ben should have been seizing the controls to even them out. Ben would have handled it easily, with a twist of his palm and a rock of the throttle.

But the pilot's seat was empty.

The Falcon listed dangerously, succumbing to the shock of the blast.

"What's he doing?" Poe was screaming.

"What's going on up there?" came Finn's simultaneous demand through the earpiece.

"He's gone!" Rey said, reaching to steady the controls, desperate to stay focused on their escape and not the pain of Ben's abrupt disappearance and the complete silencing of the Bond.

Poe was scrambling over the pilot's seat, taking control again, tugging at the control yoke to smooth them out. TIEs screamed closer again, but Ben's head start had given them a chance, and Poe kept them speeding toward the safety of space.

Rey snuck a look down at the village and the clearing, knowing what she would find, but needing to see it anyway.

She put a hand to her mouth, not just to stifle her anguished cry, but to try to push back the dark emotions welling up inside of her. Where the Great Uneti Tree once stood, lay a smoking crater, and what was left of the sacred tree was now raining down over Poe's village as ash.


	14. Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank you all enough for your kudos and comments. There is nothing more exciting to me than seeing a new comment and hearing your thoughts. So thank you!
> 
> You all are in for a huge treat! I sent the chapter along to [JenniferLadyBug](https://JenniferLadyBug.tumblr.com) ahead of time and she was able to fully illustrate it in time for today's update! 
> 
> Next chapter by Sunday! Thank you again for reading <3

Rey paced the Falcon's corridors alone. The only sounds were the drone of the engines and her boots pounding a cathartic beat against the floor as she circled again and again. Her friends knew by now not to interrupt when she was in a mood like this. So they stayed cloistered in the cockpit, speaking in hushed tones as Rey tried to _move_.

They had only just barely escaped the Sith Fleet. How had they known where to find them?

The Falcon couldn't have been tracked. Rey had looked it over a thousand times since they'd recovered it from the First Order. She'd stripped off anything that even remotely looked like it could hide a tracking device.

The only explanation was Malak and the Sith. They could somehow communicate with the crew of the Derriphan and the other remaining ships of the Sith Eternal Fleet. They had known about the Great Tree and the power it held for her and Ben.

And they'd taken it away.

They'd taken _him_ away.

Rey eventually retreated to the lounge to be alone with her murderous thoughts. Malak and the other Sith would fall and Rey was going to be the one to topple them. Pins and needles in her fingertips were the first sign that she was tipping, falling into that angry abyss. She tried to breathe. Focusing on one lung-filling breath after another until the rage drained from her and she was just… empty.

She sank heavily into the lounge seat, propping her head on her hands. She sat there for what could have been hours, until she surfaced from her own thoughts long enough to see that pieces of Ben's lightsaber had slid off the Dejarik table during their frenzied escape and were now scattered everywhere on the floor of the Falcon's main hold.

She sighed, carefully collecting the parts on hands and knees and placing them back in their box and onto the table. He'd made good progress last night, she thought, reaching for his nearly finished saber. She'd suspected a re-build would be much faster than starting from scratch. In fact, there were just a few more circuits to connect near the energy modulator, but the sheath had already been sealed around the crystal and most of the wiring was fitted to the harness.

She appreciated the build he'd chosen. The hilt, he'd formed from both black and silver casing, raised ridges added grip and a touch of ornamentation that had been lacking from Kylo Ren's weapon. It was still a vicious-looking thing, the lateral vents adding sharp angles to the graceful weapon. But then again, Ben Solo, she'd learned, had his own sharpness to him. Even now, having shed the persona of Kylo Ren, he was still the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo. A few sharp edges were to be expected.

[ ](https://imgur.com/8AIvmeg)

She turned the weapon over and over in her palms, running fingers over the corrugated metal near the pommel, imagining what it would look like held tight in Ben's fist as they faced the Sith together. When the plasma blade hummed to life in his hand, would it hiss and spit like his old saber? Would the healing of the crystal have changed its color?

"You okay?" Rose's voice drifted softly over the hum of the hyperdrive.

"Yeah."

"Yeah?" Rose blew out a noisy breath. "Not convinced."

Rey nodded, not bothering to argue knowing that Rose could read her easily. Eventually, she turned to find the others there, too, wearing varying expressions of concern.

"Come on Rey," Rose said, placing a gentle hand on her arm. "You can't keep doing this. Shutting everyone out."

Rose sat at the lounge and patted the spot next to her. Rey took the seat, continuing to run fingers over the weapon's hilt as she grappled with just how much to tell them.

"It's just – I'm just disappointed," Rey said, purposely choosing the word 'disappointed' instead of 'desperately homicidal' or 'filled with murderous rage.' She didn't want to worry them with the true scope of the emotions mangling up her insides.

With a short growl, Chewie cut to the heart of the problem. "Rey loves Solo Pup."

Leave it to Chewie to put it all out there for her.

Poe and Finn shared a glance, and Rey was forced to start talking. "I – I don't know about that," she began, but the denial tasted sour on her lips, and for the first time she was forced to consider that maybe the Wookiee was closer to the truth than she was ready to admit.

"But…" she fumbled for the words to continue, "but we do share a connection. And I feel … it's hard to be apart."

"Because of the Bond?" Finn asked.

And Rey thought it did seem safer to blame all of her feelings for Ben on the Bond. She couldn't tell them everything. Not yet. She couldn't put voice to the way she wanted to do nothing but talk to him, stare at him, touch him _all_ the time, the way she felt positively explosivewhen something threatened him.

"Yes," she said. "I told you about the power of a Force Dyad? That when he saved me, he passed into the World Between Worlds…" she took a deep breath, steeling herself to continue. "Well, the Great Tree had some kind of connection to that In-Between World. It made it easier for us to connect, for him to appear to me."

"And they destroyed it," Rose said, knitting sympathetic brows together as she propped her head on an elbow at the table.

Rey nodded.

"Does that mean you can't see him anymore?" she asked.

"Well, no," Rey admitted. "We weren't anywhere near the tree on Ajan Kloss, and he came to me several times there."

Rose offered a weak smile. "Then he's not gone."

"No," she said. "It just takes a lot of Force energy to appear physically. Without the help of the Great Tree's connection, I may not see him for a while."

"But that's not everything is it?" Finn asked almost immediately. "Because now the Sith are in the World Between Worlds?" Finn scooted in to take a seat next to her on the lounge. "With Ben." Her friend hesitated at the name, and Rey had to wonder if he was going to slip and call him Hutt-spawn again, only stopping short on her behalf.

"Yes," she said, swallowing back a lump of emotion, thinking of Ben trapped in the In-Between alone. With _them_. "The remaining Sith Loyalists are working to somehow restore the spirits of Sith. Meanwhile, they're just waiting to siphon the power of our Bond. If they get it, they seem to think they can return."

Rose frowned but didn't speak.

Rey continued. "If I want to help Ben get out of the World Between Worlds, I will need to find a way to defeat these Sith."

" _We_ will need to find a way," Finn corrected.

"Thank you, Finn," Poe said, scooting in on Rey's other side. "How many times do we have to go over this." But Poe's tone was light, and his easy smile melted away some of the strain of holding onto this burden by herself.

Chewie growled his assent and Rose reached out a hand, placing it on the back of hers as Rey continued to clutch Ben's lightsaber.

Her friends wouldn't let her do this alone.

[ ](https://imgur.com/bU797eT)

The Falcon skimmed low over the dark seas bordering Coronet City. The ocean, slicked with oil, reflected the sky's light into thin, greasy rainbows as ships unloaded cargo at the docks nearby. Soon, the needle-sharp spires adorning the city's skyscrapers came into view from behind the smothering haze of pollution. All the while, starships circled the main spaceport like flies around a carcass.

Rey immediately wished they could turn around and go back to their cozy little jungle on Ajan Kloss. There was a disturbing lack of green here. Actually, there was a disturbing lack of any open land at all.

The worst thing about it was the way the capital swarmed with life. Like a hive of bees, it buzzed in her ears and in the Force, pressing on Rey's senses until she felt that she might implode. This was not the quiet backwater Jakku. This was a bustling Core World and she was not accustomed to blocking out this much noise.

Maz and her team were holed up in the Teeno Village District, using a friend's old art studio as their base of operations. Maz wasn't worried about being followed, as they wouldn't be here long.

Poe brought the Falcon down where Maz had indicated, in a makeshift hangar that was once used to host art auctions, before the district fell to "spicers and other such riff raff" according to Maz.

One uneventful landing later, they were greeting Maz in the main room of the studio. It was a quaint little place, hexagonal windows with lattice style panes brought in light from the paved street outside. Shelves displayed sculptures and vases - products of the art studio no doubt - and the whole place had the smell of old wood. It was not what Rey had expected for a meeting of this kind.

"Chewbacca," Maz said, rising from her chair in the corner to greet them. Standing, she still only came up to the Wookiee's waist. "Generals," she nodded to Poe and Finn. "Rose… Rey," then she paused, looking around. "Solo…"

Rey frowned, eyes darting to each corner of the room. If Rey couldn't see him, how could Maz?

But Maz only smiled, "Just because you can't see him, doesn't mean he's not here."

Rey warmed at that, the thought of Ben always being with her thawed a bit of her heart that she didn't realize had frozen over.

Just then, BB-8's shrill whistle cut through the awkward silence and Poe ran to kneel before him, running his hands along his panels checking for broken parts, straightening his antennae, and patting the faithful little astromech with loving hands.

"Come, have a seat," Maz said, directing them to a long wooden table at the far side of the room where Captain Beaumont Kin already sat, flashing them a wide smile in greeting.

"We don't have long, but you need to know who you are dealing with here," Kin said.

They took seats around the table with Maz climbing into hers last and raising a pitcher of some steaming substance that Rey could only guess was tea and offering each of them a mug which they took, graciously.

Mug in hand, Maz began to explain. "Lando, Jannah, and Connix have the fleet in orbit around the Mon Calamari shipyards. We fear the Sith remnant may attempt to disrupt shipbuilding there in the same way we are here trying to disrupt the operations of the Sith. We cannot lose those shipyards."

Poe nodded, chewing his lip. "That leaves us spread out."

Maz nodded. "The First Order had a strong grip on this planet. It was easy for the Sith to swoop in and pluck up the pieces. The people don't want a disruption to business, and they don't care who is funding it."

"Tell me about the Acolytes of the Beyond," Rey said, growing impatient of politics and wanting to get to the root of the problem.

"They formed after the Battle of Endor, staging a revolution here in Coronet City five years later. Ochi, the Sith Loyalist who killed your parents, was one of these Acolytes."

Rey tasted bile and forced herself to swallow it back.

A thick hush blanketed the room as Maz continued. "They've been collecting Sith artifacts since that time, practicing Sith alchemy, working in darkness. The Acolytes believe these items, infused with the power of the Dark Side, can strengthen the connection the spirits of the Sith have to the physical world. They believe there is a way to bring them back."

"That's a crock of bantha scat," Poe said. "Everyone knows those Vader supporters were just extremists with no real power."

Maz leaned across the table, lifting her oversized spectacles and staring hard at Poe. "Be careful, General. Underestimating your enemy is a grave mistake."

Then she settled back onto her seat and sipped her tea as though she'd said nothing of consequence.

"Where are they?" Rey could hear the obvious strain in her voice and hoped the others didn't notice. But she was sure they could see how tense she was, how overwhelmed she was with the need to _do_ something. These Acolytes, associated with the murder of her parents, needed to be eliminated. And Rey, forced to sit calmly sipping a cup of tea, was fighting a losing battle within herself. Calm was becoming a state of mind more and more difficult to maintain.

"Don't be so fast to rush into violence," Maz said, giving Rey the same hard stare she'd just given Poe. "These acolytes may be foolish, but the power they wield and the masters they work for have generations of experience in the Darkness."

"Should we wait as they become _more_ powerful?" Rey said, unable to contain the rising tide of anger pushing to escape.

"Just be sure you are ready," Maz said, and Rey had no trouble reading the subtext of her warning.

Maz took the time to gaze at each of their faces in turn, peering at them from over her steaming cup. When she finally spoke, her voice was low, a warning. "They've continued to work from Diadem Square. And we think Ochi's son may be a key player in their operation."

Rey pushed out hard from the table to stand, her toppled chair clattering on the floor behind her.

Maz, too, rose and gestured to the others. "Captain Kin, would you please head to the conference room to finish debriefing the Generals and the rest of their team. I'd like to speak with Rey."

Feeling a bit like a child being scolded, she watched the others follow Kin, leaving her and Maz in silence.

Maz gestured with a nod of her head, encouraging Rey to take her seat. With ears hot from embarrassment, she righted her chair and sat facing opposite her again. Maz gave a half-smile and pushed a plate of sugar-dusted sweetbreads in her direction, which Rey politely declined.

Maz shrugged and snatched one up, speaking again through sugar coated lips. "I once told Finn, that I often see the same eyes in different people."

Rey tried to focus on Maz's words, knowing that she had a century of experience, knowing that she had a link to the Force, but with fear circulating like a disease through her blood, it was difficult to attend to anything. Still, she tried.

"I think you should know," Maz said, voice heavy with truth, "the same applies to you Rey. You and Ben Solo," She leaned in, studying her for a moment, eyes boring into her through those thick spectacles. "A true dyad in the Force has not been seen since Darth Revan and Bastila Shan."

Rey was rubbing her forehead. "What are you saying?"

"The Force works in mysterious ways."

Rey wanted to grab Maz's shoulders and shake her. She was so tired of cryptic answers to every question. Master Luke, Leia, Maz - she could never get a straight answer from anyone.

"You've found your belonging," Maz said, reaching a thin hand across the table and placing it gently on hers. "And now it is time for you to fight for it. Just be careful the fight doesn't drag you to some place from which there is no return."

[ ](https://imgur.com/BffO3LN)

Rey took her first drink of the tea, hoping it would soothe the cold chill that clung to her skin.

"Few have travelled to the World Between Worlds and come back," Maz said, almost as an afterthought.

"Who? How can I get there?"

"I know of a Jedi. Ezra Bridger," she said. "He was able to cross over at the Jedi Temple on Lothal, but the temple was destroyed to seal the entrance, to keep Emperor Palpatine from journeying there."

Rey leaned forward, hands fisted so hard she could feel the cut of her nails against her palms. "How can I get there if it's destroyed?"

"That, dear child, is a mystery to me as well."

And with that, Maz Kanata shoved the rest of the sweetbread into her mouth and walked away, leaving Rey to wonder at the weighty implication of Maz's veiled suspicions about Revan and Bastila and the hopelessly daunting task of entering the World Between Worlds through an opening that no longer existed.

It took every last ounce of patience Rey had, to keep from pounding her fists on the table in frustration.

* * *

The sun hung lower now, and the shadows cast by the tallest of the city's spires reached to strangle the light from the streets of Coronet City below. Rey's heart hammered to the rhythm of her footsteps as she marched toward Diadem Square. Poe and Finn insisted on leading, being more familiar with Corellia than she was. Chewie and Rose took up the rear, leaving Rey in the middle of the group.

The plan was to infiltrate, to gather information on how to stop the Acolytes from continuing to strengthen the Sith in the World Between Worlds and to get a better idea of their remaining fleet's capabilities. It was an in and out job.

They'd reached the square using the city's rocket tram system, and having changed into working class Corellian dress, they didn't attract too much attention. Rey's hooded work coat was two sizes too big but left plenty of room underneath for her lightsaber and a blaster rifle. Poe, Finn, and Rose could have been machinists on the way home from a long day. And Chewie, well, there was no way to hide him so they just hoped he wouldn't attract too much attention.

Poe stopped abruptly at the corner of a building, hand clutching the blaster inside of his coat, and peered around the corner. They'd reached Diadem Square, an open space set with old tiled stonework, crumbling statues, and deteriorating fountains that no longer held water.

There were no crowds here and Rey attributed that to the greasy taint of the Dark Side that hung thick in the air. She breathed in the heavy scent, feeling the Force ripple cold against her skin, letting it guide her toward their mission.

"This way," she said, cutting through Finn and Poe and leading the way toward a line of rusted metal doors at the far end of the square.

Rey pointed to the second door, and Poe approached, crouching as he rummaged through his pack to find his cyberpick to begin to work on the lock release.

Precious minutes passed as Poe worked at the lock and anticipation had Rey's heart beating like a caged animal against her ribcage. They didn't have this kind of time. Rey had to know what the Sith were doing in there. She needed to get to Ben and she didn't care how she had to do it. She needed to get through that door. Now.

She sent a sudden blast of Force against the metal door. It didn't even have a chance to groan its protest before it was sent barreling to the other side of an empty room, ringing loudly against the stone wall as it struck hard.

"So much for stealth," Poe muttered from behind her as Rey rushed in.

Blaster fire echoed shrilly in the cramped space and her lightsaber ignited in her hand with one wicked flick of her wrist. She squinted as her vision adjusted to the darkened room before dashing through the narrow entry, heedless of how many enemies there were or what they happened to be screaming at her.

Her pulse thundered in her ears as dark power lapped like waves around her. The sensation sent a shiver through her as she spotted several shadowy figures moving against the far wall of the first room. The Force was building to a quivering crescendo now, tightening her muscles and sending tingles down her arms and into her fingertips.

The figures shifted, studying her, but she never really saw them. The energy of the Force roared through her veins and instead of the acolytes, she saw the contorted faces of her parents as they sacrificed themselves to keep her safe. She saw Ben's body disappear as he passed into the In-Between. And now _these_ robed acolytes who had murdered her parents, were keeping Ben from her. These acolytes were responsible for this bottomless ache inside of her.

She was not going to lose Ben like she lost her parents.

So when the first hooded figure stepped toward her, raising a staff, she didn't hesitate. In a wide sweep of her saber, she cut through both weapon and wielder, sending his smoking remains toppling to the stone floor.

[ ](https://imgur.com/pmUQa7M)

More black-clad acolytes rushed to meet her, raising chop-axes, machine shop blades, and clubs in defense before falling one by one to her saber. Rey was oblivious to anything but the burning wrath of her yellow blade, as it dealt out vengeance fiercer than a Mustafar lava storm. Each slice, each searing blow brought her closer to Ben, closer to filling that inextricable void eating away at her insides.

Somewhere far away, she heard her friends calling for her to follow, having found something of interest, but she was blazing now with the adrenaline of the fight. Seeing only the dying eyes of these monsters who dared to keep her from the other half of her soul.

Sweat streamed from every pore and her breaths came in heaving gasps by the time she reached the far chamber where she felt the Darkness at its most potent. She stepped through the low entrance, the humid air of the inner chamber wrapping around her face like a damp mask. Peering around the dank space, she let her eyes rove over countless vials and tubes, containers filled with viscous liquid, unidentifiable tissue, and other morbid experiments that transported her memory back to Exegol.

And just like on Exegol, there was something else here. Something calling to her, begging her to come closer. Chanting. Whispers. The cacophonous sound of a hundred hissing voices crashing together in her mind and she had to find its source. Its power hummed through the Force, seeming to connect all of space and time in those whispers.

A figure stepped out from a darkened corner. His features were mostly obscured by his dark hooded robe, but she could just make out the scaly yellow skin and small beady eyes of a Bestoonian.

[ ](https://imgur.com/6Slq87D)

"Rey Palpatine," he rasped, in a reptilian voice that carried an eerily familiar quality. "The Sith who reside in the World Between warned me you would come. As my father, Ochi, was the one to execute your parents, I'm sure you can appreciate the irony of our meeting."

"Poetic indeed, that I be the one to kill you now," she snapped.

"So it seems," he said, eyes darting to the lightsaber still buzzing angrily in her hand. "But what I do for the Sith Eternal will ensure my sacrifice is for the greater good. I do not fear death."

Rey was not sure why, but she laughed then, a cold sardonic thing whose echo chilled her when it resounded off the chamber's walls.

Ochi's son stared hard at her, black eyes reflecting the dim light of the lanterns hanging along the walls. He nodded to himself as though following an invisible order and pulled something from his inner robes. The hissing voices intensified. Whatever he held, _this_ was the source of that mysterious energy radiating throughout this place.

"The Acolytes of the Beyond offer this gift to the granddaughter of Darth Sidious. It belonged to the late Emperor himself."

As he uncurled his scaly fingers, Rey could see the distinctive shape of a lightsaber in his palm. He flipped a switch and a crimson blade cut through the empty space between them. The hilt of this saber was smooth electrum, ornamented with gold accents near the pommel. An elegant weapon for someone so depraved and Rey could feel the power it emanated.

Ochi's son wore something that might have passed for a smile on his thin, reptilian lips.

"This weapon is imbued with the Dark Side. It holds the power to connect with the Sith beyond."

She closed her eyes to focus on the weapon. She felt its energy snaking everywhere in the Force, twisting and curling around the web of balance connecting all living things. And it called to her, in whispers and screams, nightmares and dreams, and most of all with the promise of a secret. It offered a connection to the Sith lurking in the In-Between and with it, the power to return Ben to her. She would need that link to the Sith to find them and destroy them.

_Rey._

Her hand, which had already begun reaching for the weapon, froze. She whipped her head around, searching for the source of the voice. She closed her eyes to focus on the Bond.

"Ben," she choked on his name, rage having tightened every muscle in her body to the point she could hardly speak.

_Rey, we'll find a way without it._

But something ripped inside of her in that instant. She felt a tearing down the Bond, a strangling cinch of a noose around that sacred connection. And just like in her vision at the Great Tree, she was falling into an endless abyss of empty space. The crushing weight of nothingness pressed hard against her body, squeezing her hold on Force, stifling the Bond, and crushing her heartin its grasp. Rey panicked, falling to her knees as she cried out.

She struggled to suck air into lungs that no longer remembered how to expand and tried to force out his name again, "Ben."

Ochi's son seemed confused for a moment, cocking his head to one side to study her unexpected reaction. Then, with one swift motion, he flicked off the saber and proffered it to her in his open palm.

A lifeline. To Ben. To the World Between Worlds.

And with a storm of ice flowing through her veins and a coil of darkness twisted around the Bond, Rey reached up toward the son of Ochi and wrapped trembling fingers around the cold hilt of her grandfather's lightsaber.

[](https://imgur.com/oPvEXVD)


	15. Ice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello amazing readers! You probably noticed that this is a joint project now - with myself, Sweetestcondition doing the writing, and [JenniferLadyBug](https://jenniferladybug.tumblr.com) with the illustrations. She's now an official contributor. We are a team. A dyad in the Force! Tumblr links above, so check us out!
> 
> I want to thank everyone for the incredible comments you've been leaving, it means a lot to hear you guys are out there waiting for the next installment. This kind of project takes an incredible amount of time and with a full time job, its easy to lose steam. But you continue to support this story and it means the world to me! Spread the love, tell your Reylo friends about us <3 And if you've never commented before, tell us hello!
> 
> Next chapter by midweek if all goes according to plan!

As Rey's fingers tightened around the Palpatine saber, the whispers in her mind roared to life again, ten times as loud as before. The mass of overlapping tones snarled and buzzed before finally synchronizing, becoming one voice.

A voice that she recognized. There was no mistaking that harsh drawl filtering through his modulator.

 _Rey Palpatine,_ he said.

"Malak."

And she didn't bother looking around for him. She knew he was someplace beyond this world.

_It seems you are not as immune to the darkness as you liked to believe._

"Shut up," Rey hissed. "I haven't joined you."

 _Of course not._ He said, in a frustrating monotone. _Not yet._

The world spun on its axis and a heaving tension at her core announced the opening of the Bond. But something was wrong, she couldn't feel the gentle pull of Ben's warmth in the Force, and that crushing pressure was there again, exacerbating the open wound that had been torn across their connection. It wrenched harder, pulling a cry from her lips as something horrifying writhed at the other end. Ben's agonized screams filled her mind. He was breathing hard, his pounding heartbeat like cannonfire in her ears. What were they _doing_ to him _?_

"Leave him alone!" The words ripped from her throat with such violence she thought she felt something rupture inside.

_Come to Lothal._

"There's no way in! The temple was destroyed!"

But just as he'd arrived in a roar of whispers, so he was leaving. A hundred moving tongues hissing words she couldn't understand before the voices went quiet and she was left staring at the black eyes of Ochi's son.

She gripped the Palpatine saber in her clammy hand as anger flowed into the empty hole inside of her like a rising glacial tide. The Sith were manipulating the Bond, using it to somehow punish Ben and she was helpless. She didn't have the power to reach him.

But she would find that power.

Tears pricked like needles behind her eyes as rage trickled down her arms and into her fingers, building into a painful fullness begging for release.

She clenched her jaw, staring hard at the son of her parents' murderer. She could still hear their cries as they begged for mercy, mixing with Ben's screams from the In-Between, and all control vaporized under the intensity of her fury. The pressure of her anger broke through her walls and in one violent shudder, her wrath was unleashed. Blue lightning streaked from the fingertips of her free hand, dancing and licking around the hooded face of Ochi's son. His mouth stretched into a perverse "O "as he staggered back, falling to his knees. Dark Force pumped through her, crashing in her ears and clouding her vision.

When she finally relented, curls of smoke rose from his skin, filling the air with the sour stench of burnt flesh. Rey pulled her own saber from her waistband and held it next to Palpatine's, igniting them as a pair.

She stepped forward, making a cross of red and gold, and pressed it to the Bestoonian's throat. Rey slashed with both sabers at once, scissoring through the flesh of his neck with a frothy hiss. She watched, completely unfeeling as his head lolled grotesquely from his shoulders and rolled onto the floor, followed by the sickening smack of the rest of his body as it too, struck the ground.

Numbness crawled over her skin as she stared at the mangled remains of Ochi's son. The Sith Eternal would pay for what they'd done. How dare they lift a finger to that sacred Bond? She would find them and hunt them down, no matter where the search took her. She would meet the Sith at Death's door if it meant saving Ben. She would get to the World Between Worlds no matter the cost.

She stood there until her breaths evened out, sabers still ignited in her hands until someone cleared their throat behind her.

She turned to see Finn, mouth agape. "Rey, what…"

She followed his gaze as it roved over the trail of bodies she'd left behind, finally settling on the red saber in her hand.

Flicking the weapon off, she tried in vain to wipe away the hate from her expression, to appear controlled.

"What happened?"

She clipped both sabers to her belt, making sure they were out of sight under her jacket, and crossed the chamber toward Finn.

"I dealt with the acolytes," she said, not knowing what else he expected her to say and feeling impatient that he'd even asked.

"I can see that," he said, wrinkling his nose at the charred, bloody mess she'd left behind as they navigated their way to the door and back out to Diadem Square, "but, uh… didn't you hear us calling you? We found records in the room just past the entry. Data chips. They probably have everything we need."

"I heard you, but Ochi's son was here," she said.

Finn averted his eyes from the pile of bodies at his feet, as he navigated through the scattered remains to reach the door. "Did you learn anything?"

"No," she said, realizing she'd never questioned any of them about their connection to the Sith Fleet. She'd never asked them anything.

She shivered, crossing her arms and clutching herself.

Rey pulled her jacket's hood over her head and stepped out into the square. Twilight hung over the city now and her friends were already waiting, leaning against a nearby wall like they'd been there a while.

"There you are," Rose said, the lightness in her voice a stark contrast to weight of the anger Rey still carried on her shoulders.

Rey couldn't even manage a weak smile and Rose noticed, wrinkling her brows in response, but mercifully, she stayed quiet.

"Let's get out of here," Poe said, turning to lead the way back down the street.

As Rey followed her friends to the tram station her steps felt heavier than they'd ever been. She continued to push herself forward, trying to ignore the source of the burden clipped to her waist, weighing her down like an anchor carved from ice.

* * *

Sometime later, Rey found herself at the wooden table across from Maz Kanata again. They had downloaded the datachips into BB-8's system and discovered the Sith Fleet had a half-dozen Star Destroyers who'd been off Exegol during the battle. Each of these had the same weapons systems, including the Death Star tech they'd feared.

Poe was staring hard at the data pad in his hands. "Where are they?"

"We only saw two on Yavin IV," Rose said.

"It's like they're holding back," Finn said, swiping through data readouts at a furious pace. "If they wanted to do something, now would be the time. While we're split up and still trying to organize."

"They don't want to destroy us." Rey said. "Yet." They were the first words she'd spoken in hours and her voice sounded strangely hollow to herself.

"Why would they wait?" Poe said, considering her from under lowered brows.

Rey found it difficult to add any emotion to her voice as she responded. "They won't risk destroying me until they have the power of the Dyad."

"But they can't get it unless you go to the World Between Worlds," Finn said.

She nodded.

The color drained from their faces all at once.

"But the only way to help Ben is to go there," Rose said. "Isn't it?"

Maz was staring now, eyes fixed on Rey and she adjusted her coat, making sure the hilt of the second saber wasn't visible. Somehow, she still felt exposed as Maz continued to study her.

"You must do what you feel is right, Rey." The older woman's knowing voice would have made her feel vulnerable, if she'd cared enough to think on Maz's words. But Rey had already made her decision. This was the only way and she didn't care to contemplate what might happen if she failed. That was not an option. So, swallowing hard, she averted her gaze, pretending to feign interest in one of the datapads on the table until they all stopped staring at her.

* * *

Rey paused only for a heartbeat, adjusting the laces on her boots, and continued her determined march through the art district. She needed to walk, so she strode through the streets as if she had some place to go. She pressed her legs forward despite their protesting aches. How long she'd been walking she couldn't say. But she couldn't be confined inside with her friends. Four walls felt like a cage. And she would not be shut in. Not tonight.

She promised she'd be back soon. They needed to leave by dawn, to put space between them and the Sith Eternal, who'd probably been alerted to their presence. But the others were in desperate need of sleep first.

That gave her a few hours.

Her tour of the district had taken her past the windows of the wealthy families just north of the Teeno Village District. She stood in the shadows, watching one family warm by their hearth. Such an antiquated comfort to be found in a Corellian home. A middle-aged couple sat together on a large claw-legged chair. Two boys were engaged in a game of dice on the floor, the firelight playing across their smiling faces. Rey was stricken by the warmth of the scene. She took in the red velvet upholstery, the low crackling fire, and the woman's posture as she lazed across her husband's lap with a leather-bound tome. How pathetic she must look. Cold and hiding in the shadows, pacing circles around the city, weighed down by a thousand pounds of rage.

She slumped against the manor's wall and let her thoughts drift. She stayed in that spot for an hour at least, gradually letting go and relaxing into the web of interconnected life all around. As she fell into that sea of sensation, something pulled softly at the edge of her mind. A ripple in the Force, and she was stepping cautiously around the side of the home, into an access alley, letting the thread of energy tow her along.

A figure, outlined in that familiar blue-green glow, stepped into view. Unfortunately, it wasn't who her heart was begging to see. This was a stranger to her.

She narrowed her eyes at the man. He was shorter than Rey with cropped black hair and crystal blue eyes.

"Rey," he said.

There was something familiar about him. His voice, his presence in the Force. And all at once, it struck her.

"You were there," she said. "With me. On Exegol."

"I was," he said. "The Jedi are always with you."

He came closer and she could see the way he chewed the inside of his cheek as he tried to choose the words to say, "Leia mentioned you might need a teacher. Someone with experience in the World Between Worlds."

Rey pulled her hood back, studying _him_ now as the name Maz had uttered came to her lips. "Ezra Bridger?"

"Well, at least you've heard of me," he said, settling down on a barrel and lounging against the wall.

Rey didn't fill time with small talk. This was the only person in the galaxy she knew of who had the answers she needed and Rey's patience had dried up a long time ago. "How did you get to the World Between Worlds?"

He made a sound that was halfway between a snort and a laugh. "You don't waste time, do you?"

Ezra leaned back casually, crossing a leg over his knee. "The World Between Worlds is another plane of existence outside of space and time. Vergence Points scattered around the galaxy are connected to this plane. I found one such point and went through the gateway."

She thought back to her readings in the texts about the Vergence Scatter. Remembering Lothal, Ahch-To, and Exegol all being points of vergence. She asked the question she'd had back then, hoping that she'd finally get her answer.

"How did you find the gateway?"

An insufferably long silence passed before he answered.

"I listened," he said. When he stayed quiet again, she knew this man _must_ be a Jedi. Only Jedi enjoyed wasting so much of her time while trying to teach her something. "There was a mural at the Temple of Lothal. Have you heard of The Ones?"

"I read a little in the Jedi Texts. Ancient Celestial beings, Force Wielders," she said.

"Right." He nodded and Rey hoped this history lesson wouldn't take too much more time. "The Father, the Daughter and the Son. They are said to exist in Mortis, a place beyond space and time. The Son gained power which aligned him to the Dark, while the Daughter embodied the Light. The Father was the bringer of balance."

"What does this have to do with the World Between Worlds," she said.

He frowned, looking her up and down and judging by the accusing glint in his eyes, Rey had a feeling he didn't like what he saw.

"I found my way in by using a mural in the Temple of Lothal. The mural depicted the Father, the Daughter, and the Son. I pressed my palm against the Daughter's hand and listened. A portal was opened to me."

"How can I open a portal when there's no temple left? Maz said it was destroyed."

"A feeling," he said. "When the temple collapsed it felt… well, it felt like the plan of the Force and not a disaster. I have a feeling that the Gateway is still there, and my Master always said to trust your feelings."

"That's not much to go on. A ruined temple, a mural that doesn't exist, and a _feeling_?" Rey recognized the venom in her own voice, but she couldn't shake the irritation of not knowing what to do next, the helplessness of being unable to find Ben.

Ezra stood from his makeshift seat and closed the space between them, blue eyes like kyber crystals, cutting through her cold exterior.

"My Master also said that some things are stronger than fear," he said. "Don't forget that."

He offered only a thin smile, then nodded solemnly as his outline became fainter and he evaporated like fog into the cold Corellian night.

Stronger than fear. She laughed out loud to the empty alley. What could be stronger than the fear of losing the other half of herself? What could be more intense than the agony of being powerless to help the one person who means the most? At the moment, she could feel nothing _but_ her fear. Its icy shackles clamped ever harder around her heart as she began a much more purposeful walk back to the studio.

At least, now, she had a destination. A mission to throw herself into. An outlet for these feelings threatening to sweep her away with their tide.

Lothal.

* * *

Rey had just turned onto the narrow street, the outline of the studio coming into view, as a subtle shift drew her attention to the Force.

The Bond.

Her heart leapt at its presence, a sliver of something pulling at her emotions, a warmth where before there had been only emptiness.

She breathed his name out loud to the moonlit streets, "Ben." Receiving no answer, she doubled her pace, allowing the feeling to lead her, until she reached the little door at the end of the cobblestoned path. She used the keycard Maz had given her to enter.

The front room of the studio was eerily quiet. Then again it was probably close to midnight. Everyone was sure to be asleep.

A whispered voice carried down the darkened hall. "It was a bloodbath."

Rey crept closer, staying silent and walling her mind and her Force to avoid being detected.

 _She has her grandfather's lightsaber._ That was Ben's voice. Oh stars, it was Ben talking, and a wave of relief washed over her. He was okay.

But what were they saying… A bloodbath? The lightsaber?

A poisonous realization corrupted her elation at hearing Ben's voice. They were talking about _her._

Why had Ben gone to Finn first? What was wrong if he didn't want to speak with her?

Rey tried to immerse herself in the joy that he was okay. She wanted to run to him, to wrap her arms around him and make sure he wasn't hurt. She wanted to look as deeply into his eyes as she could, to let his precious smile light her from the inside out.

But their next words stopped her short, adding another layer of ice to the frozen shell around her heart.

 _I'm worried about her,_ he said. _That weapon is dangerous. She ignored me, Finn. I told her not to take it, but she ignored me._

"What do you want me to do, steal it from her?" Finn asked. "She'd probably decapitate me, too."

Any calm that she'd gained from her conversation with Ezra dissolved in an instant. They _were_ talking about her. Didn't Ben know that all of this was for him? And Finn… he couldn't really be afraid of her, could he?

Her pulse pounded loud in her ears and she let her walls fall, announcing herself in the Force before she shoved the door open, standing in the doorway of the small office.

The tall, blue-green outline looming in front of the data station was faint, but unmistakably Ben. Finn sat on a modern leather couch along the far wall, giving a perfect copy of Ben's shocked expression as she entered. The only light in the room came from a work-lamp at the data station which cast long shadows across Finn's face as he stared at her.

 _Rey,_ Ben's lopsided smile faltered as he took in her scowl.

She leveled a gaze at Ben. "You appeared to _him_? I've been thinking of nothing but you since you disappeared and you came to him first? To _talk_ about me?"

"It's okay, Rey," Finn began, "We're just – "

"Talking about how I want to chop off all of your heads?" Then balling her fists, she turned a lethal stare to Ben. "What I did to those acolytes was done to save _you_."

Ben stood tall, maintaining a presence of utter calm that only served to rile her further. Finn put his hands out in front of his body in a sign of surrender. "Rey, he was just worried is all."

"There's nothing to worry about," she snapped.

"Alright," Finn said, a forced lightness coating his voice like the sugar on Maz's sweetbreads.

She wanted to scream, but she clenched her teeth instead, holding back the flood of fury pressing against her control. "I'm leaving for Lothal."

"I'll go tell Poe," Finn said. "I think he's still up, but the others have already gone to sleep. You can have the couch here, maybe you should get some rest – "

"I'm not tired," she said.

Ben swallowed hard and glanced at Finn. _Can you give us a minute?_ His voice was hoarse, lower than usual.

Finn nodded, shoulders heaving with relief as he retreated from the room, closing the door on the way out. When the door clicked shut, silence spread across the space, carving out an awkward distance between them. Rey spun away from Ben, staring hard at the stonework on the wall. Anything to keep her from confronting her chaotic feelings.

Strong arms encircled her from behind and she tensed, stepping away from them. "Why didn't you come to me first?" she asked, still not daring to look into his eyes.

 _Rey_ – 

A cold swirling energy had begun to twist inside of her, snaking into her blood like the taint of a plague, an incurable disease. It was all she could do to bury it beneath her skin. But the harder she tried the more it bubbled up, biting at her from the inside until she couldn't stand it anymore.

Rey twisted and shoved hard against Ben Solo's chest in a Force-fueled push.

"I had to take the saber, Ben!" The words echoed in the room and down the Bond as darkness poured from her, causing the wood plank flooring to tremble below her feet. "I didn't have a choice! And now you're _afraid_ of me?!" She knew she was yelling loud enough now for the whole place to hear but she didn't give half a kriff about it. "I did it for you! I thought they were torturing you!"

She was about to push against him again when Ben stepped forward, completely unphased by her outburst, and grabbed her wrists, holding her still and forcing her to listen.

 _Yes, they tortured me,_ he said, and Rey had to wonder if it was the echo of that pain still rasping the edges of his voice as he spoke to her now. _But they won't kill me, remember? They only want our power."_

She tried to wrench free, but his hold on her, strengthened by the Force, was steadfast. She struggled against him, but unstable as she was, he had the upper hand. And the longer he held her wrists, the more she felt the cold slowly seeping from her. His skin on hers, his scent wafting over her, his presence in the Force. It was like stepping into a warm bath, and when he pulled her into his arms this time, she felt the ice around her heart melt into a liquid puddle of warmth with his touch.

 _You don't get to do this alone, Rey,_ he said, his voice low, but firm. _I got away from them and so long as you're here, I'll always get away. You're my lifeline._

And she relaxed her fisted hands, spreading her fingers against his chest and clutching his robes to keep herself from being washed away by the torrent of darkness in her own blood. She felt him respond across the Bond, sending a bolt of glacial energy between them that chilled her with its ferocity. Meeting darkness with darkness he showed her again, that he was her equal.

_Of course, I'm not afraid of you,_ he said. _Force, Rey. No one knows what you are feeling right now better than I do._

That was when she finally looked up at him. His dark eyes could have been sculpted from ice as he channeled the Force in a garish display of his mastery over the Dark Side. She closed her eyes and felt his power strumming the very air around her until the night itself seemed to sing his shadowy chorus.

 _I know the Dark Side, Rey,_ he said, leaning close to whisper in her ear. _And you can't let it control you._

Then, with one fluid motion, he reached for her waistband, unclipped the Palpatine saber from her belt and tossed it onto the couch. He gazed at her, searching her face, her eyes, her lips.

The Force hummed between them, the Bond like a chain of ice, electrifying her with its dark connection. She'd never felt it like this before. So raw, almost feral in its passion.

Rey wet her lips, anticipation of his touch sending cold, tingling power streaming into every nerve in her body. Her fear had morphed into an altogether different emotion and she was becoming greedy with it as she swept her eyes over him, remembering what his lips tasted like, what it felt like to have his body pressed against hers.

She basked in this silent storm, reveling in the current streaming between them for as long as she could stand, before she _had_ to touch him. Then, she reached out with both hands to rake her fingers through his hair, pulling him roughly down to her.

"Kiss me," she demanded, "And don't stop until you've convinced me you won't disappear."


	16. Tongues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate all the love you are giving to this story! Readers, you are incredible! Get ready for a little spice with this chapter. Okay, maybe more than a little spice. This is probably just filth. Pure filth. 
> 
> I'm hoping for an update this weekend, but please forgive me if I don't come through. I'm heading to Galaxy's Edge on Sunday with my family and I am sooooo excited! But it might set my updates back a bit.

Ben obeyed, crushing a desperate kiss to her mouth, pulling her against him with a sweep of one strong arm. He tasted so kriffing good, sweeter and more intoxicating than any Raava she'd ever had. And she wanted more.

The cold knot of fear in her core began to unravel, each touch of his lips, each eager glide of his hands on her waist peeled back the layers, unfurling her darkness like petals from a frozen plom bloom. She reached out, feeling the vibration of their joint power as it filled the air around them, and Rey used those cold tendrils of Force to caress the nape of his neck, sliding under his robes and down his back.

She felt his fingers grip her tighter in response and her pulse quickened, a dizzying exhilaration now coursing through her.

She licked at the seam of his lips until he offered himself to her, opening his mouth and yielding to her exploration. She felt his sharp intake of breath as their bodies tangled, their tastes mingling and then, he was crashing into her mouth with a hot slide of his own tongue, wet and greedy, a promise of what was to come.

He moaned low against her lips and if she was hungry for him before, now she was ravenous, needing to taste him, to feast on his touch, to devour this man in every way.

She fumbled for the collar of his robe, trying to pull it back over his shoulders, but her fingers were too slow, and the angle all wrong. Frustrated, she turned to the Force of her passion to do the job. So easy, so quick, she curled dark Force around Ben and shucked his outer robe from his shoulders until it fell in a puddle at his feet.

She needed him, his skin, his heat, his mouth. Him. Stars, Rey just wanted _him._

The Force was an icy river of greed and she fed from it, wielding it as another appendage, wrapping it around him to peel the layers from his body.

_So it's like that, is it?_ That lopsided smirk was there now, revealing the adorably crooked teeth at the edge of his smile and kriff… how could teeth be so kriffing attractive?

"Yes," she said, sloughing off the last layer and running her hands across the firm angles of his chest and shoulders, at last, feeling the heat of his body beneath her cold fingers. "It's like that."

These ministrations had goosebumps erupting over his body and soon, he was struggling to free her from her coat, pulling it away, groping and untangling and cursing under his breath as though fighting a dozen rathtar tentacles instead of two simple sleeves. Once rid of the loathsome jacket, he lifted her by the waist easily without any need for the Force, and spread her legs, placing her against his hips with his arms wrapped snug around her.

[ ](https://imgur.com/Qmam8Zl)

She squeezed her legs tight around him, thighs stretching with a stinging pleasure as the starving center of her need pressed deliciously against his body.

_Oh Force._ The huskiness in his voice had her aching already.

That was when she felt his control collapse, like a dam breaking, the icy water behind those floodgates came crashing down the Bond and his Dark Force poured over her, a delicious nipping kind of cold that left her nerves raw and open to his touch.

He wielded the darkness like a cold tongue, licking and teasing the exposed skin of her arms as he pressed his hot mouth to hers and drank her in. Rey felt her fingers go numb, as it did when she fell far into that dangerous place, succumbing to that cold energy that had scared everyone else. Everyone but Ben. Finally, with him, she could _be._ She could fall to that forbidden place and suffer no judgement because he would go there with her.

She spoke these truths with her lips, with her warm breath against the skin of his neck as she bit and licked. She couldn't help but rock a little against him, wrapping her legs tighter, letting him feel the visceral need she had to positively consume him.

Soon, it wasn't enough and she breathed a frustrated moan against his ear. A wordless sound expressing her demand to have more of him against her.

_Rey_ , he said, his voice reduced to a guttural whisper under the weight of his desire. _Rey, you know how much I want this. Force._

She growled again, unwrapping her legs from him and sliding down his body, pulling him by the waistband of his pants to the couch.

_Rey, we can't, not when I –_

She shushed him harshly. "Don't say it. You're supposed to make me forget."

And she could feel him teetering on the edge, the Bond practically commanding their union, but still, he stubbornly persisted. _I can't Rey, I… not yet. I want to truly be here._

She let out an exasperated snarl. The need between her legs was utterly consuming now and it completely possessed her thoughts, like a mind-flaying disease which could only be cured by his touch. How dare he do this to her? He'd planted a ravenous desire inside of her and he better damned well find a way to sate it. She was aching, wet with her own thirst for him. She wanted him to fill her, to claim her, to tame this raging fury inside of her.

"Kriff Ben," she hissed, "Then just kiss me!"

And he did. He kissed her with all the hunger of a man starved, quenching his thirst against her lips, and she realized with a shudder, that she would endure another five thousand lonely nights on Jakku just to be here in his arms again.

Their kisses were frantic now, not fast enough, not deep enough, not enough of each other.

And Rey felt…

Fear. Buried deep in the pit of her stomach, just there, was the fear. Fear of losing him. Fear of never having _this_ again _._ Fear of him fading away into nothing. The weight of that nothingness down the Bond for eternity was enough to send her into another panic and she was raking her nails against the skin of his back, clinging so tightly that it brought a twinge of pain from him down the Bond.

An icy thrill of pleasure followed immediately, like a frosty arrow shot down their connection, it twisted her belly in anticipation.

The night itself seemed to respond under Ben's command and he lashed her wrists over her head with nothing but the cool touch of his Force. A thrill coursed through her remembering how he'd held her beneath the Great Tree just like this. But this time, pressed against the smooth leather of the couch and looking up at him, she saw no humor in his eyes, only hunger. Oh stars, this was what she needed.

And in the dim light, she watched a wicked smile unfurl across his lips. Rey forgot how to breathe in that moment, and she would have done anything to have him look at her like that gain. Immobilized by his Force, body screaming for his contact, she touched him the only way she could, with darkness. She let it shiver in cool rivulets across his skin until she saw its effect on his breathing, coming now in ragged panting bursts, cheeks heating with a delicious flush.

A touch, like a chill winter breeze danced across her skin as her shirt was stripped from her. Ben raised a brow in silent question and Rey breathed her consent. "Please. Don't stop."

And maybe Ben wasn't so clueless about all of this after all, because now, with darkness wrapped around them, humming and building like a waiting avalanche, Ben pulled off her leggings in one swift tug of the Force.

A quick thrill streaked through her as she realized how the darkness emboldened him, and she wondered if this is what it would have been like if she'd taken his hand in the throne room that day on the Supremacy. Had she missed out on a year of this?

He paused above her, his eyes soaking in her exposed flesh before he pressed down urgently on top of her, letting his Force continue to whip around her, like a storm, it swirled and lashed at her skin, as the hot skin of his body found connection with hers and she felt the hard center of his desire against her thigh. She worked at his pants and had them around his ankles with only a touch of the Force.

Oh, their masters would think them positively depraved, and Rey couldn't care less.

Ben looked down at her, flushed and panting, hair falling into his eyes and Rey thought he was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Like staring at a missing piece of herself she'd only just discovered wasn't there. And with her arms still pinned helplessly over her head, in a place of complete submission, something fell into place.

[ ](https://imgur.com/ewVel8D)

Time stood still.

A strange déjà vu, like they'd done this before. Been here before. And it was as though the Force was speaking some ultimate truth, but she was just too wrapped up in the moment to hear exactly what it was saying.

Ben felt something too, as his brows knitted for a moment, and he released his Force grip on her wrists, before Rey felt the feeling pass and that all-encompassing ache began to devour any semblance of rational thought once more.

She demanded his mouth again, biting and sucking at his lower lip, pulling his shoulders closer with newly freed hands, giving him permission to smother her with his weight.

She sucked in a breath as his hard arousal finally pressed fully against her through his underthings, and kriff. She squirmed underneath him, moving so they were aligned and…

"Oh, Ben…" and behind his name was a command. Don't you dare leave, it said. Because Rey could not stand to lose him, her perfect equal. She could not lose _this._ Oh, that delicious friction as he kissed and sucked at her neck, all the while working himself against her, the heat and hardness of his body rubbing a delicious rhythm against her. She was soaked through her small clothes in a few very short, but incredible thrusts of his hips.

Kriff, she might find her release just like this. She groaned, reaching down to touch him like she had on Yavin, wanting more than he was giving, wanting so much for him to _fill_ that ache inside of her. But he pulled away.

_No,_ he said, scolding her with a guttural sound. _No._ He sounded more controlled the second time. _Not like last time. Tonight, I want to show you what you mean to me._

When he removed his precious weight from her, she could have screamed and beat her fists against his chest. But he was the picture of perfect control, and she squirmed under his grip as he positioned one wrist over her head and unwrapped her breast band. This time, his hands didn't tremble at all. This time, she felt his subtle pull on the dark side to smother his insecurity, to steady his icy fingers, giving him an unnatural grace as he shed the clothing.

She watched his lips press together, as they always did when he was thinking too much.

Rey soothed him, caressing him with the black of the night itself, letting him feel how precious he was to her, stroking his shoulders in cooling streams of touch and he seemed to melt a bit at the edges, remembering his purpose and pulling the last of her clothing over her hips and tossing her underthings onto the floor.

He froze. As though just realizing what he had done and looked her up and down. The moonlight filtering through the windows made patterns on her skin, and he stayed there a long while on hands and knees over her, a worshipful softness in his eyes before he dipped down to capture her lips. Soon his mouth was exploring again, finding the tender skin of her neck, brushing lower as his hands found the curves of her breasts.

His lips razed her skin, leaving trails of tingling electricity down her chest and around each nipple, sucking and teasing until her hips rose to meet him, seeking the pressure of his body. She became keenly aware of herself in that moment. The rapid rise and fall of her chest, her pounding heartbeat, the increasingly painful ache between her legs. Oh, it was very uncomfortable now, and she pressed her thighs together to give herself a bit of friction, a sliver of relief.

She whimpered a wordless plea and this had him grasping her hips hard, his large hands nearly encircling her completely.

Thank the Force Ben was a merciful lover. Seeing her writhing underneath him, he brought his soft fingers down to her heat and slid them between her folds, finding that delicious center to her pleasure.

Ben Solo was a quick study.

His dark Force continued to batter against her like the cold winds of a cyclone, twisting and pulling and ripping, drawing pleasure from places she never knew could yearn for someone as his hand worked her and his Force pounded her with its power.

Rey was a bundle of sensation now, feeling nothing but his lips on her breasts, his hand stroking and building her desire, feeling his breath and hearing her own choked moans of pleasure.

She felt herself rise from the couch and she groaned in protest as his hand pulled away briefly, leaving her empty, needy. Ribbons of darkness trailed down her spine, teasing, and soon, they were joined by the caress of his own hands, stroking her everywhere. She flexed to clamp down on the painful pressure he'd built up between her legs and tried to focus on the new sensations he was igniting with his touch. Her body was suspended in perfect stillness as she felt his fingers drag from her shoulders all the way down to her legs. She was alive as he wrapped her in his dark embrace. She felt the very night swirl around her and his strong hands positioned her where he needed her.

She tried to stay still as his hot lips tasted her navel and trailed lower, kissing a path to her very undoing.

"Yes," she breathed into the night, into the darkness, to the only lover who could ever have her like _this._

His mouth stilled near her inner thighs, his warm breath so close, his tongue building a relentless pressure in her core.

"Please." And she didn't want to beg, but this was a new kind of torture. How could pleasure be so kriffing painful?

She felt the briefest flash of trepidation down the bond, before he swathed himself in darkness again and pushed her legs apart.

And he kissed her, just like she'd commanded.

He kissed her just where she'd shown him under the Great Tree and he didn't stop. His tongue swirled delicious circles around the very center of her pleasure, again and again until she was bucking against him. She reached for his head, grabbing his hair and pressing him closer.

"Ben, please," she begged.

He listened to her cries, adding more pressure, working her with his tongue and with the Force, and when he added those lithe fingers, a cry tore from her, halfway between a shout and a moan.

His voice was everywhere in her mind as he used the Bond to communicate a perfectly formed sentence.

_You are so beautiful like this._

That was when she realized he'd been watching her. His eyes intense, never taking his mouth from her, but watching as she came unraveled at his touch, at his command.

[ ](https://imgur.com/3By6lYQ)

"It's not fair," she managed in gasps, thinking thickly through a foggy brain that she'd like to see him like this, too.

Then, suspended in midair in complete submission, Ben Solo turned her world upside down. All at once, his darkness bled away like fog in the bright morning sun. She felt his Force blazing with a warmth beyond just physical heat. It was belonging, it was comfort and peace, and it was as though the dawn had finally come, chasing away the fear and blackness of a long night.

The darkness he'd used to hold her warmed into a cradle of light and he smiled, pressing his mouth against her heat again until she lost herself completely.

He was pulling sensation from her, reading every thought down the Bond to guide his actions, and Rey abandoned herself to the rhythm he was teaching her body. The only thing that mattered were the hot circles of his tongue against her sex, his fingers pumping hard inside of her, stretching her with delicious stinging strokes of his hand, building a sweeping tension at her core. She moaned, arching her back and driving her hips to meet his mouth again and again, until finally, he took her to that precipice and suspended her there for a perfect moment. One last caress of his tongue pushed her over that edge and everything else fell away. Her release came shuddering from her core, tremors of pleasure and dark Force coursing through her, prickling her fingers and toes until she lay spent and panting beneath his gaze.

He kissed her tenderly one more time, his gentle lips sending a few last quivers through her body until she relaxed completely, breathing hard, feeling liquid and pliant in the support of his Force. He lowered her with tender care onto the couch and crawled in to lie beside her. The leather was a shock of cold against her burning skin and she grabbed for him, resting her head on one arm and draping the other over her to have as much of his body against her as she could manage.

Her breath was evening out, she was just coming back to herself as she realized his situation. He was straining hard against his underclothes, his own desire still quite obvious. She shifted her weight and pulled at his remaining clothing, but his hand caught hers.

_No._ His eyes were kind, but his brows were hardened into that stubborn slant that told her he would not relent. _Let me give this to you tonight._

She was going to argue, but when he pulled her closer into his embrace, trailing warm wisps of Force down her back and shoulders, she melted into his arms, letting him soothe her.

Rey pressed a gentle kiss to the line of his jaw and settled into him further, closing her eyes, losing herself in the closeness of his body, his heartbeat, his breathing, the pulse of his Force.

"Ben," she said, her voice a feeble whisper. "I'm so afraid. I can't lose you."

_You won't, sweetheart._ And he was trailing soft fingers over her shoulders and arms, the warmth of his skin and his Force a balm to her ice-cold fear. _You won't._

She exhaled and nestled closer, keenly aware of how perfectly she fit against him. "There was a gateway at Lothal that collapsed, but the Jedi who opened it thinks it can still be used."

_Then you're right, we should go there and try_. His fingers continued their soft repetitive strokes against her skin, as if trying to pull away the last of the fear that clung to her heart.

"Malak told me to meet him there," she said.

He was quiet at that.

_I don't know the right answer._ He finally said.

"Even if we do get through, how can we fight all of them?"

He sighed, a weary, ragged breath and she knew what it meant. He was so tired of fighting, just as she was. _Maybe we don't have to,_ he said. _What if we can open it just long enough for me to escape?_

She could only hope it would be that easy, but something inside of her already knew. It wouldn't be. Whatever was coming was going to hurt.

Rey rolled onto her side needing to look at him before he inevitably faded away. She lifted fingers to sweep away the stray locks that had fallen to cover his face, combing through the soft tresses, appreciating the striking contrast that was Ben Solo. Hard lines and muscular angles, soft hair and deep brown eyes. Her hand caressed his cheek, touching the corner of his eye that would wrinkle with his smile. Where minutes ago, she'd seen icy power reflected there, now was a spellbinding warmth, endless liquid pools that promised her everything. Their depths held the kind of intense beauty that made her forget anything she'd feared. They wielded the power to stretch this personal moment between them into a shared eternity.

And for a few precious minutes, her fear was forgotten.


	17. Starlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm happy to sneak in this chapter before I head out to Galaxy's Edge! You can expect the next update in one week.
> 
> Thank you all so very much for the support and for each and every review of this story. I would absolutely love to read some more reviews this week as I quest through Galaxy's Edge! I do try to pay attention to these suggestions when writing the story (PhoenixEmber's suggestion for a chapter title "Tongues" and Midnight_Rose7's comment about liking the dark Force playfulness in chapter 12 led to the creation of the entire last chapter. In fact, "Tongues" wasn't even outlined in my original plan at all). So do know that I am listening, I may have the main outline of the fic planned, but individual scenes are still very much flexible.
> 
> As always, thank you to the amazing JenniferLadyBug who has been subjected to my fumbling rough drafts in order to crank out her art in time. The continued quality of her illustrations paired with how quickly she produces them is truly mind blowing.

Rey woke with a shiver, every hair on the back of her neck standing on end.

The room was dark. Still night then?

But no. This was something different.

There was no moonlight, no starlight, nothing. This dark was _heavy_ with blackness. So heavy in fact, the void seemed to feast on the light itself, sucking every last glimmer of brightness towards its center.

This was the black of infinite nothingness.

Rey recognized this place and in an instant, panic had her by the throat.

"No! No, please!" But when she screamed, it was not her voice that rang in her ears.

"Ben!?" But even as she shouted his name, the cry came in his voice. "How?"

A dream? A Force connection?

She felt something tug at Ben's consciousness and he was walking. Walking through that nothing, alone. Soon, the black abyss became streaked with white pathways, leading off into an endless web of lines and angles. He was desperately searching now for the right path, a way to be free from this place.

When Ben had first come to the World Between Worlds, he spent days in peace, unaware of the passage of time. That had changed once the Sith discovered his presence. Now, he only had brief moments of peace and endless moments of this. Running, fleeing, buying time until he could find a way out.

He sensed the abyss creeping closer, and he needed to get away before –

A voice hissed into Ben's ear, rustling like wind between dead branches. "Where do you think you're going?"

Ben whirled, finding himself face to face with the masked Sith.

Ben knew the legend of Darth Nihilus, Lord of Hunger. As the unfortunate survivor of the mass shadow generator four thousand years ago, he'd been cursed with an insatiable hunger. He was driven to consume the Force of others to feed what was left of his spirit. There was no body under that cloak, as what remained of his soul was no longer bound to a physical form, but to his mask and robes.

Ben had never believed in ghost stories.

Of course, that was before he'd died.

"You may not cross here," the spirit rasped.

This wasn't the first time Nihilus had tormented him in this way. But the Sith demanded both parts of the Dyad, so Nihilus had been forced to simply toy with him from time to time, never allowed to consume him completely.

Ben closed his eyes, suspending himself in the Force, drawing it in and releasing it in a wave of power to push Nihilus away before sprinting in the opposite direction.

He met an invisible wall and staggered back, only just managing to keep his feet.

The Sith never travelled alone in this place. Otherwise, Ben would have a chance of a fair fight. He could just see them now, the spirits of the other Sith hanging behind in the shadows, strengthening Nihilus and keeping Ben's Force contained. He felt the web of their darkness tighten around him, and like a scalefish caught in a net, he thrashed hopelessly against it.

The emptiness hit him like a durasteel fist to his chest. He'd never felt anything like Nihilus' Force drain, and it only seemed to become more powerful each time he used it. Ben winced, drawing back, tensing with the dread of what was yet to come.

Ben's scream rang painfully in his own ears as the specter wrapped dark fingers around his emotions, around his very soul and began to gorge on anything he found inside. Darth Nihilus was a vulture and Ben the corpse, as the Sith picked everything clean, tearing away emotions like ligaments clinging to bone, plucking away every piece of Ben's heart until nothing remained. Feeding. Feasting. Ripping the life from his chest, wrenching the breath from his lungs, and Ben crashed to his knees.

Nihilus only laughed, a terrible breathy sound like the scraping of fingernails against the inside of his own skull.

"You won't stop her fall, Solo," he said. "And eventually I will be the one to devour both of your souls."

His voice was coming closer.

Ben's chest burned with the effort of breathing and he wasn't sure he could survive another soul rending drain from Nihilus.

A dim hope pierced through his foggy consciousness.

The Bond. He could break free if he could only reach her. She could be his lifeline. Force, but she was probably still asleep. Maybe if he called to her loud enough.

"Rey!"

Rey woke with a start, trying to grab for the fist that was pounding against her ribs, only to find that it was her own throbbing heartbeat.

"Ben?"

Had it been a nightmare?

She closed her eyes and tried to focus on him.

Nothing.

Maybe it had been just a dream.

A tug on the Bond.

Fear. A second racing heartbeat.

It wasn't a dream.

Rey focused on their connection, willing Ben to be with her. She imagined him here, in her arms and pulled hard, using every bit of Force to wrench him away from the horrors she'd seen. Her jaw clenched painfully as she strained to call on more energy before she finally recognized the thin thread of _something_ there, and felt a tiny nudge of a response, a light brush of a hand against hers. It lasted only seconds, and then it was gone, and that thread faded back to nothing once again.

Rey exhaled, waiting. For the longest time just listening, to hear something, to get a hint from the Bond. She had no idea what she was waiting for exactly, just that she couldn't move until she knew Ben was okay.

The assurance of his safety never came, despite several attempts to pull again at their connection.

Faint wisps of pink dawn light filtered in through the windows and she used it to get her bearings. She lay on the couch, draped in a blanket she recognized from the Falcon, clutching Ben's shirt which had been wadded under her head like a pillow. Her heart contracted at the thought of Ben, rising without waking her, and tending to her in this way. She could picture him tenderly tucking a blanket around her shoulders and offering her his shirt for comfort. And he'd done it mere hours before being ripped apart at the hands of the Sith. The thought made her blood boil.

Again, she'd been powerless to help him.

She thought back to the way he'd touched her last night, how he'd met her in darkness, passing no judgement before showing her it was possible to find a balance. He'd offered her his light along with a pleasure she hadn't thought possible, then he'd held her as she fell asleep in his arms. What he gave her last night would surely be fuel for her fantasies forever.

But now, with the dawn infusing its chill into the stonework studio, and without Ben to draw warmth from, Rey felt the cold creeping back in. The ice was only hardened further as she recalled the frantic pounding of Ben's heart as he ran, the shredding of his soul under the power of the Sith, and Rey could stand it no longer.

She pushed herself to sit, finding her regular clothes in a tidy pile folded at her feet. She dressed quickly, never letting go of Ben's shirt gripped tight in her hand. She had a mission. She would get to Lothal and find her way to him.

Ben had hidden the extent of his torture from her, but now that she'd seen it, she vowed that he would not endure another minute of pain at the hands of the Sith without her. She would save him or die trying.

As she crossed the office to the door, something tugged darkly at the back of her mind. It stirred those feelings to the surface almost instantly – the fear, the raw empty place.

The Palpatine saber.

She followed the whispers with her eyes, seeing the small chest on the desk that hadn't been there last night. She recognized it from the Falcon, she'd used it to stow away parts and screws, odds and ends. Did Ben place it there to keep her from having to touch the saber?

Slow steps carried her toward the chest and she placed a cautious hand on the steely lid, running fingers over the latch.

She opened it, finding the weapon shining unnaturally in the dim light. Her eyes roamed over the polished electrum casing, the golden accents swirling across the hilt, the phrik alloy ridging at the pommel. She swallowed, sensing its power twining around her Force, like a curling finger beckoning her closer.

She squeezed Ben's shirt tight in her fist and nearly slammed the lid shut, wanting so much to lock the chest and throw away the key, to sever all ties with her family history. But something stopped her. Ben's pain, feeling it as her own down the Bond. How could she allow that to happen again? How could she damn him to face that alone?

She couldn't.

And even though she knew it was a risk, she had to hold the saber. Because if she wanted to find a way to the Sith, she would need it as her guide. The dark side was not something to be feared. Ben had only cautioned that she not let it control her. She would just have to stay in control. It was as simple as that.

She braced herself for the voices as she opened a shaking hand to seize the weapon. But unlike the first time she held it, the saber remained silent in her grasp. She clipped it onto her belt opposite her own saber and tried not to overthink this as she crossed the room. Maybe when she was closer to Lothal she would hear the Sith again. Or maybe the weapon wasn't so dangerous after all.

The fact that she was breathing heavily when she reached the office door was the only hint that she was still afraid. Her shoulders heaved with one last steadying exhalation as she pushed down the remaining fear and twisted the handle to face the day.

The others were already awake in the main studio. The low drone of conversation buzzed in the air as duffel bags and backpacks were slung over shoulders and boxes hefted into already full arms. Maz was balancing a stack of datapads in her palm, directing traffic, sending anything they'd come with down the alley at the side of the studio to her ship.

Rey spotted Poe in the mix and offered a smile, weaker than she would have liked, but better than she'd managed yesterday.

He offered a full grin in response. "Feeling better?"

"Worlds better," she lied. Maybe if she just said it out loud she would eventually feel the truth of it.

"Ready to see what we can find on Lothal?"

"You guys don't have to come," she began. "I mean if Maz –"

He raised a brow.

"I know, I know… we're all going together."

"Damn right," he said, elbowing her in the side and pulling a bag over his shoulder, leading the way toward the back alley.

She followed him to the Falcon, greeting a particularly chirpy BB-8 on the loading ramp and heading to the main cabin. Finn was standing with his back to her, eyes transfixed on the box of saber parts still resting on the Dejarik table.

"Morning," she said, placing the blanket and Ben's shirt into her bunk behind the lounge and setting the empty chest down on the table.

Rey noticed Ben's saber and a piece of paper in Finn's hand as he turned to greet her.

He was wearing what vaguely resembled a smirk on his face. "So, I take it your talk with Ben went pretty good last night?" he said, lip still curled into what was, now, most definitely a smirk.

"Yes…" she said, drawing the word out into a question. "How did you know?"

"Let's just say he never taught me how to block _out_ the Force."

His teasing expression suddenly made much more sense and heat crept up the back of her neck.

"You – uh…" She avoided his eyes and stared hard at the wall behind him, scratching at the back of her head, "I'm sorry if you…"

There was no way she could squeeze another word past the embarrassment locking her voice in her throat. Her last hope was to bury her face in a hand, trying to retain a thread of dignity by hiding the stain of blush that had spread everywhere by now.

"Don't worry, I came to sleep on the Falcon. What you and your… _boyfriend_ do isn't any of my business," he paused awkwardly on the word, as though not quite sure what to call him. "I _am_ glad to see he talked some sense into you, though." He looked her up and down as though her physical appearance alone could confirm her state of mind. "By the way, I never thought it would be _him_ talking sense into _you_."

He was shaking his head now, glancing down at Ben's saber in his own hand.

"What are you doing with that?" She kept her tone light, trying hard to ignore the residual embarrassment of their awkward exchange.

Finn held out a small piece of parchment folded neatly in half. "He left a note."

And the cold touch of fear snaked through her thoughts in that moment. Why would he leave Finn a note? Why not her? It was just like last night when he'd gone to Finn first.

Rey shook the thoughts away, knowing they weren't rational. Ben had given her everything he could last night, and the logical part of her knew he cared for her more than anything.

He had his reasons to talk to Finn, and Rey had to try to trust him.

She took the note between two fingers and unfolded it to inspect the writing. Scrawled across the page, in familiar, graceful strokes of ink, was a short, hand-written message.

_Finn,_

_Please hold onto this for me. I hope you can get some use out of it as Rey continues your training. I have a feeling we may need you at Lothal. Thank you for always watching over Rey when I can't be there. She is everything to me._

_Ben_

She read over the words again. _Everything to me._ She thought she knew that but seeing this written confession to someone else… stars.

Rey smiled, staring down at the handwriting again. No one ever wrote on paper anymore, everything was always on datapads or holo recordings. The fact that Ben held onto this ancient tradition warmed her, and she swallowed hard against the emotion rising up to choke her words. It brought back their night together in the bunk, gazing up at his calligraphy.

Finn was staring hard at her when she finally shook herself from her thoughts. He took a step forward, his brows drawing together. "Chewie was right," he said. "You _do_ love him."

Rey could only stare back, biting her lip.

He studied her face a moment longer before he offered a strained smile, his expression laced with apprehension, as he strode toward her with arms extended. "Oh, Rey." She walked into his embrace, appreciating that though he still looked concerned, at least he was trying to understand. "I still can hardly stand him," he said, speaking next to her ear as they hugged. "He's snarkier than a Dug, and I will never forget what he did to you on Starkiller, but it's obvious he cares about you now. He does seem different." He stepped back, gripping her shoulders. "If he means this much to you, we'll get him back."

Rey clutched her friend in an embrace tighter than the first. "Thank you."

Poe, Rose, and Chewie rounded the corner into the main cabin. Poe was already downloading his conversation with Maz to the entire room before anyone had a chance to get a word in.

"Maz is meeting Lando and Jannah near Mon Calamari," Poe said. "They're going to discuss what to do about the Fleet. I told her our priority right now was investigating these Sith."

Then, as if just now seeing Rey and Finn, Poe cocked his head. "What are we hugging for?"

Rey stepped out of Finn's arms, deciding how best to answer the question, but Rose was already commenting.

"You seem in better spirits, today." Rose's wide smile was infectious, and Rey's lips felt compelled to follow suit, though her own smile fizzled halfway.

"I am," Rey said, forcing the corners of her lips up the rest of the way.

"I wonder why?" Rose said, winking.

Oh, for the love of the Maker. Who _didn't_ know about last night? This time, there was no point hiding her blush, because she was sure it had spread across her neck, cheeks, and all the way to the tips of her ears.

Poe chuckled heartily. "That was _you?"_ His chuckle slowly evolved into an out-of-control rush of a laugh, and he was practically doubled over now. "Damn, Rey! The guys thought… well, I won't tell you what the guys in the mechanic's bunk were saying." Poe's laughter waned, but he obviously hadn't had enough of this particular topic. "With a ghost? Wow. That's, well… you know, Leia used to say the Force works in mysterious ways."

Finn blew a rude sound through his lips as he tried to hold back a laugh and failed. Even Chewie snorted the Wookiee version of a chuckle.

Rose was doing a slightly better job stifling her laughter, and even managed to change the subject by pointing to the lightsaber in Finn's hand. "Isn't that Ben's saber he was working on?"

"Yeah," Finn said. "He finished it last night."

"Wow, he _did_ have a busy night." Poe's deadpan delivery caused a new eruption of laughter, and a fresh blush colored her cheeks.

Finn was still trying to breathe evenly when he continued. "Yeah, well. He finished it and left it for me to hold onto so Rey can help me with a little training."

"Let's see it, then," Poe said, with a quick nod in the weapon's direction.

Rey's heart sank and she tried desperately not to let her disappointment muddle her perfectly orchestrated smile. The problem was, Rey had held onto this silly little idea that Ben would be the one to hold the saber when it was ignited for the first time. It was Ben's creation after all. Healing his old crystal and creating something new, it just seemed so _important_. And Ben not being here to bask in his own achievement… the thought of it left her wilted. But he had made it clear that he wanted Finn to use it, so, she tried to let go of the idealistic vision.

"Go ahead!" Rose waved him on with an excited sweeping motion, "I want to see it, too."

Finn gripped the hilt and extended the weapon in front of his body, his eyes glinting with the thrill of anticipation. When he flicked the switch to activate the plasma blade, Rey was instantly entranced.

In his hand, burned a blade of pure starlight.

The size of the weapon was the same as Kylo Ren's and it seemed impossibly large in Finn's hand. The shape too, was much the same, retaining the old blade's signature cross-guards. But this saber didn't hiss and spit like an angry sarlacc. It was stable, balanced.

This blade was a work of art.

Throat tight, and lips quivering, Rey tried to hide the tears welling in her eyes. But Ben's lightsaber was magnificent, and she was having a hard time holding back her awe. He'd healed the crystal, and this was the product. A pure white saber.

Finn tested the weapon's balance, cutting through the air in controlled sweeps and Rey could only follow the blade through tear-clouded vision, completely transfixed by its perfection. Everyone was silent for a few reverent moments, unable to break the spell cast by Ben's lightsaber.

"I didn't think they came in white," Poe said, looking sideways at Rose and Chewie. "Do they come in white?"

Chewie growled a comment about Ben always having to do things differently.

Rose was smiling. "It's beautiful."

Rey's heart swelled with pride, wishing Ben was here to see their reactions. "Yes, it is."


	18. Wolves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Galaxy's Edge was amazing! I built a lightsaber and my son made his own droid. Kylo asked my friend's son to join the Dark Side and I nearly died! We rode Rise of the Resistance and Smuggler's Run twice and I absolutely loved it. I've decided I want to live there. I have spoken.
> 
> Next update by midweek I hope! Thank you all for the encouraging comments! They continue to drive me to keep writing despite work being absolutely insane right now! You guys are the best!

Rey spent most of the trip to Lothal working with Finn, fine-tuning his ability to reach out with the Force. If they were going to find the way into the World Between Worlds, Finn would need to learn everything he could. Ezra had said he'd found the gateway by listening, so she figured the more "ears" they had when looking for the lost Jedi Temple, the better.

Not only that, but training Finn had been a good distraction from her own dark feelings. That icy coil of balled-up fury lay just below the surface, buried beneath the tense smile she tried to wear for her friends. She was thankful for any diversion that would keep her from thinking of the Sith and what they were doing to Ben.

Finn stood in Jedi Ready position in the Falcon's main hold, Ben's blade held vertically in his grip, poised to slash. Rey tossed another piece of scrap toward Finn who swiped at the flying metal, slicing through it hastily before assuming the ready position once more. He was improving in his ability to stretch out with the Force, wielding Ben's saber against stray nuts and bolts with ease, even with the blast shield down. The problem was, the graceful white blade still seemed so unwieldly in Finn's grasp. He needed a lesson on mechanics and Rey was at a loss on where to begin. She was a Jedi, but she was no Master.

Something was off about Finn's positioning, but she couldn't put her finger on it. He seemed to be holding his feet apart, bending his knees, focusing on the target… it was just, Rey's style had developed before she even knew the name of any of the Jedi combat forms or any of the specific zones of attack. She'd learned to hold herself in position by instinct. Finn still held himself like a stormtrooper, disciplined and rigid. He'd need to unlearn some of those instincts. He needed instruction from someone who understood the mechanics from a scholarly perspective.

He needed a real teacher.

And for the hundredth time that day, she wished Ben were here.

"I think that's enough for now," Rey said, setting down the bucket of scrap. "You've really improved already."

"Just once more," Finn protested. "Try two in succession this time."

 _Come on._ Ben's whispered voice in her ear had her stomach fluttering in an instant. _He's just warming up._

The faint outline of his hand materialized, running up her arm and drawing heat to the surface of her skin almost immediately.

"Mmmmm." She hummed her appreciation, knowing Finn couldn't see with the visor down.

The rest of Ben's body, faint but solid appeared behind her, wrapping arms around her, and he bent to press a kiss against the top of her head.

She relaxed into his embrace, feeling the warmth of his body against her back and turning her head to rest her cheek against him. She inhaled deeply, letting his scent wash over her, carrying with it a tide of relief that relaxed her tense muscles. He was really here. She closed her eyes, delighting in the simple joy of his presence.

She breathed a quiet question against his chest. "Are you okay?"

His reply was barely louder than the pulse drumming in her ears. _I am now._

"Well?" Finn asked from behind his helmet, raising his voice as if he'd been trying to get her attention for a while.

Ben bent to snatch the bucket from the ground and a mischievous quirk of one eyebrow hinted at his intention. He grabbed a whole handful of scrap and chucked it in Finn's direction who reacted with wild swipes of the weapon. Flailing and cursing, his blade connected with nothing but empty air as he was pelted with spare parts.

_It's a light saber, not a fly swatter,_ Ben teased, now loud enough for Finn to hear. And Rey could only stare, dumbfounded.

Ben, who had been tortured to the very brink of his body's limits only hours ago, was now making _jokes_. He wore a devilish smirk as he watched for Finn's reaction, but Rey didn't miss how Ben stole a glance her way. And with that expectant look came the realization that this was for her. The sarcasm, the teasing … he was trying to make her _laugh._

Of course, it was for her. Ben had never complained of anything that happened at the hands of the Sith, never shown a hint of fear, making every moment they had together as joyful as possible. He was putting on a different kind of mask for her, one that would hide his suffering completely and keep her at ease.

Rey wanted to kiss him and punch him at the same time.

Before she could do either, Finn responded stiffly to Ben's jab, pushing up the blast shield, flicking off the saber, and placing his hands on his hips in an over-dramatic display of outrage.

And Rey _did_ laugh then - a bubbling sound that was born of anxiety, but ended in something much more free and light by the time it escaped her lips. It was a release of tension, and it felt good to smile a _real_ smile, if only for a few seconds.

"You dirty son of a Bantha," Finn growled, lip curled in frustration as he rubbed at a sore spot on his shoulder.

Ben stepped toward Finn wearing a theatrical pout. _You wound me, Finn._

"Oh, switch off."

Ben smiled as he held his hand out for his saber and Finn proffered the weapon. Ben flicked it to life again and the warm hum of the balanced blade sang through the Falcon's corridors.

It was so perfect in his hand, the awe she'd felt when she'd first glimpsed it poured over her again and Rey couldn't help but close the distance to Ben, wrapping an arm around his waist and raising to her tiptoes to whisper into his ear. "It's magnificent." She nibbled a small kiss against his earlobe and stepped back quickly just in time to see Finn choke back a fake gag.

She felt a rush of pride down the Bond, followed by the immediate heat of desire, which had visibly dappled Ben's cheeks with color, even through the faint glow of the Force that hung around him.

An intense reaction for such a light touch.

Ben's ears were sensitive… she filed away that knowledge for later. She'd have to remember to pay them more attention next time.

 _Thank you._ Ben said, trying to sound casual with his response to her compliment while Finn was watching, but Rey didn't miss the grit in his tone and the fact that he'd already swallowed three times and adjusted his stance twice.

Rey wondered what color he would turn if she kissed slowly along the outer shell of his ear, how his voice would sound if she sucked on his earlobe and threaded hands through his hair, all the while whispering with warm breath against his skin about how much she wanted him.

Oh stars, she couldn't wait to watch him unravel beneath her touch. Payback for what he'd done to her.

He was chewing his lip now, curling and uncurling his fingers into fists and Rey wondered if he was sensing the direction of her thoughts.

Chewie rumbled a greeting from behind her and Ben jumped a bit, obviously jolted back to reality. Rose had joined them too, hanging back with Chewie to lean against a bulkhead, likely to see what the laughing had been about earlier.

Ben pressed his lips together and exhaled, focusing again on Finn. Rey couldn't help but feel a tiny bit smug as she observed the sheer amount of effort Ben was putting forth to simply concentrate on what he wanted to say. _Jedi Ready position is the basis for most combat Forms. Of the seven forms, Shii-Cho is the easiest to begin with. You should work first on learning the attack zones and choosing the correct parry. Rey, can you grab the_ Chronicles?

Rey knew the text he spoke of. The _Chronicles of Brus-Bu_ was the most practical of all of the Jedi texts she'd read, having used its guidance to heal the crystal in Anakin's lightsaber. Not only that, but the old tome had several helpful diagrams outlining lightsaber combat techniques including zones of attack and an overview of several of the earliest combat forms.

She pulled the old tome from a compartment in the crew's quarters and rejoined the others. Ben was already giving an introduction to the zones of combat now, demonstrating an appropriate parry for each attack.

Ben fell back a few paces before drawing a circle in the air with his saber in the space just in front of Finn's head. _This is zone one. Any attacks to zone one will be in the form of overhand chops to the head._ He brought his saber down in a slow arc from above. _So the resulting parry should be a horizontal block._

Rey set the text on a stack of storage bins and stepped forward with her saber, demonstrating the parry. Then she passed her weapon over to Finn, allowing him to try the block.

 _Your right arm and side are zone two_. Ben brought his weapon across to cut at Finn's right side. _Since an attack to this zone will be a horizontal side swipe_ , _the logical counter is the vertical parry._

He let Finn practice each parry in a slow, sweeping motion to feel the way his body had to shift its weight to maintain control. _See if you can sense my next move with the Force._

Ben went through all six zones of attack, one by one, showing the counter to each strike and practicing them several times. He pulled out the text, pointing to corresponding diagrams that reinforced his teaching. He ended with zones five and six – the legs, which were attacked in low swiping movements and countered with drop parries where the saber hilt was held at the waist. Finn was fascinated, asking for him to repeat the attacks again and again, faster and faster, as he practiced each parry.

Rey's heart swelled as she stepped back to join Rose and Chewie against the bulkhead to watch the lesson. Leia had tried to teach Rey the basics of combat stances and forms, but had eventually settled for the fact that Rey was a hybrid of forms and would never truly understand, in a scholarly fashion, what she'd managed to learn by instinct. Ben however, seemed to know exactly which mistakes Finn would make before he made them. He went through these motions like one who had taught them several times and she wondered how many padawans he'd helped train at Luke's temple.

Rey was completely transfixed by him. Every move of his body pulled her in, demanding her attention. The way his eyes gleamed with pride, reflecting the light of his saber when Finn perfectly executed a maneuver, the way his hair fell across his forehead when he leaned to adjust Finn's stance, the casual rake of his hand through though those midnight waves, ugh… it _did_ something to her. Her heart was beating faster with anticipation just watching him. It took everything she had not to run to him, to demand his attention on her instead. Force, she was completely powerless to stop the yearning tightness in her chest and the dizzy weightlessness his very presence caused.

Rey stood watching, struck by everything she'd learned of Ben Solo. She was awed by the way he completely ignored his own pain, instead, choosing to bring her happiness through laughter. She was fascinated by the endearing vastness of his knowledge of the Force, the quirky charm of his scholarly pursuits as a young man, and the way his physical presence completely dominated any space he was in. All of it together hit her at once. Though Chewie and Finn had seen it first, it finally struck her with enough force that she could admit it to herself, she could form the words in her mind.

She was in love with him.

Rey _was_ in love with Ben Solo.

Ben stiffened, in the middle of his review of each parry and he stepped back, turning to look at her. He was drawing on the Bond, pulling for more of the feelings she must have been sending without even being aware.

Rey swallowed hard before offering a soft smile and opening herself to their connection, sending a pulse of that same tightness in her chest, that dizzy weightless feeling she'd had as she watched him, letting him feel the warmth of her emotions flow down the Bond.

But at that moment, something cinched tight around the Bond, like a frozen noose contracting around the pulse of life between them. Ben staggered back as Rey clutched her chest, whispers filling her mind.

A shrill alert from the cockpit indicated they'd come out of hyperspace.

"Are you okay?" Finn had deactivated Rey's blade and was darting worried glances between the two of them.

"The Sith," Rey said, hardly recognizing her own raspy voice, tight with anger at the intrusion.

When she looked back, Ben had disappeared, his saber clattering to the ground. Finn picked it up and handed Rey's weapon back to her as they all rushed to the cockpit. Rey was still seething as she took the open co-pilot's chair next to Poe. Out the viewport, Lothal hung suspended against the black expanse of space, a patchwork of blues and browns, streaked by clouds that could have been painted on by an artist's smooth brushstrokes. Its beauty was a stark contrast to the strangling feeling that was gripping her in the most sacred part of herself. The Bond.

There was definitely something on this planet.

"Captain Kin said our best bet is here." Poe leaned forward on the edge of the pilot's seat, pointing to a point on the holomap floating over the console.

"Northern Lothal?" Rey asked. And if she hadn't been so kriffing distracted by everything, she might have thought to speak with Kin herself.

"That's what he thought, unless you have a better idea," Poe said.

Rey sighed, wishing they would just trust her to fly by instinct, but Poe always seemed to want to have some coordinates in mind to begin with. The good news was, if Captain Kin was involved, his coordinates were probably close anyway. He'd been very interested in the Sacred Texts when he'd first seen Rey reading them. It turned out he had datapads full of facts and figures about the Jedi Order. He was what Leia called, a collector of facts. And Kin's facts were seldom wrong.

So Rey settled back, trying to appear at ease as Poe worked the Falcon's controls and guided them to the agreed upon coordinates.

As if to prove his point, Kin's location turned out to be very close. It had taken them to the northern reaches of Lothal, where the grasslands met tundra. Out the viewport, Rey noticed the plants, the grass, even the earth itself was leeched of color here, as though the cold had frozen any hint of brightness from the terrain. Wind rolled across the thin grass in waves, giving the land a rippling pulse and Rey had the sense that this place was breathing. Soon, the pull of the Force became a humming in her ears, joined by a pressure in her chest, and Rey knew her suspicions were correct.

She closed her eyes, reaching deep into that web of balance and felt something enormous, pulsing with light and dark.

"There!"

Poe cocked an eyebrow, following her pointed finger. "You mean that endless field that looks just the same as the one we just passed, which was also identical to the one before that?"

Finn's lip twitched, obviously trying not to laugh as he leaned over her seat.

Rey smacked him on the shoulder and Poe relented, pulling at the Falcon's controls and circling back to where she had pointed.

Chewie roared something about Poe's rough landing before they disembarked by way of the loading ramp and stood gazing out over the endless undulating grasslands.

BB-8 chirped. "Yeah. Don't ask me," Poe said.

The wind whipped over Rey's clothes and through her hair, teasing out strands from the sides of her buns. The icy chill stung her skin and Rose was already clomping back up the ramp to the Falcon.

"No one mentioned this place was going to be so cold!" Rose said.

They all went to retrieve warmer gear, all except Chewbacca who stood looking as smug as a Wookiee could look. Rey shrugged on a long, dark-grey cloak Leia had given her before one of their Resistance recruiting missions to Mygeeto. Leia had always thought Rey needed to do a bit more with her wardrobe and tried to nudge her in that direction whenever she could. She could still hear Leia's words on the matter…

_Dress for the impression you want to have on others. Your appearance is your greeting and an unspoken conversation. Do not underestimate the power of those first words._

With the cloak heavy on her shoulders, she wished for Leia's advice right now. And not about clothing.

Rey's footsteps rang loud against the loading ramp, the knot of cold growing stronger in the Force as she worried about what she was dragging her friends into. If this didn't work, the best-case scenario was a wasted trip. Worst case… she would unleash the wrath of centuries old Sith.

No pressure at all.

She clenched her fists, striding forward with false confidence across the open field and squinting her eyes against the hazy sunlight. Her friends trailed behind her, silent except for the chattering of teeth. The wind continued whipping relentlessly, and she pulled her hood on to block out the stinging bite of the cold against her cheeks. The hiss of each blustery current through the grasses and low shrubs was soon joined by those familiar whispers in her mind. The Sith.

She reached out, feeling Finn's presence in the Force at her side, trying to listen. Next to the whispers, she heard _other_ voices. Light. The Jedi.

"What is that?" Finn asked, pointing a shaking finger in the direction of a small hill over Rey's left shoulder. A large four-legged creature had risen over the hill. It stood easily as tall as a man, its silvery coat shining in the sunlight, and Rey could swear its keen yellow eyes were watching _her._ Pinning her in place.

Soon, more joined it, not as big as the first silver-coated animal, but equally menacing. Their appearance caused a ripple in the Force that prickled the hair on her arms. Their coats were a dozen varied shades of white, black, and silver and their yellow eyes all shone with the same timeless secret.

"Loth-wolves," Poe said, his voice mixing with the sibilance of the wind and hanging in the air like a bleak warning. When the others looked to him for further explanation, he shrugged. "Maz didn't say much, just that we might see them here. She said to trust them."

Rose leveled a perturbed gaze in his direction. "And you decided to tell us there might be giant wolves here _after_ the giant wolves show up?"

Poe stared out at the creatures, as though making a decision. "Well that big one could have eaten us already, so it seems Maz was right. They don't mean us any harm."

"If your method of judging the danger of a situation involves waiting to see if we are eaten, I'm not sure I can accept your leadership any longer," Rose said, resting a hand on the blaster at her hip.

Chewie felt for his bowcaster and Poe, too, had a grip on his blaster as the wolves continued to stare hard at Rey. Finally, the largest Loth-wolf shifted its gaze to Finn and then, as one, they turned and began padding down the back of their hill the way they'd come.

Finn was following them before Rey could even wave a hand for the others to do exactly that. Her friend's eyes darted back and forth over the landscape. He felt it too. The electricity, the way the energy mixed in the air.

"What is this?" he asked, turning a wide-eyed gaze in her direction.

"I don't know," she said honestly, bowing her head to keep the blowing dust out of her eyes as she trailed behind the wolves.

The land eventually smoothed, the hills spreading into a flat depression wide enough to hold twenty Falcons side by side. Having reached the middle of this hollow, the wolves turned to their group again and Rey felt their intention through the Force, though they didn't speak.

"It's here," Finn said, confirming what she'd already sensed.

The wolves turned to them once more, and Rey could swear the largest one nodded, a barely imperceptible dip of its long snout before it led the others away, sprinting and finally disappearing beyond the hills of Lothal's wind-whipped grassy horizon.

Standing where the wolves had stood, grappling with what the kriff to do next, she suddenly felt much too small to affect any change whatsoever. Next to the immensity of the Force here, she was an insignificant sand flea grappling with the problem of how to move mountains.

"Well that was weird," Poe said from somewhere far behind her. "Now what?"

"We listen," Finn said, looking to Rey. "Right?"

But she was already trying, because somehow she could sense Ben was closer here. The Bond was still gripped tight in an invisible fist of ice, but his presence was nearby. And she had the horrible feeling that if only she knew what to do, she could get to him.

She closed her eyes, focusing on the pulsating energy, feeling the immensity of its pull, coming from just below her feet. She tried to grasp for it, to tug at the threads of that energy and she felt something shift.

"Focus on the source of the energy and pull," she said to Finn through clenched teeth.

She could sense his Force searching, brushing against hers and fumbling to grasp that energy. He did join in pulling, but still, something wasn't right. It wasn't moving. She doubled her efforts, pressing her eyes closed, reaching out physically with a tense hand to grasp for the energy below their feet. She was breathless by the time she finally stumbled back, unsuccessful.

She growled, kicking at a sickly shrub, the sound of her frustration swallowed almost instantly by the howling wind.

That was when she felt it, that cold fear and anger in her core beginning to swell with power, and Rey could practically hear Ben screaming for her help. She needed to get to him, to find a way to break through to him.

She reached underneath her cloak, the chill air stinging her nose and throat and she breathed deeply as she seized the Palpatine saber at her belt. The voices sighed in relief and something clicked into place. The saber became a conduit for her chaotic emotions, gathering that icy ball of anger she'd hidden away, before unraveling it and lashing it to the Force itself. As she closed her eyes, she felt the icy pulse of pure power to the time of her own heartbeat, and she reached below the earth to search for the energy she was seeing. She _would_ open that gateway.

The dry layer of dirt cracked and shifted below their feet and Rey let herself go deeper, thinking of nothing but her rage. Fear. Desperation, as she clawed for more of the Force and drew it into herself. But nothing more happened. Nothing moved.

Rey screamed.

Why was it never enough? Why couldn't she ever get to him?

"Rey." Finn's voice came from somewhere behind her, but her skin was tingling with the icy chill of darkness and she continued to pull.

Lothal's cold wind wrapped around her, transforming the burning trails of tears running down her cheeks into stinging streams of ice. And still she pulled for more power.

"Rey, stop!"

Finn's voice was so far away now, drowned out by the screaming rage in her veins. Carried away by the glacial flow of her fury as she continued to channel the Dark Side, feeling pieces of herself being swept away by the current.

A hand gripped her arm and still, she didn't slow the flow of the Force. She couldn't stop reaching for the gateway. She didn't even open her eyes, not wanting to break concentration. It was only when something cracked ominously below her feet and the solid ground below her shifted, forcing her to stumble back, that she finally opened her eyes. The ground writhed and twisted like a living thing beneath her, rumbling menacingly as it threatened to swallow her whole.


	19. Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot wait for you all to read this chapter! I had tears rolling down my face when I saw the first of JenniferLadyBug's amazing illustrations. I'm sure you'll guess which one when you see it. We've got a lovely way of making each other cry, don't we? Also speaking of illustrations, go back and check out the chapter titled Birthright for some lovely new art. Now Haunted is officially illustrated all the way through, woo hoo!
> 
> Next update will not be until mid-week next week unless a miracle happens (I know, a whole week!) But work is crazy, there are so many sick patients to see and I've had much less time for writing this week.
> 
> Thank you all for the wonderful comments, they are everything!

Lothal quaked below her feet as dark energy continued to course through her. She'd been drawing so hard on the Force for so long, she thought maybe it wasn't the ground moving at all and it was just her own body shuddering. But taking a glance at her friends, standing rigid with their eyes trained on the dirt beneath their boots, she knew it wasn't just her.

Then, suddenly, everything was still.

The trembling earth and the hiss of wind through the tall grass was replaced by an eerie quiet. Birds that had been flitting around in the low-lying shrubs were unnaturally absent now and she felt the gazes of her friends turn to her.

No. _No!_

How was it, that despite the raw power chasing through her veins, and the Force completely dominating her body and mind, Rey was still no closer to opening the gateway? She could sense it deep underground. She was so close, but the power wasn't enough.

Something whispered to her that it would never be enough. She needed to go further… the Dark Side was so much easier, so much _power…_

Emotion gripped her like a clenched fist around her throat, choking the air from her as she continued to dig deeper from the darkness, gasping for breath and shaking from the effort.

Her vision had begun to tunnel as a voice broke through her fury. _Rey._

Ben's voice. That rich baritone that always managed to cut straight through to her no matter where she was.

His power manifested not long after his voice, wrapping around her darkness with the brightness of a neutron star. As soon as he swathed his warmth around the icy power she wielded, she sensed a change in the gateway. Where the ground merely quaked and writhed before, now, mercifully, she felt something shift far below her feet before the hard shell of Lothal's frozen crust began to crack.

 _I don't have much._ Rey felt his weakness down the Bond, realizing how drained he already was. She tried not to imagine what had caused him to be so weak, as they continued to wield the Force in tandem, gripping the temple to free the gateway.

Something joined them, another source of warmth cutting through the chill of the Lothal tundra, and she recognized the Force signature. It was like sunlight on her back and she was surprised at his strength.

Finn.

Ice, starlight, and sunshine - and together they supported each other in the Force until the tip of a stone spire broke through the surface of the ground. They were all driven to step back as the temple continued to push up through the soil, like the great horn of some impossibly large creature emerging after a decades long slumber.

With trembling arms still extended, Rey grabbed for Finn's hand, continuing to leverage their Force against the stone and pushing the rest of it to the surface. They stumbled back to keep away from the rushing hiss of sand and debris cascading down the sides of the structure as the temple jutted farther into the hazy Lothal sky.

She couldn't see Ben, but she felt him as his Force was exhausted and he slipped back to the World Between Worlds. Even from the In-Between, she could sense his proximity now.

They were agonizingly close.

Rey blinked away the fog in her mind, shaking out her numb fingertips and lifting her chin to view the temple. Having reached its full height, it towered before them. The conical structure was tall enough to block the sun, casting a long shadow across the grassy plain. Even so, it was not the grand feat of architecture she'd imagined when she thought of an ancient Jedi temple. There was no intricate ornamentation, no fancy structural design. It could have been a grain silo for all she knew.

"That's it? That's the sacred Jedi temple?" Poe asked incredulously, dividing a glance between her and Finn. "It looks like an oversized termite mound."

But Rey couldn't answer. Exhaustion hung over her vision like a veil, and the only reason she was still standing was because of her stubborn unwillingness to release the icy fear in her chest. The fury was still there, and she clutched the Palpatine saber to focus it. If she didn't keep it coursing through her, she sensed she would stagger and fall, and maybe never get up again. Blood crashed loudly in her ears with each beat of her heart and she was stomping toward the temple entrance, carried by pure adrenaline.

From a distance, the opening was just a long vertical slash cut through the center of the temple. As they neared it though, she glimpsed the carefully fitted door deeply set into the stone.

Finn was first to reach a trembling hand toward the rusted door handle. It swung open unceremoniously with hardly a push. Poe and Rose exchanged nervous glances about the ease of their entry before the entire group slowly crossed through toward the center of the structure, shuffling forward nervously, half-expecting something horrible to jump out and block their path.

The air was cool and damp inside and the farther they went, the thicker the musty odor became. Besides the smell, the only hint that this temple had remained underground for decades was the thick layer of dirt coating the stone floors. Strangely, the stonework walls and flooring were still intact, not a single slab was out of place.

The vaulted ceilings rising up toward the peak of the temple trapped the rhythmic tapping of their footsteps and sent the sound echoing up the open spire over their heads. As they continued inside, and the doorway was left farther and farther behind, Poe was forced to retrieve his flashlight from his belt to guide their way. Finn lit Ben's saber and Rey held hers out in front of her to see where they were going. She kept her other hand tightly gripped around the Palpatine saber at her waist, just in case.

There was no question about their destination as they neared the spire's center supports and were awed by a perfectly preserved mural set against a towering wall that rose the length of the temple. The mural was at least four times as tall as she was and depicted three figures - The Ones. And they were just as Ezra had described.

The Daughter, dressed in white to signify the Light, stood to the left. The Son, dressed in black to signify the Dark, stood to the right with his fist outstretched. And finally, the Father loomed in the middle to represent Balance. A pack of loth-wolves was depicted, outlined in gold, some sitting on their haunches, others lounging at their masters' feet. The Ones stood in front of a background of concentric circles and geometric patterned lines which Rey could immediately see was meant to represent the World Between Worlds.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/fzKDzAS.jpg)

Her heartbeat quickened as she stepped forward toward the mural. Her friends watched in silence, not daring to move. Rey breathed deeply, trying to bury the fury and terror churning inside of her, quieting her thoughts to listen as Ezra had instructed, and she placed her palm against the Daughter's open hand.

She reached out through the Force, opening herself to the expanse of energy all around. But all she could hear were the dark whispers in her mind, all she could feel was the frozen fury in her belly. She tried once more, drawing deeply on the Force, but it was like trying to use a circular spanner on a squared bolt.

Nothing happened.

Fear shot like a frozen arrow through her heart and she started backwards. Rey clenched her teeth as tears began to prick behind her eyes. Helpless. She was helpless to get to him. They'd come all this way and the gateway was locked to her. Because she wasn't strong enough.

And she was so kriffing tired of this feeling.

Finn gave her a concerned glance, biting his lip before he stepped forward toward the Daughter's hand.

If she wasn't strong enough to open the gateway, there was no way Finn would be. But her friend was as stubborn as she was, and she wouldn't deny him the ability to try. So, she watched as he placed his palm against the mural as she had done and waited for the inevitable non-response from the Force.

A whisper hissed in her mind. _Speak to the Son._

She recognized the robotic drawl as Malak's voice, and yet, she obeyed, unable to accept that the gateway could remain closed to Ben. The risk of working with the Sith was worth the reward.

So, with Finn's palm pressed against the Daughter's hand, she followed the whispered command and pressed a fist against the Son's.

Light and Dark. Peace and Anger. It swirled around them, wreathing their heads in power as the golden halos encircling the hands of the Daughter and Son illuminated. The mural moved, like gears clicking into place in a giant timepiece, the circles and intersecting lines illuminated and aligned. When the geometric patterns had rotated into complete alignment, a powerful golden pulse radiated from the center outward.

Faint voices filled Rey's mind as the mural seemed to come alive.

_We are the Ones. The beginning._

The golden loth-wolves stirred, sitting up and pointing their snouts to the sky, howling their ghostly calls to the echoing walls. Then, they rose to all fours, striding from their places in the mural across the stone. Like paintings come alive, they padded down the darkened corridor, sticking to the stone as they led the way into the darkness.

Her friends' mouths were all agape as they trotted after the painted wolves. Finn was first, seemingly entranced by the movement of the creatures, following them closely and stopping suddenly as the wolves halted and began to chase each other in circles against the stone wall. Faster and faster they went, until they had reached a sprint, following after each other in a giant circle as they slowly became…

A gateway.

The wolves had become a portal and Rey could now hear the voices of the Sith rising into a cacophonous drone of whispers, closer now than ever.

Before she could order him back, Finn had reached out toward the center of the gateway. As his hand passed through the stone, a bolt of lightning coursed up his arm. He winced with what looked more like shock than pain and glanced once over his shoulder at her before stepping through the gateway.

"Finn!" Poe was running headlong toward the portal, which became solid as soon as he touched it, and he slammed into the stone, staggering back to the floor.

Chewie offered a hand to help him up and Poe wobbled to his feet, rubbing his forehead. "Of course I can't just walk through the damn thing," he mumbled. "That would be way too kriffing easy."

Rey took one more look at her friends and stepped through the gateway after Finn. She heard Rose calling her name, but it was swallowed by the blackness of the In-Between as she emerged on the other side.

It was just as she remembered from the Great Tree's vision. A midnight void dotted by stars and cut through by blinding white lines, and behind her, a circular gateway leading back to Lothal. They'd done it. They'd opened a path to the World Between Worlds.

The weight of this victory sagged her shoulders and she could have collapsed from relief. And she would, as soon as she found Ben.

She knew he was close, she could sense…

"Ben!"

His robes were more tattered than before, torn at the chest, and his outer robes were disheveled, but there he stood farther down the path. He was really here. And she didn't hesitate, sprinting toward him with the power of her pent-up fear to propel her.

Ben finally seemed to register that Rey was actually there, as he shook his head, knitting his dark brows together and ran toward her, too.

When they met in an embrace, she realized that the Force projection she'd been settling for was nothing compared to the solid warmth of his real body against her. His energy hummed everywhere around her and through her, enveloping her in his presence. The fabric of his robes draped over her shoulders as he brought his arms up to encircle her completely. The heft of his solid form was striking in this moment, as she understood that what he'd been trying so hard to give her was but a shadow of what he actually felt like, strong and sturdy, flesh and blood. Now, here he was, her perfect mirror in the Force. Here was the man that she _loved._

She pulled back to cup his cheeks in her hands, his eyes, those beautiful fierce eyes, powerful and needy all at once were so much sharper here. Tears clouded her vision and she swallowed against the building emotion, recalling the last time she'd seen him this way. Just before he'd collapsed on Exegol.

No. Never again. She would not lose him again.

And she pulled him down to her, pressing a promise against his lips that she would never let him go. He responded with a perfect caress of his own, his mouth fitting against hers like a missing part of herself. Stars, he felt so good, tasted so good. And she could have let her passion envelop her right then, had he not pulled away much too soon.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/S1V4SJN.jpg)

"We have to hurry," he said, taking her by the bend of her elbow and practically towing her toward the gateway.

She was halfway there before she remembered. "Finn!"

He shot her a look that twisted at the fear in her chest, reminding her that she hadn't shed those cold feelings yet. His dark eyes were wide, his lips drawn into a tight line.

Ben Solo was terrified. "What? Where is he?"

Rey cast about in the darkness, looking down each path but seeing no trace of her friend. "He entered the gateway first. I thought..."

She went silent as something shifted in the Force. It started as a slow pull, like a breeze blowing in the opposite direction, a light tug on her energy. But soon, the feeling was magnified, and Rey clutched her chest to keep from staggering.

"Oh Gods." Ben's voice caught in his throat, half-choked as he turned to look over his shoulder. She'd never heard him so afraid and Rey knew what she would see when she turned.

The Sith.

Darth Nihilus, the specter in that chilling mask skimmed across the floor and Rey realized it was he who was causing the disturbance. Now that he was close, the gentle, easy tug on the Force had intensified. It pried at her energy now, the weight of his unnatural strength shocking in its potency. Nihilus was a black hole, and everyone around him was helpless to defy his gravity.

Behind him, Malak stood with his lightsaber brandished across Finn's throat. He raised his eyebrow expectantly in Ben's direction as he approached.

Malak's metallic voice carried over the drone of his weapon as he continued to gaze at Ben. "How cute that you let this one hold your lightsaber, Solo."

Rey glanced down to Ben's saber hilt, still gripped in Finn's hand. He didn't dare activate it with a plasma blade held to his neck. Malak readjusted his grasp on her friend's arms, his scarlet blade buzzing close enough to singe the collar of Finn's coat.

Ben didn't respond to Malak's jab. In fact, he showed no outward reaction whatsoever and was keeping his Force clamped down tight. He knew better by now, having likely learned his lesson the hard way.

Rey was filled to the brim with her own rage as she imagined the torture he'd endured. It took everything she had to keep from charging at the Sith in that moment. But Rey knew they needed to do this together.

First, Ben needed his lightsaber.

She felt Malak and Nihilus reaching out, trying to cinch that icy noose tighter around their connection, but even the Sith couldn't completely silence the Bond, and Ben's voice was in her mind. _I'm going to pull my saber from Finn. Get him free and we'll run. I'll cover you._

She wanted to scream at him that _she_ would cover their retreat. He'd suffered enough, and if this didn't work. Well, she couldn't even consider that.

But his hand was reaching out and his saber flying through the darkness already. Rey sprinted toward Malak, activating both of her weapons and blocking the Sith's overhead slash with a cross of both blades.

Finn was able to stumble back as Malak was engaged and that was when Ben charged.

She expected brutish swings of his saber, pure power and strength as dictated by the Djem So form that he'd used as Kylo Ren. But even his combat had shifted, and he moved much more fluidly, a perfect compliment to his newly balanced blade as he slashed an arc in the space Nihilus was occupying.

Nihilus' blade seemed to materialize from nowhere, in a flash of scarlet it crossed with Ben's pure white saber in a well-timed parry. But Rey didn't have time to watch them duel, because Malak had pulled away and was now crashing another blow down over her head.

Rey rolled, pulling on the darkness to power her body, coming out of her somersault with sabers blazing, slashing wickedly into Malak's side. He deflected the blow with the Force, sending her backward.

This wasn't going to work. They needed to use their advantage.

Rey reached out to Ben down the Bond, remembering how they'd used their connection to defy the odds in the past. They were a Dyad. They wielded a link between space and time. They needed to use its full potential. They needed to work together.

She leapt over Malak, backflipping as she pulled on the darkness to lift herself higher and landed behind Ben. They had taken on eight Praetorian guards when they'd hardly understood their connection. He'd defeated Snoke and his Knights of Ren. She'd defeated her grandfather. Since then, their Bond had only grown. They could do this.

Ben sensed her intention and pressed his back to hers. Focusing on the golden thread of their connection, she could read his purpose, feel the shift of his body and the flex of his arm before each swing happened. She felt his reach through the Force, his energy twining with hers, light and dark, and she relaxed into him. Letting her walls collapse for him, but keeping an outer shell of defense against the Sith.

Something shifted in that moment. As though an ancient cipher had just been cracked and Rey felt the power of millennia coursing through her. She was not Rey and he was not Ben. They were something ancient, the Force of Ages. They were Balance.

They were One.

And when Ben swung again at Nihilus, Rey sent her Force rushing down their Bond to strengthen his swing. When Rey dodged a blow from Malak, she did it with the speed of two. She was seeing through two sets of eyes, fighting with two bodies but somehow, it felt natural, like she'd done it a thousand times before.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/okdsx4a.jpg)

Ben's body charged with power and strength and Rey was with him. His Force, starlight flecked with darkness, was quickly gaining ground on Nihilus as he pushed back against the Sith's Force drain. Nihilus tried to strangle their Force, but couldn't get a grasp on it and Ben managed to Force-pull the saber from his hand. Rey's body, lithe and quick, wielded dual sabers in lethal strike after strike against Malak who stumbled back. All the while, she felt Ben with her. Her dark Force, now streaked through with bands of white-hot light, powered a shuddering push, sending Malak tumbling onto his elbows with a grunt, his weapon skidding across the floor.

Two bodies, one soul.

Memories coursed through the Bond in flashes and feelings. A masked Sith, red saber in hand and a young Jedi with a saber staff. Revan and Bastila. Their foes litter the ground and they stare at each other, their bodies finally crashing together in an embrace. Rey is the Jedi woman now as she reaches for the Sith's mask. It comes free and his black hair falls over needy, dark eyes. She drags her fingers through his hair, pulling him close. They are entwined in each other and the Force as their lips meet, and she is _home_.

Time flashes forward and Kylo Ren has her strapped to an interrogation chair. Something is stirring in Rey that makes her uneasy. Desire. His mind against hers feels so familiar and she has to bite down against the heat rising unbidden to the surface of her skin. He pulls his mask off and Rey knows she has seen those eyes before.

_The same eyes in different people._

The realization hits both of them at once and they turn to face each other, gazes locked together.

There has only ever been one Dyad across the ages. And the Force has brought that Dyad back for something. For _this._

They _are_ Revan and Bastila.

This sacred moment of realization passed between them, both eternal and instant in the Force, and it was only when someone screamed that they both returned to themselves.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/fBxzec8.jpg)

Malak and Nihilus were on the floor, beaten, staring weakly up at them, waiting for the death blow to take them. But over their shoulder, a third Sith had materialized from the In-Between and stood with an arm hooked around Finn's neck just in front of the gateway.

The cloaked Zabrak, with yellow eyes and a sneer painted with poison, lifted his saber staff in a silent threat.

Malak, wheezing at her feet, managed to choke out a stream of words that chilled her. "You have impeccable timing, Darth Maul."


	20. Push

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot express how blown away I am by your reactions to the last chapter! I am so glad you are enjoying the story (and the beautiful illustrations) Thank you so much for continuing to share your thoughts on this project! And thank you to Jenniferladybug whose job description now includes beta reader! 
> 
> Due to the madness of author/illustrator schedules, updates will now come weekly on Wednesdays until the end of this fic! Thank you amazing readers, you guys are the best!

Rey's blades sparked as she crossed them in front of her, pressing them closer to Darth Malak's neck. The spitting sabers reflected in Malak's cold, grey eyes as he stared back at her from where he'd fallen at her feet. He didn't speak, but dragged the back of his hand across his forehead to wipe away the sheen of sweat that stuck to his tattooed skin.

Next to her, Ben's blade shone like starlight, holding back the ghostly shadow that was Darth Nihilus. Even two of the most powerful Sith Lords in history couldn't match the strength and speed provided by the Bond.

They'd been so close to victory.

Until the arrival of the _third_ Sith Lord had thrown everything into chaos.

Closer to the gateway, Darth Maul held Finn by the neck, brandishing his saber staff threateningly across his body. It seemed that not even Malak or Nihilus knew what Maul's next move would be as they all stared in Maul's direction, waiting for him to speak.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/zCtiHIM.jpg)

The tension of the moment hung heavy in the black void that was the World Between Worlds and Rey was finding it very difficult to breathe, her chest heaving with each shallow breath.

It was Finn who moved first, wrenching himself from Maul's grip with one unexpected twist of his shoulders. He was free only briefly before the Force knocked him back and he received a vicious Zabrak elbow to his side. The blow was delivered with such force, Rey was sure she heard ribs crack.

As Finn stumbled, Maul captured his arms behind him, twisting to keep him pinned. Holding his scarlet saber across Finn's chest again, he waited for him to still. It was only then that Maul finally raised his commanding voice to address Malak. "I'm not in this for _you_. I'm not interested in being a puppet of another Empire. I just want outof this horrid purgatory."

"I assure you," Malak said between rasping breaths at her feet, "I have no desire for puppets. And the gateway is open to you. Thanks to Darth Sidious' granddaughter and your well-timed capture of her friend there, you are free to cross over."

Rey didn't miss the dark ripple in the Force and the way Maul's eyes narrowed with the mention of her grandfather.

Malak's shrewd eyes settled on Rey's face and she yearned to slash her saber across his throat, to slowly erase that self-satisfied expression as he bled out at her feet. But then, Maul tightened his grip on Finn and she realized she was not the one controlling this interaction.

"But if we can discover the key to open _every_ gateway…" Malak split a gaze between she and Ben, making clear the role of the Dyad in his plan, "we will have free reign over the World Between Worlds, control over all space and time. And though it may be a little crowded in the present for all three of us, there will be plenty of room in eternity for more than one Lord of the Sith."

Maul seemed to consider this as Malak spoke again. "Our Acolytes are the reason your spirit found corporeal form once again."

Maul's yellow eyes blazed brighter than Rey's saber. "And if I don't help you?"

"The Sith Fleet is orbiting Lothal now. Our Acolytes are on board the Derriphan. You may consider those implications."

Rey's heart lodged itself in her throat. If the Sith Fleet was near, there was nothing stopping them from destroying her friends as they waited oblivious outside of the gateway.

A pulse of soothing energy, warmth and peace, leaked across their connection. She sent Ben a pointed glare and enclosed herself tighter, behind her icy walls. Didn't he understand? She didn't need peace right now, she needed _power_ if they were going to make it out of this. They needed to be faster, stronger, they needed to harness the Force like they never had. There was no room for calm in that.

Rey leaned forward with her sabers, letting Malak feel the heat from the plasma blades. She basked in the spike of fear it caused, enjoying his slight flinch and the way his pulse jumped a little faster in his temple. "Tell him to let Finn go," she said, her voice a low growl she hardly recognized.

"My dear, were you not listening? He is not obligated to follow my commands. And if you cut my throat, there will be nothing stopping Darth Maul from separating your friend's head from his shoulders." He ignored her weapons buzzing inches from his skin and pushed himself to his feet again. "Or from stopping the Derriphan from repeating the tragic obliteration of an innocent planet. Let's not be hasty here."

"You do not get to bargain with us." Ben's voice was absolutely lethal, his muscular body poised to strike as he gripped his saber tight in one large fist. Rey felt a spark of heat ignite in that place deep inside of her and she wanted to ravage that body right here, feel those fingers against her flesh…

She shook her head. Kriff, what was happening to her?

But there was no tamping down the emotion spilling out of her through the Force, dark passion and desire continued to mix with her fury, enveloping her in their shadowy embrace. That's right, that's what this was... this was darkness, this was power, this was what she needed. And instead of shying away from those passionate thoughts, she drew them into herself like oxygen to fuel her body…

Meanwhile, Malak responded with a casual tone as though the three of them were discussing dinner plans.

"On the contrary," he said. "You'll find that if this were a game of Sabacc, I'd have all the chips to bargain with."

Rey felt like a CryoBan grenade, ready to explode her frozen wrath on everyone around her, and Malak was foolishly playing with the activation pin. She nearly jumped at him then, feeling every muscle tense as she readied an opening slash of her weapons. But then, Ben's light touch came through the Force, trying again to offer warmth. She slammed her cold walls down hard again. Power, she had to focus on the power. Why did he keep trying to distract her?

Nihilus spoke for the first time, his voice scraping through the air in a dry hiss. "There will be no bargain. You're already too late. You will offer the strength of your Dyad or you will die."

Ben's voice rang clear in her mind from across the Bond. _On my count, we get Finn through that gateway._

She nodded, barely perceptible, but she felt his acknowledgment through their connection.

Nihilus rose to stand shoulder to shoulder with Malak, and Ben pressed his blade closer to where the Sith's neck should be. The glow of Ben's saber gave Nihilus an otherworldly glow, and Rey wanted nothing more than to stab through each eye socket and twist, laying waste to the creature hiding behind the mask.

_One._

"I wouldn't do that," Nihilus rasped. "The spirits of the other Sith are close, and the gateway is already open for us."

_Two._

"You are powerful, but you are no match for the entire might of the Sith," Malak warned.

_Three._

Rey sensed Ben's intention, using the Bond to help fuel his leap toward Darth Maul. He soared farther than any of the Sith expected, taking them off guard. Maul was forced to sidestep to block Ben's attack, sliding away from Finn who found himself suddenly freed. Ben's face hardened with concentration as he raised his blade to meet Maul's counterstrike.

"Go!" Ben ordered, waving Finn toward the gateway.

Finn hesitated for a moment, sending Rey a worried backwards glance before he scrambled to the portal clutching his injured side. He stumbled at first but recovered quickly, pushing himself to stand again before he was suddenly frozen in place. His limbs shook with the effort of trying to escape the invisible grasp of darkness anchoring him down.

Malak's outstretched hand clenched the Force itself as he willed the dark energy to do his bidding, keeping Finn immobilized. And with that touch, with that last obstacle laid in the path of freeing Ben, Malak had pulled the pin on her explosive rage. She felt her control collapse and Rey charged, using the added momentum given by Ben through the Bond.

Malak held Finn frozen with one hand while he pulled his saber to him with the other. Rey was sure his parry would be too slow, and she was right. Unfortunately, Nihilus was there with his saber to block what should have been the killing blow against Malak.

She roared. Anger flared everywhere in her mind and a new wave of darkness surged through her body like a rushing tempest. She didn't even try to stop it this time. Lightning coursed from her fingertips, wrapping its ruinous tendrils around Malak. It was a sweet release, passion and anger surging through her. It sated that desire that had been winding itself tight in her belly. She curled a lip into a smile as she watched her Dark Force strangle the life from Darth Malak.

But Malak was a Sith Lord. And as his anger and pain intensified, so did his own power. It opened up before her like a black hole in the Force. Lightning exploded from his hands, meeting Rey's and pushing it back. This was a battle of darkness and Rey was _not_ going to lose.

Electricity arced between them, snapping and hissing, but neither gave any ground to the other. She thought she heard Ben's voice in her mind, a warning, but the darkness was ripping through every cell in her body and she couldn't stop, wouldn't stop until Malak was destroyed.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/Vregvpv.jpg)

It was almost too late by the time Rey saw the glow of a red saber from the corner of her eye, but Ben's energy surged through their connection with a heat that burned through to her frozen core. It sped her reflexes and she slammed an icy flood of Force in Nihilus' direction, sending him sliding across the floor away from Malak. She couldn't waste too much time thinking about how close that blade had been to her neck.

One last heave of energy from Ben down their connection and electricity arced furiously, writhing and twisting, finally overpowering Malak and he stumbled to a knee.

With both Sith Lords down, Rey took the time to look back to where Ben battled Darth Maul closer to the gateway. Ben was holding his own, pushing Maul back in an attempt to keep him away from the portal as he barked more orders to Finn from over his shoulder. She couldn't hear what he said over the crash of sabers, but Finn nodded, sending her an anxious glance before he sprinted through the gateway.

Maul saw an opening caused by the distraction and sent an underhanded blow toward Ben's flank. Rey used the Bond to speed Ben's parry and though Maul's staff struck hard, Ben was able to guide it down toward his crossguard. Using the leverage, he wrenched the saber staff free of Maul's hand.

Maul snarled as he was disarmed, and the saber staff skittered down the dark path behind him. A wave of Ben's palm sent the weapon clattering even farther away and Ben bore down upon the Sith wielding a Force so bright and hot, he was like a star in this sea of blackness.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/YIYHl81.jpg)

The glare Darth Maul gave Ben in that moment would have sent a lesser man running in the opposite direction. But Ben Solo straightened and stepped forward, giving Maul a chance to retreat.

"Rey and I are leaving," he said, looking down at the Zabrak with an air of finality in his voice that did not invite argument.

Rey crossed the space toward Ben. He turned his eyes to her, offering a smile that didn't touch his eyes, and she noted the way his brows wrinkled, the way he drew back from her just slightly in the Force. What was wrong, why was he looking at her like that?

Just then, a sickly fog descended, choking the light from all around them. Even Ben, who still blazed bright in the Force was smothered, like the Jakku sun during an eclipse, as shadows descended on this strange realm between time and space.

The intensity of the warning that sounded in the back of her mind overpowered every other thought.

As she looked around to find the source of the danger, she realized that even the incoming shadows couldn't douse the fire that burned in Darth Maul's eyes. It wasn't long before the Zabrak sprang at Ben again, calling Malak's fallen saber to his hand and flipping into the air, heedless of the fact that the angle was all wrong. Ben blocked the incoming attack with the Force out of pure instinct, reflexes sharper with their Bond still pulsing with power between them, and Maul was thrown back again.

It was when she turned her head to see Maul's body hit hard against the ground, that she saw _them_.

The spirits of the other Sith had emerged from that suffocating mist, their poisonous glares peering through a veil of liquid darkness. Shadows dripped like oil down their forms, giving them the illusion of movement though their positions didn't change. They weren't solid like the other three Sith Lords, but she could sense their power.

_The Sith will not be defeated._

It was Malak's voice in her mind, each word scraping against her nerves and leaving a trail of raw violation in his wake. Gods. His power of mind control was strong if he'd forced through her mental shields that easily. She pulled strength from the Bond to keep him out and felt his shadowy fingers uncurl reluctantly from her mind.

When she finally shook away the shock of having her mental shields breached and looked up to find him, Malak had already reached the gateway.

Cold rage pricked threateningly at her fingertips again. He'd done it to distract her. He'd reached into her mind to buy himself time. She was stupid to become so easily unfocused. She sprinted after him knowing it was too late, he was already so close to crossing through...

She released another wave of Force lightning toward Malak in a last-ditch effort to slow him, feeling Ben strengthen her through their connection. She was the Shadow itself as her passion and pain swelled in darkness and grabbed for Malak, lashing and licking at his flesh.

But as quickly as she had unleashed that Shadow, the floodgates of her Dark Force were sealed and her emotion was bottled up again. The hairs on her neck stood straight as the Force issued another warning and she knew what had happened. She turned to see the spirits of the Sith standing behind her, choking their Bond and creating a Force barrier of their own around Malak.

She sensed Ben's fear as he realized the Sith were intent on passing through to the physical realm. His white-hot Force surged once more and Rey gave what power she could, feeding his strength to push Maul back from the portal and cut off Nihilus' approach.

Rey used everything she had left in that moment to stop Malak from leaving the World Between Worlds. He was so close, mere feet separated him from the physical realm and her friends on the other side.

Power became the chant she spoke as she pulled from every last angry feeling to fuel her attack.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/v3RKI4t.jpg)

Memories churned through the blizzard in her mind. She was a little girl again, being tugged roughly from her parents by Plutt. She was alone and starving after a day of exhausting, fruitless scavenging in the desert. She was close, so close to striking down her grandfather, giving in to the darkness completely to be rid of this weight she carried.

She used all of it, pain to fuel her power, and Malak was trapped for a few glorious seconds, mired in her frozen Force and unable to cross through the gateway.

It bought her enough time to sprint for Ben. His eyes widened slightly as he met her gaze, but his steadying arm was there to capture her around the waist, a reminder that she was not alone. Standing beside him again, feeling his warmth and his supportive frame against hers, it corrected her wandering path through the black night of her own emotions. She let his light in, let it soothe her frozen limbs, let it center her again.

She had to fortify his position before the gateway. She could not let herself fall before Ben Solo was safely through that portal into Lothal. He was her only anchor in an ocean of darkness and she was not letting go.

That was when the shadow of the Sith choked harder around the Bond. Muscles wrenched painfully in her belly, like a puppeteer was orchestrating the pull of strings attached to her core. It lifted her into the air and something snapped, like one of those precious golden cords had been cut through, before she fell to her feet again.

The Sith were snipping away the threads of the Bond.

Panic was a shared emotion through what remained of their connection and Rey felt her control over Malak evaporate. His grey eyes overflowed with arrogance and he shot her a smug look. It pulled a murderous scream from her lips and she could do nothing but watch helplessly as the Sith Lord stepped calmly through the gateway to Lothal.

She thought to run, to grab Ben's hand and sprint for the gateway before the Sith spirits ripped at the Bond again. But Nihilus had cut off their path toward the portal, and Maul had retrieved his staff and begun his own approach from the opposite side. Even the spirits of the Sith were now close enough that Rey could make out their features through the shadows. She could feel their Force, like weights pulling her down and slowing her movements.

Before she could get over her shock and decide which threat to handle first, Ben was taking her face between his hands and pulling her into a kiss. Confusion clouded her mind with questions, why was he kissing her now? But when his lips pressed against hers, fast and urgent, she melted into him as she always did. She knew he was telling her something with the way he pulled away gently and gazed at her. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds, but his eyes, luminous and penetrating, trapped her completely for the duration of that gaze.

She scrunched her brows and sent a question down the Bond. _Ben?_

He brushed the softest caress against her cheek and whispered a mysterious promise. "I will never leave you, Rey."

"What? What's going on? Ben?"

But instead of answering, he turned from her to face the Sith. His lightsaber flared to life again in a surge of white as he Force-pulled Nihilus away from the gateway and into the path of his blade. Their sabers crashed together violently. Rey didn't have much time to contemplate Ben's strange actions before the Bond pulsed urgently, demanding more power through their connection. She obeyed and the intention behind Ben's next move became clear in her mind - a massive Force push. And with Maul approaching, she knew the push was meant for him.

It was only when Rey's body was hoisted into the air that she realized she was wrong.

She cried out as her head snapped forward, stomach lurching from the strength of the push. She hurdled towards the gateway, flailing and clawing at Ben's Force, commanding it to release her. Eventually she did break free, crashing awkwardly to her hands and knees, and raised her head to see that she had already crossed over into Lothal.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/BLZfwwB.jpg)


	21. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! An early update! Your comments and encouragement motivate us to crank out these chapters! So thank you all so much!
> 
> Thanks again to JenniferLadyBug who has to suffer through some horrible first drafts in order to have her illustrations finished on time. She's also had the most amazing suggestions on how to make this story better. So thank you to the best illustrator/beta reader in the galaxy!
> 
> Warning: Do not panic after reading this chapter... I do want to remind you all that I did guarantee a happy ending... eventually...
> 
> The next chapter should be to you in one week, so by Monday! As always, please leave your comments and suggestions, we both treasure them all!

Rey staggered to her feet, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Anger clung to her like a second skin, squeezing too tight and pressing against her chest with a suffocating weight.

How could he do it?

Ben had actually pushed her through the gateway. How _dare_ he make that decision for her?

She'd already decided to sprint back through or die trying, when something prickled the hairs on her neck and she turned to find its source.

Darth Malak.

It was just as she'd feared when she watched him walk through the gateway. Dark Force churned around him, so much blacker here outside of the In-Between, as he pointed the tip of his saber at Poe's heart, pinning him against the stone wall. Her friend's eyes were sharp and accusing, reflecting the scarlet glow of Malak's saber as he stared hard at her. With Malak's other hand outstretched, he held Rose and Chewie in a simultaneous Force choke. Their fingers clawed helplessly at their throats, eyes wide with terror as they struggled for air.

But Malak wasn't even looking at her friends. And he wasn't looking at her. He was focused on something else completely. His Force was _reaching_ for it.

Where was Finn?

Her eyes darted around the dim space of the inner temple until she found him near the Mortis Mural. His hand was pressed against the Daughter's palm, his eyes closed. The circle around it was already illuminated gold, as was its mirror around the Son's hand. Rey knew in that instant what Malak had been focusing on. She glanced toward the portal, farther down the stone corridor. The Loth-wolves were already slowing their rotation, shaking their golden heads, and retreating back to the mural single file along the stone wall.

The realization that Ben would be trapped again was like a bucket of ice water dumped over her head.

"Finn! No!"

He glanced back at her, but didn't remove his hand, which was still pressed firmly against the Daughter's. How could Finn do this to her? Why wasn't he listening?!

"Stop!" A wave of darkness erupted from her hands, slamming into Finn. It struck hard, hurtling his body limply against the mural and he slumped down, dazed.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/Dc2erK7.jpg)

Tears stung behind her eyes as she stared blankly, attempting to process what she'd just done. She tried to swallow, but her mouth was suddenly drier than the Jakku wastes.

She turned to glance at Malak who had a predatory gleam in his gray eyes. He had her. With her three friends in his grasp, she'd never be fast enough to help them. She needed to pull on the Bond if she had any chance of saving her friends. But that was impossible.

The gateway was closed.

The cold was everywhere again. Her eyes stung with it, mixing with the burn of her tears, as she turned her gaze back to Finn. The angle of his body seemed wrong as he lay crumpled at the foot of the mural. She had done that. With her own hand. But she'd had no choice, with their decision to close the portal they'd forced her to choose this path, pinning her like a trapped animal with no other means of escape.

"Finn, why?" she screamed desperately. "Why would you close it when Ben was right there?"

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/QZXEuIh.jpg)

"He asked me to," Finn managed through clenched teeth as he clutched his battered ribs in pain. Oh kriff, she'd forgotten about his injury and she'd slammed him against the wall anyway. "He didn't want to risk more Sith entering and said to close it as soon as you came through. He said we should destroy it, that he'd find another way."

The shock of his words caused the darkness to swell in her again and there was no choice but to ride the immense waves, even though Rey could easily sense the inevitability of being taken under. It was like navigating the oceans of Kef Bir on an undersized sea skiff. It was only a matter of time before one of the swells hit just right, plunging her into frigid waters. She didn't fight it, instead, preparing for it.

Frozen rage seeped from every pore and she shook with the effort of containing it. It hadn't been Malak's influence on Finn's mind that had closed the gateway as she'd first thought. Ben Solo had ordered himself to be locked in. The stupid, heroic ass. He'd demanded to be trapped in the World Between Worlds to keep Nihilus, Maul, and the other Sith from coming through.

How could he _leave_ her, when he _knew_ what it would do to her? After everything she'd sacrificed to set him free?! He'd left her. And it ripped a fresh wound in her soul, right across the one he'd left when he died.

"He threw you away, didn't he?" Malak said, his voice dripping with a sympathetic honey that repulsed her.

His words curdled her blood and twisted at some festering, rotten wound deep inside of her she thought she'd locked away. Because in that place, buried in the depths of her soul, she knew Malak was right. Just as her parents had abandoned her, in an attempt to save her, so had Ben Solo. Again. And in that moment, Rey realized that it wasn't love or sacrifice that could save her. Those things had only ever brought her pain. Rey did not need to be saved, she needed to find the power to save herself.

"You couldn't even open that gateway alone," he drawled. "You couldn't speak to the Daughter. You're already too far gone to the Dark Side, Rey. You've tasted its power and you can't go back. That's why you could speak to the Son to help open it. Just as I spoke to him to close it. You and I are the same, Rey."

The only thing worse than the truth of his words, was her friends' hopeless expressions as they, too, understood that the Sith Lord was speaking honestly. Rey recalled the helpless feeling of being unable to unlock the gateway without Finn, the immediate response of the Son to her Force.

"The problem is, you don't know how to harness the Shadow like I do," he said. "You need a teacher if you want to truly realize your power."

Gods. Her blood was ice in her veins now, panic swirling like a blizzard as it clouded her vision, her very thoughts.

Ben was trapped. With the Sith. And he'd asked for it himself. He'd pushed her away and doomed them both.

Panic bubbled over, washing away all reason, all control. She would not be an instrument for the Force to use as it willed. No. She was tired of being the helpless victim. She'd spent her life waiting. And for what? For the inevitable moment that the Light would punish her for doing the right thing? No more.

The Force was going to be _hers._

She would defeat Malak, make Finn open that portal again, and destroy all of the Sith herself if that's what it took.

She would _not_ be separated from Ben again.

That was when the looming swell of darkness finally overtook her. She'd ridden on that tiny skiff of light for so long, grasping desperately for control, but in that moment, she surrendered herself to those dark, icy waters. She pulled it into herself completely, breathing it, tasting it, feeling the Shadow envelop her completely, drowning deliciously in its power.

And with a scream of raw passion, she threw herself at Malak with both sabers blazing. As her blades struck his, spitting and hissing their protest, something shifted around her. She recognized the unfamiliar way the Force responded as she demanded it to do her bidding. She was no longer simply a part of the Force, an implement of its destiny. The Force was _her_ weapon now and she wielded it alongside her lightsabers.

Power surged through her and Malak was forced to shift his attention from her friends to block Rey's assault. Unable to keep his focus, Rose and Chewie collapsed nearby, rubbing at their throats.

Malak blocked her overhead attack, drawing closer with sabers crossed, speaking over the vicious buzz of the weapons. "If you kill me, there will be no one to rescind the order to destroy the Millennium Falcon and all of its crew."

Rey narrowed her eyes into slits. "Your Sith Fleet can't hear you from way down here. You were stupid to close the gateway and trap yourself where the other Sith can't help you!"

She lifted both sabers quickly over her head before crashing them down together in a double strike against his side. He blocked her. He was an incredible duelist and without the power of the Bond, she realized with a creeping sense of dread, that she might not win this battle. She needed more power, more strength.

"You're wrong," Malak said. "I've been communicating with the Acolytes for years. They can hear me just fine." He sucked in a long, wheezy breath. "And I'm not trapped. You'll be the one to help with that."

Was he telling the truth? Maz had said the Sith Acolytes used artifacts to connect with the spirits of the Sith. Should she call his bluff?

With a flick of his wrist, Malak found just the right leverage to push both of her blades away and she was forced to step back to keep her balance. He pressed his advantage, striking again and again at her weak side, each of her parries becoming slower and slower until finally, he jabbed at her opposite shoulder, cutting into flesh and she stumbled.

He held his blade over her, his chest heaving, eyes wild. "Offer the power of the Dyad. If you do, we will let Solo pass through and your friends will be spared."

She darted a glance farther down the corridor. Rose, Poe, and Chewie had scrambled away to gather near Finn at the base of the mural and now leaned awkwardly, nursing wounds and looking desperately in her direction.

Pain pulsed in her flesh and she drew it in, along with the Force, until it ran black and cold in her veins. She relished the sensation, letting it vibrate against the energy around her, magnified by the Palpatine saber in her hand. She harnessed that pain as pure power, unleashing against Malak in a storm of Darkness.

"If you want it so bad," she hissed between frenzied attacks, "try and take it!"

She was a creature of passion now, blades arcing in uncontrolled sweeps over and over again. But even with pain fueling her strikes and rage pulsing in her ears, her arms began to ache with fatigue as Malak parried blow after blow. She was so close, she could almost feel her saber slicing through his body as she pushed him back. But eventually, her attacks slowed and her swings became more clumsy as her connection to the Force began to wane.

Malak's eyebrows raised in satisfaction. He was toying with her, wearing her down as he held back, blocking and sidestepping. His body tensed the moment he realized he had her, and before she could react, he sliced down with his blade.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/zI5hW47.jpg)

Fire flared in her leg and the sickening smell of her own charred flesh rose from the wound he'd opened along the front of her thigh. It wasn't a fatal blow, but it was enough to cloud her vision and affect her stance. She readjusted her weight, drawing on the pain to fuel her next strike.

Darkness surrounded her, consuming her senses. Fear and fury sent shivers of power through her and she swore she could see her breath, puffing frozen in the air, as she crashed her blades against his. She would not lose Ben like this. She _would_ get back to him.

In that moment, a deafening blast echoed through the inner chamber of the Temple, followed by a wave of heat that prickled against her exposed skin. An enormous cloud of dust and rock rained down from the upper spire onto their heads as she and Malak turned to look at the source of the explosion. Chewie and Rose were nearly through the door of the temple, with Poe helping a limping Finn in the same direction, not far behind.

The walls shook around them and the Force screamed a warning into her mind. The Temple would be a pile of rubble in a few very short moments.

Malak must have sensed what was happening, too, because he was already running. Before Rey followed him, she took one last look to where the The Ones had stood offering a way into the In-Between. The only remaining evidence of the Mortis Mural were charred streaks scoring the walls and dust billowing from the core of the Temple.

The gateway had been completely destroyed.

Rey fought against the numbness spreading out across her limbs, somehow finding the will to sprint toward the crack of light coming through the temple's entry. She gulped the chill Lothal air into her lungs as her legs buckled and she collapsed in a heap outside the Temple. Rey watched from her knees as the whole structure folded in on itself, mushrooming into a cloud of dust into the Lothal Sky. The heavens continued to rain destruction for a few unbearable moments, and along with the shower of falling stone and earth came the punishing barrage of fear and loss. Because as the Temple fell, so did any hope Rey had held for happiness.

The wind picked up, carrying dust across the empty grasslands and clearing the haze that had blotted out the light. Suddenly the Lothal sun seemed much too bright and Rey lifted her hood over her head.

Ben was trapped with two full-bodied Sith in the In-Between, along with an entire army of Sith spirits. He would surely be tortured until the Sith got what they wanted.

He was alone once again, and so was she. And it was _his_ fault.

As if to mock her, the gash in her thigh burned with new, excruciating intensity, pulsing with a biting pain, like a Nexu sinking razor-sharp teeth into her flesh.

The searing agony of her wounds mixed with the rising anguish of losing Ben and she pounded her fists against the ground, a cry ripping from her throat. Her _everything._ Her kriffing _soul. Gone!_ And the world fell away before this all-encompassing pain. She didn't see, didn't hear anything for what could have been seconds or hours. With the weight of the grief pressing in against her, there was no sense of time. There was only a soul rending _ache._

She could have been back on Tatooine and been better off. At least then she'd had the Corellian whiskey to keep her company and dull her pain. Here, all she had were memories.

Memories of his touch, of his Force, of his feelings for her through the Bond. Memories from across millennia. He was her soulmate and he'd ripped himself away leaving…

A void.

Oh Gods, that _void._ From the vision at the Great Tree. She was there again, clinging to a shred of what remained of the Bond, only this time it was not just a vision, it was _real._ That black weight of nothingness shifted, creeping closer to blot out the sun, to take up space in her mind. That void was the hole carved out in her soul when Ben had thrown her away, pushing her through that gateway. The emptiness left inside of Rey had become that dark, fearful abyss, pulling pain and fury into her with the same intense gravitational pull of a black hole.

The dust settled in silence before she became aware of someone screaming her name.

"Rey, let's go!" It was Poe's voice. Poe. The fog in her mind cleared as her brain slowly worked out what had happened. Poe, who she knew always carried a thermal detonator clipped to his belt loop for emergencies. She clenched her teeth against the anger seething uncontrolled through her body, joining her pain, mixing into a bitter cocktail that tasted like bile in her mouth. She wanted to vomit. To scream. To _destroy._

Poe was responsible. Probably at Finn's request, or maybe even Ben's. Her friends had demolished the gateway, and with it, the only shred of light left inside of her.

She lifted a tear-streaked face to see them waving her over from where they stood on the Falcon's loading ramp. In the sky, a triangular shadow loomed too close overhead. The Derriphan. With one blast of a turbo-laser, they could all be wiped from existence.

The whine of a TIE cut through the silence and her friend's screams grew more insistent.

Through the haze of darkness encapsulating her, she saw a figure sprinting across the field.

Rose.

Her hair whipped wildly out of her ponytail and her eyes were red-rimmed. As she approached, Rey saw her face tighten, her body go rigid as she looked down at Rey, still on her knees.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/DPGGZ97.jpg)

"Rey, what are you doing?" Rose's voice quivered like a frightened child. "We have to leave! We – "

But when Rey raised her chin to meet her eyes, she watched the words stick in her friend's throat. Rose's hands shook like the Lothal shrubs quaking in the breeze as she took a tentative step forward, presenting something to her.

"Rey," she began, her voice now trembling just as violently as her hands. "Finn told me what happened. You know Ben _must_ love you. We'll get him back some other way." Then she pushed a ball of black fabric into Rey's hands.

Rey looked down at the tattered shirt. Ben's shirt. And she knew it should mean something to hold it, but the fog of darkness was so thick in her mind, the memory was a fleeting shadow. She turned it over in her cold hands before clenching the fabric hard and letting it hang limply in her fist at her side.

She leveled a steely gaze at Rose. "Love won't save anyone now."

Rose darted a glance back at her friends on the Falcon. She pressed her lips together and leaned in closer. "What are you saying, Rey? Come on, we've got to go."

"They're not going to just let you go, Rose." Her voice echoed hollow in her ears, lifeless like the leeched tundra all around.

Rose's eyes drifted to the Star Destroyer hanging ominously above, and she swallowed hard.

"Get out of here," Rey commanded. "Take the others with you."

"Rey! Rose! Look out! _"_ Finn's panicked voice carried from across the field.

The sizzle of a lightsaber's plasma blade issued from behind her just as Malak's shadowy fingers broke through into her mind.

_Come with me._

The effort required to summon enough frozen Force to push Rose away, toward the Falcon, seemed ten times what it should have been. Her limbs were heavy, her mind foggy, like the exhaustion of dehydration after a hard day of scavenging.

A thick sense of inevitability hung in the Force around her and she lifted a heavy gaze toward Malak.

He dragged his saber in the sand behind him, leaving a scorched trail in his wake as he strode to stand before Rey, where she knelt at his feet. "We will board the Derriphan and work with the Acolytes on a way into the World Between Worlds. With the power of the Dyad, it is possible. It is the only way to save your friends…" Each metallic word cut like a durasteel blade, lodging itself into her very being, magnifying her pain. "It's the only way to save your _Bondmate."_

She couldn't stop herself from flinching at that, the memory of peering through their connection across time to see the power of their Dyad. But in seconds, it was swallowed up by the darkness, disappearing like every other feeling in the void of her heart.

"You know, at times, I can even see the physical resemblance. Revan's spirit is so strong in him. And you, Rey… you have both Bastila's strength… and her stubbornness."

Malak lifted his cold stare to the Millennium Falcon. "Do you see the way they look at you now? They're afraid."

Flashes of that truth played like a holo-vid in Rey's mind. Rose's trembling hand, Finn's anxious glances, Poe's accusing glare, even Ben had seemed afraid when she'd caught him talking with Finn back on Corellia. Gods. What was the point in trying to preserve the light when all it brought was ruin?

Her eyes roved over the devastation left by the collapse of the Temple before settling one last time on her friends. Their faces twisted in desperation as they called out to her. Suddenly, the grassy field between Rey and the Millennium Falcon seemed to widen into an impassable chasm as she realized there was no way she could return with them.

Pressing her lips together to keep them from trembling, she raised tear-filled eyes toward Darth Malak who took a step forward. His saber bathed them both in its crimson light as he reached out a gloved hand to help her to her feet.

With Ben's shirt gripped in her cold fist, she drew from her pain to strengthen her wobbling legs, and stood to grasp the hand of the Sith Lord.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/s4c0eUX.jpg)


	22. Torn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day early, yay! I cannot get over all the comments from last chapter. The "aaahhhhhgh's" and "nooooo's" had me diabolically drumming my fingers together. So, thank you for that!
> 
> As always, thank you to JenniferLadyBug who is truly bringing this story to life. I look forward to her illustrations as much as you do. This may be my favorite set of images yet. Just so you know how much work this is, she has completed 69 (tee hee) images thus far. Wow!
> 
> So if you appreciate her work, give her some love! Leave us a comment because it is the only thing keeping us going. That and our undying love for Ben Solo.
> 
> Now readers, get your bacta patches out, because this one is going to sting… Next update in one week!

Rey clasped Malak's gloved hand weakly and he squeezed, a little too hard as he helped her to her feet. She was sure he would have offered a slimy substitute for a smile if he had lips. Instead, he twitched a muscle in his cheek and narrowed his eyes.

"Come. We have work to do."

Rey trailed Malak, each step sending a shock of agony down her leg, a painful reminder of how he'd dominated her in combat. They trudged up the side of a steep ridge overlooking the grassy tundra, with Rey periodically considering stabbing him through with a saber from behind.

She tried to ignore the Falcon's engines as they roared to life behind them, but as the ship took off, the Void in her heart seemed to swell again, threatening to pull her under. And Rey was again forced to consider the unpleasant fact that she needed Malak. She needed his instruction, the secret to his power, and his knowledge of the World Between Worlds if she was to ever feel whole again. So, she clenched her hands into fists and pressed on, pretending not to see the silhouette of a Corellian Freighter lifting out of Lothal's atmosphere.

Soon, the hissing breeze and rasping breath of Malak were joined by the howl of a TIE in the distance.

The ship came into view, circling once before dropping down on the ridge opposite them. And with the appearance of that ship, Malak's claim of being in communication with the Acolytes was proven to be truthful.

A Sith Eternal pilot climbed from the cockpit, his scarlet helmet and flight suit a stark contrast to the colorless landscape. The pilot took a knee in the sand, and raised his helmeted head, grinding a greeting through his voice modulator. "My Lord, your transport is on its way."

"Tell Captain Sabrond she is to allow the freighter to leave the planet freely," Malak said.

"Yes, My Lord."

The pilot gave a respectful nod before climbing again into his TIE. The ship remained grounded, likely waiting to accompany the discussed transport back to the Derriphan.

They stood in silence, wind whipping through their cloaks as they waited for the transport. Rey adjusted her stance a half dozen times, trying to keep the weight off her injured leg. She attempted to draw the pain closer, to transform it into power, but not having an outlet for her rage, she was struggling. The Void was pulling her down, she was falling endlessly into that empty pit. Half of her soul had been carved out and the misery of it was clouding everything.

She gritted her teeth as she choked back a miserable groan.

"You waver in your commitment to the Darkness, Rey," he said, grey eyes settling on the black, tattered piece of fabric she still gripped in her fist. "You must extinguish the last vestiges of Light in your Force. That is why your wounds ache as they do."

Her voice was as robotic as Malak's through his prosthetic jaw when she responded. "What must I do?"

"We will attend to some business on the Derriphan, and then, I will show you."

* * *

The yawning entrance of the Derriphan's main hangar opened before them, overhead lights blinding, even through the viewport, as it swallowed their transport ship.

Rey remembered the last time she'd stood in the hangar of a Star Destroyer. Kylo Ren had revealed the truth about her grandfather and asked her to join him.

She'd jumped off the edge of the platform.

But now, here, there was no one to rescue her. She'd made sure of that. She was going to be the one doing the saving from now on. She pushed the memories away to focus on what mattered.

Power. She was here for power.

Rey trailed Malak down the loading ramp, her eyes catching on the shiny carapaces of the Sith Troopers. Like a hundred blood-soaked Scavenger Beetles rushing toward a carcass, they surrounded the shuttle. But instead of cowering nervously as the stormtroopers had in the presence of Kylo Ren, they lined up to salute Darth Malak in a spectacular show of synchronized respect.

Their motions were well-rehearsed, and she could feel the waves of awe cascading in the Force around them. It was clear that these Sith Troopers had been trained to revere the Sith and had been expecting Darth Malak's return.

She felt the gazes of the Troopers shift to her as Malak motioned for Rey to walk at his side. She tried and failed to hide her limp as they strode down the corridor of Sith Troopers standing at attention.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/JjNIvvy.jpg)

At the far end of the line, a woman in officer's garb knelt before them. Just behind her, a smaller crew of slightly lesser ranked officers also knelt, turning gazes to Malak.

"Darth Malak," the woman said, her voice carrying the same veneration that hung in the hangar all around. "Our Acolytes promised your return, and the Shadow has delivered. We are honored to be at your service, My Lord."

"Rise Captain Sabrond," he said. "You have done well, and we have much to discuss."

"As you wish, My Lord." The Captain nodded, keeping her eyes downturned in deference. "The Acolytes await your command. As does the remaining fleet."

"Good," he crooned. "See to it that my apprentice, Mistress Palpatine, is cleaned up and provided with appropriate dress."

The Captain's eyes widened, just a glimmer of excitement reflected there, before she recovered quickly into a practiced statuesque expression. "Of course. Mistress Palpatine will be well taken care of. It is an honor to serve her, as well." She nodded to a freckled woman in the group of officers behind her, who jumped to attention.

"If you would please follow me, Mistress," the freckled woman said. "I will gladly see to His Lord's order."

"You will rejoin me as soon as you are finished. To begin your training," Malak said, leveling his steady gaze at her.

Rey nodded, turning to follow the freckled officer's perfectly orchestrated steps. The ache in her leg made the journey feel endless. They marched past countless sterile corridors lit by over-bright lights, crossed a high catwalk, and rode in the most silent turbolift ever manufactured. Finally, they came to a door which the woman accessed with a wave of a keycard.

A line of 'freshers stood against the far wall. A privacy screen was set up to preserve the modesty of the crew and was being used by a handful of women who were pulling on black uniforms. On the other side of the room, swivel chairs were occupied by crew who sat staring into mirrors as hygiene droids worked to bring their hair into standard issue cuts.

"Shall I start with the 'fresher?" Rey asked. It felt like ages since she'd last had the luxury of anything more than the briefest of visits to the Falcon's tiny on-board 'fresher. And a full-sized version with soap and working temperature modulators sounded better than suffering more scrutiny from the crew.

The freckled woman gave her a scandalized look as if Rey had just called her the worst Huttese Curse she knew. "Galaxies no, Mistress Palpatine!" The woman ensured that the last name was drawn out to make her point. "I am here to collect the hygiene coordinator to attend to you in your _private_ chambers."

Through the thick fog of pain and emptiness, all Rey managed was, "Of course," as she followed the spindly hygiene coordinator toward her private chambers aboard the Derriphan.

* * *

Rey had bathed, flinching every time the temperature and pressure changes exacerbated the fire in her thigh and shoulder, and begun the painful process of dressing.

Now, she was in her private chambers, attempting to slide a foot into the leggings she was to wear under the sleeveless, black tunic hanging over Calsyn's arm.

Calsyn, the hygiene coordinator was a prim, slender woman with a tight bun at the nape of her neck. She had been mostly silent, professionally attending to her needs as she was cleaned up.

But when Rey winced again while pulling on her leggings, Calsyn could remain silent no longer. "My apologies Mistress Palpatine, but Lord Malak gave express orders not to send you to the Medical Wing." The woman kept her pale face free of expression with some notable difficulty, judging by the strain in her jaw.

Rey had spent considerable time in the 'fresher wishing she could just heal her thigh wound herself, but it would require a transfer of her own life Force. And of course, Malak wouldn't do it for her, he _wanted_ her to be in pain. Pain was power, so she tried to resign herself to it, to let it strengthen her.

Calsyn offered the tunic with a weak smile as soon as Rey had the leggings up.

Rey didn't respond, hardly seeing the woman through the red haze of fury rising inside of her.

She slid the long tunic over her head. The hem hung mid-thigh, and the draping fabric plaits of the bodice cinched at the waist with a belt. She fastened the clasps and sat to pull on a pair of tall, knee-high leather boots.

"A good fit," Calsyn said. "We hoped you'd be coming. These have been waiting for you for days."

Calsyn proffered a pair of thin, leather gloves that reached her forearms. Rey had worn gloves for scavenging on Jakku, but preferred arm wraps that left her fingers exposed. She always felt it gave her a slight edge to her dexterity. Rey slid the cool, black gloves over her hands. The satisfying stretch and crack of the leather when she curled and uncurled her fingers wasn't altogether unpleasant. Even the gloves were a reminder that the Dark Side was not careful or dexterous. This was all about power.

Finally, Calsyn came behind her, fastening the clasps of a floor-skimming cape around her shoulders before stepping back and looking her up and down.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/uFGPHE8.jpg)

"A fitting uniform for someone of your importance," she noted.

Rey offered the woman a hollow stare before clipping her sabers to her belt. Rey looked down at Ben's shirt, the filthy, wadded up fabric sitting next to her dingy white clothes and Leia's gray cloak. Calsyn didn't ask questions when Rey reached for the shirt and wrapped it around her belt at her back, hidden under the cape.

"Now, for that hair," Calysn said, with a small smile curling a lip.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Calsyn stood behind her to admire her handiwork. Rey had to admit, as she looked in the mirror at her own reflection, that the effect was striking.

If power was what she'd wanted, then at least she looked the part.

Tight side braids cut wicked lines down the sides of her head, while a single, looser braid at the crown gave height and depth to the style. As the hair cascaded down the back of her head, it was left loose from the braids, giving an elegance to the look.

Viscous power and elegant lines befitting the heir of Palpatine. Seeing her reflection, she understood why Malak had sent her with Calysn before anything else.

Rey willed her reflection to stamp down the trepidation, to swallow down the guilt, and to allow herself to revel in this powerful persona. It was the only way to save Ben and fill the void inside of herself. That was why she'd agreed to this.

"I believe you are ready to meet with Lord Malak," Calsyn said, a touch of smugness to her voice. This was her work, and there was nothing wrong with being proud of it.

"You've done well, Calsyn," Rey said, not missing the way her words seemed to add an inch or two to the woman's height.

"Thank you, Mistress."

She followed Calsyn down more stark hallways and lifts into a chamber notably empty of electronics. No screens, no comms, and hardly any light when compared with the rest of the ship. The walls were black and soundless, as though they consumed the ring of her footsteps against the durasteel floors. Calsyn turned away and Rey was left to approach Malak's imposing figure against the far wall.

He turned to regard her, and she recognized a new gleam in his prosthetic jaw, a crispness to his cape and red-tinted suit, which hugged the muscular lines of his upper body, cascading into a flowing tunic over his legs.

His eyes narrowed in scrutiny as his gaze traveled slowly across her body. "Much better. Now, at least you look the part," he said. "Sit."

He gestured to a smooth, cast-plast seat across from an identical one which he took.

"The Acolytes have found another vergence outside of Lothal that seems promising," Malak said.

"Exegol?" Rey asked.

"Exegol's vergence is so far beneath the planet's core, it has proven much too difficult to access as of now. No, there is another."

Rey knew instantly of which he spoke. "Ahch-To."

"You've educated yourself well," he said. "The problem is breaking through the vergence and finding the gateway," Malak said.

"The Mirror Cave," she said. "Below the island."

He raised an eyebrow. Then this was new information. "I've suspected the gateway is near the temple, and with your Dyad, the Acolytes seem certain you should be able to unlock it."

"How?"

"Your Dyad spans across space and time. That is _your_ path to follow and you will bend the Force to your will in order to tap into the secret."

"I've tried… I-"

"Surrender yourself fully, Rey."

"I have! I've joined you, what more –"

But he cut her off again. "Have you?"

He watched her in silence, and she shifted uncomfortably, feeling the fury rise again. She stood defiantly her voice a low, angry growl. "You have no idea what I've sacrificed."

He nodded, rising to tower over her. Reminding her of why she was here, her defeat at his hand, her quest for the power to have her revenge and set Ben free. To fill the void caused by his absence. "Yes, you have the passion," he said. "But you still cling to the Light. It weakens you, opens yourself to the pain."

She clenched her jaw to keep from screaming. "I don't know what you're talking about," she hissed.

He took a step forward, close enough for her to feel the heat of his body before he snatched something from her belt.

Ben's shirt.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/T0IojXl.jpg)

A pang of tenderness surged unbidden in the Force around her, like a spotlight in the Dark, and Malak cocked his head.

"Yes." He droned the word in a soft acknowledgement of her traitorous feelings. "You _love_ him do you?"

She pressed her lips together to keep from speaking, feeling her fingernails cutting into her palms as they hung in fists at her sides.

"It weakens you. Passion, desire, there is a place in the Dark Side for these feelings, Rey. But love is what ties you to your pain, widens the empty hole you feel in your soul."

He looked down at the scrap of fabric in his hand as though it were a dead rodent he'd been forced to exterminate. He let it slip between his fingers and it crumpled at his feet.

"Bastila, too, held such an attachment to Revan. It was only when she extinguished it, that she was able to realize her true power."

Anger churned in a violent storm inside of her. She could _not_ cut herself off from Ben.

"You still want to kill me," he said. "Let me show you, then."

He was in her mind with no further warning. His shadowy fingers far too strong to resist and they razed every inch of her mind, pulling through memories violently. The pleasure he derived from this touch into her most private thoughts was more than evident, as he took his time, seeming to enjoy this violation.

His voice echoed forcefully in her mind.

_Don't fight it, Rey. You must submit to me. You wanted a teacher? Well, this is your first lesson._

Was this really what she wanted? But his words soothed the natural fight that was always her first reaction and she let her walls crumble under his touch.

With free reign over her thoughts, the touch of his Force settled quickly on a feeling and Rey felt her consciousness shift as it was stripped of the offending emotion. It was as though the only light in a dark room was pinched off by the touch of his fingers. With that wrenching purge of his Force, fury began to seep slowly into every last part of her body.

The pain in her leg, which had raged so intensely over every other thought or feeling, became a source of icy darkness in her core. That empty void, the torturous nothingness that left her bereft of feeling began to fill with the balm of rage and passion.

She cried out, as the pain of her abandonment was suddenly erased and power flowed in her veins.

Now, the swell of the Dark Side rose in her and instead of drowning, _she_ was its Master. She commanded the sea of darkness like a God, closing her eyes and feeling the surge of its energy in every corner of her being.

And with the pain in her leg now siphoned into pure power and the emptiness and abandonment fueling her fury, she commanded the Force to push Malak from her mind.

He stumbled back, and with it, his grasp from her mind was released and Rey could feel that tiny trickle of Light, those feelings for Ben, and all of the emotions tied to it return, causing the pain to flare in her leg. The power she'd felt a moment ago trickled from her like a slow leak in a dam.

She forced herself to look up at Malak, knowing what she would see.

As smug an expression as one could wear with half a face.

"Now you understand what you must do," Malak said. "You cannot allow that sliver of light to weaken you."

A deep yearning had begun to ache at the core of herself now, a longing to be filled. Passion. Power. She'd felt it so intensely in that moment that she was sure, if she could just taste it again, she would be unstoppable. She could fill that void inside of herself, finally. She could be _whole._

"Let every last spark of light bleed from you and turn your pain into power."

"How?"

He motioned to a small stand between the cast-plast seats. An open case containing an array of small tools gleamed in the low light. "You will dissemble your saber and meditate in darkness. Bleed your saber crystal. Force your hatred into the crystal and bend it to your will."

Rey placed a hand on her own saber at her right side. She'd meditated on kyber crystals before, but nothing like Malak was suggesting. First, she'd healed Luke's fractured crystal that had been damaged during her struggle with Kylo Ren on the Supremacy. Not long ago, she'd removed the crystal from Leia's saber and meditated on it. During that process it had shifted color from blue to bright yellow. Could she really bleed all the light from Leia's crystal?

But the anger was so close to the surface and thoughts of guilt were washed away in its tide. Leia was gone. Her parents were gone. Ben was gone. They'd abandoned her to this path.

It was just Rey now. And she needed the power to reach the World Between Worlds. Without it, she would always feel like half a person, a _shell._ Even now, she felt the chasm in her soul widening.

"But you must be sure you are ready," he warned, shifting his attention to the pile of tattered black fabric at his feet.

As she stared at the cloth, she could imagine herself crying into it, drunk and hopeless on Tatooine. The void had only just begun to form, then. Now, Maker… now it was so much deeper.

As if in answer to her agony, she felt the Bond tug at her core.

Ben's voice was loud, insistent in her mind as he broke through to her. _Rey, I'm so sorry. Are you alright?_

The sound of his voice had tears filling her eyes almost instantly. They burned hot and she clenched her jaw tight as she made her response. "No. I am _not_ alright. How could you do it?"

_I had no choice, it –_

"You had a choice!" Rey was yelling now, muscles tight, poised for a fight, though she still couldn't see him. "You had a choice, but you didn't give me one!"

Malak's eyes darted warily around the room, searching for the source of her sudden outburst.

"He's here," Malak said, mostly to himself before realizing he should say something. "He did have a choice, didn't he Rey? And he chose to leave you."

Ben's voice went quiet, eerily quiet when he spoke next. _Who was that? Who was that Rey?_

Rey didn't answer, but felt the touch of Ben's Force from the In-Between as he grasped for her, intending to make himself solid in the Force.

"You weren't so worried about who'd be with me when you shoved me through that gateway, were you?"

She felt his response as a rush of fear down the Bond.

"You left me!" She was screaming now, unable to hold back the avalanche of feelings that were tied to those words.

_Rey, please! Just listen to me!_

The mere sound of his voice was ripping through her resolve, weakening her, just as Malak had said. She felt her hard edges softening as she yearned to see his face, longed for him to hold her.

But now she recognized those feelings for what they were…

Weakness.

"No!" Her voice was raw with the emotion as it tore from her throat. "I'm through listening!"

And she bore down on the remaining threads of their bond, clamping them off and erecting a new wall in her mind. Pain, anger, loss, fear – she used them to construct that shield and felt Ben's Force slip back to the World Between Worlds.

Malak nodded once before turning from the room. The door whisked closed behind him and she was alone.

Rey screamed. A loud, long desperate cry of pure anguish.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/UwjMLBm.jpg)

The sound resonated shrilly off the bare, black walls all around. As she listened to the echo of the cry in her mind, the pitch and ferocity of that scream brought her back to another time. A memory. She'd been twelve years old at Niima Outpost the last time she heard a scream like that.

A scream that seemed to last forever, that made you plug your ears, not because of how loud it was, but how it pulled at the very marrow in your bones and made you ache everywhere.

A Togruta slave had cut herself on some rusted scrap during a scavenging run. The poor girl was only ten. The wound had become infected and with no money for bacta or other costly treatments, the only choice had been amputation. A crude one at that, as there were no med-droids at the outpost.

The scream that had rung through the Jakku night would never leave her. And now, Rey's scream mirrored the girl's in the scope of its agony.

The girl had died a little over a week later.

Jakku was no place for an amputee.

Rey looked down at the tattered fabric that Malak had discarded on the floor as the memory of that scream mixed with hers and every ounce of bottled up rage remaining inside of her erupted all at once. Rey's scream morphed into a roar as she scooped up the shirt and ripped it in half from collar to hem in one lethal motion. Again and again she screamed as she tore at the fabric over and over. At some point, she stretched the shirt over a chairback for leverage, scraping her nails into the fabric to find new places to shred it. She fingered the hole through the chest, pulling it apart as threads wrapped themselves around her fingers and wrists, cutting into her flesh as the fabric itself seemed to fight back.

Finally, panting, her hands stilled and she was left with that Force-damned _void_ aching and throbbing at her very core. She dropped what was left of the shirt, her focus turning inward as she clawed at something less tangible. She scraped and scratched at the Force, gathering the pain and hate to fill the piece of her soul that was missing.

Then, cloaked in darkness, Rey fell to her knees to finish her meditation, surrounded by frayed ribbons of soft, black fabric.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/4f8GfJ3.jpg)


	23. Bled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you all for your continued support of this story! It means so much to hear from you all! 
> 
> I want to thank JenniferLadyBug again, not only for her art, but her contributions in reading early drafts of chapters and giving great advice to help the story flow (though I claim full responsibility for any typos and wording errors). Thank you to my partner in this project - Go Team Haunted!
> 
> I know these last few chapters have been painful, so all I'm going to say is trust in the journey... it will be so worth it!

Her knees stung with pins and needles, pressed against the unforgiving durasteel floors of the Derriphan for so long. Her shoulder ached and the jagged wound across her thigh throbbed with her pulse like a second, painful heartbeat.

Rey Palpatine welcomed the pain.

She began to draw it into herself, to meditate and let the Dark Side guide her, to attempt to bleed her crystal as Malak had instructed…

But a tugging pressure at her core interrupted, announcing that the Bond had other ideas. The Force was not going to let her have this without a fight, and it pulled her, ears drumming and head spinning, into another place.

Even before she opened her eyes, the whine of a familiar hyperdrive revealed that Rey was on the Millennium Falcon. She lifted her gaze to see Rose's face buried in her hands as she hunched over the Dejarik table. Finn sat beside her, leaning back heavily against the lounge with a frustrated groan, staring at the ceiling as he took in a calming breath. Nearby, Chewie leaned silently against the wall, arms folded over his chest.

On the other side of the common room, the ghostly blue outline of Ben stood rigid, fists clenched at his sides, yelling at Poe. Even from where Rey knelt she could see the tendons protruding from Ben's neck, the blood pounding in his temples.

Strange that he hadn't yet noticed she was here. Was it a dream then? Or was he simply so distracted, he hadn't felt the pull of the Bond?

 _Then you will tell Lando and Maz to take the fleet and go after her!_ he screamed. _I don't care what it takes, she cannot be left alone with Darth Malak any longer!_

Finn was providing the translation to the others who couldn't hear him through the Force, though it seemed mostly directed at Poe, who was receiving the brunt of Ben's wrath at the moment.

After hearing Ben's response, Poe stood his ground, crossing his arms and shaking his head. "You didn't see her, Solo. She's gone. She doesn't want rescuing. She walked away from _us."_

 _No,_ Ben shook his head vehemently. _No, that's not her!_

Again, Finn translated Ben's words.

"The way she looked at us, like we were nothing to her," Poe said, gesturing to the others. "She's fallen and you would do best to accept that and focus on saving everyone else from the return of those Sith!"

Finn lifted his head and Rey didn't miss the way he winced and clutched his side, repositioning his arm before he spoke. "I hate to agree with Poe, but she _threw_ me against the wall, Ben."

"She's not herself," Rose said, her voice wrought with emotion.

Chewie growled his agreement.

 _Don't you think I know that?_ Ben yelled. _She feels alone and Malak is preying on those feelings!_

Finn relayed the message to his friends word for word.

"And why do you think she feels alone, huh?" Poe asked, taking several steps forward, pointing an accusing finger in Ben's general direction. "If you hadn't forced her through that gateway, we wouldn't be having this discussion!"

Ben roared, a guttural sound mixed with an explosion of his Force and the ship seemed to tremble with his emotion. Poe paled and took a step back, he may not be able to see Ben, but he had surely felt the quake of the Falcon and Rey could practically see the memories of Kylo Ren flashing through Poe's mind.

Ben glared hard at Poe, and with a shuddering breath, sank to his knees. He stared at the floor, opening and closing his fists, scratching at his pants, as if he desperately needed something to do with his hands that didn't involve strangling Poe Dameron.

Finn rose from the lounge, clutching his side and limped over to where Ben knelt. He placed a steadying hand on his shoulder and spoke softly, sending Poe a pointed glare as he spoke. "This isn't your fault, Ben. You were just trying to do the best you could to keep her safe. I get that. But sending the entire fleet after her, when we have no idea what we're up against, is probably not the best way to go about this."

No one dared to speak as they waited for Ben's response, the only sound was the continuous hum of the engines and Ben's breathing as it slowly evened out. The silence went on so long, Rey had come to the conclusion that this was indeed a strange Force-fueled dream. This could not be the Bond if Ben still hadn't noticed she was here.

But Rey attempted to pull on their connection anyway, in an attempt to make it release her. Dream or reality, she didn't need to see any more of this. It was only driving the knife further into her heart, wrenching and twisting until the pain was a fresh wound again.

The moment Rey focused on their connection, Ben stiffened, looking over his shoulder to where Rey still knelt on the floor. He froze, as though she were a wild animal, and if he made any sudden movements, she would bolt.

Finn's head whipped around, staring in her direction, though he obviously couldn't see her. "Is she here?"

A barely perceptible dip of Ben's chin. _Yes_.

Then, his gaze softened, moving from stunned shock to longing in the short time she'd taken to blink. And Rey had to force herself to look away or become drawn in by the soul-wrenching sorrow in his dark eyes. Gods. Why did he still have such power over her?

_Rey. Please. We'll find another way. I didn't want to leave you, but –_

"But you did," she said simply.

He looked as if she'd struck him, staring back at her as his mouth opened, then closed again, trying and failing to find a response.

And a familiar, harsh whisper wormed its way into her mind. _They_ all _left you. And they will do it again if you let them._

Pain, pain, pain, she reminded herself.

Anger.

Rey grasped for it and tried to use the power it brought to wrench the Bond closed, but Ben wasn't letting go. She could feel him straining against the Force and she lifted her eyes to him. He'd risen and was slowly crossing the space to her, his eyes shut tight in focus, jaw trembling with the effort. His hair had fallen to hide his face and he swiped at it with the back of his hand, clearing his view to meet her gaze again.

The air was sucked from the room as he approached, as though someone had left the Millennium Falcon's top hatch wide open to the vacuum of space. Rey couldn't focus on anything else but Ben's pleading eyes as he looked down at her, now only inches away.

 _This isn't you, Rey,_ he said, voice harsh with emotion. _Please. I know you._

Then he reached down to her, his shaking fingers grazing her cheek and she flinched, drawing back as if his touch was a hot brand against her skin.

"No. You don't," she snarled. "Or you wouldn't have left me alone!"

In that moment, she watched Ben's strong features slowly crumble into an expression of inconsolable grief. His dark eyes welled with tears and his lips worried together as he grasped desperately for something to say.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/SnmqYWV.jpg)

But Rey could not stand to see him any longer. She used her fury, her pain – and gathered that rage into something tangible until she felt it close tight around her. Like a blast door to shield her emotions, it shut out his voice, his pained expression, and his eyes - those Force-damned expressive eyes that begged her to stay.

It was too late to go back to them. Poe was right, she had walked away. She had made her choice.

And so had Ben.

Rey's world spun again and the Bond slipped away, leaving her alone in that dark room on the Derriphan.

Not alone. No.

She had the pain. She would always have that pain.

And now, she knew what to do with it.

Rey settled into a cross-legged meditation position in the middle of that empty room and let the hurt wash over her. She drew it into herself as she collected a lifetime of anguish, using the Force to hone it into a weapon. She felt the power cascading around her and she reached out for the chest of tools Malak had set out for her. With a tug of the Force, it flew to the open space at her side and she got to work.

Rey unclipped her saber from her belt and began to dissemble it. She peeled away the casing, twisted at the wiring harness, and swiveled the mount to reveal the heart of her weapon.

The yellow kyber crystal.

Rey thought back to when she'd first attuned that yellow crystal. Had it known then that it would be put through this? Did it have some understanding of its fate? Had it known deep down that it was destined to fall? From the noble blue of Leia's original crystal to the blazing yellow of Jakku's sun. And now it would be forced to bleed as Rey had. All the days she had scratched away on the walls of that fallen AT-AT. The lonely nights dreaming of an island where she could finally find belonging. Like a hemorrhaging wound, the emotion of her past life would be drained, the abandonment of all the desolate nights would be bled out.

That pain, that anger and hate had simmered for more than a decade in that desert wasteland and would now be turned into something more.

Power. Raw Power.

And she placed the little crystal into her palm and forced all of those feelings into it.

Unkar Plutt's hideous sneer as he pushed another quarter ration at her for a day's work. Jagged scratches counting the days. Growls of a stomach never filled. The rotten, festering piece of her, poisoning her from the inside as she waited so naively for her parents to return. Ben's guilty face as he made the choice to push her away. All of it, those memories which fed her pain, she let them surface, let them consume her and Rey didn't shy away from the icy cold rush of Force that swelled all around her. It soaked through to that empty core of herself, and that Void that had ached to be filled now began to expand with power.

She called to the memory of that scream, that bone-jarring scream of the little girl that was now the call of her own rage and she drove it violently into the shard of kyber.

Rey was so focused on the fury cascading all around her in the Force, she didn't notice the beads of sweat collecting on her forehead, dripping into her eyes. She hardly noticed her body protesting the lack of food with increasingly insistent rumbles. She didn't sense anything aside from the Darkness within her, for what could have been hours. Until suddenly, something shifted.

She wasn't sure if it was her imagination, but a shrill sound echoed in her mind as she felt the pain finally break through into the crystal.

And with that otherworldly, resonating shriek, Rey was thrown into another place completely.

Night is a blanket of stars overhead on an unfamiliar forest planet. Three moons hang in the sky above a young Leia as she thrusts her saber into Luke's hands. The moons reflect the single tear streaking down Leia's cheek as she holds her brother's gaze. "I cannot follow this path," Leia says in a half-choked voice.

The wind howls a note of mourning as it blows through the giant trees encircling the clearing.

"You must do what you feel is right," Luke answers, jaw clenched tight with emotion.

His clean-shaven face and the absence of frown lines on his forehead hint at his youth, but the way he holds himself, so self-assured. Luke Skywalker seems more confident in this time and place than Rey had ever seen him as an older man.

"At the end of this path, I see…" Leia pauses, looking up into the sky as though haunted by the image. "I see his death." She places a protective hand over her swelling belly.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/7rhSU3D.jpg)

Rey's vision tunnels again and she is standing inside Luke's hut on Ahch-To, with his Force ghost looking on from behind her. This is her own memory.

She handles the bundle before her like a newborn infant, unwrapping the cloth and placing Leia's saber in her hands, running reverent fingers over the hilt. Luke has guided her here, to Leia's lightsaber. To send Rey down the path Leia had walked, to finish what Leia had started.

A shock of fresh anger coursed through her. To finish what Leia had started? Despite what both Luke and Leia knew to be waiting at the end of that path, they had both willingly sent her there. To follow the will of the Force and help realize the death of Ben Solo.

Leia had given up this path to save her son. And yet, both Leia and Luke had encouraged her to take up that old path now.

Ben Solo was just another casualty in the long line of deaths caused by following the 'will of the Force.'

Well, no more.

The only deaths Rey would suffer now, were those that _she_ willed.

Rey felt the crystal shudder defiantly in her hand as she turned the visions around, letting ice fill her fingertips as she pounded her anger into the crystal. Like a hammer against an anvil, she closed her eyes and beat the feelings into it. Pain. Anger.

Hate.

Yes, she hated how the Force wanted to use her. Hated being another tool for its will.

Something gave as a sliver of that anger reached the core of the crystal. Rey pushed harder, gathering the darkness and took herself deeper.

The room twisted.

A cavernous abyss stretches around her and the withered face of her grandfather materializes before her.

Exegol.

He is waiting for Rey to strike him down. To become all of the Sith.

And Rey knows exactly which moment is coming, having played it countless times in her own memory before this.

Rey's lips part in surprise the moment she feels the connection she shares with Ben open up. It is different in that moment. The connection is… right. It's _good_.

It feels like coming home.

She and Ben stare at each other for a precious moment, reveling in the feelings they share. Realizing this is how it should have been all along.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/1wHZ904.jpg)

The vision fades and Rey's heart is twisted painfully.

That moment. The first moment she'd ever shared with Ben Solo.

Rey choked back a sob, staring down at the crystal in her now trembling hand.

"Ben!" she screamed at the traitorous fragment of kyber. "Why?!"

He'd left her. And now the Force was trying to trick her back into being its tool. Just an instrument at its bidding. She felt the crystal fight back, coiling around her emotions, pulling at her until she moved the way it willed her to. And she'd followed blindly before, eventually causing Ben's death by following Leia's path. And her mentors had sat by and let it happen, knowing what would come of it.

Death.

"No!"

As the single word reverberated powerfully off the walls all around, so did the avalanche of Rey's Force. She fought against the flicker of Light caused by those visions, stamping it down with her rage until all she could feel inside of her was Power.

It surged into the crystal then, pouring through it and filling it so completely that it was finally made to bleed out its Light to make room for the pain. The only thing that existed was the rise and fall of her chest, the crash of her own pulse in her ears, and the burning in her throat, made raw from screaming as she willed the fury to continue pouring through her into the tiny shard of kyber.

She was a glacial torrent of Dark Force and the crystal was the unwilling vessel.

A bone-jarring crack issued through the Force, and the ripple of that shockwave pounded against her ears and her energy all at once. Still, she didn't relent. And by the time she had poured out all of her anguish into that crystal, Rey was utterly exhausted. She reached out through the Force, a last feeble touch to feel the signature of the Kyber. It responded immediately, beating in time to the chaos of her emotions.

It spoke to her pain. It mirrored her agony. The crystal was a perfect vessel for her rage and she knew with it, she would achieve a Power she'd never been able to attain before. Because now, there was no conflict. Only Power. And with it, Rey would show the Force that she was no longer its tool.

Exhausted, she lay back on the steely floors, tucking an arm under her head. The Force didn't dare speak to her in that moment. Finally, it had submitted to her and blessed her with a few precious moments of sweet silence.

And with the void in her soul finally filled with fury, Rey Palpatine clutched the blood red kyber to her chest and listened to the wrathful heartbeat of her crystal as she drifted into unconsciousness.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/oLTzuaZ.jpg)


	24. Master

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Weekend! I hope everyone is doing well and staying healthy. My kids are off school for 4 weeks, but working in healthcare things are just as busy as usual for me. So next update will be next weekend.
> 
> We do have a special treat for you though - two chapters today! Chapter 25 is short, but I didn't want to leave everyone in agony, hoping instead to leave things with a hint of hope until the next update. Thank you to JenniferLadyBug for being consistently awesome with her illustrations. As always leave a comment on these chapters, let us know what you think!

Calsyn swept into the room a short time later to help Rey back to her quarters. The woman fretted over her until she'd had a good meal and had settled in for a fitful sleep between the most sterile set of sheets she'd ever touched.

The next day Rey holed herself up in her quarters to complete the build of her saber. It hadn't taken long, and only minutes after she'd sealed up the last piece of casing, Darth Malak had arrived to inspect her progress.

Now, the Sith Lord stood before her, holding the finished weapon in front of him, scrutinizing the unstable hiss and spit of the crimson plasma blade.

His brows drew together, cutting deep lines in his forehead between them. "It's cracked."

Despite the robotic monotone, his modulator still managed to convey a touch of displeasure as he gave the blade another sweep in the air before bringing it close to examine it. "Your crystal is cracked. I thought you said the bleed was successful? This weapon is not stable."

"It _was_ successful." Rey said, unable to hide the venom lacing her tone. It would be so easy to thrust her saber straight through his chest and be done with all of this. "It bled didn't it?"

His icy grey eyes locked onto hers and didn't release her for a long moment.

"Come," he finally said, "bring both sabers. We will begin your combat training."

He straightened again to his full, looming height and strode quickly through the door, cape flowing over his broad shoulders and Rey had no choice but to fall into step behind him. She was reminded of the power he commanded, as crew tripped over their own feet to leave him ample space as he passed through the narrow corridors, each turning to salute him respectfully until he was out of view.

Rey did, indeed, have much to learn.

It wasn't long before he turned into a doorway. Rey followed into what was less a room, and more a hangar of sorts. Except there were no ships or vessels of any kind to be found here. Rey labeled the space a hangar based on its sheer size alone. High ceilings stretching at least four levels up and a huge expanse of gleaming durasteel floors spread out before them. The sharp chemical tang of disinfectant filled her nose, or maybe it was floor wax. Rey based this guess on the thickly glazed sheen on the paneling beneath her feet, so shiny it reflected the bright lights above as though she were standing on the surface of a black lagoon.

He led her to the center of the space. "I have set my lightsaber to low power." He drew his weapon and gripped it tight in his palm, igniting it with a flick of his thumb. "I have no desire to slice into you again. But you will learn, my apprentice, to respect me. Do not think I haven't sensed your traitorous thoughts." He cocked his head, daring her to deny the accusation.

Rey's body tightened, a painful wrenching of every muscle all at once, as she fumbled for something to say, some excuse.

"Bastila once thought as you did. And before she could realize her full power, she fell back under Revan's spell," he said. "I will not allow you to make the same mistake. If you want to achieve your full potential, you must submit to my teachings."

Rey looked up to meet his stare again. "What must I do?"

"Give him up, Rey. He and your friends still hold onto your strings, and if you don't cut them, you will always be their puppet," he said. "You must stop thinking of them. You must call me, Master."

Something twisted inside of her and Rey realized, he was right. Though she had bled her saber, though she accepted Malak's training to some degree, a tiny thread of herself still belonged to _him._

Malak's saber was against her neck before she realized he'd moved.

He laughed, an unnatural wheezing clank through his modulator. "You are distracted by him even now. You are dead, apprentice."

Malak reset his stance and Rey pulled both sabers from her belt and stood at the ready, realizing that she had not set her weapons to low power as he had done. "Aren't you afraid I'll take off your head?"

"If you get anywhere close, I do not deserve the title of Master." He held his own blade vertically, indicating his readiness for a duel with a nod.

She gripped both lightsabers tighter, the hilt of her unstable weapon warming in her palm. It was glowing, flaring with heat around the unstable plasma blade. She ignored her burning skin, focusing instead on the darkness churning around her. Rey harnessed that power, letting it fuel her first attack as she lunged with everything she had, bringing both sabers down hard in a sweeping strike across Malak's left flank.

He sidestepped easily, raising his weapon to parry. Plasma sizzled between them and Rey attempted to pull from the pain, still so close to the surface, to add strength to her arms as she pushed hard to thrust him away.

But Darth Malak was an immovable obstacle in the Force, cold and unyielding. And when she felt the way he wrenched the Darkness into his grasp, drawing it from her, sucking it from the very air around them to fuel his power, she knew whatever was coming was going to hurt.

He unleashed it all at once, sending her soaring across the room. Then just as easily as he'd thrown her, like a force of nature unleashed, he caught her in his frozen grasp, lowering her gently to the floor just before her bones were shattered against the wall.

"You are an unbalanced child," he drawled, boots pounding the floors as he approached. "Unstable, just like that weapon. Let go of them, Rey."

But Rey was not finished. His mercy had only angered her and she could feel the scream of darkness, now boiling up in her chest and there was no stopping it. A warning cry tore from her throat and she came at him again, crimson sabers ablaze.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/x3wbWUk.jpg)

This time, she was closer, with one saber she forced him to parry, while she brought the other down in a low arc to take his feet out from under him. The hilt of the unstable weapon was now blazing so hot in her palm, it took everything Rey had to focus on turning the pain into power.

Malak raised his off hand, stopping the blade's momentum. And then, it was only their Force. She pressed against him with all of the strength she had and still he held fast. A wash of dread preceded Malak's next move as Rey realized he'd been holding back. He opened the floodgates and Rey was again thrown back with the icy current of his Dark Force, and taking no pity this time, she was tossed with a gut-wrenching thud to the floor.

"Wielding two sabers is splitting your attention. Especially when one of them is so unstable. I can see your every move before you make it. I do not believe you are practiced with this style," he said matter-of-factly.

Rey tasted acid as she was forced to consider that he was right.

"I used a staff," she muttered, pushing herself to stand again, rubbing at a sore spot on her back, imagining the purple bruise that was probably blooming there already. Just when the wound in her thigh had stopped throbbing so incessantly, Malak was going to punish her failures by bringing on new injuries.

"Put that one away," he commanded, jabbing a gloved finger at her unstable weapon. "And turn those last threads of Light into Power."

She obeyed, stowing her unstable saber at her waist, and stepped into ready position again. This time, she focused on stripping all of the light from her heart, using the pain to tear away anything that wasn't darkness. She lowered her head, baring teeth, and charged across the room.

"If anything, you are persistent," he said with an amused incline of his head before stepping easily into her attack and blocking her.

But he hadn't anticipated the Force of her attack and stepped back to maintain his balance. With a single saber, her strength was more concentrated, fixed on the point where their blades met and she was able to get some leverage against his much larger, more muscular form.

She snarled, pushing him back again as she crashed her saber into his training blade over and over, forcing him back with each blow. She wrapped her darkness around his Force, keeping it contained, remembering the pain of the durasteel floor and not allowing him to push his Dark energy against her again.

But she'd forgotten to consider one thing.

His physical power.

Because as she was focused on his Force and his blade, he crouched slightly and kicked a sturdy leg out, sweeping her feet out from under her and sending her crashing onto her rear end with an embarrassing squawk of disbelief.

He looked down at her, a self-satisfied gleam in his eyes as he held his saber to her throat. "That was better, apprentice. You have recognized your weakness. But you are still dead."

And for the first time, Rey felt a strange sensation as she looked up at Darth Malak. It was not one of pure disgust, but grudging recognition of… something. His power? An appreciation of his ancient understanding of the Dark Side? Whatever it was, Rey was made to face the fact that he knew things that she needed. She swallowed hard.

"Still, apprentice, you underestimate your opponent," he said. And Malak flicked off his blade, reaching out a gloved hand to her.

It hung there between them, gleaming black leather under the too-bright lights of the hangar, like an anchor promising to tow her deeper into the powerful depths of the Dark Side.

And this time, Rey took his hand, not for lack of a better choice, but because she _wanted_ to. He was a powerful duelist, with a steady grasp and an ancient appreciation of the Dark Side, and if Rey wanted power, he would teach her how to find it.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/2MvjnoN.jpg)

"Yes, my Master." Her voice was an icy drone as if she too, wore a voice modulator. She straightened, shaking off her embarrassment and met his expectant gaze. "Show me again."

And she knew Darth Malak would have smiled in that moment, if he could.

* * *

Over the next few days, Rey requested parts to fashion her two sabers into a double-bladed staff. What parts she couldn't find, she rigged from odds and ends. She'd needed a way to vent the unstable plasma away from her hilt, to keep from blistering her palm, as she'd done on that first training day. Not only that, but Malak had been correct when he'd observed that duel wielding did not come naturally to her. So, Rey returned to what she was good at. With a staff she could unleash the ferocity of the Dark Side without losing focus.

She knew she needed to vent the extra energy through the rear, like an over-heating speeder's exhaust. So, she'd added vents to the crystal chamber, funneling that exergy into a secondary chamber at the other side of the battery. As plasma flowed through the secondary channels, the pressure would be equalized.

Between builds of her staff came meetings, briefings, and more training with Malak.

Ben tried to appear to her several more times over those few days, and each time she thrust him away. Clinging to him was only weakening her, as Malak had demonstrated.

Power. That was all that mattered.

Power to open the World Between Worlds. For what? To free him? That was why she was doing this, wasn't it? Even that objective became a bit muddled as time passed, as power became her single-minded pursuit. It seemed to swell in her consciousness until every other feeling, every other desire fell away.

The days wore on and when Ben continued to call upon the Bond, it ripped less at her heart to push him away. Finally, when he'd come to her this morning, she'd pushed a wall up so solid, he didn't even have a chance to speak before she'd blocked the Bond completely. It was so much easier if she didn't have to hear his voice.

* * *

Now, Darth Malak stood at the door to her chambers, having arrived for another lesson. He glanced to her worktable, and finding it empty, he spoke. "You've finished your saber staff?"

Rey nodded and the icy touch of his Force brushed against her mind, sensing and searching her emotions.

"You've done well, my apprentice," he said. "I sense nothing but Power this morning."

She looked up at him, accepting the rare words of praise her Master offered. "I have done what you commanded."

Rey had finally submitted herself wholly to Malak's teachings after tasting the power they had bestowed, and she had reaped its rewards. Her control over the Dark Side had grown to the point she'd forced her Master to work up a sweat the last time they'd dueled.

"You have, and the Acolytes have some questions," he said simply. "Come."

He gestured for her to follow and she took her place at his side, walking with him toward the command floor of the Derriphan. Her leg and shoulder wounds had scabbed over well, the angry red ooze of her cut now calm and healing into shiny granulated tissue at the edges. She could even walk without a limp if she focused on it. And she did so now, as dozens of groveling eyes followed their strides as they made their way across the ship to meet with the Sith Acolytes.

The Acolytes had shared their secrets over the last few days, slowly, as her Master obviously didn't trust her completely yet. What she had managed to glean was that they had physically restored both Nihilus and Maul by channeling their life Force contained in artifacts of importance to them. Nihilus' mask for example and Maul's lightsaber. Maz had mentioned the Sith artifacts to her on Corellia, so it wasn't exactly new information. Still, they'd gone into great detail about the mechanics of it all, which Rey could not follow.

When her Master had mentioned the Acolytes were close to physically restoring several other Sith Lords, her interest was piqued again.

"What is the point of bringing them back, if they will only contest your power?" Rey asked, standing before the command array of the Derriphan, looking out at the field of stars before them.

"If we have Sith stationed across the span of time, there will be no room for the Light or the Jedi to surface. No dispute to our power."

Rey nodded, understanding his vision. "So, when we restore a path from the World Between Worlds, the Sith who have achieved their physical forms will be stationed in other eras."

"Yes. But should any choose to rebel against this plan, we will show them what happens to our enemies." He looked down at her, hard grey eyes holding knowledge that spanned centuries.

"Yes, my Master," Rey droned, her hollow voice carrying across the bridge.

A turbolift hissed open behind them, revealing three robed Acolytes, one female Nautolan and two human males. The expressions of the humans revealed a touch of shock upon seeing Darth Malak, as though even they could not believe he'd been restored, only understanding it now that they'd seen it with their own eyes. Rey had seen the same expressions countless times over the last few days.

The tentacled Nautolan, however, showed no reaction, obviously an Acolyte of much higher rank.

"My Lord," the Nautolan purred her greeting as she and the others got down to their knees. She nodded to Rey, yellow tentacles nearly skimming the floor as she bent her head. "Mistress."

"Rise," Malak said. "It is time to reveal what you know of the World Between Worlds for Mistress Palpatine. She is ready to channel the Dyad and break through."

This was new. In their other meetings there had been no talk of the World Between Worlds. So he felt it was time, then?

The Nautolan rose, eyes black and round as onyx gemstones. "We have investigated the cave under Ahch-To as you commanded my Lord," she said. "It appears that Mistress Palpatine is right. There is a point of vergence below the island."

Malak darted a glance to Rey. "Good, my apprentice will accompany me to this vergence tomorrow."

"There's more, My Lord," the Nautolan said. "There is a second vergence inside the Temple."

His eyes narrowed in thought. "It is no wonder the Jedi built their Temple at such a place. It appears Ahch-To's connection across time and space exceeds all others."

Rey's mind raced with the implications. Two vergence points. But that still didn't solve the problem of getting through.

"Yes, but without the key to the gateway," Rey said, "the vergence points are useless."

The Nautolan stepped forward, a smile curling her lip. "Oh no, Mistress Palpatine. With the power contained within you, as part of a Dyad, a power over space and time, nothing can keep you from your other half. You need but focus on it at the exact point of vergence to break through."

It could not be that easy. That struggle on Lothal at the gateway to communicate with the Daughter? The battle with Malak, Nihilus, and Maul? Ben's push to send her through the gateway? It had all been pointless? If she would only have focused on the Bond…

Rage pulsed its frozen power through her veins.

Malak cocked a questioning head in her direction as he pushed his voice into her mind. _What has you so unsettled?_

"I never thought the Bond would simply allow us to pass through," Rey whispered through clenched teeth.

"Oh yes, near a vergence with that kind of power, Mistress. The gateway should open if you only focus on the other end of the connection," the Acolyte said. "On the other half of your Dyad."

As the Acolytes began to discuss the power of the Dyad amongst themselves, Rey's thoughts wandered quickly to those lonely nights on Tatooine after Ben's death, on the desperate moments when Ben had been so close, but she'd been unable to reach him. She thought of the joy she'd felt as he'd broken through and she'd grasped frantically for him, held his hand…

"Mind your thoughts," Malak warned in a hiss, just loud enough for her to hear, "Purge your weakness and focus on the anger. There is no room for fondness or regret, only power."

And Rey steeled herself in that moment. Swallowing hard to keep her thoughts from wandering to how much she had missed him, and instead focusing on the way he'd feared her on Corellia, to the way he'd pushed her away, abandoned her. And instantly that ache was replaced with something else, something sharper and more protective. Pain and anger honed into a weapon.

Power.

"Better. The time to unleash your wrath will come," Malak said in a harsh whisper, before turning back to the Nautolan and interrupting their private conversations. "Please, continue for Mistress Palapatine."

"Of course, My Lord," he said, nodding politely, then turning his immense black eyes to her. "Once you have pulled Solo through to your side, you and Lord Malak will drain that power and channel it into the World Between Worlds. This should force each vergence open, giving the Sith access to every vergence across time."

"How do you know so much about the World Between Worlds?" Rey was suspicious, having read through ancient Jedi texts more than once, she still didn't have the same understanding of it that these Acolytes seemed to have.

The Nautolan's ridged brow raised with excitement. "Emperor Palpatine's advisor, Veris Hydan, studied the World Between World for years. We have all of his notes. Years' worth of data on the gateway at Lothal. Your grandfather's advisor had been seeking this power for some time. He was close, when the Jedi, Ezra Bridger got there first." She spat the name like a curse. "He locked the gateway underground."

This time, her Master spoke. "The power of a Dyad is something the galaxy hasn't seen in centuries. A power that transcends space and time. When channeled together, against the gateway, it will have no choice but to fall open to us."

The Nautolan paused, looking out over the endless expanse of the universe through the viewport. "Imagine it," she said, her tentacles quivering with her words, "power over time itself."

"He will never willingly give up the Bond," Rey said flatly.

"Then you must either find a way to convince him," Malak said, eyes glinting wickedly, "or take it from him."

"Suppose this does work. What will come of…" Rey paused, wanting to speak his name in that moment but finding herself physically unable to do so. She began again. "What will come of _him_ when he is restored to the physical world?"

She'd successfully filled that void in her soul with rage, and now Ben seemed so far away. Like a memory that had faded with the years, he seemed distant. Though it had been only days since she'd seen his face, he was now so far away, she could hardly speak his name out loud.

"What becomes of him, my apprentice…" he said, grey eyes sharpening like honed steel, "will be your decision."

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/RzYccBH.jpg)


	25. Mirror

The Derriphan had set a course for Ahch-To not long after their meeting with the Acolytes. Malak had ordered everyone but the pilot, and a small squad of Sith Troopers to stay behind on board the Star Destroyer. Now, Rey and Malak sat together in the cockpit of their transport shuttle, as it shuddered into Ahch-To's atmosphere.

The transport quaked as it fought against the windy currents surrounding the small island. Malak was silent beside her as the pilot brought them closer and Rey gazed out the viewport. The jagged rock spires of the island came into view, peering out from behind their cloudy veils. At the island's base, where the rock erupted from the sea, white eddies of foam swirled around crashing waves. Spans of brilliant green grass, cut through by winding stone steps, seemed a verdant oasis, when surrounded by the darkness of the violent, churning seas in every direction.

Rey scanned each crevasse cutting through the familiar shape of the island. The caretakers' huts, the thala-sirens lounging across the rocks, and… with a start, Rey leaned closer, recognizing the small domed hut where she'd woken the morning she'd first been connected to Kylo Ren. The hut where they'd touched hands from across the stars. She'd thought Luke had destroyed it when he'd found her alone with Kylo Ren. But there it stood. Rebuilt by the caretakers perhaps?

A flood of memories threatened against her carefully constructed mental walls and she tried to push back with her Force, fortifying her shields against them, filling herself with pain and anger to keep her power close. It was difficult as the transport grew nearer, seeing the Jedi Temple where she'd first learned of the reason for Kylo Ren's turn to the Dark Side, feeling the overwhelming Force of the island, unchanged from when she'd last left to face her grandfather.

"I sense your conflict about being here again, apprentice," Malak rasped.

"This was where I first became aware of the Dyad," she said, pushing down those feelings with the force of her fury. "And where I had my first lesson in the Force."

"And none of that mattered did it? Because they all left you."

The anger was so much easier to reach for now, like the saber staff at her side, it was a weapon she'd had practice drawing, and it filled her before she had a chance to feel anything else.

"Yes," Malak said, leaning in closer, his piercing grey eyes seeing through her, sizing her up. "You've learned to use the pain, Rey. But when you go to him, do not let your feelings cloud your vision. Do not let the Force manipulate you. Remember your anger, your pain, so that _you_ can be the one in control."

Rey swallowed, choking back that sliver of longing and filling her mind with the pain as Malak instructed.

It did work, soothing the ache in her heart with the cool touch of darkness as it was channeled into strength. She clenched her teeth as she felt the power rise within her, yearning for something to unleash against.

The ship settled with an uneven jolt and Rey rose, grabbed her pack, and led the way down the loading ramp. The second sun had nearly set, and twilight would soon wash over the island. She inhaled the briny air and pulled her hood down farther before leaping off the edge of the island. Another rock ledge separated her from the mouth of the cave, and she leapt again.

The Sith Troopers stayed behind with the ship, but Malak followed close at her heels until finally, Rey stood peering into the maw of the cave. Like a tentacled beast, it loomed Dark in the Force, ready to devour anyone that came near. It pulsed with shadow, a heartbeat in the body of the Force, pumping cold energy into the space around them. Rey listened to the crash of the waves and the rhythm of that Dark Force, realizing she was no longer afraid of what she would find in the cave. No fear, only restless anticipation.

"The only way down is through here," she said, pointing to the mouth of the cave.

Malak inhaled deeply, as though tasting the air itself. "I can feel it," he said, his voice pure pleasure, even through the modulator. "Such power."

He stared long and hard at the entrance to the cave, the wind lashing at his cape, darkness billowing around him in the Force like swirling mist.

Rey focused again on the cave. This time, she had come prepared. She removed the rope ladder from her pack, hooked it to a nearby rock outcropping, and unfurled the ladder into the darkness.

Malak nodded and Rey began her descent.

The air changed the instant she was through the cave's mouth. It stuck to her skin like oil, coated her lungs, thick and cold, and made it difficult to drag in a second breath. She closed her eyes, willing herself not to panic, despite the sensation of something heavy sitting on her chest. As she continued to descend, her body adjusted to the amount of effort required to breathe and anxiety released its tight grip on her muscles.

Reaching the end of the ladder, Rey hung, swaying gently over the dark water. The surface was so still, it could have been a slab of glossy stone. She leaned her weight forward, then back, gathering momentum and jumped, landing with her boots in a few inches of water, sending ripples across the pool. The sound sliced through the silence as it bounced off the cave walls.

She smiled to herself, her dry feet were a vast improvement from the drenching she'd received last time. She'd received such a soaking, she'd had to build a fire almost immediately to keep from freezing after she'd gone back to her hut. Her muscles went taut, as the memory rolled powerfully over her - The fire, seeing his face across from her, his touch. That instant flare of warmth through the Bond.

 _Perhaps you are not ready._ Malak's voice carved through her memories like a vibroblade.

He'd already climbed down and was gathering momentum to leap from the ladder. He landed gracefully for someone whose barrel chest was the same circumference as a happabore's.

"I am ready," she said, stoking her voice with power as she blocked the unwanted memories.

He didn't respond, only studying her, brushing his Force against her mind to check for weaknesses.

Rey took several tentative steps toward the mirror, reaching out through the pulsing energy all around. Her boots sloshed in the shallow water, but she could hardly hear it over her ragged breathing. She tried to keep her anger flowing to block out the memories of the emptiness she'd felt when she'd seen nothing but herself in that mirror. A reminder of how alone she was.

And still was.

Anger. Rage. Pain.

She wrapped it around her like a cloak.

"Remember, use the pain, Rey. Draw from it and pull him to you." His warning echoed sharply across the cave walls.

She turned to look at her Master and nodded once.

"Once he is in the same plane, use the power of the Dyad to push back against the gateway. Break it open."

"Yes, Master," she said, her voice as cold as the icy water swirling at her feet.

Rey lifted her boots, one at a time, as she crossed the remaining space toward the mirror. She became hyper-aware of her body in that moment. Those last steps, the flex of her thighs, the tension in her fisted hands, water splashing beneath her feet, leather boots creaking with each step.

When Rey finally stood before her reflection, she hardly recognized the creature glowering back at her. Eyes sunken, purple half-moons cutting deep grooves under her eyes, and skin pale as moonlight, this was someone else entirely. With painted lips, she curved a wicked smile that reflected back at her.

She tried to ignore the tricks of the Force in this place, reaching for her familiar cloak of anger again to shield herself, before raising her hand and pressing it against the mirror. It was smooth and cool beneath her palm, radiating the power she now recognized in the Force as a vergence. She'd felt it on Lothal, too. The heady mixture of Dark and Light, Then and Now.

This was the very place where time and space could bend. And she intended to make it do just that. Bend. To _her_ will this time.

It had been days since she'd purposely called on the Bond, but with a firm hold on her fury, she reached out. Rey closed her eyes, willing the Force to flow through those golden threads at her core, digging deep to where she'd buried those feelings and pulling at them.

Nothing happened for a long, silent moment.

And she wondered if their connection had already been destroyed, if she had killed it with the ferocity of her rejection. Her hand faltered, lifting briefly from the smooth surface.

Then, something shifted on the other side and she pressed her hand firm against the mirror again. She squinted her eyes, studying the place she'd seen the movement for a silent moment. She didn't dare breathe as she watched, every muscle poised, training on that silhouette. The shadow approached from the other side of the mirror in three long strides - tall with dark waves skimming broad shoulders.

There was no question as to this shadow's identity.

The haze of the mirror cleared around the place where Ben Solo's hand pressed to meet hers, not from across the stars, but from another plane of existence.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/pdYhI46.jpg)


	26. Destiny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is staying safe and well during this time. As a healthcare worker, I encourage everyone to do their part and take this social distancing seriously to slow the spread of this virus.
> 
> With that public service announcement out of the way, we bring you another chapter! And let me tell you, these illustrations here broke me many times over. Oh my gosh, so good! On my side, I'm hoping I can keep the chapters flowing, but my favorite coffee shop I always visit to write (to escape my screaming children long enough to focus) is closed and writing from home has been much slower. That and work is as crazy as its ever been. But I do hope to update by next weekend again.
> 
> Thank you, wonderful readers for your encouraging comments, each notification is a bright spot in my day. Especially now with everything going on.

Ben's gaze never faltered as he stared back at her through the mirror, his brows creased, concern flooding down the Bond. Rey didn't miss how his bottom lip trembled as he searched her face, lingering over every inch of her, not saying anything, but letting their connection speak for him.

Rey wore her expression like a mask as he spoke her name.

Even though the mirror silenced his voice, she saw the shape of the sounds on his lips, heard them through the Bond.

But she could not let herself lose focus on why she was here. He'd thrown her away. His concern didn't matter anymore. The only thing that mattered was power.

She lowered her brows, sharpened her gaze and wrapped herself in Darkness. She let that rage course through her, the shadow mixing with her blood until her vision darkened.

_Power._

"Yes," she heard a voice from behind her. "Now pull him through."

Her body was the night itself, and she could think of nothing but that all-encompassing power. Nothing else mattered as she heaved at the Bond, her icy grip wrenching at the other half of the Dyad, pulling him through to this side of the vergence.

But her darkness was met by something unexpected.

Surging though the black of midnight like the last flare of a dying star, was Ben Solo's Force. Rey tried to squint her eyes, as if she could simply close them against the light suddenly exploding everywhere in the Force. But this was not the light of a simple star, this was something so much more.

Rey clenched her teeth, willing the shadow to wrap around that incessant brightness, to smother it, to let it find purchase and pull him through to her. But like wisps of cold mist, her power evaporated next to the heat of his Force. The Light of his touch materialized on this side of the vergence and as though drawing on the very strings of her heart, he wrenched her off her feet and she was tumbling through the endless blackness of space and time. As she fell, she was encapsulated in the warmth of his energy and with one last surge of power, she was dragged from that infinite nothing and set down at his feet.

She raised her head, finding herself surrounded by that familiar black void pocked with pinpoints of light. The World Between Worlds.

A feral roar of frustration tore from her and she launched herself to her feet, igniting her saber staff and standing to face him.

Ben Solo had the nerve to smile at her - an expression that didn't touch his eyes.

"Rey – "

She cut him off, her voice a rasping, painful thing as she shrieked. "First you push me out, now you trap me with you?!" She was seething, anger rippling like cool vapor in the Force around her and she drew it into her. Drinking of it, letting it guide her and before he could answer, she threw herself at him.

She wished she hadn't noticed the flash of sadness in his eyes as he ignited his saber, but she wasted precious energy burying her feelings underneath her rage before following through with a powerful swing of her weapon.

Just as she slammed her staff down across his shoulder, her momentum shuddered to a halt, held at bay by his strong parry, her staff hanging up on a crossguard.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/WQxkeBj.jpg)

Baring her teeth, she leaned into him, forcing her blade closer until it scorched the collar of his robe. Ice was the song in her veins as her muscles tensed, jaw clenching until finally… she exploded, unleashing all of that hurt he'd caused and then some.

He stumbled, caught off guard by the sudden surge of Darkness, but he recovered quickly, meeting her staff swing for swing. Again and again she slammed her weapon down on him, spun as she swept it across the space he occupied. Again and again he lifted his starlight saber to meet her attack. Her staff hissed and spat its venom as Ben Solo remained a bright star in her endless night.

Sweat burned in her eyes and her muscles throbbed with the ache of fatigue by the time he managed to push her away long enough to disengage.

"It was a mistake, Rey," he said panting as he flicked off his saber and hooked it to his belt. He made a point to show her his empty palms as he took a step toward her. "I should never have done it and I'm sorry. I thought it was the only way to save you. I cannot bear to lose you, Rey. I couldn't imagine it." His face twisted with those last words.

Rey swallowed painfully, as though the walls of her throat were suddenly barbed with thorns.

No, no, no. She was tired of feeling like this.

She could practically hear her Master's voice in her head, warning her of the Force's manipulation. No, she would not be its puppet again.

She narrowed her eyes, her only warning as she sprang at him again.

His shining blade was there to meet her again, but Rey would not be beaten. No one would make her feel abandoned again. No one would take this power from her. And she reached out with her empty hand, willing the Darkness to wrap its cold fist around Ben Solo's windpipe.

Disbelief streaked across his expression just before his weapon clattered to the ground and he clutched both hands to his throat. His boots lifted from the ground and Rey's ears sang with the sweet pleasure of power. It was all she could feel as he wheezed and begged, fingers trying in vain to pry her icy vice from his neck.

An explosion of Light across her vision and he had freed himself, but foolishly, he did not attack. She used the opportunity to double down on her Force, squeezing tighter as he pushed back against her hard. Her teeth ground together as she channeled the Dark Side, wringing every last ounce of power from the Force, but even so, she could not gain an inch.

She swiped at the back of her forehead, but more sweat beaded on her forehead as a warm cloud of energy floated across her skin. Like a balmy summer day, the energy stuck to her and thawed a part of her that had been unreachable. She recognized this energy. This was a Force signature she knew well.

Leia.

Rey's shadow receded, crawling away from the inescapable warmth that seemed to fill the entire space around them. Even the Darkness itself couldn't stand to share the same space as the Princess of Alderaan.

A moment later, her shape took form, glowing and translucent, but emanating a vitality that spoke to her power, even in the In-Between. A bluish halo accentuated the braided crown she wore around her head, and long robes swept the floor as she turned to Ben.

"Hello son," she said, smiling at Ben who had collapsed and was still clutching his throat.

Ben's Light flared again, meeting his mother's warmth and Rey's cold skin burned with the intensity of this moment.

Oh Gods.

Something wrenched into place inside of Rey in that moment.

Oh Gods what was she doing?

"Mother!" Ben's voice was hoarse, but the boyish enthusiasm in his tone was unmistakably clear.

He pushed himself to his feet and ran to her. He _ran_ to her, wrapping her much smaller frame in a tight embrace and lifting her from the floor.

"I'm sorry." His whispered apology was half choked by emotion, but Rey could hear it plainly even from where she stood.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/2OnrgrD.jpg)

The blinding brightness of the two of them together caused a pain to ignite behind her eyes. They were like a collision of stars and Rey was too close, burning from the sheer power of this celestial event.

Ben's mouth moved as he whispered more words into Leia's ear which Rey couldn't hear. His mother clutched him tight in response, squeezing her eyes shut as she focused on the contact.

"I love you, Son," she said, loud enough for Rey to hear. "Your father would be so proud."

She brushed a sweaty lock of hair from his face, before finally stepping back. But Ben seemed almost unwilling to let her go completely, his hands reaching for hers and squeezing just one more time before he released her, his smile as bright as his Force in that moment.

Leia turned to her now. "Rey," Leia said, still smiling, glowing brighter after the embrace with her son. But her expression began to harden as she let her eyes travel across Rey's face, her clothes, up and down the weapon still buzzing in her grip. "This is not what you trained for. Your destiny lies along a different path."

Destiny. Something about that word sent a rush of darkness through her again.

"To Hell with Destiny," she spat. "You knew what the Force had planned for Ben." Her skin was too tight, her heart was beating too fast and she spoke the last word as a curse in the face of her old master. "Death."

She saw Ben flinch from her words, some part of him recognizing the kernel of truth there.

Rey let the word hang in the air between them like a shadow, thick and dark and inevitable. She watched it hit home on Leia's face next, her lips tightening, jaw clenching as though Rey had physically struck her. Rey didn't let up. "The Force use Ben the same way it used everyone in your family. Why then, did you let me continue on that same course?"

Leia held her gaze, her brown eyes lightening to pools of amber as she took a step closer. "Perhaps you both needed to fall, if you are to understand the dual nature of the Force. If you are to bring balance."

"Balance?" She sneered, unable to wholly contain the rage that was building again, thrumming against her eardrums. "There is no _balance._ "

"Rey," The softness in her voice scraped painfully against the frozen corners of her heart as Leia spoke her name. "I am sorry I wasn't there for you in your darkest moments, I should have –"

"But you weren't. You were afraid, just as Luke was."

"No." She shook her head. "I was never afraid. Not with you. This time, I was prepared."

Rey's lip wobbled, but she steeled herself. "You _should_ have been afraid."

"You don't mean that. Search your feelings," Leia said, taking another step toward her and Rey's skin began to prickle from the sheer warmth she radiated in the Force. "Powerful light, powerful darkness. You will find a way to open the gateway together. And the two of you _will_ bring balance to the Force."

Destiny. The Force.

Yes, she remembered what she'd decided about the Force. She was through being its tool. Was this the Force manipulating her again? Through her old Master? Something twisted inside of her, a gust of glacial wind, sending her thoughts into a stormy chaos. The rhythmic _whoosh, whoosh_ of her own pulse pounding threatened to carry her away as she stared at the face of her old Master.

Trapped. She was trapped and being made again, to blindly obey the will of the Force. To become an instrument of its destruction.

Rey raised her head to the blanket of endless space and time overhead and screamed. She inhaled, filling her lungs with darkness. Here, from the World Between Worlds, she could draw deeply from the boundless well of power that spanned millennia. Her body swelled with the power of generations of Sith. She could feel their presence close by, but this was her battle, they would not interfere.

She narrowed her eyes and straightened her shoulders as she ignited her staff again and stepped toward Ben Solo who was unarmed, defenseless.

Leia's Force Ghost dissipated, as though she'd been nothing more than a twisted hallucination, brought here to try to tempt her back into submission.

Ben stared back at her in disbelief, using the Force to call his saber to his hand, though still stubbornly refusing to activate it. She was now mere feet away. What was he trying to prove?

It didn't matter.

_Power. Power. Power._

The words were a discordant symphony in her mind as she stepped closer, closer. Her heart thumped to its rhythm. Her feet moved in time to its command. It drowned out all thoughts of him and she welcomed the icy flood to wash away that weakness.

Only when she reached back over her shoulder for momentum and struck down hard with her staff across his upper chest did Ben Solo finally raise his weapon to block at the last second. Even as their sabers locked in a sizzling standstill, Ben gazed at her with an expression of pure misery. His eyes welled with tears as he looked down at her, holding her crimson saber at bay until a single tear streaked down his cheek.

_Balance. Powerful light, powerful darkness._

The memory of Leia's words cut through, unbidden, across her thoughts and she tried to will the pain to press them away. But it was hard to ignore the blazing light that still shone from _him._

She let the rage guide her hands as she twisted her staff, whirling it in a tempest of strikes angled just so, to push him away. To make him focus on anything but her eyes.

"Join me and open the gateway," she hissed, never relenting, keeping her attacks coming one after another to keep from having to look at him. "It's the only way to stop being used by the Force."

"No," he said, his tone soft despite the immense power he was harnessing to defend himself. "Not until you work through whatever it is Malak has done to you."

"He hasn't done anything to me!" Rey said, pressing her staff harder into his own blade before raising a hand to shove him back with a wall of ice.

Ben stepped back with her attack, controlling it from a defensive stance, his Force shining, even in the nothingness of this In-Between.

"Please, Rey. You and I are the same. He's using your pain to manipulate you, just as Palpatine did to me."

"No one has manipulated me, aside from the Force itself," she said, throwing herself into another flurry of strikes.

Ben did the minimum required to block her, but no more. His unwillingness to fight her only angered her further and she clawed at every last shred of darkness, exploding into him with a push of Force which sent him sliding on his back away from her.

He grunted with the impact. Then, locking eyes with her from where he'd landed on the ground, he clenched his jaw, looked off into the vast emptiness of this In-Between, and threw his saber into the darkness. It clattered to the floor, somewhere far off in the distance, and skidded to a halt, leaving them in silence.

Nothing but the harsh buzzing of her weapon filled the air.

Rey felt each step as a shuddering jolt beneath her as she strode to where he had fallen. She breathed deeply, steeling herself against her own weakness, attempting to sever that tie she felt to his feelings. Then, slowly, she raised her blood-red staff to Ben Solo's neck.

He looked up at her and she was surprised by the expression he wore.

There was no fear in those imploring, dark eyes. Only a tender, beseeching openness that peeled back the frozen layers of her heart for the briefest of moments. That gaze rendered her wholly immobile, it glued her feet in place, paralyzed the Darkness in her veins, and stopped her heart completely. Those eyes stilled her hand, halting the movement of her staff which she clutched so tightly, the ribbed grip dug painfully into her palm.

"Rey," he said, his voice containing all of the light and heat of a thousand Jakku suns, "I love you."

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/qJ5qHWc.jpg)

The breath was punched from her lungs and her world shifted on its side.

She had to remember how to breathe again as she spent several silent moments locked in his gaze.

When she finally willed her lungs to work, moving air in and out, in and out, she focused on their connection which was pulling uncomfortably at the very core of her. As soon as she closed her eyes to focus on their Bond, a weightless sensation wound itself tight in her belly and she looked up to watch as the In-Between slowly bled into another time, another place. She blinked and found herself somewhere strange. She studied the ageless architecture surrounding her and a dawning recognition, a powerful déjà vu, washed over her as she let her eyes trail across the structure.

Stone columns rose to meet the carved ceiling of an ancient temple and footsteps echoed across the vaulted ceilings. As she stood ensconced within the temple's expansive walls, she somehow knew who she would see before her, feeling his Force before she allowed her eyes to rest upon his features. Only when the footsteps had ceased did she finally lower her eyes onto that strikingly familiar face. Her heart was a thundering drum in her chest as she stared at the man she knew as Revan. His eyes were a perfect mirror of Ben's, gleaming with an insistent tenderness she would recognize no matter how many years had passed. Now, here, she could remember the moment he'd first confessed his feelings to her.

Revan's voice was different from Ben's, sharper, crisper somehow, but the emotional tone was the same as he spoke those words. "I love you, Bastila," he said, gazing at her as though she were the only other person in all of the galaxy. "I can't abandon you… ever."

Revan let a ghost of a smile play across his lips and he stepped forward, waiting for the answer they both felt shuddering in the Force around them. The only answer she could ever give him. An answer that would pull her away from Darth Malak and back toward the Light.

Streaks of color twisted in Rey's vision again and she was staring at Ben Solo, framed by the star-flecked blackness of infinite time and space. His declaration echoed everywhere in her mind, filling the spaces she'd stuffed with her pain and rage.

 _I love you._ His words swelled to encompass every dark corner of her being, pushing away the fear and forcing his Light to illuminate the black rot that had taken hold in her heart.

Leia's voice took on a different meaning now after hearing those words. _Your destiny… the two of you will bring balance to the Force._

Her thumb flicked the activator on her staff, quieting the violent hiss of the weapon, and her arm fell limply to her side.

"Please, Rey," he pushed himself to his feet, one side of his mouth tugging into a hopeful smile as his brows lifted and he pled with her once again. "Let me help you."

She stared back, feeling numb, weak from the ravaging emotions that were rushing through her. Darkness streaked with Light. Rage tempered by the tenderness in those timeless eyes.

She was being torn apart.

But he loved her. Her Bondmate. Her perfect match. And he loved her.

 _Power._ The voice, though insistent, was thinner, weaker. Still, it called to her, still, it wrenched painfully from the pit of her stomach.

"It's too late, I'm not strong enough to fight this Darkness." Those thorns were back in her throat, strangling her voice, cutting deep and she could feel the tears welling in her eyes as he took another step toward her.

"Take my strength," he said, now standing only inches away. The warmth of his body soothed her, melted away the frosty bite of the Dark Side gnawing at her bones. "I'll give you anything if you would just be with me, Rey. I love you."

Then, one last time, Ben Solo reached out to her. He let his open palm hang between them, offering a commitment that spanned millennia. The Force hummed between them, a soaring song of love and light and Rey stared at that hand for a long moment, before making the only decision she could ever make.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/6rH4prF.jpg)


	27. Prime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I'm sorry about the slower updates lately, as you all know, working in healthcare has made my schedule much more unpredictable, not only that but having the kids home means my writing schedule has suffered! (As they look over my shoulder… "Mom what's that? What are you doing? What's that word? Who's Ben?")
> 
> I so appreciate all of the understanding and encouraging comments. It keeps me pushing along. Writing this story is a bright spot in all of this for me, and JenniferLadyBug's illustrations make me supremely happy 😊 I know better now than to promise a future date for my next update, but I will promise that the story will be finished. We are nearing the home stretch! Stay safe and healthy!

There was no Dark Side, no Light Side as Rey studied Ben's outstretched hand. The threads of energy connecting them knew no such boundaries.

His fingers trembled, but not from fear. She was certain of it with the Bond wide open like this, his thoughts were as easy to read as her own.

No… she sensed no fear. Only hope. And…

Rey's stomach lurched from the strength of the emotion he was projecting for her.

Love.

The Force coursing between them was so intense, she could practically see it in ribbons of gold and silver, the energy twining between them somehow given form. It rippled and danced in the darkness, and Rey could swear it brushed up against the bare skin of her arm. She could _feel_ the touch of that energy, velvet soft and warm.

And the sound it made was deafening. Not just to Rey's ears, but to her mind as well. Her connection with Ben thrummed to the rhythm of the infinite energy of space and time. The In-Between with the Bond laid bare was… too bright, too loud, too much of everything to take in all at once and Rey wondered how she'd ever turned away from it.

Was this how it had always been? Or had her time in Darkness made it seem so much brighter, like moving into the sunlight from a dark room?

Rey lost track of how much time she'd spent analyzing what was happening between them, startled to find, as she came back to herself that Ben Solo's gaze never faltered as he stood, still reaching for her.

But something grated harshly against these warm feelings spreading through her body. An incessant whisper in the back of her mind, rising up like a glacial tide to swallow her down.

_Power._

Yes, that was why she was here. She'd come here for power. As the whisper of that dark promise seeped into the cracks in her mind, a cold, tingling spread to the tips of her fingers.

Before it could take hold, Ben's voice cut through the fog of her tumultuous thoughts. "Please, Rey."

The tenderness behind those words made something inside of her positively bloom. Like a tiny bud of warmth and light unfolding petals of comfort until it illuminated those dark places of her soul.

Rey's eyes stung with the tears threatening behind her eyes, as she lifted her hand from her side, drawn to him as she always had been, and always would be. She pulled off her glove, and slowly, tentatively, she placed her bare hand in his.

The Bond erupted with this contact, resonating through her, filling the core of herself with chords of pure energy. Not an energy of Dark or Light, but one that encompassed all things. It was balance, just as Leia had said.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/qGRR64H.jpg)

It gave her the courage to look up at him again. Ben's eyes shone like polished onyx, gleaming with that same love he had professed, and he smiled, pulling her close.

Her mind seemed to detach from her body in that moment, as all of her limbs went numb, weighed down by the frozen chains of darkness still so close, threatening to pull her back down again. Her body sagged with the effort of fighting against the darkness and Ben was there to steady her, strong arms wrapping tight around her waist.

"I've got you," he said, nuzzling into her hair to whisper against the top of her head. "I know you don't feel like you deserve this, like it's too late. But you showed me it's not."

His words only ratcheted the vice around her heart tighter, squeezing the life from her. She remembered. She'd thought that he was beyond saving once, and with the first whispers of the Dark Side churning inside of her on Kef Bir, Rey had made a mistake on those Death Star ruins.

She would never forget the sickening smell of Ben's burning innards as she cauterized them on the end of her saber. His look of pure shock in the aftermath told her everything she needed to know. Ben Solo would never have dealt a blow she couldn't answer. He was incapable of hurting her.

Bile rose in her throat.

"I love you, Rey."

The first hot tear streamed down her face, followed by many, many more as they spilled, unrelenting onto the front of Ben's tunic. She clung to him then, salt and heat and gentle strokes of his fingers through her hair. She let his scent wash over her, inhaling it like a balm to her emotions.

Even in his arms, sheltered and warm, she couldn't keep her thoughts quiet.

She tightened her fist around his robes as she felt her anger coiling someplace deep inside, realizing that they were stuck here, unable to return through the gateway. She'd failed him.

"I can't get you out of the World Between Worlds now," she said. "You should have let me pull you out."

Any remaining rage fizzled as he pulled back to gaze at her, his eyes melting away that icy anger into a warm puddle as she stared back at him. His hands never stopped moving, stroking up her arms as if making up for all that time apart, silently calming her emotions.

"I needed to get you away from Malak's influence," he said. "He manipulated Bastila all those years ago. He knows what to say to tap into your fears."

But Rey still couldn't look at Ben, remembering all the pain she'd caused, seeing it reflected in his eyes. Instead, she turned her head to press her ear against his chest, to listen to his heartbeat, to avoid that penetrating gaze. "I don't deserve this. You… any of –"

"Stop." His voice rumbled a low warning against her body. "Enough of that." He cupped her cheeks in his hands, then. Roughly. More rough than he'd ever been with her before and she sensed a desperation there that he wasn't able to mask through the Bond as he forced her to look at him.

"I know how you feel," he said, his voice cracking on the words. "Hopeless, like it's too late and you're alone."

He pulled her into his chest again, as though he needed her closer to continue this confession. "When you admitted to me that you would have taken Ben's hand, it was like I'd been dipped into a warm bath and pulled back out."

His solid arms around her provided an anchor to the warmth he was projecting, the heat of his love she knew he was allowing to surge down the Bond. He _was_ giving her his strength and she felt the cold teeth of the Dark Side growing distant in her mind as she was wrapped in his protective Light, his energy keeping the rage at bay.

"I love you. I love everything about you." He paused to look down at her, seeing just how far he could bore into her soul with those deep brown eyes of his. "Light. Dark. I love it all _._ "

Something devious lifted the corner of his lip. "I especially love, _this_ ," he said, running a hand over the black fabric clinging to her hips and letting his eyes travel down her body the rest of the way. He bent to place his lips close to her ear and whispered. "You look nice in black."

Her toes curled in her boots and she felt a smile pull at her lips. A strange sound lodged in her throat. A laugh. The first laugh she'd managed in days.

Ben smiled down at her, his eyes roving over her face, settling on her smile.

And he leaned down to press his lips against hers. His kiss was gentle at first, but then, as if reaching for something more, something deeper, he cradled her head in his hand and pressed closer. He tasted so sweet, so _right,_ and she whimpered into his mouth, overcome by the sudden shame of having nearly thrown this away. His grip tightened against her hip and in her hair as his rebuke came down the Bond.

_Don't._

She obeyed, focusing on his taste, his touch, his Force. It was easy, so easy with him. And she was already breathless, desire tingling across every inch of her skin when he pulled away.

He stared at her for a heartbeat, then tensed, teeth clenching. When he spoke again it was through a throat that seemed too tight. "He didn't _touch_ you, did he? Force help me if he got near you…"

Rey was shaking her head. "No, he …. No. It was nothing like that."

His relief came as the color returned to his face.

She ran her fingers over his shoulders as she looked up at him, her heart still hammering in her chest, but realizing they still weren't safe here.

"The Derriphan is on Ahch-To. The rest of the Sith Fleet has gone to Correllia, with plans to attack Mon Calamari within days."

His fingers traced her cheek and it was as though every touch brought another part of her back to life. She wanted those hands everywhere.

"I should warn Finn," Ben said.

He swallowed, looking down at Rey and she could practically see the confused thoughts flit across his features.

"I won't leave you," he said, taking her hand and interlacing their fingers.

A low voice boomed across the empty space. "Take her with you."

They turned simultaneously to track its source.

A figure with an all-too familiar blue glow stepped toward them. His angular features were deep set in his wrinkled face. A long, white beard trailed from his chin and his gold-trimmed robes skimmed the floor as he strode forward with the confidence of royalty.

She recognized his image from the Mortis Mural.

The Father.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/g6olnu3.jpg)

"Don't look so surprised," he said, sweeping knowing eyes over their gaping faces. "You have been chosen by the Force to restore balance." His eyes settled on Rey with those words before moving back to Ben. "You have been chosen, to finish what your grandfather started."

Balance. There was that word again.

"But we're trapped here, how can we do anything if we're stuck in this In-Between?" Rey asked, hating how she sounded like an incredulous child in the face of this ancient being.

The Father dipped his chin to level his gaze at her.

"You," he said pointing between them, "are the Prime Jedi Reborn. When the Force calls for balance, you are summoned to protect it. The Dyad. Two sides that are one."

Rey clutched at her chest with her free hand, as though it could restore the breath that was knocked from her lungs. Prime reborn? Ben's hand tightened around hers. This was apparently news to him, too.

"Where one goes, so does the other. Use the Bond."

Ben made to speak, but then pressed his lips together as though unable to form the words.

"Focus on the gateway in Balance and you may travel anywhere together. But hurry, the spirits of the Sith are close."

The Father took one more step toward them. "Remember, Dark and Light must live together. Find Balance. Only then, will you master the Sight. Only then, can there be peace."

And before either of them could speak, the Father drifted away on an invisible wind, streams of light carried off into the black of nothing.

When Ben turned back to gaze down at her, the weight of his eyes on her felt heavy and infinite. With this new knowledge of who they were and what connected them… it was almost too much to wrap a logical thought around. But she felt it. Deep at the core of herself, in every bone, in every cell of her being she knew.

It was why they fit so perfectly together.

Two that are one.

Ben reached out to take her other hand, now facing him with interlaced fingers, he spoke. "Focus on the Bond. Don't let go of my hands. Let's go warn our friends."

Rey nodded, her chest warming with his words. _Our friends,_ he had said. It was everything she'd wanted for him. For them. Belonging and love and as she focused on those beautiful golden threads connecting them, she closed her eyes, allowing him to pull her along, her stomach clenching as gravity disengaged and she was whirling and tumbling through space.

When she opened her eyes, it was to find two of those friends in the midst of a full-fledged argument.

"How can we fight _that?"_ Poe was screaming at Finn from the Falcon's pilot chair while the holo-projections of Lando and Maz floated between them on the Falcon's console.

A meeting of generals. A very heated meeting it seemed.

"You won't have to," Ben said. Finn looked up, and he blinked once, twice, as his eyes locked onto hers.

"Rey," he croaked.

"Wait, what?" Poe said, turning his head to scan all across the Falcon's space. He paled and Ben held up a hand, seeing where Poe's thoughts had drifted.

"No, no. Tell him Rey is fine, she's projecting with me. We're both fine," Ben assured.

Finn nodded and relayed the message. "She's alright, Poe. She's alive." Finn stood from the co-pilot's chair. His jaw tensed as his eyes drifted over her, his hands curling into fists.

"Finn – " She wanted to say she was sorry, she'd started to say it for Force's sake, but the words lodged in her throat.

Ben tightened his hand around hers, an anchor to his warmth.

Finn shook his head, knowing her well enough, he probably predicted what she was thinking with no need at all from the Force. "No, it's alright. Let's figure out how to get you two out of there. I'm assuming you're both in the World Between Worlds?"

She nodded gravely.

"Ben said you won't have to fight them," she said. "Not yet at least. Malak and a small crew are on Ahch-To, with the Derriphan waiting in orbit. The rest of the Sith Fleet is still near Corellia," this they'd known. But the next part… "They have plans to attack Mon Calamari within days."

Finn took a long draught of air and she felt him reaching for peace.

"But all of that could change if they find out what happened to me," Rey added. "I'm not sure what Malak will do if he finds that I'm no longer with him."

Finn brought Poe up to speed on the conversation, his eyes widening at mention of Mon Calamari. "We need to warn the rest of the fleet," Poe was directing his statement at the holos of Lando and Maz.

Maz was the picture of calm as usual. "We'll warn them, but I'm not fully prepared to pull out immediately. Those shipyards are crucial if we are to maintain the upper hand," Maz said. "We need to defend them."

"I'm on it," Lando said. "They came once, they'll come again if they're needed."

And Rey knew which "they" he was thinking of. The Free Worlds Fleet. That hodge podge of fighters and freighters, a random smattering of beings from every inch of the galaxy who came together to fight for their freedom. And Rey had no doubt that they would do it again.

"Send out a warning," Rey said. "Though I'm hoping we may not need them."

Ben looked down at Rey, eyes wide. She smiled up at him, enjoying the fact that she could still surprise him.

"I have an idea."

"Rey has an idea," Finn echoed for everyone else.

"Maybe I can convince the Sith Fleet to pursue other goals," she said.

Ben's lip twitched into a half-smile. "And how to you propose to do that?"

"We need to deal with Darth Malak," she said. "If he is dead, if his apprentice rises to destroy him, the Sith acolytes and the rest of the Fleet will follow the next Sith line for that power. Me."

"I should be able to call them off, set them to another task," Rey said. "I've had enough death."

Finn nodded, his lips pressing into a tight line. "Good luck, Rey. You know we're here for you."

"I know."

And with that, Ben's projection began to fade and she felt herself reeling, spiraling down, down, down, back to the black endless nothing of the In-Between.

But this time, she wasn't alone. The infinite emptiness wasn't frightening. Ben Solo was with her and he hadn't let her go since she'd taken his hand.

When they'd both settled on two feet, he turned to face her. "I take it you have some idea of how to get out of here then?" He said, raising an eyebrow in question.

"The Father said it's as simple as focusing together in Balance," she said. "We'll find that balance together and pull ourselves out, exactly the same way you managed to pull me in."

"Well, when you make it sound that simple…" he said.

"It seemed to be simple enough for you," she laughed, stepping in closer to him, sending him the signal he needed to wrap her fully in his arms.

"You really think I was going to let you get away from me that easily?" he asked, squeezing her to his chest. "I've been trying to find you to get you to join me for over a year."

"You are persistent," she said. "I'll give you that."

"You'll give me more than that," he said, his voice low, igniting something visceral inside of her with the promise of his words. Gods. They needed to fight a Sith Lord. She couldn't be distracted by what his voice did to her. But with her body fully pressed against his chest, feeling the hard lines of him beneath her hands. Maybe the Sith Lord could wait one more minute.

Because she needed to do one more thing before they travelled together to Ahch-To.

Rey brought her hands up to cradle Ben's face, running her fingers over the lines of his jaw, the curve of his lip, all the while, letting her eyes burn their message into his soul. She had to ensure that he felt every word as truth. "Thank you for never giving up on me," she said, fingers still stroking the side of his face. "I love you, Ben."

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/KULKNYv.jpg)

And she sealed her words with a kiss.


	28. Shield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers, as you may have seen on my Tumblr, it's been a rough few weeks. I lost my Grandfather on April 22. So, instead of writing this love story, I was writing a eulogy. In such a strange time, only ten people were allowed at my grandfather's graveside service. But it was wonderful and healing to write and speak those words for him and I'm in a much better head space as of now.
> 
> On top of everything, I'm moving. After 13 years in the same home… and Kriff, we had so much stuff!
> 
> But despite all of this, I'm happy to say that we are back! I just know that with finishing this move and unpacking everything, my chapters are going to be slower to write. I appreciate all of your patience and concerned notes. They meant a lot. Let me know what you think about our space couple's latest adventure here, I need all the encouragement I can get as I finish writing their happily ever after. Every review means the world to me!

The air in the World Between Worlds held an unnatural chill, a sharpness that was unlike anything she'd experienced on any planetary surface. Rey filled her lungs with that uncomfortable, prickling cold with every gasping breath.

But Ben was all strength and warmth beneath her lips, a perfect contrast to the cold, black of the In-Between and to the Darkness still streaking through her blood.

The kiss, much like every kiss between them, seemed to take on a life of its own. Rey wanted nothing more than to taste every inch of him, show him just how much she loved him. She'd started to do just that, pressing her hips hard against him and she could feel, through his robes, that he wanted her just as much.

Her hands roved over the hard muscles of his stomach, circling around to explore his waist and then lower, grabbing and kneading greedily. She tried not to think of how much she'd hurt him, of how her own darkness had almost consumed them both as she pressed herself against him. His breaths grew uneven, rasping in little pants that made her ache even more for want of him.

He pulled away from the kiss and sighed her name against the skin at her neck. It sent a shiver down her arms, gooseflesh erupting it its wake.

She felt its echo through her core, settling right between her legs and she moaned - a needy little sound that surprised her as it left her lips and she pulled at the sleeves of his tunic, needing him close, unable to stand the thought of being separated again.

At that moment, Ben froze, pulling back with wide eyes and staring off into the beyond.

"Please save that thought for later, Rey," he said, the thickness in his voice only stoking that desire for him. "But we have to leave here," he continued, the urgency in his tone gradually replacing the lusty roughness until his last word snapped her completely back to reality. "Now."

He stood staring into her eyes, curling her hair around his fingers, giving her the time to sense what he had.

It didn't take long.

As soon as she pulled her attention from him and cast about with the Force, something bristled the hair at the back of her neck. An eerie fog had begun to creep closer to the edges of her senses. It was like a thunderhead drifting toward them on electrified air, the darkness ready to explode, to drench their comfortable embrace and tear them apart. She could sense their sinister intentions. She could scent it on the breeze.

Black as midnight and primed with power.

The Dark Side.

Rey pulled quickly from Ben, grabbing onto his hand, her voice sounding more desperate than she intended. "Focus on the mirror cave. Meditate in balance like the Father said."

He nodded once, fixing his gaze on her. "Malak will be there."

She met his eyes. "Yes, he will."

"We could come through someplace else, take him by surprise…"

"No." She shook her head. "There's no need for that." Rey had already sensed glimpses of their path, like guiding lights in a spaceport, the feelings were sending her toward some destiny she was now ready to face.

Because Rey knew this time, she was ready. She had Ben and their Bond. She had the other half of herself. But unlike before, she knew this time she would not lose sight of who she was. Who _they_ were.

He nodded and she squeezed his hand, feeling the strength in each long finger as he knit them between hers. Then, she did as the Father had instructed and focused on neither light nor dark, but that place in the Force that belonged to everyone.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/jcwn3zR.jpg)

"Balance." Ben spoke the word more to himself than anything else, and she felt his touch in the Force as he reached out alongside her.

It was a new sensation, one that she'd never experienced when training with Leia or Malak. With Leia, she'd been afraid when her energy went cold, afraid of the attraction she held to the darkness and she'd forced herself into a space of pure light so small and tight, it blocked any chance of the Dark Side seeping in. She'd been wrong to do that of course, and now, with a new perspective she could see everything she'd been missing.

The Dark Side was all rage and pain, pure power, yes, but restrictive in its own way.

This… this was _different._

Without trying to fit into one energy or the other, she felt a freedom as she cast her senses about. She sought to anchor herself in the Force, to pull from the light and dark, to truly see the balance around her. Even here, in the World Between Worlds, she could sense it. The new life constantly exploding into existence across every system of the galaxy kept in check by the slow dimming of that same life as death inevitably claimed those souls. Life and death, peace and violence.

Light and dark.

And Ben met her there, as he always had.

The Bond flourished in this space, as their minds hung in the balance together. Rey felt their connection surge, his memories becoming hers just as it always did when…

And it hit her then. The truth of the Bond. It was stronger, it had _always_ been stronger, when they were closer to balance. The Bond, their souls were _meant_ for this.

A warmth of contentment washed over her through their connection as Ben's hand seemed to melt around her own. He undoubtedly felt it too. This was easy, this was what they'd been created for.

And when they both focused on that space of balance in that endless web of Force and sent their thoughts toward the mirror cave someplace far away, she felt no surprise through their connection when they began spinning toward that place. Gravity did not exist as they twisted and fell, weaving and snaking through time and space in the stomach-churning grasp of some unseen entity.

The sharp, cold air of the World Between Worlds grew thick and moist, the weightless twisting sensation replaced by solid ground under her boots.

But she had no time to revel in the joy of feeling Ben, finally real and solid at her side. Because just as she was about to rejoice in that very thought, a familiar voice echoed across the walls of the cavern, stealing this moment from them.

"You have failed, apprentice."

The electronic sound grated uncomfortably against her senses, every muscle in her body seizing as if she'd suffered an electric shock. It was only when she felt Ben's hand give a light squeeze that she dared open her eyes.

Moonlight was spilling through the small cavern entrance overhead, reflecting off the water and glinting about on the rippled cave ceiling overhead. It was eerily silent, no waves breaking, no Porgs shuffling about as they would have been up above. Just thick, impenetrable silence.

And Malak seemed comfortable to let the silence loom between them. He was just as she'd left him, face unreadable, boots fracturing the glassy surface of the shallow water as he stood motionless.

His gaze was as sharp as durasteel as he stared at them from the other side of the cavern. "So, you've fallen for his deceit, apprentice? You've sacrificed your power for a pair of pretty eyes?"

Rey's body reacted much differently to Malak's presence now, steadied by Ben's presence. There was no racing heartbeat, no cold sweat announcing her unease. There was only a calm sense of determination. He was her anchor in this, and she was deep in the balance now.

"No Malak," Rey said. "I failed by ever listening to you. I let my desperation drive a hunger for power." Rey's voice faltered, but speaking her failures out loud, hard as it was, would ensure she would not turn down that path again. "But the Force is not an instrument to wield. I was wrong to think it was. We are here to put things back into balance."

Rey could swear his eyes twinkled with something akin to amusement.

"Oh Rey, so fickle. So quick to change allegiances. Your grandfather would be disappointed."

"Good," Ben snapped, now stepping forward into the space between them. "Palpatine is dead, and you will join him soon."

Malak took two steps forward before dipping his chin to level an icy cold glare at Ben. "Palpatine was half dead to begin with. I'm sorry to disappoint you Solo, but as you can see, I am not. I'm stronger than I've ever been and have the power of generations of Sith at my command. I'm sorry to say that whatever this is," he drew an invisible line with a gloved finger between the two of them. "Ends now."

A flurry of movement and Malak had his saber ignited and was already leaping at them.

It was so tempting to reach for the pure power that Rey knew was there waiting under the veil of her rage and loneliness. But she had a different option now, a path to choose that had been there all along, but one that she'd been too blind to see. A path that she and Ben could walk together.

So Rey palmed her staff, ignited it and waited for Malak to come to her.

The blow from his saber, fueled by a pure rage, crashed down onto her with the Force of a frozen tidal wave. Her blade vibrated from the blow as she tightened her grip to keep it from slipping from her hands. His power sheared through her defenses, prickling her skin as it flowed over her like a cold shower of biting sparks.

Ben, who'd also been taken by surprise by the quickness of the attack was fast to recover, now pushing Malak back with a shield of Force energy. He was a shining light beside her, reaching about for balance as he used both light and dark to weave layers of protection around her. She felt him there, sensing his intention and bolstered his power through their connection.

Malak's eyes widened as he stepped back to steady himself, studying the swelling net of shimmering energy before him. The woven energy shield expanded to encapsulate both she and Ben before it steadied. Like a pearl, out of place in the slimy mantle of a clam, the energy glimmered in the dank gloom of the cave, its light reflecting in the furrows and creases of the cavernous walls overhead.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/nQjs1fE.jpg)

Rey hardly dared to breathe as she maintained a delicate balance with Ben, sensing his emotions and his hold on the Force, and matching it as his perfect mirror. A pressure began to build in the air, like an electrical charge slowly filling the space and she could sense the presence of those who had come before. Like a soft light filling the edges of her vision, their energy coalesced. There were no voices of encouragement from the Jedi this time, just an undeniable feeling of solidarity and support. She felt an urge then, to call Malak toward her, to pull him into the balance with them.

Thankfully, it was only a fleeting thought, because as she studied his cruel expression, a pang of fear sliced through the peace. What was she thinking? This was a Sith Lord. She couldn't let him poison the Force. No, he needed to be destroyed.

So, she doubled down on their shield until it pressed closer to Malak, finally forcing him to take a step back.

The Sith Lord was unimpressed, recovering quickly as Rey sensed another wave of cold energy that went far beyond what Malak himself was capable of wielding. She watched him close his eyes, causing whispers in her mind to surge to the surface, and she knew he was pulling from the In-Between. How it was possible, she wasn't sure. But when he lunged forward with his saber, it cut through the layers of protection Ben had knit together like a hot knife through Bantha butter.

She glanced at Ben, saw his brows lower in focus and knew he was wondering how Malak had done it. Together, as two pieces of the Prime Jedi, they should be able to dispatch Malak quickly. What was wrong?

But before either could puzzle this any longer, Malak struck hard across Ben's shoulder, leaving only enough time for him to raise his saber to parry. Ben's white plasma blade spat in protest as though angered by the audacity of Malak's scarlet weapon.

Rey charged then, unable to hold back the rage at seeing Malak come so close to Ben. A fierce, primal instinct to protect him surged from someplace inside of her and she was cutting hard blows down over Malak's head, forcing his weapon up to block.

Immediately, she felt a warmth at her side, ready to balance her anger with love and support. Ben didn't say a word. He didn't have to. She felt him as her perfect half, helping her align herself to where she knew they needed to be.

This was the power of the Bond and before she could slip too far into Darkness, she was wrapped in Ben's Force, anticipating his next move. As a dyad, she could see Ben's intentions, his next strike that would come from Malak's weak side. And in the span of just a few milliseconds, Rey readied herself, positioning her own body to stop Malak's retreating steps.

It worked.

Just as Ben's saber sliced through the air into Malak's side, and he was made to strafe to avoid the blow, Rey was there to cut off his retreat. Malak froze, sweat beading on his forehead as he willed all of his rage, all of his Force to push back against Rey. But her own crimson saber pointing to Malak's neck would not be overpowered, not with the strength of the Dyad and not with the fate of the Force itself teetering on the edge of a precipice.

The only sound for several seconds was the Sith Lord's breath grating through his voice modulator.

 _Rey?_ Ben's questioning voice came through the Bond.

She eased the saber back a few inches, realizing what she was doing. Killing Malak would not solve anything. How would his death restore balance? But if he lived, he would only bring suffering to everyone she loved.

Malak stood frozen beneath her blade, wrapped in the power of the Dyad, unable to move. But his grey eyes darted between she and Ben, glinting with a brutal promise of retribution.

No, he could not be allowed to live.

But she would not execute him either.

There was a third choice.

Rey lifted her eyes to Ben's, her decision now made and she felt, through the Bond, that Ben had been thinking the same thing.

If they were able to travel through the In-Between, perhaps they could open the gateway long enough to push Malak back through. It would only buy them time. Of course, the Sith could eventually find their way back through, but time was exactly what they needed right now.

The Bond between them had transformed in the moments since returning to Ahch-To. Where before it had manifested to Rey as a thin, glimmering thread, requiring her full focus to sense and use to communicate, now it had flourished into a torrential river of thoughts and feelings. She was overwhelmed by the strength and weight of each of Ben's emotions, feeling them as if they were her own.

And when he turned his focus to balance, to the gateway, it was as though her own mind shifted automatically with him, like a sailing skiff blown along by the breeze of his thoughts without any conscious effort. And she used her own Force to strengthen his intention, focusing all of her energy on breaking through.

Something snapped, a rush of Force energy rippling through the underground cavern as she felt the mirror give way, a gash forming in its solid surface. A gateway.

Malak said nothing, his wide eyes and uncharacteristic silence speaking for him as she and Ben dragged his rigid body through the opening with the Force. Malak must have known there was no fighting back, perhaps he could feel the overwhelming pressure of the Dyad around him and submitted, though this was unlikely. The truth was he was probably fighting as hard as he could, but the dual nature of their Force, their balance, was too much for anyone to fight. Even a Sith Lord.

There was no resisting a Dyad. Especially now that they knew what they were, and were beginning to get more practice working together.

One last heave and Malak was hauled through to the In-Between and again, Rey's thoughts merged with Ben's to heal the gash in the mirror to close the portal.

She was breathing heavily by the time she felt the seams of the gateway meld together and knew with some certainty that they'd done it. When she opened her eyes, it was to see Ben Solo staring at her with a familiar wide-eyed expression. It was the same look he'd given her after she'd pulled Anakin's saber from the snow on Starkiller Base. An expression of awed respect.

She could hardly fathom how things had changed so completely since then. Because now, as Ben looked at her like that, she felt no fear, no disgust at the darkness staining his Force signature. She felt only the stirrings of an insistent warmth, like flames licking at her insides, fueling a fire for him that seemed to only grow stronger.

And somehow, even with generations of Sith so close in the In-Between, the remains of the Sith Fleet primed to destroy her friends, and the weight of generations of Jedi expectations on her shoulders, she felt that the problems of the universe could wait.

Everything could wait just one more minute, so that she could steal another kiss from the man she loved. A kiss and maybe something more…

But their lips had hardly touched when they were interrupted by a heavily modulated voice calling from the entrance of the cavern above.

"My Lord, is everything alright down there?"

Rey couldn't help but put a voice to her frustration in the form of a groan.

Ben cupped her cheek as he planted one more chaste peck on her lips.

"Let me guess," Rey said in a whisper, interrupting the words she could see forming on his lips. "You were going to tell me to save that thought?"

"Honestly," Ben said, "I'm not sure how much longer I can save it, myself."


	29. Tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another apology to preface the chapter - I really am so sorry for the slow writing output. But I'm happy to say that I'm feeling much more myself and the next chapter is already more than halfway written! I seem to have my groove back, which bodes well for a timely end to this story!
> 
> I hope everyone has stayed safe and healthy and that this little bit of distraction helps make this pandemic life more bearable. Thank you all so much for your continued encouragement. And a huge thank you to JenniferLadyBug for being so patient with me and for just being amazing in general.

"Everything is fine, commander. We're on our way up now."

Rey could just make out the scraping sound of gammaplast boots against the rocky entrance of the cave above as the Sith Trooper retreated.

She wondered how much time that would buy her as she let her gaze settle onto Ben. Shadows sculpted from moonlight clung to his face, so thick now she couldn't read his expression. His hair was hanging over one eye and his powerful shoulders heaved from exertion. She too, was still breathing hard from the exchange with Malak, her muscles tensed with the adrenaline of battle.

"We have to go back," he said, lifting his chin in the direction of the gateway. "Find a way to seal it off." But Ben was only speaking what she already knew. They needed to find out how to permanently seal the gateways from the World Between Worlds if they wanted to stop the Sith from coming through.

Not only that, they needed to deal with the immediate issue of the Sith Eternal. With the transport waiting for Malak on the surface and the Derriphan orbiting Ahch-To, there wasn't much room to breathe. Captain Sabrond would soon realize Malak's disappearance and come to the surface to investigate.

She nodded. "You're right," she said. "But I've got an idea for them, first." She looked up, indicating the Troopers in the transport on the surface.

Ben stepped forward, the tattered ends of his robe fanning out behind him, rippling the surface of the water as he approached and finally took her hands in his. The touch smoothed over any fear that had bubbled up over the last few minutes. "I've got a few ideas myself." His voice was low, a steady rumbling that filled every hollow place in her soul with warmth.

She smiled and she hoped he could see the love that she felt burning hot inside of her. She wondered if it was as obvious to him as it was to her. She felt it like a fire, consuming the cold and the darkness, leaving her warm and hopeful.

Even amidst the chaos. Rey was actually…

Happy.

She glanced down at his hands wrapped around hers. Hands that had murdered innocents, hands that had held the blade that struck down his father, ripped open her best friend, and met hers in battle. But it was those same hands that had trembled as they reached for her fingertips, hands that had given her more pleasure than she knew possible, hands that steadied her now.

[ ](https://imgur.com/ieFaRaj)

His eyes darted to hers and he stepped closer, sensing the direction of her thoughts.

A tension now buzzed in the thick air around them. Like a wire being pulled taut, the air seemed to vibrate with it. Rey took in a breath, a gulping draught of air as though she'd been underwater.

"You sense it, too," he said.

She nodded.

He hummed his assent, lips pressing together but he did not turn his gaze away from hers. The intensity of him, of their presence together was becoming a tangible thing now as the air itself seemed to call for their embrace.

She was barely able to grate out the next words, moving her feet as though they'd been mired in sludge and pulled Ben along by the hand. "Come on, let's deal with them first."

She thought she heard him grunt an acknowledgment behind her.

Water lapped at their boots and Force continued to hum in her ears as she approached the rope anchored at the cavern's mouth above, painted in moonlight and swaying lightly. It took every ounce of will she had to drop Ben's hand and wrap her fingers around that rope instead. Every course scrape of material against her palm as she climbed reminded her of how much softer Ben's hand had felt in hers, how much she'd rather be touching him.

His energy thrummed behind her, making waves in the Island's Force signature as he followed her out of the cave.

Once on solid ground, Rey climbed the rock shelves back to where the transport had set down, gesturing for Ben to follow her. They scrambled up a few more faces, slickened by the mist that had clung to the island overnight. With the transport in view, Rey pulled on her hood and approached the four Troopers who stood at attention just outside the lowered transport ramp.

The mist was beginning to take on a purplish glow with the coming dawn as Rey addressed the leader bearing the pauldron of an officer on his right shoulder.

"Malak has been transported back to the World Between Worlds," she announced, calling upon the Force to steady her voice. "I need you to patch me through to the Derriphan. I need to speak with Captain Sabrond."

The trooper nodded, flipping open a hidden panel on his gauntlet and tapping a few commands. In moments, the eager voice of Captain Sabrond cut through the silence.

"Captain Sabrond here."

As she spoke, a holoprojection of Sabrond's sharp form materialized before them. More troopers had heard the exchange from the far side of the transport and gathered nearby to watch.

[ ](https://imgur.com/rJ1Dtia)

Rey banished the nervous thoughts that seemed to bubble from within her like a spring _What am I doing? There's no way this is going to work._

She buried those voices. They had no place inside of her anymore. Of course she knew what she was doing. She clung to the balance of the Force and dared to project the power of the Dark Side, the appropriate costume for this exchange, and wore it as a veil over the black tunic Calsyn had given her.

"Captain, it's Rey Palpatine. Lord Malak has been transported back to the World Between Worlds. I am unsure about the mechanism that sent him there, but I've found some clues that indicate meditation on the Shadow may allow me to break through the gateway."

"This is an unfortunate turn of events." Rey didn't like the way her voice seemed to drip with sweetness, it was obviously a show, the sweet cadence just a dressing to hide the malice that lay beneath. Did she suspect Rey was to blame? "What of the other Sith, Mistress Palpatine?"

"The Grandson of Darth Vader was the first to come through," she said. "Kylo Ren will add his strength to the cause." Rey gave Ben a silent look that said _say something._

His jaw clenched uneasily and Rey almost had to laugh at how awkward he looked. The mighty Kylo Ren looked like he could hardly handle telling this little white lie.

But he smoothed over those tells in an instant, becoming Kylo Ren as he regained command over himself and what seemed like all of the physical space around him. Darkness rippled from him and Rey understood, he didn't know how to exude command unless the power came from the Dark Side. She felt him reach out with the Force, tendrils of Shadow thrusting toward the Sith Eternal and each of them stiffened, turning to where Ben stood.

"Mistress Palpatine managed to break through to the World Between Worlds." As Ben spoke, she could see the immediate influence he was having over Captain Sabrond. Her overly sweet smile seemed to melt into something akin to veneration and Rey realized how this must look. Kylo Ren was dead as far as the rest of the galaxy knew. And now he had been resurrected. Even Captain Sabrond could not deny the power it would take to complete such a task. "My mastery over the Dark Side may be of some assistance in restoring the Sith."

Sabrond nodded respectfully.

A ripple of excitement sent gooseflesh erupting over Rey's arms and up the back of her neck. There was something so entrancing about Ben in this moment. The power he radiated, the use of the Dark Side. He was projecting something that made her want to be near him. And it didn't help that the air between them was still so charged with energy, she could swear the others would sense it.

Rey swallowed, trying to clear her mind to address the Captain.

"We were close to unleashing the Shadow and now, The Dark Side has chosen me as its conduit. I am the granddaughter of Darth Sidious and I am the voice of the Sith now, I request that this transport remain here as I work to recover the spirits of the remaining Sith."

At the mention of the Shadow and Sidious, Captain Sabrond's features tightened barely perceptibly. She would follow orders from the closest thing she had to a Sith and at the moment, that was Rey whether Sabrond liked it or not. She was, if nothing else, loyal to the Sith. Ben's show of power had definitely solidified their control.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather investigate from the comfort of the Derriphan? It must be-"

"No – "

Ben had interrupted, taking one large step forward, eyes blazing and Force crackling around him with pure energy. He narrowed his eyes and Sabrond's hand shot to her neck to loosen her collar. But Ben wasn't holding on anymore, it was just the ghost of a touch, a reminder of what they could do if she didn't obey their command.

[ ](https://imgur.com/PATrfWM)

Rey finally exhaled as the Captain spoke, she hadn't recognized she'd been holding her breath.

"Of course, Mistress Palpatine, Master Ren." She seemed to choke on that last word, rubbing her neck and swallowing hard before she continued. "The transport and any other resources you may need will remain for as long as you require. Please let us know how we may be of assistance to your mission."

"Captain, there is one more thing…" Rey glanced to Ben's tattered robes. If they were playing the part of the last of the Sith, he couldn't continue to wear rags. "Patch me through to Calsyn."

* * *

Four hours later, all but two troopers had been sent back to the Derriphan and fresh clothing had been delivered to the transport for Ben.

Now, the troopers had retreated to the cockpit to eat their packaged rations and Ben stood in the main cargo bay, looking at his reflection in the shiny Durasteel door.

How Calsyn had managed to put together such a perfectly tailored outfit in only a few hours was beyond her. She must have connections in every part of the galaxy.

Ben Solo, freshly showered and swathed in black, had made the transformation back to Kylo Ren flawlessly. He'd donned a tunic underneath a long jacket that wrapped asymmetrically across his chest. The jacket accentuated the angle of his shoulders, the cut of his chest and narrow hips before it flared out behind him, hanging down past his knees and trailing behind him in a graceful arc, revealing the coat's red inner lining. The sleeves were lined with black strips of fabric which stuck out at regular intervals, like the spines of a dragon. Leather boots and gloves were the final touches. All he needed was his helmet and he'd be back, at least in looks, to his prior Supreme Leader glory.

[ ](https://imgur.com/5ZlfTga)

Rey felt him reach out through the Force to sense whether the troopers were within earshot before he spoke. The voice that escaped his lips when he finally did speak was completely at odds with the commanding physical presence he projected. "It feels strange to be dressed like this again," he said, his eyes fixed upon his reflection.

"It's just for now," she said. "Besides," Rey said, adding a hint of flirtation to her tone. "I think black is your color."

That got him. She saw the corner of his lip raise up in a smirk.

"Oh really?" he said, cocking his head to study her. His deep gaze demonstrating again, the sheer power he had to make her knees wobble.

"Really."

She didn't have time to be embarrassed by the squeak of her voice, because his arms were around her waist in an instant, pulling her into his chest, and she was struck again by the glorious realness of him. For so long she'd learned to settle for a shadow of Ben Solo, a fragment of his soul he'd managed to project from the World Between Worlds. But here he was, solid and perfect. He was actually _here._

"Force, Rey. I've wanted to do this for so long. Just hold you. Just feel you in my arms."

He breathed deeply, inhaling her as he nuzzled against the top of her head.

She closed her eyes. Letting the scent of him wash over her. Real. _Real._

And he loved her.

"I'm sorry, Ben. I – "

His finger was to her lips before she could finish.

"If anyone should be sorry, it's me. I should have listened to you in the first place. If I would have, if I could have gotten my head out of my ass after killing Snoke, we could have…"

It was Rey's turn to put a finger to his lips.

He smiled around her finger, lips curling up and wrinkling his cheeks, the edges of his eyes.

"Let's just call it even," she said, planting a kiss on her finger and putting it to his lips. "We've got a lot to figure out right now before we go dredging up the past."

He nodded grimly, squeezing her just a little tighter. "A legion of Sith Troopers on the verge of war with our friends. An eternity's worth of Sith waiting to break through and take control of time itself. The only bright side is they're stuck there like I was."

"True, but I worry Malak may find a way to communicate with the Sith Acolytes, and if he does, Captain Sabrond will be the first to know the truth of what happened down there in the cave."

"Can he do that?" Ben asked, puzzled. "I had a hard enough time communicating with you at first, even with the Bond."

"He's done it before. I'm sure of it. Who else could have warned the Sith Eternal that we were on Yavin IV? They destroyed the Great Tree less than a day after we arrived there."

Ben worried at his lip for a while before responding. "Unless what happened on Yavin was as simple as a tracking device."

She shook her head. "That just doesn't fit. When could they have planted it?"

"Even if it was Malak communicating with the acolytes on Yavin, things are different now. He needs you, he needs _us_ to open the gateway again doesn't he? That was the only way any of us could have crossed over."

"I guess, so. Which means killing us is out, but I'm sure he'd be happy to find some new and exciting ways to torture us."

Ben was shaking his head now, brows drawn tight. "He knows we're coming back for him. And he'll be ready. But I don't think he'll risk harming his only way out. Trust me, he's waiting for us. They _all_ are."

Rey inhaled deeply, trying to focus on peace and calm to temper the fear rising in her chest. "Okay, so we might have a little time there, but what about the Sith Eternal? What's stopping them from taking on the Free Worlds Fleet?"

"If they were going to strike they would have already. They are betting on the Sith themselves joining the battle. I think we have a little time there, too." As he reasoned this out, something began to play upon his features. A glimmer at first, but Rey was sure she saw something else hiding underneath the serious façade. A glint of mischief in his eyes, a hint of that roguish smile that always set her insides ablaze.

"What is it?" she asked, knowing full well what he was thinking.

Ben didn't answer right away, but there was no keeping secrets now. The Force was singing his intentions loud and clear. She heard it differently now, where before there had only been one voice like the drone of a far off sublight engine, now there was a harmony. She felt it more potently now, too. Like waves of a calm sea lapping against the shore. A pulse, a rhythm. The balance of life and it was calling her, pushing her toward him. A siren song that she was powerless to ignore.

He was studying her. Those scholarly eyes reading her every expression, sensing her thoughts. And it didn't scare her, because there was a trust there. He understood her in a way no one else could. They were one and the same. Two halves of a whole.

He kissed her then. She was cradled fully in his arms as it was, and he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. The tension in the air was fed by that kiss and the Force seemed to magnify the feeling of his lips against hers, his tongue sweeping hotly into her mouth, his hands running along her waist, her hips.

Her hands were greedy for him, too, wanting to feel the hardness of him, his chest, his shoulders, moving up to rake through his hair. Her body hungered for closeness and she pressed herself against him, using her weight to chase the slightest bit of friction from his thigh as she straddled closer.

He pushed her against that shiny Durasteel door, moving his kisses to her neck, his breath sending a shiver through her, heating her blood until that ache for him was back. A hungry ache. Not the kind she'd been used to after missing a meal on Jakku. No, this ache was a yearning ache, a burning kind of hunger that was only sated by more of him.

It drew a low moan from her that spurred a sudden change in Ben. He held her harder, kissed her more forcefully, his breath was growing more ragged, and he was pressing himself against her hip, hard, harder, until she couldn't think of anything else outside of _him._

 _"_ Force, Rey," he breathed, "You feel so good."

She grunted her agreement as she nibbled kisses against his earlobe.

"I can't think of anything else," he panted.

"Mmm-hmmm." He was moving his hands now down the small of her back to cup the muscular curve of her rear, keeping a greedy massaging rhythm that sent her body rocking against him, chasing that blessed friction. Her heart pounded hard in her chest, her breath coming faster as her entire world became focused on the sensations he was drawing from her.

"Isn't there someplace else, shouldn't we – " Ben's protests were cut short with a sharp intake of breath as Rey shifted her hips, repositioning herself more fully against him, eliciting a ragged whine instead.

The Force was a roar in her ears now, as though this, their closeness, was somehow part of the plan. She felt Ben's pleasure as her hips made a rhythm against his body, felt it in the hardness of him and the urgent hum of the Force in her ears. The electricity of it had the hairs on her arm standing on end as she gripped his coat and pressed her mouth against his.

"Rey," his voice was so hoarse it came out as a whisper and Rey wasn't one hundred percent sure she'd heard him speak at all. She ground herself harder against him, not able to help herself, he felt so kriffing good. "Rey, please," now she was sure she'd heard him, but she didn't pay him too much mind. He was still responding to her kisses, his hands had moved to her breasts and were exploring there now, her nipples strained deliciously against her tunic and she was panting with the need for more of him. Oh yes, she was completely lost in the taste of him and she didn't much care to be found.

Then, suddenly, he was holding her at arms length, using the Force to focus his mind. She was suddenly empty all over, and the ache between her legs was throbbing.

"Errrgh, Ben!" The protest that escaped her lips was more growl than speech.

Now that she could see him, she knew by the flush on his cheeks and neck that he was feeling the same way.

"Rey, either I'm going to have to lay you down on the floor here or we're going to find a more appropriate place for us to lie together."

Standing there trapped in his Force, aching, flushed and so hungry for him, she laughed. He was right, of course. But she was so greedy for him that she'd just about taken him anywhere, even on a transport occupied by Sith Troopers.

He seemed relieved by this series of events. He'd likely been a little frightened by the prospects of interrupting her and now, his shoulders visibly relaxed with her laughter.

Other parts of him, she could see, were not so relaxed. And Ben was nearly writhing with the discomfort of that particular situation, which caused new peals of laughter to erupt from her, echoing through the cargo bay.

"Keep laughing, scavenger, and I'm going to have to punish you."

"I'd like to see you try, Supreme Leader."

"I plan to. Now, would you like to suggest someplace more suitable?"

And even though the Sith were waiting for them in the In Between, and the Sith Eternal were orbiting nearby waiting for orders, Rey felt that the universe and its problems could wait for this. Because even the Force seemed to know that they had waited long enough.

"Come on, I have just the place."


	30. One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We couldn't leave you hanging on too long after that last chapter. So here it is, the moment we've all been waiting for. And over 5000 words, too!
> 
> Also, can we all just take a moment to appreciate JenniferLadyBug and the amazingness that is her art. She's elevated this story to a new level, and the illustrations for this chapter absolutely blew my mind. She's been sketching like a mad woman, inspired by the song "Exist for Love" by Aurora. Please share our story with your Reylo friends, her art deserves all the praise in the world. Drop her some love, and if you haven't commented for a while, let us know you're still reading! Your comments are the best reward you can give for our labor of love <3

The misty curtain hanging over Ahch-To had lifted, making way for the morning suns. Porgs roosted in groups on the rocks, sunning themselves. They dove out of the way as Rey passed, squawking their protests and ruffling their feathers in irritation. She flung her small pack over her shoulder and led Ben up the steep stone stairway toward the southern coast of the island. This was where the caretakers tended several empty dwellings, always prepared for the Jedi to return.

Rey figured they'd remember her. Though she was pretty sure her return would not be celebrated after the damage she'd caused during her last two visits to the island. The first mishap unfolded just as the Bond had opened for the first time and she found herself alone with Kylo Ren. She'd shot him, fully intending to kill him. The blaster bolt had torn a hole in the wall of the stone hut. Then, on her return visit, she'd set fire to his TIE and left the smoldering wreckage for the caretakers to… well… take care of.

Yeah, they might not be too happy to see her again. And now, with what Rey planned to do on this sacred Jedi ground… Well what the caretakers didn't know, wouldn't hurt them.

She turned to shoot Ben a glance. His black jacket flapped wildly in the salty breeze and his hair flowed behind him like the glossy wings of a raven in flight. He smiled up at her. A wide open smile that lit his eyes and suddenly she was weightless, as though the world had dropped out from under her.

Because it had. She had tripped, barely catching herself after losing her footing, the contents of her pack clanging together, echoing off the stony walkway. Ben's gloved hand shot out to steady her, keeping her from tumbling down the stairs. He had cut such a picturesque profile, framed by the verdant cliffs and rocky outcroppings of the island, that Rey was caught staring at him instead of watching her footing.

"Watch your step," Ben teased, releasing his grip on her arm. "I'd hate to have to waste time healing another broken ankle. Or worse."

Even with the fresh air, Rey suddenly felt hot. She took a breath and turned back to focus on the steps to keep from falling to her death but also to hide the embarrassed flush that had surely claimed her cheeks.

Why did he have to be so kriffing attractive?

"What's in that pack anyway?" he said, looking so smug, she was certain he knew what had caused her to trip. "Whatever it was, it sounds like it's in a million pieces now."

Rey ignored his question, trying to focus away from the contents of her bag. It was supposed to be a surprise. So, she attempted to think about something innocent… the ocean, the cute little Porgs, but found her thoughts wandering to their last kiss in the transport. The way his body had felt against hers and she thought about what other parts of him would feel like.

Oh Force.

A deep chuckle behind her and yes, he'd been hearing her thoughts for sure. With how open the Bond had been since they'd passed through the gateway together, that shouldn't be a surprise. The Force still vibrated with their energy and the Bond was a constant barrage of emotions and colors as she tried to put one foot in front of the other.

Step.

Another step.

More steps.

Had there always been so many kriffing steps on this island?

Then again, she'd never walked them with a burning ache between her legs and the man she loved at her heels.

Rey finally took the last step, breathless from more than just the hike. The stone huts were exactly as she remembered, blanched on their western faces from the wind and suns. The temple stood untouched. Even the hut Luke had blown apart when he'd discovered her with Kylo Ren, had been perfectly rebuilt. Everything, the smell, briny ocean and old wood, was the same, bringing her back immediately.

[ ](https://imgur.com/qoUS6uP)

Ben positioned himself next to her and studied the nearest stone dwelling, testing her emotions down the Bond.

She could feel his tug on her, a gentle nudge as he spoke. "This is where you were sitting when Luke interrupted us. The night you came to me."

Something was building again. That thickness in the air, that vibrating energy in Force and she felt she had to yell to be heard above the thunder of it. "Yes."

His eyes darkened, not with anger, but with something else that caused her heart to leap to a gallop. "When we touched hands that night. What did you see?"

Rey turned from him then, needing a moment to retreat from the weightless feeling in her stomach and the roar of blood and Force in her ears. She approached the entrance of the first hut, running her fingers over the weather-beaten stone, closing her eyes. The memory of that night was emblazoned so brightly in her mind, there was no way she would ever forget it.

"I saw us together," she said, finally, turning back to him. "First, I saw you killing Snoke, and then… flashes of us together."

"What kind of flashes?" he asked, those dark eyes promising everything.

"Enough to know we'd be fighting on the same side."

He stepped closer, and his scent, rich leather and earthy musk, joined the salty breeze and she swallowed.

He cocked an eyebrow. "That's all?"

She swallowed again, thickly, still not trusting her voice to be clear. "Well maybe there was more to it, but it's not fair that I have to tell first."

Avoiding his penetrating gaze to keep from jumping on him right that moment, she pulled back the weathered curtain draped in the doorway and peered inside. It was just as she remembered, dusty and furnished with a single bench, but it was the most privacy she could hope for.

Suddenly, around the corner of one of the other dwellings, a trio of Lanai caretakers came into view farther down the path. She ducked under the curtain and pulled Ben into the hut by his coat before they were seen.

"Who were they?" he asked, brushing the curtain aside just enough to peer out at the intruders.

"Caretakers. Nevermind them, they won't bother us," she said, leaning closer and raising an eyebrow. "You were saying?"

He gave her that glorious smirk and blooms of heat spread across her chest. "I saw us together, too," he said. "I wasn't sure what it meant at the time, it was mostly just an overwhelming feeling, but I was convinced you would join me. That you would join the Dark Side."

Her pulse was pounding loud enough to hear now, the anticipation of his touch had set the very air around her in motion. "The Dark Side? What exactly did you see?"

"Well, I saw you wearing this for one," he said, pinching the fabric of her tunic between his fingers. "These aren't exactly Jedi robes."

"And?"

"And then, I'm pretty sure we did something like this…"

And in that moment, Rey wasn't sure exactly what that something was, because the entire world exploded inside of her and in the Force all around. It was as if a flood of emotions and colors and memories was released all at the same time.

And like an explosion, it engulfed each of her senses, until all at once the random sounds and feelings coalesced into something recognizable, and she remembered too.

Yes. This was the kiss she'd felt when they touched hands.

It was unmistakable. The smell – ocean salt and his earthy scent.

The taste of him.

Yes. The crash of the waves in the distance and the rush of the Force, of light and dark and everything in between. This was the feeling she'd had when she'd touched his fingers from across the stars, only then, she hadn't known what it meant.

But now, oh, now it was magnified tenfold because it was real. He was real and the sensation they were gifting each other was so intense, it had made echoes in the Force they'd felt a year ago.

He pulled away from their kiss and gazed down at her. Rays of sunlight streaked into the room through the window, framing him from behind and she could see that all along, the Force did have a plan. The Force had shown them the same vision that night, only they'd interpreted it differently based on their experiences at the time. He thought they would be together in Darkness and she in the Light. And only now, could they finally appreciate that vision, because they had met in the middle.

"I love you, Ben Solo," she said, smiling the most genuine smile she could remember ever giving.

"And I love you," he said, lifting a hand to brush his fingers against her cheek.

He looked down at his hand and shot it a disgusted look before stripping his gloves and tossing them onto the bench.

Then he drew those newly bare fingers across her shoulder and loosened the clasps of her cape. It fluttered to the floor and he met her eyes again, biting his lip, and she could sense his anticipation along with little shocks of nervousness fluttering down the Bond.

He lightly grazed the fabric of her tunic, finding the zipper at the nape of her neck and easing it down. "Now, I want to finally show you how much I love you."

He led her slowly across the room to stand near the bench and brought his hands to her collar, rolling down the fabric until she felt the nip of the cool air against her collar bones. When Rey looked down at Ben's hands, she could see his fingers were trembling.

He was as anxious as she was.

She offered an apologetic look before interrupting him to pull the pack off her shoulder. Then she opened the flap to reveal the contents. One bottle of aged Corellian whiskey and two tall crystal vessels, haphazardly wrapped in a piece of fabric. Miraculously, the crystal hadn't broken during her near fall on the steps despite the loud clatter.

"I sent Calsyn a message while you were in the 'fresher," she explained. "She managed to get this to me. I told her it had been a rough day and I needed a drink to help me sleep before we try to find Malak."

"There's some truth to that," Ben said, taking the bottle in his hands and turning it over. The amber liquid reflected the sunlight, a shade lighter than the eyes studying it. He uncorked it and the spicy tang of alcohol filled the air between them. "This is Corellian stuff. Aged, what? Twelve years?"

She nodded. Of course he would know his liquor. It was the same vintage that Han had preferred, after all.

She held out a glass, urging him to pour the first drink.

As he poured, she felt a sharp pang of sadness down the Bond. For his father, but also for Rey, for those nights Ben had been forced to sit by and watch her drink. Soon, the feeling was joined by other emotions. A tangle of them, as was typical for him.

Her insecurity bubbled up to the surface again as she felt the echo of Ben's intertwined emotions down the Bond until finally, she felt she owed him an explanation and began to stutter out a justification for the whiskey. "I mean, I… I was nervous. I want you so much but I was nervous. And I thought, well, I thought we could share a toast. I know it's not even midday yet, a little early for a drink, so If you think it's stupid we can -"

"No." His brows hung heavy over those expressive eyes and she could hardly look at him, she was worried she had hurt him. "It's not stupid. I'm nervous, too. And hey," he took her chin between his thumb and forefinger and forced her to meet his eyes again. "My dad always used to say, it's five o'clock at some cantina somewhere."

Then she laughed. She tipped her head back and laughed until she could hardly hold the glass in her hand. Whiskey sloshed onto the floor and Ben laughed too, dancing out of the way of the spilling drink, and suddenly everything was easy again.

When her hands had stopped bobbing wildly, she held out the other glass for him, which he filled before corking the bottle and setting it next to the bench. Rey handed one glass to Ben and they both fixed their eyes on the ridiculously fancy crystal, made more ostentatious by the backdrop of a primitive stone hut and dusty bench. But somehow, now, it was all perfect.

Rey raised her glass in the customary way. "I'd like to propose a toast," she said, hooking one hand in Ben's belt and pulling him closer.

"To what, may I ask?" He looked down at her, raising an eyebrow.

"To us. To never being alone again."

And those words had an immediate effect on him. She could feel the pull of memories coming from the Bond, see the realization dawn in those discerning eyes.

"You're not alone," he said, just as he had that night so long ago.

"Neither are you," she replied.

Then they brought their glasses together, the light clink of crystal echoing off the stone walls, and they drank, never taking their eyes off each other. They drank deeply until they'd drained those fancy glasses and Rey felt the familiar bite of Corellian fire running all the way down her throat until it stopped to burn her belly. But this time, she didn't go for another glass to drown her feelings, as she had on Tatooine.

This time, she reached for the man she loved to drown in his affections.

And drown her he did. His lips met hers and before she could find a place to put her glass, he was pulling her towards him, cradling her head with one large hand, burying his fingers in her hair and kissing her hard. He tore the glass from her grip. It clanked against the bottle as he carelessly stowed them at the base of the bench, without ever breaking contact.

At first, his kisses were reckless, forceful and hasty, as if he felt he was running out of time. His tongue still held that sharp bite of whiskey, and as heat bloomed in her belly, he made swift work of pulling her tunic down. She squirmed out of the sleeves, eager to feel his fingers against her bare skin, until she was stripped from the waist up, save for her breast band.

Ben seemed spurred on by the drink as much as she had been, and wasted no time touching her everywhere. As that heat in her stomach began to spread like liquid fire in her veins, she worked his jacket off, needing to feel more of his body against hers.

He grunted as he struggled with his belt, the guttural sound going straight to her groin and the fire was there, too.

Had she ever wanted anything this much?

As he turned to toss his jacket and tunic onto the bench, Rey stared, transfixed by the hard muscles flexing across his bare chest with the simple motion. It wasn't the first time, or even the second or third time she'd seen him bare from the waist up. But the sheer massive size of him was not something she could ignore. His body demanded to be appreciated and appreciate it she did, running worshipful fingers over the defining lines of his pectorals, to the smooth lines and furrows made by his collarbones.

This time, when their lips met again, Rey found his kisses had slowed. His lips seemed to soften, passionate and honey sweet, and he moved his mouth more carefully against hers. He was savoring the taste of her, too. And in that moment, they had all the time in the world.

The Force was a constant building pressure in the room now as Ben stoked her desire with each kiss, each caress of his hand. As he slowly removed her breast band, she felt the energy of Light and Dark begin to press harder against them. As he explored the curve of her breasts, the Force rippled against her skin after each touch, it hummed in her ears after each audible gasp from him. It swelled, expanding into something palpable, an actual pressure against her eardrums.

"Can you feel that?" she finally gritted out as he kissed her neck.

"Yes." And his voice was like gravel in her ear. "If I don't make love to you right now, the Force itself is going to crush me."

She snuffled a laugh into his shoulder and bit down playfully. "Better hurry up then," she teased.

"With pleasure." And with that, he spread his jacket and her cloak onto the stone floor and knelt at her feet, pulling her close to nuzzle her belly as she stood before him. He kissed her in the hollows near her hips while his hands worked to slide her leggings down until she was forced to bend to help with her boots. Her heart was racing, blood and Force crashing in her ears as she stood before him, this time wearing only her underwear.

Then, Ben pulled her by the hips, lowered his head and kissed her. There. Through her slickened underwear he kissed her and she felt him like an electric shock. Hours of pent up need and building desire hit her all at once and she gasped from the intensity of it.

He made a sound, something very non-speech like, but communicating his own desire much clearer than words could, before bringing his fingers to help her shimmy free of the last of her clothing, letting his touch linger at the very center of her need for him.

She exhaled a strained breath, pushing her hips closer, begging for more of his fingers, his mouth.

He looked up at her, eyes gleaming under those dark lashes and she thought he had no right to be so beautiful.

Then without warning, he lifted one of her legs onto his shoulder, spreading her out before him to give himself room to…

"Erhh!" She released a grunting cry of simultaneous surprise and pleasure as those soft lips met her sex and began to move in a slow, indulgent caress. She rolled her hips forward, unable to keep from chasing the exquisite sensation.

When she nearly fell over from sheer bliss, the familiar signature of his Force wrapped around her. Dark tendrils of power and desire, warm trails of light and love, and he cradled her there, right where he wanted her, as his hot tongue began to unravel that tightly-wound knot of desire at her core.

[ ](https://imgur.com/Jkvtbm7)

And like a skiff in a stormy sea, she let herself be carried away by the pleasure.

Soon, she realized, she was coming close to a place of no return and she gripped him by the hair and pulled him away. "No," she said. "I want…" But her voice wasn't working, so she tried through the Bond.

_I want to come together._

He hesitated, staring into her eyes defiantly, but when she pushed against his chest, and he pretended to collapse backward onto the floor, she knew she had won. He could be stubborn, but she knew he would always give her what she wanted.

So, with liquid-heat burning between her legs, nearly unable to think for the intensity of it, she climbed down onto him. Pants still hanging onto his waist, she straddled him and rocked herself against him until she was sure his own desire would put a hole through his trousers. She nearly laughed at this thought as she ground down on him, but with the fabric chafing at her sensitive inner thighs she couldn't keep it up long enough to find out for sure. A swift Force pull and some maneuvering by both of them and he was finally as naked as she was.

The only light spilling into the room, came through a high window on the other side of the hut. But even the indirect morning light was enough to give her a full view. And Ben Solo was large.

She remembered touching him under the Great Tree, marveling at the smoothness of him, of how he felt in her hand, but she'd never thought about how he would actually fit inside of her.

Until now.

Kriff.

But that thought was fleeting, quickly becoming entangled in her swirling thoughts, in the whiskey heat dancing in her veins, and in the need to be closer to him. And when he looked up at her, with those warm, adoring eyes, she couldn't remember what she'd been thinking about at all as she lowered herself onto him. The searing press of his flesh against hers was enough to set her hips in motion and her body simply took over.

She centered herself onto him, so wet now, that she found she could glide up and down against him, drawing so much perfect sensation from this motion she wondered how having him inside of her could possibly be better than this. In pursuit of something to sate the ever-growing hunger inside of her, she ground a rhythm with her hips, watching his face contort into a dozen beautiful combinations of pleasure below her. Meanwhile, the Force was a constant presence, spurring her on, pressing her down harder, choosing her rhythm as they became closer and closer.

But soon, even this wasn't enough. She could feel Ben's frantic breath against her ear, his needy hands massaging her, but underneath it she felt the rhythm of his thoughts in the Force, asking for more. And she agreed, sending echoes of her readiness for him down the Bond, because even pressed flush against each other, they still weren't close enough.

In a show of physical strength that sent a carnal shiver through her, he lifted her off of him, and flipped her over. Gently, but so fast, she didn't have time to protest at the loss of contact because he was back against her already.

He held himself up by the elbows and gazed down at her. And suddenly, all the air was sucked out of the room, like an airlock left open in the dead of space, and the Force went quiet. It was just the two of them, their bodies screaming for each other, their breath mingling, minds completely entwined as the universe slipped into repose.

"Rey..." And that was all he said, all he really had to say. Words were unnecessary as his eyes spoke his devotion much more clearly than anything he could ever say. And he continued to gaze down at her as he eased her legs apart with a gentle touch and took himself in hand, guiding himself toward her entrance.

She hissed, a sharp intake of breath as he stretched her to a delicious place between pain and pleasure.

"I'm sorry," he said, faltering, and she almost screamed as he began pulling out again. But she caught his hand in hers instead, bending down to take him in her own hand, showing him that she still wanted this, still wanted him.

[ ](https://imgur.com/EWUZL8k)

She was so wet, so pliant and ready for him, that the need for him far outweighed any small twinge of pain. And so slowly, she showed him how to claim her fully. And with her reassurance, inch by inch he sheathed himself completely inside of her. He relaxed from his elbows, allowing some of his weight to rest on her, and she relished the burning stretch of him inside of her, the way he completely filled her, his comfortable weight pressing down, making her feel absolutely _whole_.

And she whispered what she could of her pleasure, into his ear. "You feel so good."

A tremor went through him that she could feel in her delicate inner walls, and he didn't have to speak to tell her this was exactly what he needed, too. The universe picked up its rhythm again and the Force began to hum once more, that pressure returning to the air around them and Ben started to move.

Slowly at first, so slowly it was agonizing because as soon as she realized this was exactly what she needed, she wanted him to move faster, but still, he rocked gently, at that same leisurely pace.

With the Bond wide open, she knew he could feel everything he was doing to her, yet he continued to move agonizingly slow. Shockwaves of his feelings flowed down their connection and she felt his pleasure, he was so close to coming apart inside of her. And she understood then, he was going so slow to keep from climaxing too soon.

She reached a hand out to rake her fingers through the hair hanging down over his eyes. His lips were pressing together in concentration, the muscles in his neck and shoulders standing out, cutting grooves in his pale skin.

And her only thoughts were - _Was this real? Was he really hers?_

Force, he felt so good, but she needed him to touch her, too.

She tried to shift them sideways, keeping him inside of her, to free up one of his hands. Moving as one gave her such a perfect sensuous fullness, she couldn't stop herself from rocking her own hips against him and he sucked in a breath.

With his newly freed hand, he explored her curves, moving his fingers luxuriously over her skin, to her breasts, then rolling a sensitive nipple between his fingers.

He bent to take that nipple in his mouth next, making slow circles with his tongue, and she was sure the inferno he'd started within her would consume her completely. A hundred flashes of light exploded across her vision as she felt herself drawing closer to some fated destination.

As she rocked her hips to meet his slow pumping movement, his rhythm intensified. And soon, he was thrusting in and out of her, taking her closer, closer and she was on her back again, her hands haphazardly grasping at his shoulders to pull him near.

He kissed her, tongue sweeping into her, claiming her even as his body did the same, over and over building something ancient, as the Force sang along to the sacred hymn of their bodies. She moaned his name into his ear, begging him for more. More of him. Faster. Closer. Just _MORE._

A swirl of darkness curled wisps of ice around them and Rey shivered. She rocked her hips hard to meet his, begging for his warmth to balance the Darkness she'd pulled from the Force. She felt him grasp for it, the Light, wrapping it around them gently in perfect Balance. The weight and pressure of the Force, the Light and Dark, the ice and the heat of it spurred the thrust of his hips and complimented the taste of his soft lips against hers, Gods she was completely unravelling.

And as he drove himself inside of her one more time, she felt the world fall away as she was swept up by currents of pleasure. All the heat and hunger dissolving into ribbons of pure brilliance. She cried out against his mouth and felt him bite down on her lip. Her inner walls clenched and released as he shuddered inside of her, streaming heat as an explosion of Force surrounded them.

One. They were one.

And she floated there, in a place between worlds. A place both outside of her body, but also closer somehow to a new physical awareness. Joined with the man she loved.

[](https://imgur.com/lyHGpVA)

He thrust into her a few more times, drawing out every last bit of pleasure from her until her shaking had stopped and she was well and truly spent. He went limp, looking every bit as satisfied as she felt as he lowered himself onto her again, still inside of her.

They stayed there, listening to their breath mingle, hearts pounding against each other's chests, Force ebbing and flowing in alternating waves of Light and Dark. A pulse, their heartbeat in the Force.

And Rey sensed, something had changed.

"Wow." Her voice sounded pitifully fragile and meaningless in the face of that monumental something that had just passed between them.

But still, he chuckled, kissing her as if for the first time, making her stupid 'wow' seem like the most majestic, most meaningful expression of love in the entire Galactic Basic language.

When he finally pulled out of her, she wanted to scream from the emptiness he left behind. But he gathered her in his arms and held her, folding her back against his chest.

Then he whispered into her ear. "I would spend a thousand years in the In Between to share that with you again."

And she'd never known what people meant when they said their hearts "melted." What a stupid expression. She'd thought such proclamations silly in those sappy holovids Rose liked to watch. But under the strength of Ben's words, her chest grew so hot, so heavy with love for him in that moment, that it truly did feel like her heart was melting.

"I love you so much," she said.

"You're my everything," he replied, combing his fingers through her hair rhythmically until she felt her heart slow to its normal pace, fully relaxed and completely content.

And they lay there, watching the dust motes float lazily across the band of sunlight streaming through the window, as the suns rose higher in the sky outside.

"Something changed, didn't it?" she finally asked.

"I think so," he said.

She couldn't explain it, and she wasn't sure he'd be able to either. But she needed him to try.

"What does it mean?"

"I'm not sure..." he began his thought, but trailed off.

She turned to face him again, needing to confirm that what she'd heard in his voice was visible on his features. Yes, there was that scientific gleam in his eye as he puzzled over a problem, that fidgeting way he chewed on the inside of his cheek. And she was no longer able to keep her fingers from tracing across his jaw, from touching those kiss-swollen lips. "But… you have some idea? Of what that was?"

"I do," he said.

"And?" she prompted, trying to spur him to talk more by running her fingers over his shoulders, the curve of his biceps.

He sighed contentedly and continued, "Do you remember what the Father said about the Prime Jedi?"

"Yes, Dark and Light must live together, find balance," she said.

He nodded and leaned in to kiss her gently as though he couldn't help himself and continued on. "Two that are one."

And suddenly, the pressure of the Force, the strange swirling Darkness, the automatic grab for the Light, for balance, and their joining. It all seemed to make sense. A greater purpose. And she remembered what she'd thought immediately after they'd reached that blissful climax together. The immediate thought she'd had was that they'd become…

"One."

And as their voices spoke in unison, out loud and through the Bond, she was sure she could feel the word echo across the centuries.


	31. Pulse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your continued support and lovely comments on the last chapter! I'm so glad you liked it 😉 Can you believe we are nearing the end of this fic? I haven't got an exact chapter count, but I suspect 3 more plus an Epilogue unless something on my outline goes longer than expected. The next update will be 2-3 weeks from now, as our wonderful illustrator JenniferLadybug has her dissertation due and will need all of her time to focus on that! Say hi to her on Twitter @owbensolo

* * *

Rey cracked open her eyes, not by choice, but to investigate the gnawing ache in her hip and the uncomfortable something stuck to the back of her legs. When she saw the huge, naked man half sprawled across her, his weight pressing her into the stone floor, she remembered.

They'd fallen asleep.

She squirmed underneath him, dislodging the sticky mess of discarded clothing she'd been sleeping on before trying to readjust Ben's arm. He was all dead weight as he snored on, lightly.

She took the time to study him then, wanting to memorize him just like this. He was a tangle of impossibly large limbs, sprawled in every direction. His face seemed younger, more boyish when it was relaxed like this, without the sharpness of his eyes or the wrinkle of his brooding brow. His full lips rested slightly open, beckoning her to kiss him awake.

She cuddled closer to him and did just that, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth, then nibbling gently on his bottom lip until she got a response.

He groaned, stretching languorously, and gathered her even closer against him, nestling her into the hollow between his neck and shoulder.

Gods, this was perfect. She had no idea how long they'd slept, but she couldn't remember a time when she'd slept more soundly. And she was pretty sure she never wanted to leave this hut again.

She watched the rise and fall of his chest, basking in the waves of contentment radiating down the Bond and flowing underneath it all - that pulse. Their pulse. Light and dark in an alternating rhythm. That heartbeat in the Force that was their new signature. And she nuzzled closer, smiling against his warm skin, inhaling his scent and letting their song lull her back to sleep.

[ ](https://imgur.com/Qs0FDqq)

His low, rumbling voice brought her back to reality. "We should really go save the galaxy now."

"Five more minutes," she whined.

His chest bounced with a laugh and he squeezed her close, kissing the top of her head.

"I feel the same way, I've never slept so good. How long were we out?" he asked.

She turned her head to look for the sunbeam that she'd used to track the time, but it was gone. It had travelled the length of the hut, and now the suns' glow had taken on a more orangey hue outside the window.

"Several hours I'd say, it's late afternoon already."

"Mmmmm." He nuzzled close, his breath tickling her ear. "We needed the rest." And she could hear the teasing lilt in his voice.

"Among other things," she said, creeping her hands across his chest, following the ridges of his abdomen, then tracing a feather-light trail down to his navel.

"Don't start something you're not prepared to finish," he warned.

"Oh, don't you worry. I'm fully prepared," she said.

"Frisky little felinx."

And Rey pulled herself onto him, straddling across his stomach, fully intending to smother him with kisses, but wincing as her legs stretched, finding she was more sore than she thought she would be.

She awkwardly draped her leg back over him and crawled in against his side.

He wrinkled his brows in concern. "You alright?"

"A bit sore."

"I'm sorry."

But Rey didn't miss that faintly self-satisfied tweak of his lip and promptly smacked him with the wadded-up tunic at her side.

"You little…" she started to scold him, but she couldn't completely hide the half-smile lurking underneath her frown. And since this obviously meant he wasn't really being chastised, Ben laughed again.

"You'd actually enjoy seeing me walk funny all afternoon wouldn't you?" she accused.

When his only response was biting down on his bottom lip to keep from laughing again, she pushed him away. "You're insufferable."

"Too bad you're stuck with me," he said, wrapping her tightly in those massive arms of his and pulling her close. "You could let me try to heal you _there_ ," his voice a low purr in her ear, "that could be fun."

She feigned indignation and pretended to struggle against him, but eventually, she let him win their play fight and settled against him. They shared a look then. The kind of deeply connected gaze that made her heart ache for its perfection. This was what could be hers. More of these moments, if they could find a way to permanently deal with the Sith.

She sighed, a long, ragged breath, and closed her eyes.

"How are we going to do this?" she asked.

"Well, it seemed easy enough last night," he began, that wicked gleam in his eye, "you see, I just get you all worked up and then I put my –"

"You really are impossible," she said, shaking her head.

"I know."

And just like that, a shiver in the Force, and the weight of anxiety crept across her skin, pressing down on her and she struggled to fill her lungs with a full breath. Ben squeezed her shoulder and she knew he felt it, too. Because they'd had a taste of what their life could be like together. Of how they might talk when there was no one else around. Of how it would feel to be always loved and protected.

And they knew they would have to fight to keep those things. They couldn't put it off any longer.

Ben sat up, and she could see those gears were turning as he began puzzling through this monumental problem. And she wondered if they'd made a mistake by sending Malak back to the In Between. Because now, all the Sith would be expecting them. There would be no element of surprise.

Unless…

"There are two vergences on the island," Rey said, suddenly, pushing herself to sit, too.

"But we don't know where the other is." He was shaking his head. "We've only found the one at the cave."

"What if the Force has been trying to show us all along?"

Ben knitted his brows, then, slowly his eyes widened as his thoughts caught up to hers.

"Can you hear that?" she asked, closing her eyes.

And they listened. To their pulse, their heartbeat as one in the Force. What had weighed on them earlier as a constant pressure, a ceaseless roar in their ears, had transformed into something new. Something more unified in sound. The signature of the Prime Jedi.

"Yes. Now I can hear it loud and clear," he said.

And they both lifted their heads to peer out the window at the clear blue sky, instinctively reaching out to hold each other, to intensify the oneness of their Force signature.

The pulse was louder, now.

"Where's it coming from?" he asked.

"I think I have an idea," she said. "But let's go find out for sure."

Rey leaned over, wincing a bit as she fumbled for her clothing. Everything was dusty, but she was able to pound out most of the dirt and look decent enough. All except her cloak, that mess would have to be left behind. Ben dressed, too, and in a moment, they were out in the afternoon suns, crossing the stony pathway towards the source of that timeless rhythm only they could hear.

She had to fight the urge to grab his hand to strengthen their connection, but just in case someone was watching from above, it was best to stay neutral. Even with the dampened sound, the pulse in the Force was unmistakable and they followed it, stepping in tune to that unmistakable siren song until they stood before the Jedi Temple.

The twin suns gilded the cavernous entrance. Cut from jagged stone, it seemed to yawn open like a giant toothy maw. Light spilled into the entry, reflecting like pools of liquid gold at their feet and as soon as they'd reached the shelter of the temple, she grasped for Ben's hand and listened.

He closed his eyes and she could feel his reach in the Force, toward the intertwining strands of energy connecting all life. She lent him her focus and joined him, as one.

Then they started moving, stepping together to the time of their heartbeat, not needing their eyes to know where they were going.

In that moment it was as if they'd always known, and they crossed the temple to the base of the mosaic pool depicting the Prime Jedi.

She remembered the mosaic clearly. The figure of the Prime Jedi was composed of inlaid stones in both white and black. Created in a meditation pose, the stones were arranged so that half of the figure's body was Light and the other half Dark, to symbolize Balance.

Ben stared down into the pool, wide-eyed. "This is it."

And there was no doubt about it, because their Force signature was thumping so loudly she could hardly hear his voice. Where the water had begun to ripple as they approached, it was now sloshing against the edges of the pool, spilling over the tiles onto the dusty floor.

Ben was chewing his lip now, staring off over her shoulder. "Balance. This is all about balance."

She nodded.

"When we fought Malak in the cave, do you remember what happened?" he asked.

"I do."

Rey thought back to every moment of that battle, reaching out with her feelings until one particular memory was sifted apart from the rest. She imagined reaching for that memory and grasped it. It was the one time during that fight that she'd felt the Force call her to do something, but she hadn't listened. She'd been too afraid. It had asked her to pull the Sith Lord closer. To grasp for him and pull him into balance. She didn't fully understand what that would accomplish, and she'd been afraid to find out. So, they'd pushed Malak through the gateway instead.

She heard Ben's sharp intake of breath and knew they were sharing this memory together.

After a long moment, they both opened their eyes.

Ben spoke first, his voice calm and focused. "I think, if we go back through this gateway, our gateway, into the World Between Worlds, and we…" he trailed off.

 _And do what?_ They were both still thinking. Rey focused on the memory again, turning it over, thinking back to everything else she'd learned since discovering the World Between Worlds. It was like trying to weave every thread of every thought and memory she'd had into some kind of meaningful tapestry, some greater vision the Force was trying to help them achieve.

A thought surfaced, something she hadn't considered for some time.

"The last line of the Grey Jedi Code," she said. "Do you remember?"

"The Force is all things and I am the Force," he said as if he'd rehearsed it a thousand times, and he probably had. She remembered their conversation about the Grey Jedi code when they'd spent the night together on the Falcon.

She watched the water ripple across the mosaic, further muddling the contrast between the light and dark stones. "We can't be afraid of the Sith. They are using the same Force we are. And we have to listen to the Force no matter what it tells us."

"Balance. The Force does not belong to the Jedi or the Sith. The Force is all things," he said.

"And the last line of the Jedi code?" she asked.

"There is no death; there is the Force," he answered.

As she stood gazing into the rippling water, Ben adjusted his hold on her hand, interlacing their fingers together. And as her fingers spread to make room for his, she looked down at the mosaic of the Prime Jedi. She knew Ben Solo, body and soul. She knew who he was and who he had been, in this life and in the last. And now, they would follow the will of the Force as one, through time itself to answer the call of destiny.

He turned to face her then and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her hand. A simple gesture that spoke to her of how much she was cherished, of how he would do anything for her. A kiss that promised they were going to be okay.

[ ](https://imgur.com/7sKQFiC)

She could only trust that he was right.

* * *

As they'd stood staring at the mosaic, their stomachs had growled in unison, interrupting grander plans and insisting they solve the simpler problem of finding something to eat first. And no matter how much Rey wanted to just finish this right now, Ben had logically pointed out the fact that they needed their strength. They weren't sure exactly what the Force would call them to do once they went through the gateway, but they knew they would need to be physically ready.

Besides grabbing some food, they could attempt to reach out to their friends. If they made an encrypted transmission on the transport's comm system, they could avoid confrontation with the Sith Eternal and give her friends an update regarding their plans. Rey had also decided it might be wise to check in with Captain Sabrond, to let her know she was rested and planned to resume contact with Malak. To buy more time.

So, they'd made their way back down to the transport, finding it difficult not to touch each other as they took the stairs side by side. Every brush of the back of their hands magnified that pulse behind them, as the Force tried to guide them back to the Prime Mosaic.

Soon. Soon this would all be over.

The transport door was closed when they returned, so Rey approached, pounding on the hull of the ship, hoping one of the Troopers would open the door. The sound rang loudly against the surrounding cliffs, and she repeated the motion.

No one answered.

"Maybe they fell asleep?" she said.

"Doesn't matter," Ben said, lifting a hand and manipulating the inner door controls. The release hissed and the ramp lowered to the ground with a dull thump.

Rey boarded the transport, heading straight to the supply hold to grab a few ration packets. She tossed one to Ben and he tore into it with his teeth and pulled out a veg-stick. He gave it a very brief, suspicious look before hunger won over and he tore off a bite.

Rey did the same as she made her way to the cockpit. She'd half expected to find the troopers here, sleeping on the job, but the entire ship was strangely empty.

"Probably changing shifts," Ben said.

She shrugged, still chewing on her veg-stick, which she'd decided was like trying to ingest fossilized seaweed.

She reached out with her feelings to see whether she could sense someone nearby. "They're nowhere near."

Ben swallowed the last of the greenish meat substitute and went for the tube of nutrient paste. "Gods, I hate this stuff."

He made an adorably disgusted face as he choked it down.

She shook her head, trying to focus. First, scanning the sensor array to ensure there were no communication devices already open to the Derriphan. She swept her eyes across the entire cockpit and, finding nothing, felt safe sharing her plans out loud.

"Okay, I'm going to try to get through to the Falcon. If I encrypt it on an alternate channel, it should take the Sith Eternal at least a few days to try to decipher it if they stumble upon it. But by then, we'll hopefully be through dealing with the Sith."

"Alright, what are you going to say?"

"I don't know – 'We're alright, we're here on Ahch-To and will be going back to the World Between Worlds to deal with the Sith. Please be careful of the Sith Eternal Fleet. We don't think they will risk an early confrontation but be on the lookout'." She glanced back to Ben, "Anything else I missed?"

"Not that I can think of," Ben said, pausing to stare at her lap. "You gonna eat that?" He pointed to her nutrition tube.

"Do you want it?"

"Not really, but I'm starving."

"Worked up an appetite, did you?" she said, giving him a wink.

"You could say that. Though, I could really do with one of those nuna drumsticks you spoke so highly of." He closed his eyes, looking like he'd just left this universe for a much more pleasurable alternate reality where the food didn't come dried or in plastiflex tubes.

She laughed. "If you're that bad off, we could see if we can pressure Calsyn into making another delivery."

"No, no. I'll just have to make do. But when this is all over, I'm taking you out for some drumsticks."

"That sounds amazing," she said.

But he was still staring at her, "So?" He said, gesturing to the tube.

"Enjoy," she said, handing it over. She watched him tip his head back and push the plunger to expel the nutrient paste. She curled her lip in disgust as he began to suck down the blue goo, before eventually turning back to the control console to begin typing in a message, running it through the encryption protocols.

"There's gotta be something else on this ship to eat besides those," he said. "I'm going to go look."

"Good luck," she said.

She heard his heavy footfalls meander up and down the halls, the cargo bay, the storage closets. Doors opened and closed as she finished typing and encrypting the message. She read it through one more time and sent it off with a press of her finger.

A red light blinked angrily on the console.

_Message failed_

"What in the – "

She was just about to retrace her encryption codes when a voice came through the comm.

"Mistress Palpatine, Master Ren, this is Captain Sabrond."

Ben was back with another dried ration pack in hand, gnawing at a second dehydrated stick of "meat substitute."

"We copy, Captain. Go ahead."

"I regret to inform you that your friends will not be able to receive any messages."

She felt the blood drain from her face and she looked to Ben on instinct. His veg-stick made a hollow thwack as it struck the floor.

"Lord Malak has made contact and informed us of your treachery."

Kriff. _Kriff._

"You have exactly one hour to open that gateway and bring Malak and the Sith through. If you fail to complete this task, Lord Malak has instructed us to begin execution of your friends one by one."

Static filled her ears and she wondered if she was passing out. But soon, the static was replaced by Finn's panicked voice. "Rey, no. No don't listen to them. Don't do it. We'll be – "

More static as his voice was cut off.

Holo images filled the cockpit's viewport. The Free Worlds Fleet was surrounded on Mon Calamari. What remained of the First Order had positioned itself on one side and the Sith Eternal had encircled the other. There were so few of their allies _._ Why were there so few? What had happened? Then another holo, the Falcon being drawn in by a tractor beam. Then another flash, a frame of black, before an image coalesced from a blurred outline. Sith Troopers took shape, armor gleaming, blaster rifles pointed at the heads of four prisoners on their knees. One was a Wookiee.

Her stomach dropped as the world lurched.

No. No. _No._

"One by one, Mistress Palpatine. Lord Malak has decided that your Force sensitive friend will be the first to be executed."

Ben was standing now, tendons standing out in his neck as he barked an order at Sabrond. "You tell Malak he is in no position to be making demands, he –"

"Tell him yourself," said Captain Sabrond, her voice like the crack of a vibro-whip. "You have one hour."

* * *

P.S. If you're hungry for more Reylo writing a la sweetestcondition, check out my new fic, A canonverse AU that spins off from the Rise of Kylo Ren comics. I wanted to answer the question, "what if Rey was already a Knight of Ren when Ben came to join them?" It's a dark, slow burn with plenty of angst, but of course, I do have a happy ending rule I need to follow. Check out [Knighted HERE!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25740331/chapters/62505853)


	32. Sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your continued support for this story! Let's congratulate Jenn on finishing her dissertation, yay! And give her another congrats for more than 100 illustrations for this story so far! Amazing! She's on Twitter at owbensolo ... I'm on twitter too, at ErickaO - Come say hi!
> 
> Next update probably in another two weeks, I don't have the chapter started yet and things are crazy at my place. We have friends living with us who were evacuated in the California Creek Fire which is out of control right now. The smoke is so bad here we can't see the sun. Is 2020 over yet guys?
> 
> Seriously, but writing is the bright spot in my life right now, so thank you as always for your comments and support for this story. It means so much.

They ran.

Rey grabbed Ben's hand and they ran.

From the cockpit, they pounded the door release and sprinted down the loading ramp into Ahch-To's briny sea air.

Back to the Temple. To the Mosaic of the Prime Jedi.

One hour. They had one hour.

The island was a blur. The stony path, the steps to the Temple, Ben's panting breaths at her side, the suns, the cliffs. It all bled together. A mass of color and sound that pulsed to the crash of her heartbeat and Rey was drowning.

The only solid thing, the only thing truly keeping her afloat, was Ben's warm hand in hers.

And she clung to him, and he to her until they stood, shoulders heaving, breath rasping an echo throughout the temple, staring into the mosaic pool.

The water rippled in their presence, beckoning them to cross over.

"If we go straight for the Sith, try to defeat them for good, Sabrond will just execute our friends in an hour anyway," Rey said, gazing into the water, feeling more desperate with each passing second. "Kriff, she could be sending the order right now for all we know."

The burn of tears stung behind her eyes, clouding her vision as she tried to focus on... what? The mosaic? No, that didn't matter. There was nothing to focus on. No plan. No way out. Gods, how could she have come so far and still have no idea where she was going?

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/X8VaPJm.png)

"But if we bring the Sith through like she asked, Sabrond will kill them anyway." Ben's frown lines deepened as he continued to gaze at the mosaic. "You know their word means nothing."

Rey could scream. She remembered feeling this helpless once, just before she'd taken Malak's hand and followed him back to the Derriphan. But then, she'd thought she had no choice, she thought she was alone.

Well, she sure as hell wasn't alone anymore.

Ben squeezed her hand as though riding the waves of her thoughts alongside her.

No. She wasn't alone and she didn't have to grasp for the darkness to change her destiny. She had Ben, the other half of her soul, and she trusted that the Force, who had brought them together, would show them the path to take.

So, what choice did she have but to join Ben in expanding the reach of their senses? To cast about as one to try to feel for their pulse in the Force and let it guide them?

"What can we do but listen?" she said.

As if in agreement, Ben reached out next to her, pitching the net of his emotions into the unknown, into the mosaic pool and beyond. She joined him, feeling for that sound, that beckoning cadence of the Force. Once she caught the hint of it, she let herself fall into its rhythm. And like immersing herself a warm bath, her muscles relaxed. Racing, panicked thoughts slowed to a trickle of consciousness, leading to one fated destination, an overwhelming _instinct._ A golden thread of light pulling at her mind causing her to focus on one thing.

One person.

"Finn." Ben whispered his name just as she saw Finn's face in her mind.

Ben was shaking his head. "I don't understand, what can we do for Finn from here?"

"Trust the Force," she said. "We didn't before, we can't make the same mistake."

His brows creased with worry, regret swimming in his eyes. "I spent my whole life fighting against the Force, fighting against myself, and all it got me was pain. The moment I let everything go, resigned to who I was and who the Force wanted me to be. I was rewarded." And when he squeezed her hand, Rey knew what he considered that reward to be. "So, you're right, of course. We listen."

And with his warmth beside her and their lovethe chorus down the Bond, they extended their feelings across the web of interconnected life all around and stepped into the pool. They reached farther for the image of Finn they had seen a moment ago, trusting the Force to make sense of everything when they could not.

Streaks of light burst from the pool at their feet. Ribbons of energy twined around them and Rey was weightless as they left the mosaic behind, twisting and careening headlong through a vacuum of endless nothing. All the while she let her senses drift ahead of her, joining with Ben's to guide their way through the infinite blackness of space and time.

And in the span of what could have been seconds or years, a distance of inches or light years, they stood together in the World Between Worlds looking upon an unexpected scene frozen before them.

Like a cross-section in time, the figures facing them stood motionless. Darth Malak, Darth Nihilus, and Darth Maul, three specters in black all wielded their sabers in battle against…

Herself.

It was Ben and herself, frozen in time. Vestiges of their past selves locked in battle with the Sith. Finn stood alongside them, clutching the injury at his side, his face frozen in a pained grimace. It was moments before they had sent him back through the gateway.

Seeing her own face petrified in an expression of fury, reflecting the glow of her saber as she faced off against the Sith, was a shock to her system. Dark circles, clenched jaw, wild stance – she had fallen to the darkness already. It was obvious enough staring at herself in this moment that she was lost to her own rage.

And she couldn't look away. For several minutes, they stared silently, unable to turn away from this motionless slice of history.

As they stood in rapt attention, an otherworldly, melodic hum materialized from the silence. Swirling wisps of sound coalesced from the air itself and formed a voice like a thousand stringed viols, rising in harmony to fill the dark void of the In Between.

_You have finally heard us, Prime._

Ben's lips parted in surprise. "Who are you?"

 _We_ are _the Force._

And when Rey and Ben reached further, casting themselves into the Force as one, the echo of that voice's meaning burrowed deep into their minds, into the Bond, embedding itself into their joint consciousness.

 _We are the Whills,_ it said.

The Whills. Yes, Rey remembered. When she'd studied those ancient texts, the Journal of the Whills had been among them. The Whills - those immortal beings who bore the Force itself. They used the midichlorians inside each Force sensitive being as their conduits, to control destinies, to create life. For millennia, the Whills were worshiped as the Force itself. There were even practitioners of the Force who were called the Guardians of the Whills.

The text had explained that it didn't matter what a person called themselves - a Jedi, a Guardian of the Whills, a Sith, because every living thing was no more than a vessel for the Whills.

_What do you know of us?_

"Please help us," Rey said, "We don't have much time. Our friends are going to be executed in an hour."

The voices laughed, like a tinkling of those thousand viols being plucked all at once. _There is no time in this place, Prime. Because of the journey you have made in becoming the Prime and gaining the Sight, we can speak through you, work through you. And therefore, you are no longer slaves to the passing of time._

Understanding dawned like a bright sun, illuminating parts of her mind she didn't know were there. A place without time. Unlimited possibilities and she could hardly wrap her thoughts around it. In that moment, she realized the limits set upon her by her own humanity and she was overwhelmed by the vastness of life she'd never known.

_I ask again, what do you know of us? Of how you came to finally earn the Sight?_

Then, Ben was speaking up, like the dutiful student he was. "From the Journal of the Whills chapter seven verse four hundred seventy-seven…

"First comes the day  
Then comes the night.  
After the darkness  
Shines through the light.  
The difference, they say,  
Is only made right  
By the resolving of gray  
Through refined Jedi sight."

And Ben recited the quote like only the star pupil in class could, with infallible confidence, every syllable timed to perfection.

_Finally, Ben Solo, you see what we have been trying to show you for so many years. We brought your grandfather into being, to begin the important work of restoring balance. You will help finish that work. And you, Rey… Alone you were unable to understand, but together, as the Prime, you see._

_As One you have earned the Sight. You are the Prime Jedi, re-formed. You are Revan and Bastila, reborn. You have become Light and Dark, unified. Therefore, Time and Space are nullified._

As the Whills spoke the last word, something separated inside of Rey. A great fissure between herself and her body that was growing, spreading, widening until she felt herself disconnect completely from her body. She was lifted away from physical sensations, away from the niggling concerns of her human form and she drifted up. Up into a blanket of whisper-thin threads, a web of infinite knowledge that held her weightless in its embrace.

And as she floated there, a reel of racing images unwound across her mind. Pictures, moments in time spilled into her vision and she experienced an endless cycle of millions upon millions of births. Mothers pushing, blood and fluid staining each birthing floor, each bed, babies screaming from their mothers' wombs. Wrinkled, infants crying and hiccupping on their first breaths. And interspersed between the births were the same number of deaths. Some agonizing, some peaceful. A grey-haired woman's hand relaxing in her husband's grasp, her pulse visibly slowing underneath paper-thin skin. A warrior cut down from behind by an ax he never saw coming, blood spraying across the chest of his assailant's leather tunic. Violent deaths, silent deaths, gasping or painful deaths.

But with each death and each birth, Rey began to see. Her perspective billowed into an awareness of her own insignificance, birth was nothing, death was nothing, compared with the vastness of eternity. This was the cycle of the Force. There was no birth, no death, because in the grand scheme of infinity, it was only just balance. It was only the Force.

_Can you see now Prime? Do you have the vision to see what you must do?_

And she did.

_Now Prime, use the Sight._

She let everything go in that moment. She let go of all of her pain, all of her love, all of the past, all of her future. She let go of the need for life and the fear of death until she just _was._

And finally, completely unburdened, she joined with her other half, expanding into the World Between Worlds and beyond, listening to the pulse that was and always had been the song of the Whills.

As they focused on that sound, they drifted back into their physical bodies in time to see a path ignite before them. Beams of sunlight broke through the endless black nothing beneath their feet, shattering the silence like claps like lightning. The blinding fissures of light snaked around the frozen figures of the Sith past their own bodies frozen in combat and toward the friend they had come to warn. They glanced at each other briefly before following the trail of light until they stood before Finn.

His face was twisted into a grotesque cry, his hand clutching at his injury. Rey had to swallow the emotion gripping her throat, reminding herself that this was the past and the past was no longer written in stone but was malleable with the help of the Whills.

Instinctively she and Ben placed a hand on Finn's shoulder, willing him to hear them, to meet them in this place outside of time itself.

Finn jerked backward, eyelids fluttering as he drew in a wheezing breath. "What the hell?" His head whipped around to the petrified figures around him, to the frozen figures of Rey and Ben nearby, lightsabers raised. "What the bloody hell?"

Worried for a moment that Finn might pass out, she grabbed his arm to steady him and he was able to focus his gaze on her.

His eyes softened once he took her in, the eyes of her first real friend, clear and bright, yet full of fear. And as Rey realized just how close she had been to losing him, she couldn't stop herself from wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close.

His arms enclosed around her in a tense imitation of a hug and she remembered, to him it had only been moments since they'd seen each other. So, for his sake, she pulled back again and tried to explain.

"Finn, its okay. Ben and I have found a way to stop time for a split second." She decided to skip all of the intricacies of the Force and the Whills, thinking it too much to convey in a short time. "We need you to listen to us. Can you do that?"

And though it seemed Finn was unable to issue a sound, he nodded. At first his head moved up and down very slowly as he continued to split a stare between she and Ben in the present and their two past selves. Soon, his head began to bob faster, his nod speeding up to a frantic, crazed sort of tremor. He was not calming down.

"Finn, its alright. The Force has allowed us to pause time. It's fine, Okay?" Ben was trying his best to convey calm, soothing emotions through the Force.

Finn stopped nodding. His trembling shoulders relaxed with a deep breath and Rey took the cue to begin her explanation.

"Some crazy things are going to happen once you leave the World Between Worlds, but trust in the Force."

"Once I leave the World Between Worlds?" Finn grabbed her wrist a little too hard. Apparently he was still panicking. "Rey, crazy things are happening right now! Why did everything stop?"

His finger wobbled as he pointed to her past self. "And how the hell are you here and there?"

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/f4vESAM.jpg)

"We've had some help from the Force," she said, the explanation sounding incredibly hollow compared to the inexplicable galactic shift that had actually occurred leading up to this moment.

He stared saucer-eyed back at her, but she wasn't sure he was actually seeing her.

"Finn. When you leave Lothal, I need you to know, that the Sith Eternal have their eye on the Free Worlds Fleet and plan to surround it on Mon Calamari. You have to anticipate this. Find a way to take them by surprise."

He didn't respond.

Ben took Finn by the shoulders, rotating him so they were nose to nose. "Finn, are you hearing us?"

Finn blinked once and rubbed at the side of his face. "Yes, yes. I can hear you. It's just… how is this even possible?"

Ben was speaking slowly, like you'd speak to a frightened child. "It doesn't matter, you just need to remember not to get trapped on Mon Calamari. There are more of the Sith Eternal left than we thought. Tell Lando and Maz. And whatever happens to Rey, whatever you _think_ happens to Rey, just please make sure you protect the Fleet."

Finn's throat bobbed with a swallow and he darted another glance to their past selves.

"Okay," he said, exhaling loudly. "Okay I will. But what about now? The Sith -"

"We can't say any more. When time starts again, you will be fighting for your life the same as before," she said.

"Great, just great. This is… this is great."

Rey glanced to Ben and he nodded. This was all they needed to do, or risk time getting too jumbled up with changes and twisting into alternate realities that Rey did not have the brain power to imagine.

"Goodbye for now, Finn," she said.

Then she wrapped herself in the Force once more, joining with Ben and they placed hands on Finn's shoulders again, willing time to take him back into its jurisdiction.

Finn froze, eyes still wide but now unseeing. They'd done what they could. Now, they needed to trust their friend to make the rest happen.

Rey should have felt worried. She understood that logically. That there were so many ways this could all go wrong. But she didn't. Instead, she felt the Force as she'd never felt it before. As an energy, yes, but not in the same way she'd sensed it before. It was a _sentient_ energy. Immortal beings guided their way, worked through them, and there was something very… peaceful about that knowledge.

She felt fingers lace between her own and the incredible oneness of Ben's energy joined hers in the Force. And there was no fear. Only a purpose as they extended their reach, calling upon the song of the Whills to guide their way to the Sith.

Her vision collapsed in on itself and she was freefalling through time again. A crushing pain against her shins and she caught herself on hands and knees, realizing they'd come to rest against the impossibly black bottom of the World Between Worlds.

She winced as she shifted her weight, looking to Ben who had also been deposited into a rather unflattering position on his rear end. That was when she realized the Whills must have an ironic sense of humor. Because as she struggled to her feet, she saw that she had been deposited on her knees directly before a dozen of the most powerful Sith to have ever lived.

Most were cloaked in shadow and she could hardly make out their faces. But the three Sith at the front of the group were unmistakable. Rey let her eyes trail over them. A slimy grin slid over Darth Maul's lips as their eyes met and Darth Nihilus seemed to hover closer with her attention.

And she recognized the one at their center well enough. He looked exactly as he had when she'd last pushed him back through to the In Between.

"Back on your knees so soon apprentice?" Malak laughed, a wheezing mechanical sound that turned Rey's stomach. Then he lifted a teasing eyebrow at Ben. "I can't keep track of who you call Master anymore."

Malak glanced back to Rey. "With how long you took getting back to us my dear, I was a little worried Solo wasn't man enough to perform for you. Rumor has it Revan had the same problem, you know, he – "

"Shut your mouth," Ben snapped. "You do not get to talk to her like that."

Malak laughed again, igniting his lightsaber and stepping closer. Nihilus and Maul mirrored the action, one at each flank. "Have it your way, Solo. I've grown tired of talk as it is. Now…" His eyes narrowed, burning with the fire of his scarlet saber. "The Sith will claim the power of your Dyad at last. And we will be free from the shackles of time."

The other hooded faces closed in, like billowing storm clouds churning around the eye of a storm, they formed up with Malak at their center. And as one, the Sith raised their hands, curling their fingers as if grasping for them, and Rey knew what would follow, because she'd been in this position once before.

She could imagine the milky white tendrils of energy being drawn from her very soul and knew with certainty what was coming. It was the same power her grandfather had used on Exegol.

A Force-drain.

A soul-sucking Force-drain, this time orchestrated by not one, but a dozen, desperate Sith Lords.

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/AnQq4EV.jpg)

**Author's Note:**

> Follow the author, sweetestcondition, on Tumblr @ [ErickaWrites](https://erickawrites.tumblr.com)  
> Follow the illustrator on Tumblr @ [JenniferLadyBug](https://jenniferladybug.tumblr.com)


End file.
